In Muggle Clothes?
Why did Mr Weasley sound anxious about the "bloke wearing a kilt and poncho" at the Quidditch World Cup?
Missing moment from GoF.
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The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office had never been busier. All week long, wizard after wizard had come almost sneaking down the long Level Two corridor to rap anxiously on the door. Each had the same problem. The World Cup tickets said one must dress "incognito." In muggle clothes.
What should they wear?!
Even before Ludo Bagman had dropped by with the tickets, Arthur Weasley had never had a happier week at work. Almost all other business had been suspended, while he and Perkins had waited in eager anticipation of each enquiry. And to back up the advice, he had even had to lay on a display of muggle books! A Phildars pattern book, borrowed without asking from Molly; a 1970s copy of Vogue; two pages torn from The Times Fashion Week supplement; a Pocket Guide to Track and Field Sports; and a battered but precious copy of "Tintin In America"; all these were spread out on the desk in unarguable demonstration that ladies must NOT wear hats (at least not with vultures on the top) and gentlemen MUST wear trousers.
"Must?!" cried Basil from the Department of Magical Transportation when Arthur got to this point in the explanation. "But me old lady's particularly forbidden me to do so! She says they're indecent! Especially if I'm working!" He lowered his voice to a trembling whisper. "She said – she said she'd take drastic action if I wore trousers..."
With all the previous wizards, Arthur had been stern over the trouser issue. Muggle dress was to be worn, and muggle dress was trousers. But Basil's old lady was somewhat of a by-word in the Ministry, even in the backwater of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office. What Basil's old lady might consider to be drastic action in the event of Basil appearing in public in trousers really didn't bear thinking about. Arthur took off his glasses and polished them hastily at the very thought. "Well," he fumbled, "er-"
"There must be something else!" Basil persisted, putting down 'Vogue' and picking up the 'Track and Field Sports Guide'. "Something! Yes! Here!" He slammed the book down on the desk before Arthur, a trembling finger pointing to the full-page illustration. "Look! He's not in trousers!"
Arthur peered. So did Perkins. For it was true. In full colour, full-page glory was a muggle man not in trousers.
"Caber Tosser," Basil read out, squinting at the caption upside down. "And he's wearing a … kilt, that says." He looked up. "Where do I get a kilt?"
Muggle men did not have to wear trousers. Muggle men did not have to wear trousers. This idea was so startling that Arthur stared blankly at the questioning Basil, unable for the moment to even process the problem of finding a not-trousers kilt. It was Perkins who answered.
"We've got one."
And before Arthur or Basil could do more than look round, Perkins had trotted off to the filing cabinet where all the unreturned muggle artefacts were squashed in, and began pulling things out. Old newspapers, a door handle, two tennis balls, various eklektric appliances Arthur had cut the plugs off, and then he held up what looked like a crumpled tartan rag. "This is a kilt."
They tried it on Basil over his Ministry robes, for one of the apparent advantages of a muggle kilt was that it was adjustable. "It'll overlap a bit more when it's by itself," said Arthur reassuringly, as Basil considered the six-inch flap at the front.
Basil nodded. "I suppose so. Now, what about me top half?"
Here there was a problem. The Caber Tosser did not seem to be wearing much at all on his top half. His muscles bulged from under a sort of stringy vest Arthur was sure Molly would have condemned and unravelled as having been knitted up on much the wrong size needles.
"That won't do," said Basil, his voice returning to a distraught tone. "Me old lady wouldn't have to take drastic measures! I'd have caught me death of cold in five minutes!"
Perkins looked equally lost, but the thought of what Molly would have said about that vest gave Arthur a brainwave. After all, wizard robes weren't really meant to be worn with woolly jumpers, but when it came to catching cold, Molly had always insisted that staying warm mattered above all else in dress. Pepper-up potion was not a substitute for dressing sensibly.
"If it was still muggle clothes, you could wear something else on top!"
"Me robes?" said Basil hopefully.
"No, no, no." Arthur shook his head and snatched up the Phildar's Knitting Patterns. "A muggle top – a warmer one." He held out a page of Men's Waistcoat patterns. "Something like those."
Perkins peered over, and then turned the page and tapped on another picture. "We've got one of those."
Unisex, read the caption. Poncho. For all the world, it looked like one of the old cloaks Molly used to cut down for Ginny to wear.
"That 'ud do," said Basil, brightening again. "Almost like normal. And you said you'd got one?"
Many were the things which had to be dug out of the filing cabinet to find the poncho. Arthur took the time to hunt up both kilt and poncho on the card index, just in case they had any previous owners who might be attending the World Cup and cause Basil embarrassment by suddenly laying claim to his clothes.
"Well?" asked Basil, as Perkins finally produced a large but shabby black poncho.
Arthur shut the card index happily. "The kilt was a minor case, charmed to flap up whenever the wind blew, and the poncho strangled its previous owner but in both cases, the charms only activate on muggle wearers. You'll be fine."
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A/N: So yes, my muse has returned, bringing a bad head cold, sick leave, a wacky sense of humour but at least some Weasleys!