Resolutions Chapter 1: What the Hell, a ncis fanfic

What The Hell - NCIS FanFic

Abby sat in her apartment, watching the rain out the window on a lonely Saturday afternoon. Not even the best of the gore sites on the internet could distract her, and she felt strangely depressed. She wasn't even intrested in going for a Caf-POW! and seeing what McGee or Tony or Ziva were up to.

She stood up, her stocking-clad feet pattering across the floor to her CD player. Her brother and niece had been over for dinner last night, and her niece had left her one of her CD's to listen to. She popped it in, put it on random, and went back and sat back down.

A couple songs played through, and she didn't pay them any mind. Then, one with an upbeat tempo started playing and Abby listened. It fit her so well right now, that she went over and turned up the volume and restarted the song, laughing as she danced to it.

You say that I'm messing with your head

All cause I was making out with your friend

Love hurts whether it's right or wrong

I can't stop cause I'm having too much fun

Abby realized she DID have fun everyday with him. Some of the best times in Abbyville were when he came down to the lab with a Caf-POW! for her and a coffee for him, and they sat around discussing different theories about evidence and such things. It was fun, just like when she was with McGee, but it was different. Fun and relaxing.

You're on your knees

Begging please

Stay with me

But honestly

I just need to be a little crazy

She thought about before they had left the lab yesterday, how he had asked her if she had wanted to hang out. She had declined, and wondered if the hurt she had seen in his eyes, the disapointment, had been mirrored in hers. She wanted to be more then friends, and if she was alone with him, rule #12 might become a problem because she did not honestly know if she could hold herself back. She could imagine him getting on his knees and begging her to come with him, but she honestly didn't know how he felt. Abby thought that sometimes he acted if they were closer, but then other times he didn't. It was so confusing to her.

All my life I've been good,

But now

I'm thinking What The Hell

All I want is to mess around

And I don't really care about

If you love me

If you hate me

You can save me

Baby, baby

All my life I've been good

But now

Whoaaa...

What The Hell

Abby wondered, honestly, what would happen if she did say what the hell, if she decided to give in to her heart and try to tell him how she felt. Would he be accepting of it? Would he hate her for the rest of their lives? Would he not feel the same, and they still go on as if nothing had ever happened?

So what if I go out on a million dates

You never call or listen to me anyway

I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day

Don't get me wrong

I just need some time to play

She then thought about all the dates she had been on, all the men that she had tried to match up to him. They were meaningless, she realized, when all she had wanted was him all along. This realization made her stop dancing around the room and think more. Would those other relationships that he had also meaningless to him, as he was searching for the right one?

You're on your knees

Begging please

Stay with me

But honestly

I just need to be a little crazy

She had that happen before, with others and Abby knew that the last thing she wanted to seem to be was desperate. She could see herself on her knees, begging him, but maybe not vice versa. She wanted to be with him, but there was also a small doubt as to wether or not she could remain true to herself. She knew that was stupid; she knew that. He loved her for her. He told her so on many occasions, but that 'I love you' was like she told her brother or niece or best friend. Well, he WAS her best friend (IS, she thought), her confidante, the only one he really trusted 100% outside of work.

All my life I've been good,

But now

I'm thinking What The Hell

All I want is to mess around

And I don't really care about

If you love me

If you hate me

You can save me

Baby, baby

All my life I've been good

But now

Whoaaa...

What The Hell

Even if she did tell him, she wondered if it would be worth it. Would he think back and think that she was trying to replace or make him forget someone else? That was the last thing she wanted. All Abby wanted was for him to be happy, with or without her. He lived a lonely life, well, maybe not lonely but he was alone a lot. She didn't care if he hated her or loved her... she just wanted to be with him no matter what, as friends or whatever.

You say that I'm messing with your head

Boy, I like messing in your bed

Yeah, I am messing with your head when

I'm messing with you in bed

She sat and thought too, would a potential relationship even escalate to more then just love? Would that be messing with his head, the fact she wanted to love him in so many different ways, as well as show him that love physically? She knew he would be a gentlemen, as he always was, and she would be the wild one to compliment his wild side.

All my life I've been good,

But now

I'm thinking What The Hell

All I want is to mess around

And I don't really care about

All my life I've been good,

But now

I'm thinking What The Hell

All I want is to mess around

And I don't really care about

If you love me

If you hate me

You can save me

Baby, baby

All my life I've been good

But now

Whoaaa...

Abby put her boots on, and grabbed her coat. What The Hell! she thought, and opened the door as the last few bars of the song played. The CD player had turned off with the light she had switched off as she left. She decided it was time to tell him how she really felt, and though there were butterflies in her stomach and she was nervous as hell, She was going to do it and she would hold her head up no matter what his response was.

What the hell!