waitin

DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story belong to Marvel. No infringement intended, blah,blah,blah. Please, please, please do not reproduce this story in part or in whole anywhere without at least asking me first! Thank you...

email me at Sarah.Watkins@onyx.net

Right Here Waiting

A short character piece.

You try writing with this accent for long and see what it does to you.

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Y'know, sometimes even I get sick o' dis place. Long t'get outta here an' do what you did. Travel t'pastures new. Leave th' Guilds behind. But t'ain't so easy f'r me, Remy. Yo' poppa still alive – he runs his own Guild. Since minedeparted dis world, de Assassin's Guild's been all mine. Matriarch, dey call me. Well, t'ain't dat often dat I feel at all maternal or motherly. But is MY Guild now an' exists f'r me t'do wid what I want.

Dis might surprise ya, but I ain't proud of what m'family does, Remy. Doesn't make a gal very popular wid de boys. 'Hey, chica, what does ya do f'r a livin'?' 'Oh, I kills people.' Dey hot-tail it outta de bayou faster'n you kin say be seein' ya.' Not dat it really matters anyway, cos I never loved anyone but you.

Dere. Said it.

Embarrassed? I am.

Many's de night I sit out on the porch, lookin' out over the swamps, listenin' to gators an' other swamp life movin' and existin', carryin' out whatever it is dey do to survive. An' den I get sad, Remy. Cos since you left, dere ain't been no real reason f'r me to do dat. Survive, I mean.

Dat daywhen we was gettin' married, I was happy. Real happy. I did love you, always did. Right from when we were li'l kids. When I'd distract de shopkeeper so you could steal sweets from him. Like when you stood up f'r me when dem other boys was pickin' on me. When we stole dat first real kiss in secret, behind de Guildhouse when we was twelve.

Remy LeBeau – Bella Donna Boudreaux. I always knew we would be t'gether. So we was like de Romeo an' Juliet o' de Guild world. Warrin' families, different attitudes t'lifebut we was meant t'be t'gether an' on our weddin' day, I t'ought we could put our differences behind us an' do what we were meant t'do. Love one another.

If only Julien hadn't done what he did

Ah, listen t'me, LeBeau. Pathetic li'l Bel, livin' out her dreams on if only's'.

I was horrible 'bout you when you left. Hell, we'd only been married f'r one day. What else is a girl t'do when de man she loves more'n life itself walks out on her? Course I was horrible. I know you had no choice, Remy, but you could've asked if I'd wanted t'go wid you.

I would've. Like a shot.

But you left. In dead of th' night, like th' t'ief dat you are. I woke up on my honeymoon mornin' wid no husband and an entire Guild hatin' me f'r my involvement wid you.

Why me?

Self pity, Bel? Poppa would be disappointed in you.

Assassin I might be, Remy, but dere's somet'in' else I am dat goes much, much deeper n' dat. First an' foremost, I'm a woman. A lonely, passionate woman who misses her husband more'n she'd ever publicly admit. We weren't jus' lovers, Remy, we were friends. And maybe dat's what Bel misses more'n anyth'in'. Your counsel.

How long has passed? Months? Years? Could be aeons an' I'd never notice. T'ings go on here like dey always did. In-fightin', squabbles, petty differencesy'know, Remyif it weren't f'r dat cursed t'ing we call sometimes I t'ink I'll just disband th' Guild an' leave.

Leave. Where would I go? I'd go to you if I could, but you got your own life now. Where would a bitter estranged wife fit into your snug li'l X-Men world? My husband, th' X-Man. Still makes me smile when I t'ink o' it.

We was offered th' contract on Xavier, y'know, Remy. I turned it down cos of you. Dat's why I'm contactin' ya now. Set me t'thinkin', didn't it? Why would I care 'bout keepin' your precious li'l world as it was? I din't want t'see your safety an' happiness ruined cos of meagain. Call it a late bridal gift. Call it childish infatuation. Call it what you will.

I call it love.

I tried t'hate you, Remy. Tried so hard it hurt – still hurts. But I can't let go o' you. I jus' want t'turn back th' clock an' make everythin' right between us. I want what we had before. Your fingers in my hair, your arms wrapped around meah, Remy. If Bel were give t'th' dramaticI'd say somet'in' bout my beatin' heart.

We shared t'ings dat you an' Rogue may never share an' f'r dat, well, maybe I am truly grateful. An' I know what you's thinkin', always did know. You's gon' be sayin' t'your X-Men friendsBel gone crazy, mes amis. Dat cute li'l blonde Assassin kid dat I grew up wid has done turned into one crazy lady. You's probably right. Maybe I am gon' a li'l bit crazy.

I jus' wanted t'tell you how I feel an' now I feel kinda stupid. I been drinkin' too much wine t'night, non? An' you know how dat makes me. Maybe dis will get t'you some day, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow an' destroy it.

I love you, Remy LeBeau.

Always did, always will.

Remember dat next time you look out your window, look out at the night and let your homesick thoughts turn t'th' bayou. Cos dat's where I'll be.

Right here waitin'.

(c) S Watkins, 2000