Stuck With YOU (Revised)
Chapter One
By Mrs. Padfoot
Author's Note: I know, you're thinking the hell! Revised!
Well, it was Mrs. Prongs' idea. She really just wanted a way to get out of writing the next chapter of SKL, but she thought that since we've both grown as writers and as people since the original publication of our stories, and since the second anniversary of our writing was not to long ago (the date that the last two chapters of SKL were written, but not posted), it was kindof fitting to go back to our beginnings and make them prettier. The original SWY will, of course, remain in case that's what you want to read, but anyway, aren't you even curious to see the differences between the two? A little?
Anyway, I think this chapter gives a good idea of what we intend to do. It's not very different, but it's more detailed, and I think (and Mrs. Prongs, I think, agrees with me) it's better. Anyway. Give it a try.
--
"I'm bored," Sirius Black informed Lily Evans casually. The hidden meaning behind those words might have terrified some, annoyed some, frustrated some, and even delighted some.
Lily didn't even look up.
"That's nice," she told him.
"I need something to do."
"Lovely."
"I think I'm going to turn Snape into a squirrel," he said.
"Do, and I'll give you detention every night for the rest of the year," she said in a saccharine-sweet voice, studiously staring at the rack of candy in front of her.
"I'd do it anyway," he told her.
She believed him.
"What do you want?" she asked, attempting to convey her irritation and anger at once.
"I want to play sardines," he said happily.
She really had to work on expressing emotions with her voice.
"That," said Lily, "has got to be the single, most stupid thing I have ever heard in my life."
"I think I'm insulted," said Sirius.
"You should be," said Lily.
"I really want to play Sardines," he said.
"Then go play Sardines," said Lily, gritting her teeth and glaring down at the sugar quills before her. "You have your little group to play with."
"Remus says you need four people to play Sardines," said Sirius mournfully.
"You have four people, Black," she told him. "You, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew. One, two, three, four."
She closed her eyes and mentally tried to will him away. Maybe a wandless banishing charm...
"No we don't," moaned Sirius. "Jamesey has detention. And Remus says he won't play with only three people."
She whirled at him.
"What do you want?"
"I want you to come play Sardines with us," said Sirius happily.
"Why should I?"
"Because if you don't," he said. "I'll play with Snivellus – I think he would like being a squirrel. If you do – I won't play with our dear little friend for two whole months."
Why, why did that actually seem like a threat to her peace of mind? Honestly, it wasn't like he was going to turn her into a squirrel (not that she would let him get the chance, of course). It wasn't like not playing Sardines was going to kill her or anything.
So why was she feeling more and dejected and defeated by the minute?
The truth was, playing Sardines would likely be better than having to deal with another one of their pranks.
"Fine," she said. "What do I do?"
Lily held herself very still as the feet approached the door to the room which enclosed the table she was hiding under, hoping that no one would even enter, let alone approach. Some part of her knew that eventually, one of them would find her, but the rest of her mind was working very, very hard to supress that niggling thought.
A part of her wondered why she was here. Why wasn't she just enjoying her Hogsmeade visit like a normal student? Why was she hiding under the table in the back room of The Three Broomsticks? Why did she always get involved in these stupid little things? Seriously. Out of the many, many other students Sirius could have roped into this, why, why, had he chosen her?
Frowning, Lily tried to figure out where her life had gone so drastically wrong. Despite the fact that she was almost always in the company of one James Potter (not by her own choice, mind you), she still somehow usually managed to keep some semblance of dignity.
The truth was, she could only remain hidden for so long. She guessed that she had been hiding here for a little over two hours in the tiny, cramped area underneath the table. Her legs were starting to go numb, and her knees hurt. She had decided that Sardines was one of those things that could only be described as hours of excruciating boredom and pain, broken up with short moments of pure terror.
She shut her eyes tightly and decided that next time Sirius Black tried to pull her into one of his stupid games because he was bored, she would kill him. Really, seriously, kill him. Well, no, she wouldn't, but it didn't matter, because next time, she would ignore him, even if said he was going to burn down the castle if she didn't play with him. Because this was not worth it. She was ruining her Hogsmeade weekend, and all in the name of keeping Sirius Black from playing one of his stupid pranks.
As the echo of approaching footsteps reached her attentive ear, she tried to squeeze back even further into her hiding spot.
How the hell had she had ended up so paranoid?
Funny thing was, these particular footsteps seemed to be headed right for her.
She frowned as the door to the back room opened and closed, emitting... someone.
The feet moved towards her as if she had summoned them.
Seriously frightened now, she tried to flatten herself against the back of the wall behind her. The feet did not seem to notice.
They even stopped right in front of the table.
James Potter poked his head down to her level.
"I thought you were in detention," whispered Lily fervently as he slid next to her.
"Oh I was," he said. "I just finished."
He looked quite ridiculous, actually, because he was too tall for the space Lily barely fit in herself and his neck was splayed at a rather awkward angle to keep his head from going straight through the wood of the tabletop. But what might have seemed funny under normal circumstances just seemed depressing now. She didn't think she could laugh at someone else's lack of comfort just now.
Except maybe Sirius Black's.
"I suppose you saw your dear friend Sirius and he told you to join in on the fun? Well, now that there are four of you, I'll just be going and you can take my spot – "
She started leaning forward to crawl out of her prison, but he caught her arm, successfully preventing any further forward momentum on her part.
"You can't," he said. "Practically the whole school is playing now, all looking for you, not me. They'll be furious with you. You'll never live it down."
She stopped and looked at him.
"And anyway, I didn't run into Sirius," he continued. "I ran into two Ravenclaws, Stephanie Glenn and Alexandra Oatman – they're playing, of course, because, you know, well, most people are playing. Anyway, I think Stephanie is quite taken with me – d'you think it's my legendary charm?"
"Get over yourself," said Lily, rolling her eyes.
"I'm serious!"
"No, you're James," said Lily automatically. It was a stupid joke that had been used far, far too many times, but James still smiled at it. But a smile from James said nothing about how funny she was and everything about how hot he thought she was. "But how did you find me?"
"Maybe I just know you better than everyone else," he grinned.
"Dammit, James!" she growled. "How the hell did you do it? I've been here two hours and no one else has managed to find me, and you walk off detention, find out what's going on from your little girlfriends, and then walk straight to my hiding spot! How, how, how?"
"Move over," he told her.
"Tell me how you did it first," she said.
"No. Move over. I wish you had chosen a place that was more comfortable. No wonder no one's found you yet. Who'd want to sit here for hours at a time?"
"That's what makes it a good hiding place," she informed him. "No one will look for me here."
"No kidding," he muttered.
"I don't suppose you brought anything to read."
"I came straight here," he told her.
"Exactly my point," she said. "How did you do it? It galls me. You couldn't've checked anywhere else, and I have a sick feeling you knew exactly where I was as soon as you knew I was hiding."
"I did," he confirmed, completely unconcerned, "I suppose it's because I know how your mind works."
"You do not know how my mind works," she muttered.
"I beg to differ," he said. "I found you, didn't I? And yes, I knew where you were as soon as I heard you were the one hiding. I was just wondering if anyone else had figured it out."
"Hmmph," she muttered.
"What are we doing here, anyway?" he asked.
"Playing sardines," she said.
"Will it sound stupid if I ask what that is?"
"Yes," she said.
"Oh, screw it. What's sardines?"
She rolled her eyes.
"It's like the reverse of hide and seek. One person hides, everyone else finds them, and hides with them."
"Oh," he said. "How did you know that?"
"I used to play it with my sister when I was little," she said quietly.
"How did Padf – Sirius – know about it?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know?"
"Um, Lily?"
"What?"
"You do know most of the school is playing, right?"
"You told me. Several times, actually."
"How are they all supposed to fit under this table with us?" he asked. "I don't get it."
"That's the point," she groaned. "Eventually they'll all be sprawled out across the floor around us. They probably won't all fit in the room."
He snickered, probably turning the perfectly innocent image of a child's game at it's peak to some giant Hogwarts orgy or something disgusting like that, but he didn't have a change to answer her, as at that moment two pairs of feet, one male, and one female became visible in their limited view of the room.
"Lock the door," said a familiar male voice, followed by a click.
Lily, looking horrified, scrambled to get out from under the table, but James caught her by the arm, once again preventing escape.
She glared at him, but he shook his head, putting his finger to his mouth. He pulled her close enough to whisper in his ear.
"If we get up now," he said almost inaudibly, "they'll see us."
He had a point.
"On the table," said the female voice, which Lily knew she recognized from somewhere, maybe, but didn't really know.
Sure enough, both pairs of feet disappeared above them.
"Oh my god," said James, seconds later.
"What?" asked Lily.
He pointed at something.
"Oh my god," said Lily. "I am not old enough to be here right now."
"What?" he said. "Oh – you mean the bra?"
"Yes," whispered Lily. "I mean the ruddy black lace bra! On the floor! What did you think?"
"I was looking at the boxers," said James helpfully.
"Why?"
"They're – they're Sirius's!"
Lily looked at the boxers (covered with golden snitches) and then back at James.
"You're kidding," she said.
"No," he said.
"This is not happening," said Lily.
"It better not be," said James, "cause if it is, it means that Sirius – Sirius – is getting lucky before me!"
Of course, Lily frowned, throwing him a disgusted look. That would be the part of this James Potter was focusing on.
"Keep your voice down," she told him.
"Oh, woe is me," said James mournfully.
Above them, the table shook violently. A shoe hit the ground with a thud.
"I am undone," said James.
"Please, if you have any mercy, don't ever quote Shakespeare," moaned Lily. "And for the love of god, would you please just shut up?"
James looked at her and did.
For a minute.
"Say, Lily," he said. "Do you wanna help me beat Sirius – I mean, not technically, but seem like we did it at the same time?"
"Not particularly," said Lily.
"Damn," said James.
A few seconds passed.
Then James snorted.
Lily shot him a glance that was half puzzlement and half what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you.
Tears were rolling from his eyes, and he was shaking.
God.
He was trying not to laugh.
After the shock and confusion wore off, Lily slapped her hand over his mouth.
"Don't you dare," she yelped quietly.
"I can't help it," he said. "It's just too weird."
"This is not funny," she informed him.
"Yes it is," said James, snickering. "Oh, hell, yes it is."
His whole body was shaking, and it was getting harder and harder to keep him under control.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Damn," said Sirius audibly.
"Guess it's good we didn't get to the good stuff," said the female voice.
"I dunno," said Sirius. "I was enjoying the stuff we were doing pretty well myself."
"James!" said Lily in an urgent whisper, "her robe!"
James looked around and saw what Lily meant – the girl's robe was partway under the table. He shoved it away just before her hand reached down to grab it.
A few more seconds passed, and two pairs of feet hit the floor, heading for the door, which opened.
James poked his head out from under the table. Lily tried to grab him back, but before she could, he was back under the table.
"It's her – one of those two Ravenclaws I talked to."
"There you are, Alex," said another female voice. "I couldn't find you. Where were you?"
"Oh," said the first female voice (which, was, presumably Alex). "Sirius thought he knew where Lily might be – but well, he was wrong. They're not in here."
Okay, that was funny, Lily thought, her hand clamping to her mouth to dissolve the giggles there.
Oblivious, Alexandra and Sirius exited with Stephanie, and the door shut behind them.
James jumped out from the under the table.
"Where are you going?" asked Lily, confused.
"We have to find another hiding place," said James.
"No we don't," said Lily. "They'll never look for us here now. And besides, it's against the rules of the – "
"Yes, whatever," said James, waving his hand to cut her off. "But someone will eventually find us, and then word will get out that we were here when they were here and then – well, Sirius and that Ravenclaw will kill us and chop is into eensy weensy pieces."
"Oh my god," said Lily. "You're right."
"We are finding another hiding place," said James, heading for the exit. "Now."