a.n. I just HAD to write this out when I read chapter 199… My heart broke for Allen and this is the first time I really hated Hoshino sensei…

Be warned that this story contains MAJOR spoilers from chapter 199. And this is likely to be a 2-shot story..

Oh… and I dun hav a beta so pls excuse my poor usage of language.

Disclaimer: Dgrayman belongs to Hoshino Katsura. However if I did own it, Yullen will not be just fan-fiction…

Allen's POV

Love.

A feeling that I never thought I would truly feel again after Mana died.

Yet now… Something tagged from the corner of my heart, demanding me to acknowledge it… Something that felt like that lost feeling…

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When I opened my eyes and saw Alma's true form, I could not believe it.

Kanda had in his arms, the body which holds the soul of the person he had been seeking for the past 9 years. The person whom he had made a promise to so long ago. The person whom he had held so dearly in his heart that there was no place for another… No place for me.

But she was desperate not to let him know the truth. Desperate enough to self-destruct. Because the need to hold on to his love had overwrite all the senses in her.

I stared in shock while they exploded before my eyes. "What will happen to Kanda…?" I thought as I ran toward the brittle body of one of the strongest person I have come to know.

"Kanda who lived the past nine years knowing nothing…." I can't stop my tears from falling. It was as if I was feeling this heartbreaking pain on Kanda's behalf, a pain I knew Kanda would have felt had he known the truth. "What will happen to Kanda's feelings?"

"I can't tell him… If Yuu found out that I was that person, then he would stop searching…" I stared in disbelieve as the pile of ash where Alma's body had exploded into, resuscitated itself. "The promise we made that day… as long as he was bound by the promise he made with that person, he is forever hers…"

"But he is already hers forever," I thought bitterly, as more tears were shed, of my unacquainted feelings for him, "hers and yours. There had never been others and probably never will."

Alma crawled, as he search for Kanda in the wrong direction, further n further away from him. "He's the one person I didn't want to lose…!"

That, I can relate, for Kanda is someone I don't want to lose either. Despite of his harsh words and cold appearance, his care and concern for us, his friends, was the most genuine thing that we have received during this callous war. The thing that I had come to treasure the most. The thing that I had come to love.

I knew he did not return any of my feelings. He cannot, not with his heart all filled with that person. All he really wanted was to reunite with her. And all I want now is for him to have what he wants.

I picked Alma up and carried him towards Kanda."Kanda is this way…" I want to lessen Kanda's pain in any way I could and make him happy if possible… Even at the cost of myself…

"You're so nice…" Alma said before the dark matter once again tried to take possession of his body.

"This is fine… Thank you…" Alma smiled and reassured me.

NO!

I watched as the dark matter took over Alma's body intending to devour his soul, her soul. I know I must stop it, if not for anything, for Kanda's sake.

Then I heard it.

"Bean sprouts…"

Relieve tears threaten to spill as I halted and turn to look at the one person who will calls me by that nickname.

I looked into that beautiful dark blue eyes of his and understood what he wants. He needed help to get to Alma's side. He needed my help to get the closure with her. Wordlessly I wrapped my arms around him and grabbed his Mugen for him. Using the earl as a pivot, I swing us towards Alma.

"Do you remember where we went on our first mission" Kanda whispered to me.

"Yes!" I answered. "Of course I do, I'm just surprised that you did too." I thought but kept my mouth shut, surprised but happy that he had remembered.

"No one should be able to find us there." With that, Kanda left my arms and flew towards his beloved. And because I want what he wants, I'll help him.

"Kanda!" I can't resist calling out to him, to look at his face for one last time. "Lenny san told me. If anyone was capable of helping Alma, it'd be Kanda. I… feel the same." I smiled at him and sincerely prayed for his happiness.

Then it was as if my prayers were heard, Kanda smiled at me. He SMILE and called me by my name. "Thank you… Allen Walker."

I can't stop a blush from creeping up my face as I hear my name escape from his mouth for the first time ever.

And that smile… It warmed my heart. It was a smile that I never thought I would get to see. He was perfect with that smile.

"You being here helped me." With that, Kanda left my arms and flew towards his beloved while I resolved to do everything in my power to keep that smile there.

I watched as Kanda hugged Alma and told him, "Let's run away from here together. To a place where there is no innocence, no church. Together, this time…"

What I would kill for him to say those words to me… but no, those words were not for me just like his love is not mine.

I may not have his love, but he has mine. Because of that, I want him to be happy, to suffer no more. "ARK GATE!" I shouted as I create the pathway for them to escape. Watched as my love disappeared with his love… and closed the gate behind them. "GATE ADARA!"

I refused to let the tears drop.

Instead I directed my energy to another area. I'm determined to keep them safe. Keep Kanda safe. Turning to the rest of the audiences around me, I announced, "I will not allow Noah or the church to get in the way any longer!"

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Mana once told me that there was this saying, "if you love someone, let them go…"

I love you, Kanda. Please be happy…

Reviews pretty pls? =)