Title: Resolution
Author: HopefulNebula (hopefullynebulousyahoo.com)
Rating: G
Summary: A companion piece to Compulsion, told from Trip's point of view.
Disclaimer: I own this computer and a cat who thinks I want to give her ear scratchies. Therefore, I don't own Enterprise.
Spoilers: Same deal as Compulsion: pre-Harbinger is fair game.
A/N: It's 1 AM, I can't sleep, and I promised myself I'd do this before I go to London. So here goes.
Every time I feel as if all the pain isn't worth it, every time I feel alone in my despair, every time Lizzy and Sim and Charles and this entire damned Expanse become just too much for me, all I have to do is look into her eyes. T'Pol's what keeps me going out here these days. God only knows how a Vulcan woman could become such a driving force in my life, but I'm glad she has. T'Pol's the strongest person I know—one of the few people I know who are stronger than the past. She brings me back to the world bit by bit. Every time I feel her soft hands slide and press against me, I feel a little more healed.
When it gets really bad out here, I sometimes ask myself whether there is any good in living in a world where so much can go so wrong. And whenever I think that, I realize that T'Pol is that force of good. If Lizzy hadn't been killed, we could never have been as close as we are now. I would have no one to speak to as an equal.
All I regret about this closeness is that I haven't truly confided in her. I've allowed our intimacy to rest in limbo between friendship and something deeper, the kind of friendship that the captain and I used to have.
My computer beeps softly and all thoughts of the Captain vacate my mind—it's neuropressure night and I've lost track of time. Tonight I'll get up the courage to tell her everything. At least I hope I will. If I don't, I fear I will lose whatever may be between us forever.