Disclaimer: I own nothing in the following story. It's either a Chicago-plotline version of Harry Potter or a Harry-Potterized Chicago, (sans singing due to my inability to write poetry) but I own none of it. And take it easy, it's parody, that's why it's un-canon.
It was good to induce the fearful cowering of others, so thought Bellatrix Lestrange as she tightened her grip on her wand. She was angry beyond measure. Andromeda had crossed the line being a blood traitor, but now, she'd really done it. She should have realized that if she didn't end up dead that she'd end up with nothing. Ted wouldn't stand for this--or would he? The minds of Muggles, Mudbloods and blood traitors worked in strange ways.
Not usually one to indulge in killings of a personal nature, reserving her services for the Dark Lord, Bellatrix recieved satisfaction in threatening Andromeda and Rodolphus with death. They'd been wrong, and more importantly, stupid, in allowing Bellatrix to catch them, for lack of a better term, exchanging fluids. Had they meant for her to catch them? It certainly was an unwise choice. Bella didn't even bother to rant and scream, or sneer insulting remarks at her husband, who had disgraced the entire Black family, and her sister, who was a traitor on so many levels. It was very, very good to lift her Cruciatus curse on the two, only to inflict a greater revenge...
"Avada kedavra."
Bellatrix was apprehended by Aurors just hours later. She was unable to fight given her constant maniacal cackling.
Nymphadora Tonks Lupin was inexplicably depressed. The Ministry was slowly crumbling, and the Death Eaters were more powerful than ever. Rather than their usual outings and killing sprees, they were taking out governments and gradually taking control, which Tonks supposed was better than before, since they were merely deseating the government instead of killing. It seemed everyone was losing their grip. And speaking of losing grips...
Tonks hurriedly got dressed. Daylight was approaching, and Remus would soon be home, by which time, Antonin Dolohov would need to be out of the apartment complex and the evidence of their doings hidden. She listened closely for howling in the distance--as long as she heard it, she was safe. "Will I be seeing you again soon?" she asked romantically.
"Nope," Dolohov replied flatly. "I've got what I wanted."
"We could do it again sometime," Tonks suggested, blinded by his good looks and indifferent attitude. "We've been together for a month now, and I know, because that was the day my Aunt Bellatrix killed her husband and my mum." Dolohov shook his head.
"I meant when we were talking. You know, about the Aurors." Tonks's eyes widened with anger.
Finally, she came to the sensible realization. "You used me!" she screamed as Dolohov headed for the door. "You said you loved me, when all this time you were just collecting information for your Death Eater pals! And now you're just telling me, as if I can do nothing to stop you!" Dolohov shrugged. "You little bloody--" Tonks reached for her wand from on top of the dresser, pointing it at him with rage, her expression contorted in a deranged, raving fit. She couldn't believe she'd been so naive as to believe his lies.
"That's life, kid," he said coldly. He opened his mouth to say one more thing, but Tonks beat him to it:
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" It felt good. Her body shook with surprise as she prodded at the earthly remains of Dolohov, feeling empowered. She mentally kicked herself for taking joy in a fellow human laying lifeless on the floor of her apartment, but the satisfaction of acting on impulse overwhelmed any other feeling. The sun peeked over the horizon in the distance--Remus would be there soon, back from wherever he happened to have been rampaging about--and so would Aurors.
"Ain't he the cheerful murderer," an Auror chuckled, pointing his lit wand at Remus Lupin. "That's got to be a new record for us. Killing to confession in an hour flat!"
"Well, a man's got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?" Remus said casually. "I was coming home and I noticed this burgular climbing through the window, with my wife sleeping in there like an angel, so I went upstairs and dueled with him. It wasn't until the first curse was fired that Nymphadora even opened her eyes."
"Uh-huh," the Auror commented.
"Supposing--just supposing he had violated her, you know what I mean, violated?" Remus continued. "That would have been horrible. Think what would have happened if I'd have gone for a drink with the guys instead of coming straight home."
"At seven A.M?" the Auror asked, frowning. "Name of deceased: Antonin Dolohov."
"Dolohov? How could he be a burgular?" Remus wondered aloud. "She lied to me! Dolohov is--was--a Death Eater, Aurors have been on his trail for days! If anything, she should have arrested him!"
"You mean you weren't present at the time of the murder?" the Auror asked suspiciously.
"She had him covered in a sheet and telling me her story about how he was a burgular! Bollocks! Tonks, why didn't you arrest him?"
Tonks jumped up in shock. "You git! You disloyal husband! You promised you'd stick!" she yelled.
"According to security footage, she's been arresting him three times a week for the past month," the Auror went on. Tonks was a mess, sobbing and having a total breakdown. "There's evidence of the curse in her wand!"
"It's true, I killed him, but he was really trying to burgle me!" she pleaded.
"Well, that's bloody hell not what it looks like," Remus muttered, walking out of the room. The Aurors grabbed Tonks and led her down the steps to a flying prison escort car as sha flailed in response.
"Yeah, I killed him, and I'd kill him again, the git!" she screamed, struggling to wrench herself from their grasp.
A second Auror rolled his eyes. "Once was enough, you little basket case. Scrimgeour is willing to use the maximum penalty."
Shrinking in fear, Tonks stuttered, "Wha--what do you mean, 'maximum penalty'?"
The Auror slammed the car door, causing her to jump in her chained seat. "Take her to Azkaban, and keep her quiet! I've got better things to do than listen to these rantings of hers." He got into the front seat, while Tonks struggled with the magic chains that held her in place.
"What the hell do you mean? What's the maximum penalty?" she demanded. The Aurors laughed evilly. If you hadn't witnessed the whole situation, you might mistake the Ministry for a corrupt dictatorship.
"Dementors."