AN: So, I wrote this (yet again for a YJanonMeme) a while back and never finished it. However, I'm tempted to finish it up. Though this is probably more edited than the one I posted on LJ.
Anyway Triggers: Non-con/Dub-con/some abuse. Of course, Slash (Of the Kaldur/Aquaman and Kaldur/Roy kind).
Because even Kaldur has angst-fans.
Ps: Oocness with a point.
It was the least he could do
Kaldur had tried to let go of that feeling called 'outrage' on his own behalf. He had no right to that any more. He knows the reason for this now. It wasn't his fault, though. They both know it, but he stand there in the damp cold room without his weapons nude and waits silently for judgement.
Idly, a part of him wonder what it would be this time. The wounds from before had healed up in a matter of a few days. He was lucky, this time. They didn't have a mission for a while.
Though sometimes he wish they did so then he could-
"Kaldur'ahm.."
His head tilts up into the blue eyes that held dark emotions in them. "What is your wish?"
It was the least he could do. After all, his father-Black Manta- had caused this pain. Taken the life of the heir to the throne, putting this strain and separation on his king and queen's marriage that made it necessary for him to step in.
After all, Orin was still King. He needed to have a clear head.
Vaguely, he hopes he's gotten better at pleasing his king. If his king was happy, than Kaldur could relax. If his king was not-
He chokes, coughing as his mouth was filled with the salty taste that went down the wrong pipe-so to speak.
He'll never get used to that.
But then again, Queen Mera, from what he had gleaned from the Lady's in waiting gossip, never had to.
Which, his mind oh-so-helpfully reminds him, means he's due back to the palace soon.
His body trembles, whether it's from what his king was currently doing to it or the knowledge that Queen Mera was a very good sorceress.
A sorceress that knew more spells, both forbidden and not, that could do more harm to his person and perhaps even regrow limps if she must.
Kaldur gasps loudly at the feeling of being stretched again. Before, he had been able to distance himself from what was happening. He could do that for most things except for when they get to this part. When Orin does this, it's like a switch in his body has been turned on and he couldn't help his reaction.
In those few moments of bodies meeting, of a grunt answering the soft mewling sounds, his king always mutters, "Forgive me."
Kaldur always did. At the moment, he couldn't imagine not forgiving him. Not with this feeling that made him forget everything. If only-
- It never lasts long, and his king always leaves first without a backward look.
When it ends, he only leans against the wall, hoping he would stop trembling before he had to return to Mount Justice. Hoping that this ball of fire, that had somehow gotten into his chest, would stop burning with emotions he didn't want to think about. That those tears would finally stop and he could become normal again.
And when he finally leaves, he tells himself that this is penance for his father's sins. That the king and queen can take it out on him until they've caught Black Manta.
It's the only thing he looks forward to in this.
Not that many people know, but there is a position within a noble household that is generally filled by the servants' children. Or perhaps some peasant child that was picked up for this special title.
The title called "whipping boy".
Used as a method to punish nobleman's children in trying to appeal to their sense of horror at the pain of others. If one was lucky, they would have a kind child who would instantly stop all wrong doings for the sake of another to not become hurt. If not...
For Kaldur, he filled this, even though there were no children. Even if the sense of horror never seem to touch on his tormentor's face. It was simply a ruse, he would think.
For the first time, he's afraid of returning to Atlantis.
He's more afraid of his Queen than of his king. He thinks he could handle King Orin's impotent rages and lusts because as soon as it's over, it's over. There's no more. The king never stays, he never says anything afterwards and just leaves him alone for months at a time until he's back for something else.
However, the queen was another story.
Kaldur wonders if she has utterly replaced who he is with what his father had done. Thus projecting on him the image of Black Manta himself.
He wants to reason with her and try to talk her out of it, but he thinks grief may have driven the woman mad. She always keeps him off balance with her moods.
Sometimes, she acts gentle and sweet. Like she would never hurt him and he could almost believe her. It's the other times when under the pretense of teaching an advance class the 'dangers' of magic, does it become painfully clear how happy it makes her to see him in pain. It's never a laugh or anything like that. No, her joy is far more subtle. He could always see it in her eyes when she stops and then goes on to ask the class questions.
She was worse because she torments him with sweet words and gestures.
"I am sorry, Kaldur'ahm." She had cooed once when his body still wrecked with painful shocks of her latest spell. In the cool darkness of his room and the soft glowing lights, he could only make out her eyes and mouth. Her hand runs over his hair and face in a soothing gesture. Like a mother would do calming her upset child. "I put a little too much force behind that spell."
He does not speak, because he knows she means it. At least he desperately wants to believe that she never really means it. That she's hurting Black Manta and not him.
It's not him.
He really hopes that it is not him she's trying to hurt so badly.
"I'll be gentler with the next one." Mera smiles at him sincerely, "This one will wear off soon enough. I'll sit with you until then."
Even as his body twitched and spasms at the bits of pain that came through, he could hear her humming something. He doesn't know the words but before his eyes close, he hears her whisper.
"My little boy.."
Kaldur doesn't remember anything else beyond that when he returns to Mount Justice a few days later.
The knock at his door makes him tense and reach for his water bearers. He doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to do this any more. Even as he thinks this, the voice that stubbornly remains loyal says that he owes them.
That he should be there because he wasn't there to stop it. That he wasn't there to help at all. That his blood was corrupted and was the cause of all this pain.
"Kaldur?"
It was M'gann.
He tries to close himself off to her. To shut his mind down. She shouldn't have to see any of that. No one must see this. It was his problem..he is dealing with it.
He is terrified.
"Aquaman is waiting for you." She sounds hesitant this time.
Kaldur closes his eyes and wonders what this could mean. Would he be with his King for the majority of this time or the queen? Great Poseidon, he does not want to do both. He didn't think he could take that.
Not like he had much of a choice now as he gets to his feet and resigns himself to his fate.
"I will be there in a moment." He waits a beat, "Thank you, M'gann."
He doesn't want to go.