Nihelego yawns as she sits comfortably on a bean bag in a dimly lit room. Her eyes are focused on the television set, which was showing a soap opera.
"Don't let love ruin your life, Jessica!" Nihilego shouts drowsily, pointing at a Gardevoir on screen.
Suddenly, knocking can be heard.
Nihilego groans, visibly irritated. "Ugh! I didn't expect visitors?" She huffs, switching off the television with a remote. "Just when we're getting to the good part…"
Nihilego glumly floats to the door. She reluctantly opens the door to reveal a small purplish creature.
Even when the door was opened, the creature continued to knock… accidentally hitting Nihilego in the process.
Nihilego growls, slapping the creature's hand with a tentacle. "Poipole?! Why are you here?!"
"Weeell. Arce- errrm… the producers are… calling us," Poipole explains vaguely.
Nihilego frowns, crossing her tentacles. "What do you mean? I don't want another show! I have a splitting headache!"
"Nihilego, be more positive about this. This might be a promotion." Poipole suggested. He sighs, shaking his head. "You became more grouchy after us Ultra Beasts all moved here in the Hall of Legends."
"... fine… but I won't like it," grumbled Nihilego.
"Yay! Let's go!"
Poipole quickly grabs one of Nihilego's tentacles, pulling her into the hallway.
The spacious room is strangely empty.
Poipole and Nihilego made their way to a large door at the end of the hall.
Nihilego pales as she stares at it.
"It's been one year…" Nihilego murmurs nervous. She gulps in worry, turning to Poipole. "P-Poipole, I'm not sure about this."
"Don't worry. Arceus is lenient," assured Poipole. Silence for three seconds before Poipole continues, smiling sheepishly. "Most of the time…"
Nihilego yelps as the door suddenly opens.
A loud and feminine voice roars from within. "Nihilego. Poipole. You may enter." Despite the high volume, the voice's tone is eerily calm.
Nihilego is sweating as she enters first. Poipole follows suits.
The Ultra Beast duo found themselves in a bright office. A familiar deity sat in front of them.
"Arceus…" Nihilego managed to croak out.
"Nihilego… Poipole. I have a small favor to ask of you" Arceus said with a serious expression. "Yveltal was supposed to host a show… but… something bad happened… so… we needed to switch hosts. You two were randomly chosen to host."
"Randomly chosen?" Nihilego queried in disbelief, tentacles outstretched. "This is too coincidential."
Arceus deadpans. "Nihilego. It was chosen through raffle. I made sure that no rigging would happen… Pheromosa and Buzzwole tried to replace all of the slips with slips with only their name on… and Volcarona tried to burn them… but in the end, it was all fair. You two were chosen."
Nihilego sighs in defeat, bowing her head in disappointment. "Fine. There's no use arguing with a god."
Arceus quickly smiles widely. "Great then!" She takes out a folder from under her desk. "Here… it's information regarding the show."
Nihilego grabs the folder from the legendary. She slowly flips it open. She begins to read its contents. "Hmmm… huh?" She looks up from the folder, furrowing a brow. "The setting is a school?"
"A school? That sounds so weird yet cool at the same time!" Poipole grinned, clapping his hands enthusiastically.
"Ahem… well, Giratina and I worked hand in hand to decide the theme for the show… it was down to a vacation island, a school, a church and a rundown mall," explained Arceus. "The rundown mall that was supposed to be the setting had some scandals so that was out. The church is well… not satisfying… and the vacation island is being rented out so the school is the only option."
"What kind of school though?" Poipole asked curiously.
"A conveniently abandoned school near Mauville City," answered Arceus.
"Conveniently?" Nihilego quizzed, narrowing her eyes. "That sounds suspicious… and after a Yveltal incident too."
Nihilego deadpans. "Did Yveltal kill all of the people there?"
"Almost all of them!" sputtered Arceus, starting to get slightly nervous. She clears her throat. "Ahem. I almost lost my composure right there but… yes… Yveltal is the reason why the school is abandoned."
"Ooh! I wonder what we'll find there!" beamed Poipole with a wide grin plastered on his face.
Nihilego mentally gags on Poipole's painful optimism.
"It's good to see someone enthusiastic. That's the mindset hosts these days need," Arceus commended the little Ultra Beast.
Poipole smiles sheepishly. "Thanks."
"Ahem… now that everything's settled, you two may now leave!" Arceus then commanded with his loud roaring voice.
"What about the contestants?" Nihilego questions, crossing her tentacles. "We can't have a show without contestants."
"Don't worry about that," assured Arceus with a nod. "I already had Xurkitree post application forms for the show on the Internet… and we've got a lot of applicants. Aside from that, you also have sixteen contestants from your last show… I chose nine of them by random… and each sent them an email asking them to gather at the school."
Nihilego shudders with a look of uncertainty. "Ugh. You called nine of them? It gives me bad memories."
"Why though?" Poipole curiously asks. "Total Pokemon Ultra Space ended on a good note!"
"... after that… a month after that… Guzzy and I had another show…" mumbled Nihilego, looking down at the floor gloomily.
Arceus' eyes widened. "Total Pokemon Ultra Vacation?! That ended very quick. It didn't even start yet!"
"Yeah… Uhhh… the vacation island… is strangely storing illegal drugs and… we were both arrested… Guzzlord… he used up all of the profit from TPUS just to bail me out but there weren't enough to save him too…" Nihilego recounted.
"Wait… the vacation island? That sounds strange," Arceus said. "There are no drugs there… so why?"
"Oooh! Conspiracy!" Poipole cheerily said.
Nihilego sighs. "I'm doing my best… to forget it… but I can't dwell on that forever." Nihilego musters a smile. "Let's get this show on the road!"
Arceus smiles as the two both exit the office. "I think that this show will get well."
Her eyes then shift to the computer on her desk. A tab is open… showing… a mugshot of a Gumshoos.
"Hmmm…"
-000-
Two Week Later
-000-
Nihilego and Poipole are now at the abandoned school near Mauville.
The abandoned school's walls are painted maroon. And above the gates is a large insignia of the school.
Nihilego casually waves at the camera. "Hello there. I'm Nihilego and this is my co-host, Poipole."
Poipole suddenly walks on-screen. He rapidly waves at the camera. "Hello world! Hi Buzzwole! Hi Pheromosa! Hi Big Bro! Hi Xurkitree! Hi Ce-"
Nihilego quickly covers his mouth, rolling her eyes. "Sheesh! If you say hello to everyone, it'd take a century for this episode to finish."
"Awww! I just wanna say hi!" Poipole pouts, removing Nihilego's tentacle from his mouth. "It's called being nice!"
"Whatever. Let's just get on with this." Nihilego said, turning back to the camera. She smiled weakly. "Weell. This show is also the second season of the Ultra Series! As you can see, there have been… a cast change. Poipole's now my partner in crime."
"Hiiiiii!" Poipole chirped, waving at the camera with a toothy grin.
"Ahem! This show will be called… Total Pokemon Ultra University!" Nihilego smiled as an ounce of energy came back to her. "It will have a lot of new mechanics that I'm sure will spice up the game!"
She then wiggles her tentacle at the camera. "And strat bots, please beware… there won't be any definite teams so overstrategizing would just screw you over!"
A yellow taxicab then pulls over in front of the hosts.
"Ooh! It looks like our first contestant is here!" Poipole beamed, clapping his hands enthusiastically.
A grouchy Comfey steps out of the taxicab. The Comfey growls as she slams the cardoor shut. "This is the last time I'm taking a fucking cab! They're far too pricy for my liking!"
The taxicab then quickly drives away.
"Our first contestant and first returnee from Ultra Space is flat former bitch in sheep's clothing that hates a certain meteor, Comf!" announced Nihilego, pointing at the Comfey.
Comf scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Who ya calling flat? I have lots of personality! Lots!"
"Well… for most of first season… you were kinda just nice," explained Nihilego, rubbing that back of her head sheepishly.
Comf growls, annoyed with Nihilego's words. "Are you implyin' I'm boring?! I hate it when someone says that!"
"Wow… you changed a lot over a course of one year," commented Nihilego, sweating a bit.
"This is the real me, doofus!" Comf hissed at the host. "I was just pretendin' last season but this time, I'm not playing dumb!"
"She's mean…" Poipole whimpers as he hid behind Nihilego. "I don't like her…"
"You don't like me? ME?! I'm fucking adorable! What's not to like?" Comf snarls, facing Poipole.
She turns back to Nihilego, calming down a tad bit. " On another note… who's the new guy I shouted at one second ago? And where's the fat dude?"
"Uhh… the new guy is my new co-host, Poipole and Guzzlord's… chilling, I guess?" Nihilego answered.
"Tch. Okay then. Though, I'm surprised that this crappy show got a sequel." Comf remarked with a scowl.
"Yveltal killed people and we were chosen by a random draw!" Poipole explained, strangely casual throughout. It seems that after one minute with Comf, Poipole got used to her and wasn't scared anymore.
"I see." Comf then chuckles. "Hehe. Good thing then. Cause I'm ready to go and win the prize!" She turns to Nihilego. "What's the prize again?"
"Ten million Poke, lifetime supply of poffins and a house," replied Nihilego.
"Wowie! That's a lot of Poke! That's enough for me to go ditch the island!" Comf is now beaming with happiness. However, it quickly dissipitates. "I hate the island. I hate everyone there…"
"Weell, use that as motivation for you to win," suggested Nihilego, crossing her tentacles.
"Well of course! No one can compare to me!" Comf boasted with a determined smirk.
"Uh. Don't be too confident… since the next contestant is here!" Nihilego announced a really long limo pulls up, dropping off a Mawile, wearing bright red boots. However, the Mawile looked… off.
"Ale-" started Nihilego.
The Mawile abruptly interrupt the host. "Dearie, it's Napstaton."
The Mawile's uniqueness suddenly became clear. He was a-
"A cyborg Mawile?!" Comf shouted in surprise, eyes bulging as she stared at the new arrival.
"Darling~. Don't call me a cyborg Mawile. I'm still a Mawile… just more fabulous!" chirped Napstaton, suddenly posing dramatically.
"Why would a cyborg even want to compete? They can do everything!" Comf complained.
"Well. Everything has it cons. Besides, I competed to advertise myself aaaanddd-" Napstaton pauses for dramatic effect. He poses again with a confident smile. "-to make this show two hundred percent more fabulous!"
"Ew," scoffed Comf, disgusted by the Mawile's constant posing.
"Tut tut tut. You're in no place to criticize. After all, you're just horrible. Your presence reeks of negativity." Napstaton chided the fairy type. "You don't add anything to the show. You just bring it down!~"
Comf growls at the new arrival. "Hey! I add somethin'! I'm fucking interesting and I have a winning strategy!"
Napstaton shakes his head in disappointment. "I know that you're not fabulous like me… but at least act more mature… from the way you're acting… you're being quite immature."
"I'm mature! Have you even watched last season?! I'm the star of the show!" Comf argued, face turning red with rage.
"Luckily for me, the only shows I watch are the shows I'm in! I would probably malfunction seeing you in your awful glory," Napstaton replied with a singsong voice.
Comf is now at a loss for words. She grits her teeth before thinking up a reply. "You're not only a cyborg… but you're rich?! This is unfair! Less fortunate people like me should be the people winning these shows! I mean, Juvia won last season and she's fucking loaded!"
"Darling~, I'm not here to win~ I'm here to make this show fabulous~" Napstaton mused with a smile.
"Damn… I like him already." Nihilego whispers to Poipole as they watch the two argue. Poipole nods in agreement.
"Sooo, I'll be going now, darling~" Napstaton said as she struts to the two hosts, leaving Comf speechless.
"You're fabulous…" Poipole complimented the Mawile with a smile.
"I know, Darling~" Napstaton giggles with a knowing look.
A red truck then pulls over seconds later, dropping off a familiar Whimsicott before speeding off.
"Hello everyone!" The Whimsicott greeted with a determined smile. "You're all looking at the future winner of this show!"
The Whimsicott's smile weakens as she rubs the back of her head sheepishly. "Ace couldn't come so I came in his stead!"
"Well, we'll enjoy your presence, Ashley… since at least you're mature… unlike Comf," Nihilego said bluntly.
"I heard that!" Comf growls, gritting her teeth.
Nihilego ignores Comf's remarks as she continues to face the Whimsicott. "Do you believe that you can win this now that Ace is out of the picture?"
"I made it to the finale last time," pointed out Ashley, feistily crossing her arms. "I got third… but this time, I'm making my way all the way to the top!"
"Hmmm… Darling~, that Focus Band looks fabulous." Napstaton then commented on Ashley's fashion sense.
Ashley smiles at the Mawile. "Thanks for that! Even Ace doesn't compliment my fashion sense."
"That's because he does not understand what is fabuolous or what is not," explained Napstaton, posing once more.
"Uhhh… what's with the posing?" Ashley asked, slightly surprised by Napstaton's spontaneous posing.
"It's called being fabulous, Darling~" answered Napstaton with a cute giggle.
Ashley didn't reply.
Comf rudely snickers. "The poses aren't fabulous, right? Ashley, we were friends so you'll understand me, right?"
Ashley shrugs. "I dunno. I actually like the poses. It's what he says…" Ashley suddenly makes an awkward hand gesture. "Fabulous!"
"Thanks, Darling~. Every compliment directed to me makes this show absolutely positively fabulous~" Napstaton simpered in a sing-song tone.
Ashley smiles warmly at the Mawile. "Wow! Your energy is so overwhelming that it's really cool!"
Comf scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Don't waste your time with that heartless beast. He's a cyborg! Things known to be really heartless? They don't even feel any emotions! To makes matters worse, he's rich! The rich are heartless people!"
Ashley deadpans. "Wow. Comf, don't overreact. Napstaton seems like a nice guy."
"No, he isn't!" protested Comf, drooling a bit. "He's sassy as fuck and says Darling~ so much!" She agressively points at the Mawile. "She's also very annoying."
"Don't listen to her. She just has a negative outlook in life and she only sees me as heartless due to prejudice," countered Napstaton, strangely calm. His Venus Flytrap for hair suddenly snaps shut as he giggles. "Comf is just jealous of how fabulous I am."
"No, I'm not!" Comf growls.
Napstaton then gasps. "This non-fabulous heathen has learned how to talk? Amazing!"
Comf rolls her eyes as she turns away, grumbling to herself. Just then, a familiar fedora-donning Crobat lands in front of the two hosts.
"It looks like Izaya has arrived!" Nihilego announced, slightly bored.
"What happened to the car that we rented out to pick you up?" Poipole asked, curiously furrowing a brow.
"Oh?" Izaya said with a nonchalant expression. He shrugs. "Nonexistent."
"What?" Poipole asked. "What do you mean by that?"
"He annoyed the fuck out of me… and he insulted Juvia…" Izaya replied nonchalantly.
"He?" Napstaton chimes in, strokiny his chin.
"The driver of the car." Ashley whispered to the Mawile with an unfazed expression.
Napstaton just nods in reply.
Comf scoffs, turning to the Crobat. "Oh great! The rich batty loon is back?! Just fucking great! Very horrible decision, producers! He's fucking rich! He should leave first, people!"
"... you should be thankful that I'm in a g-" Izaya warned Comf.
However, Izaya's warning is interrupted by Comf. "I hope Juvia isn't here too! She already fucking won a season! She doesn't deserve to return. Besides, she's so stupid that I think she forgot how to br-"
Izaya's expression darken as he eerily floats over to the Comfey.
"Comf… you shouldn't have said that. Juv-"
"Nope!" Nihilego chimes in with a frown. "No medevacs this season so please try not to injure each other!"
Izaya sighs as he sneers at Comf. "You're lucky to be alive… for now." Izaya flies away from the Comfey.
"Oh salutations, Ashley." Izaya stops by the Whimsicott to greet her, tipping his fedora. Shortly after, he flies away.
Ashley blinks with a weak smile. "Woah. After a year, I forgot how intense yet collected Izaya could be… and seeing it again after so long feels nice."
Napstaton nods in agreement. "I concur, Darling~. That was fabulous!"
Ashley gave him an awkward look. "You think fights are fabulous?"
"No no. You must have misunderstood. I only think fights involving Comf are fabulous." Napstaton explained.
Meanwhile, Comf is now close to tears. She turns around, whimpering. Izaya must've scared her too much.
Nihilego hoarsely chuckles. "Hehe. Good old fashioned violence. Good for stirring up drama, amirite?"
"I disagree." Poipole said with a disappointed expression. "Drama can begin without anyone getting hurt!"
"Lol how?" Nihilego queried the smaller Ultra Beast.
"With pacifism and debates and emotional struggles!" explained Poipole, clasping his arms. "It helps everyone's emotional growths."
"He does have a point. I don't think I want violent drama." Ashley agreed. She shudders as she reminisces. "Poor Ace…"
"Is he doing alright?" Izaya asked, regaining his composure after lashing out at Comf.
"He's doing fine!" Ashley answered with a smile. "But… he's got a fear of heights now! And… he's afraid of Meowzer too." She growls. "Ugh Meowzer. Why of all the people… it had to be Ace?!"
"By chance, Ashley," explained Izaya, tipping his fedora. He growls. "But… if she hurted Juvia…" He chuckled stiffly. "Let's just say that she's go to sleep permanently."
Ashley smiles weakly. "You must really love Juvia."
Izaya deadpans. "Of fucking course, I love Juvia. She means everything to me."
"I know I know," sputtered Ashley, smiling nervously.
Coincidentally, another car arrives, dropping off a Staraptor before driving away.
"Sora! Welcome to the show!" Nihilego greeted the new arrival.
The Staraptor smirks. "Thanks for the introduction for I'll be the one winning this!"
"What makes you say that?!" Ashley gruffly asked, cocking a brow.
The Staraptor rolls her eyes. "I have the smarts and the strengh required to win."
"I doubt that," said Izaya with a frown. "You're just acting foolish and too cocky."
Sora sighed in defeat, crossing her wings. "Fine… I may be acting a tad bit cocky but at least I have the skills and confidence to back my claims." Sora flashes a determined expression. "After all, I am the best battler in Eterna Forest!"
"Well Sora, you're in Hoenn now. There are many people more powerful than you," Ashley explains, clenching her fists. "And also! I'm good at battling myself."
Sora smirks at the Whimsicott. "Then… I'll have a good time competing with you."
"Ooh! Is this a rivalry forming right in front of me?! Oh, the drama, darlings!" Napstaton giggles, striking another pose. "At this rate, this show would quickly go down in history as a Napstaton classic~"
As Sora walks to the others, she trips on a rock. "Oof!" She growls as she propped herself up. "Stupid rock! That almost broke my leg!"
"Oh dear! If that happened, you might be at risk!" Napstaton gasped.
Sora rolls her eyes. "Save it. I'm fine!" Sora smirks as she stood up. "One pebbles isn't enough to defeat me!"
"Maybe two pebbles then?" Ashley suggested snarkily.
"Haha. Very funny. You do know that you're weak against me." Sora pointed out, rolling her eyes.
"And you're weak against small pebbles," retorted Ashley, smiling playfully.
Sora smirks as she continues to walk over to the others. "This game just got way more fun that what I expected."
Meanwhile, Comf continued to sulk far away from the others. Poipole approachers her with a curious expression.
"Is something wrong?" Poipole asked the fairy type.
"Everything," grumbled the Comfey, not even bothering to look at the co-host. "The whole world is against me. They would rather support Izaya, a filthy ass murder… rather than me, a compassionate soul!"
"Maybe if you try to be positive, everyone would try to tolerate you?" suggested Poipole, tilting his head.
Comf grumbled to herself, turning away from the co-host. Poipole sighs, shaking his head before walking away.
Just then, a baby blue van drives by, dropping off a Marill before speeding away.
The Marill looked… preoccupied. Her eyes look blank and devoid of emotion. She seems to be jotting down notes on a cutest pink notebook. She seems to be murmuring somethig to herself as she took down notes.
She walks to the hosts, one hand outstretched. Nihilego instinctively shook her hand.
"Azure Winston. Fifteen years of ages. Future winning of Total Pokemon Ultra University," droned the Marill, unblinking.
"Confident much?" Sora scoffs, crossing her wings.
Azure then displays her first emotions on the show: annoyance. She scoffs back at the Flying type. "Oh please. I took notes about every contestant in this show and according to my notes-" Azure's eyes shift to her notebook. She flips it to one page, mumbling to herself before looking up. "-you're a confident battle bird from Eterna Forest who's competitive. According to my notes-" Azure flips the notebook to one page once more, mumbling to herself. "-you have great physical prowess. Might be the strongest female on the show." She chuckles stiffly, closing her notebook."However, I am the smartest here. I eat As for breakfast." She awkwardly smiles gooofily. "As… mmmmmmm"
Sora blinks in confusion. "Woah woah woah. You were talking too fast but did you assume that you're smarter than us here?"
"Well, of course." Azure chirps with a confident grin.
"Ahem! Darling~, I'm the host of a fabulous quiz show, where I make all the questions, where only twenty percent of the masses succeed," boasted Napstaton, hairflipping. "That makes me smarter."
His hair accidentally hits Ashley in the face, who growls as she holds her face. "Ow. Napstaton, watch your hair."
"Sorry. I'm just putting this newbie in her place." Napstaton said haughtily.
"That doesn't even make any sense," scoffed Azure, matter-of-factly. "First of all, I haven't been on the show yet… if I was on it, I would've succeed. Second of all, you're also a newbie."
Napstaton rolls his eyes, keeping silent as he stood in denial that Azure actually had a fair point.
Sora frowns at the Water Type. "Well. Smarts ain't the only thing needed. You also need strength and… judging from your appearance… you have no flipping idea how to fight and have low physical abilities."
Azure blushes with a pout. She shakily speaks, obviously flustered. "I h-have some skills in combat! H-honest!"
The Marill mumbles to herself shakily walks over to the other contestants.
Ashley playfully nudges Azure. "Wow. You're only fifteen. You have guts, dude!"
"Ashley, right? I watched you on the first season…" Azure told the Whimsicott, burying her mouth beneath her doorknob.
"Really?" The Whimsicott remarked, smiling weakly.
"To be blunt, you didn't perform well," admitted Azure, slowly shaking her head. "Your team only won two challenges, in which you both underperformed in. And during the merge you flopped so hard… so it was surprising that you were at the finale. But I still like your social game. Bye!" The Marill quickly walks away.
Ashley gapes, furrowig a brow. "Uh. Thank you?"
Azure stops as she reaches Izaya. She began to drone once more.
"Izaya Kashiwagi, right? You're a strategic and physical threat. I should really watch out for you… either that or I should align with you in order to stay on your good side… seeing as you traumatized poor old Comf and I don't want the to happen to me… and I happen to be scared of you. Byyyye!"
The Marill nervously walks away.
Izaya just deadpans. "Wow."
Another car then arrives… however, it seems to be driving really slowly… its wheels are also slightly flat. It pulls over, dropping over a Bastiodon with a scowl plastered on its face. The car slowly speeds off ss the Bastiodon walked to the others.
"Sophia. Happy to have you on the show!" Nihilego greeted the fossil Pokemon.
"I wish I could say the same," scowled Sophia, stomping her feets agressively. She quickly examined the contestants that have arrived. "Hmmm. I'm slightly glad that there are more females here. Emphasis on slightly, of course! Hmm… a Mawile, Whimsicott, Marill, Staraptor and a Comfey…"
"Did you just assume my gender, Darling~?" Napstaton queried the Bastiodon, slightly irritated. "Honey, I'm male."
Sophia then gags. "Augh! I FUCKING KNEW IT! YOU REEKED OF MALE SINCE THE MOMENT I STEPPED OFF THAT CAR WITH A FEMALE DRIVER!"
"Sophia Rollans… great mental game… but really annoying…" Azure murmured, shaking in fear from the Bastiodon's outburst. "She could be a useful ally if she could get over her (reverse misogyny)... and additional facts… she's the leader of a feminazi organization…"
Sophia stomps over to the Mawile, drooling over the latter's boots. "TAKE THAT, MALE! FEMALES, ONE! MALES, ZILCH!"
Napstaton growls at her, showing his first signs of aggravation. "You just desecrated my fabulous boots, Darling~..." He chuckles stiffly before snarling at the Bastiodon in an oddly sing-song tone. "This means war, Darling~"
"Ohohoho. Our first real conflict!" Nihilego said with a weak smile. "This obvously won't end well."
"For him, obiously! FEMALES WIN BY DEFAULT!" Sophia shouted. "You should understand, Nihilego. After all, you're female and you ditched your male co-host and hired a cute female co-host!"
"I'm male." Poipole chimes in with a smile.
Sophia's eye twitched. "MALESSSSSSS!"
"Uhh… Sophia, please calm down." Ashley tried to calm down the enraged feminazi.
"Ler her be. I just want her to make herself hateable in front of everyone so she could leave early." Napstaton scoffed coldly. "She's way less fabulous than Comf."
Now back to Sophia. The Bastiodon is now stomping on the pavement so violently that it's starting to crack under intense pressure.
"AUGH! MALES! LYING TO BE FEMALES JUST TO BE FUCKING PERVS!" Sophia intoned angrily. She huffs, gesturing to Izaya. "At least the Crobat had the common decency not to be a fucking trap!"
Poipole huffs, propping his hands down to his hips. "That's rude, Sophia. It's not our fault we look feminine. I mean! A Gardevoir looking feminine doesn't mean it can't be male."
Sophia scowls, rolling her eyes. "That's because males were invented by Arceus cuz in the beginning, everyone was female!"
"I don't think that's true." Azure suddenly speaks up. "Mew was the first Pokemon and from him, all of the other Pokemon sprung from him, male and female. It's simple history, Sophia."
Sophia deadpans. "Are you betraying the female race?"
"R-race?" queried Azure, blushing in embarrassment.
"Females are a proud race!" Sophia bellowed with a proud smirk. She frowns. "But males had to exist as well… and they succeeded in ruining this world!"
"Get a reality check," scoffed Izaya, rolling his eyes.
Sophia growled. "Since I'm a female, I'm mature enough to know when to shut up!" Sophia then turns around, grumbling.
Seconds later, another vehicle arrived, dropping off a Kommo-o with a confident smirk. He slams the door shut violently, causing it to get detached. The vehicle drives away with one less door.
"Serall Serall! You're our next newbie and arrival!" declared Nihilego, shaking the Dragon type's hand.
The Kommo-o then lets out a cocky laugh before bellowing, "I'm set to win this! I'm strong!" Serall flexes his muscles before continuing. "Smart!" Serall points to his head. "And of course, charismatic with a beautiful fucking face!" Serall gestured to his face.
Ashley blushed. "He sounds cocky… but he's right about some of it."
Napstaton giggles. "I concur, Darling~"
Sora rolls her eyes. "He just sounds like a overconfident dumbass."
Serall overhears that. He growls as he stomps over to the Staraptor. "What did you fucking say?! I'm a fucking athlete! I won a lot of trophies! You can't just say I'm a dumbass for no reason, you fucking fucker!"
Sophia scowled at the so-called athlete. "Don't lash out at that innocent female! She has dreams and aspirations!" She grits her teeth. "Unlike you!"
"Shaddup, fatass. You're talking to a professional athlete so watch your words!" Serall snarled at the Bastiodon.
"OH REALLY? ATHLETE SHMATHLETE! YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING MALE, WHO DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE!" Sophia lashes back.
Nihilego winces at the argument. "Oof. This is getting really annoying."
"I agree…" whimpered Poipole, sniffling. "T-this is too violent!"
"I agree. Someone should really stop this!" intoned Nihilego, deadpanning as she raised a tentacle to the sky.
Poipole did the same as he grins. "Yeah!"
"Okay. Back to idle business, dude." Nihilego yawned, crossing her tentacles.
Poipole nods in agreement. "Mmhm!"
Back to the argument, people!
"You're just a fatass who shouts everything they say." Serall growls, jabbing his finger agressively at the Bastiodon's nose.
Sophia silently growls. She clears her throat, saying something creepily calm for once. "Well Serall. At least I don't lie about myself. Your trophies and your good looks? Pffft. Your brain is merely a small pea. You can't even comprehend what I'm saying since t's too fast."
Serall blinks, startled by Sophia switching to tranquil fury. "Uhhhhhh… crap. I don't get what you just said." He smiles awkwardly. "But who cares! I'm a fucking athlete!"
Sophia deadpans. "I hate you…" Her tranquil behavior then dissipates. "IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYIHATEYOU!"
"I definetely understand that! Why? Cause I have especially good hearing which helps me in being a professional athlete!" Serall boasted, sneering at the Bastiodon.
Before Sophia could respond, Sora restrains her, strangely stronger than the Rock and Steel type.
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing? I was about to wipe this male's ass on the pavement!" Sophia screeched, struggling to escape Sora's tight grip.
"You're getting way too intense!" Sora growls, sweating profusely. "You might actually crush the pavement."
"I don't care! I need to prove a point to this brainless athlete!" huffed Sophia.
"Brainless? I'm a fucking athlete! Even my brain has muscles and it totally exists!" Serall bellowed, face turning redder.
"AUGH! YOU'RE THE WORST KIND OF MALES! COCKY, ARROGANT, SNOOTY AND SO FUCKING DENSE! THIS IS WHY FEMALES ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DESERVE TO LIVE!" Sophia seethed.
"Comf exists," jested Ashley with a weak smile.
Comf turns to the Whimsicott with a scowl. "I thought that we're friends?!"
"Were friends, Comf. You're kinda a full blown bitch now," admitted Ashley, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.
"Bitch?! Weeeeell! You haven't seen me full bitch mode!" Comf threathened.
Far away from the arguing parties, Izaya floats alone. Azure is near him but the Marill won't even give him a glance.
Izaya frowns. "Why do I feel that I'm the sanest one on this show again?"
Thankfully, the arguing stopped as another car arrives, dropping off a familiar Trubbish. It was Luther, the trashy inventor who landed himself in second place last season, only losing against Juvia.
Luther politely waves at everyone with a weak smile. "Hello everyone. Uhhh… since there are new pe- people I haven't met before, I guess I'll have to introduce myself." Luther clears his throat before continuing to introduce himself. "I'm Luther! And if you need any help, I can help you out!"
Ashley cheerily waves at the Poison Type. "Hi Luther!"
Luther smiled sheepishly as he waves back. "Hi Ashley." He looks around. "Oh! It looks lime I wasn't the last one here!"
"Well of course," drawled Nihilego, tentacles on her hips. "We arranged everyone's order of appearance judging by personality, information and etcetera. That's why Comf came first. We know everything about her. Her personality is sooo straightforward. And she's a good shit stirrer."
"I'm offended, you tentacle fuck!" Comf growled at the host. She then turn around to continue brooding.
"Wow… Comf looks and sounds so… negative," commented Luther, twiddling his fingers, shifting his eyes nervously. He chuckles nervously. "Maybe I can help her."
"Don't try. I already tried but Comf is too… self-absorbed that she won't even listen to reason." Poipole warned the trash bag.
Luther sighs as he somberly walks to the others. "Is this because of Septh?"
Comf scowls as she turns to Luther. "Fuck no! I was always a bitch! Why would that meteor cunt ever affect me?!"
"... it's worse than I expected…" Luther mumbled to himself.
"Luther, right?" A childish voice asks. Azure walks to he Trubbish with a smile. "It's nice to see a fellow scholar."
"Uhh… not to be rude but… who are you? Are you one of the newbies?" Luther questioned, rubbing the back of his head.
Azure nodded, flipping her notebook open to take down notes. "Azure Winston. Fifteen years of age. I'm a straight A student…" She strokes her cheek with an awkward smile. "... well… almost all of them. I failed gym. I'm not adept physically…"
Serall then started to snicker rudely "Hahaha! Puny weakling! Stand back and learn from a true ath-"
Ashley nonchalantly slapped him. "Ugh. Stop being annoying. Sophia was right."
"I'm always right!" Sophia huffs with a proud smirk.
"~Oh snap! Serall just go obliterated! I hope Comf gets evasciscerated! She dies a lot. I'm a roboooot!" Napstaton suddenly sang, surprising nearly everyone.
"Woah dude. That came out of nowhere," exclaimed Sora, blinking.
Izaya shrugged. "Meh. The guy is a tv icon after all."
Napstaton giggles. "Weeell. Singing is one of my skills. Other than that, my skills include… well everything!"
"Learn hum- humility." Luther chided with a weak smile.
Azure groans as she clears her throat, interrupting the conversation. "Ahem? I was talking to Luther before you all rudely interrupted me!"
Serall rolls his eyes. "Well sorry if you wanna cry at the beautiful sight of a professional ath-"
Ashley slaps him again. "Stop with that."
"I'm… proud of my little girl. They all grow up too fast," exclaimed Sophia, crying tears of joy.
Ashley face-palms.
"Ahem! You guys interrupted me again!" Azure huffed, annoyed. "I just want a minute to talk!"
Awkward silence.
Azure smirks as she nods. "Thank you! As I was saying, I'm not phy-"
"It looks like the next contestant is here!" interrupted Nihilego, to Azure's annoyance.
The host was right as a car pulls over. A Roserade smirks as it exits the car. The car then drives away.
"Former intern Vivian is now a competitor!" Nihilego revealed with a weak smile.
Vivian smiles wildly, taking out a button. "Thanks for that simple intro but I prefer my intros to be… explosive!"
Vivian giggles as she presses the button.
An explosion can be heard from nearby.
"What w-was that?!" Luther exclaimed, shuddering in fear.
Luther yelps in fear as burning tires rolls by.
Vivian then cackles in glee. "Ahahahaha! It actually worked!" Her wide smile quickly switches to a weak smile. "Sorry poor driver… I didn't actually expected that to work."
"Did she just… kill someone in front of us?" Poipole gasped.
"Nah! The driver's just gravely injured! Injured! But totally alive!" Vivian assured everyone. Vivian yelps as a pair of sunglasses land in front of her. "Oh boy… oh boy!"
"Woah woah woah. Who are you?" Azure asked the Roserade. She narrowed her eyes. "You had no info online… like Izaya and some others… but unlike Izaya, you never had too much screentime… so I have no flipping idea of your game? Are you trying to scare us by killing someone? Like what M-Meowzer said?"
Vivian blinks before returning in-character. "Who am I? WHO AM I?! Well, I'm Chaos! The Spreader of Evil! Everyone's worst nightmare!"
"Haha. Very funny. My worst nightmare isn't a plucky little Roserade," scoffed Sora, rolling her eyes.
Vivian whimpers, shaking as she pointed at the Staraptor. "W-well! You haven't s-seen me in action yet. K-killing that poor poor man… that's just the first nefarious d-deed I'll commit in this game!"
Vivian cackles again, this time shakily. "M-muahahahaha!"
"Stop laughing!" growled Serall, clenching a fist. "It's insulting to a profes-" Ashley slaps him again.
"S-sorry!" whimpered Vivian, switching to her real persona. She slowly trudged to Izaya, hugging herself.
She smiles weakly as she waves at the Crobat. "Nice to see you again, Izaya. Even though, our last meeting was short."
"Oh hello, Vivian." Izaya replied, smiling? The Crobat was strangely amicable, confusing the others.
Azure blinks in confusion. "Huh? But! Izaya and Vivian only had a heartwarming interaction on one episode last season! Why are they so close?"
"I'm confused too…" Ashley murmurs, slapping Serall, who is continuing to scream in protest.
Vivian then poses dramatically, pointing at the sky. "Greetings aside! Chaos will take this competition ny storm! Muahahahaha!"
Another explosion can be heard nearby. A loud scream can be heard. "Aaaaah! Again?! This is the second time this day this car exploded!"
Vivian gasps. "Oh my! The driver is alive! But horribly injured! Muahahahaha! My plan worked!"
"Wow… you're weird," commented Comf, sneering at the Roserade. "And you chose to be friends with that scum, Izaya?"
Vivian blushes, twiddling her fingers. "D-don't say that to Izaya. He's nice and gentle."
"Nice and gentle. He looks really shady and prickly!" snarled Serall, still flinching as Ashley continjed to slap him. He then turns to Ashley. "And please fucking stop slapping me!"
"Nope." was Ashley's reply.
"Yes Ashley! Slap that male to death!" said Sophia with a malicious grin, still struggling to escape Sora, whose grip began to weaken.
Vivian on the other hand, frowned at Serall's words. "You don't even know Izaya!"
Before Serall can reply, Ashley slaps him rapidly. "Ow ow ow! I'm a prof- ow- essional- ow- athlete!"
"You're a jerk," Ashley said to the dragon.
Just then, a black car drives by. A Vikavolt flies out with a tired expression before the car drove away.
"Breon, welcome back to the show!" Nihilego greeted, clasping her tentacles. "You changed a lot, I presume."
"... I guess…" murmured Breon, eyes shifting to the side. The Vikavolt somehow looks less angry… and more tired. Large eye bags are forming under his eyes and the Vikavolt look scruffy and lonely.
Breon silently flies to the other contestants, next to Ashley. Breon quickly noticed that the Whimsicott was slapping Serall.
"What are you doing..?" Breon queries the Whimsicott in a raspy voice.
"He's really annoying and arrogant!" Ashley huffs, turning to the bug.
"I'm a professional athlete! I hold supremacy over you so stop it!" Serall snarled, starting to cry a bit. "It fuckig hurts"
"Serves you right!" Sophia chuckled, almost released from Sora's grip.
Napstaton nods relucantly. "I agree with the… feminazi. Serall was annoying and arrogant. His behavior is mentally taxing."
"B-but, we shouldn't just let Ashley hurt him right? You agree with me Breon?" Luther said, covering his eyes. "I don't condone violence even if the person did deserve it!"
Breon shrugs. "Meh. If they say Serall's annoying, I guess it can be tolerated."
Luther sighs. "I wish I was stronger to stop this…"
Comf eerily giggles as she shuffles her feet to Breon. "Hey Breon! We're friends, right?*
Breon turns to the lei, deadpanning. "You're a bitch."
"AUGHHHHH! I hate everyone!" declared Comf, floating away to brood again.
"Wow. Comf is bitchier now," commented Breon with a blank expression.
Ashley nods in agreement. "Yep. I actually thought that she mellowed out over time… but I was wrong." She groans, annoyed. "Ugh! I owe Ace fifty Poke now?"
"What happened?" Breon asks.
"Well, Ace said to me that Comf didn't change and got worse… and I countered him and so the boring bet began," explained Ashley. "Ugh! Losing Ace leaves a bitter taste on my mouth."
She shakes her head, smiling weakly. "How about you?"
Breon sighed. "I was homeless after the show… my uhh… mother died."
"I offer you my condolences." Ashley murmurs.
"Poppy offered me a place to stay, saying that she understands me. I'm still living with her… until I can get back on my feet. Also, Poppy and Junior also broke up but Poppy's still cheery." Breon continued.
"Damn… I miss Poppy, to be honest," said Ashley. "She's nice and really understanding… but she has flaws like a real Pokemon!"
Breon and Ashley exchanged a smile… but the moment is interrupted by Sora, who's face is turning really pale from restraining Sophia. "Ashley! Help me with Sophia! She's about to escape!"
"Sure." Ashley answered. She stopped slapping Serall, who signs in relief, then she approached the Staraptor.
Ashley holds Sophia from the front with a weak smile. "Let's do this, Sora!"
"Yep!" Sora said in reply with a curt nod.
Meanwhile, Azure stands in the background, mumbling to herself. Izaya and Vivian stood next to her.
"Breon… hmmm… physically strong. Emotionally weak. Reminder to stay on his good side. A momma's boy. Has a soft soft for Clay?" Azure murmurs to herself.
Vivian walks to her, furrowing a brow. "I didn't know that you're a villain too? Ahahaha! But no one can best Chaos!"
Azure turns to her, quickly closing her notebook. Her lip quivers as she spoke. "V-villain? Oh no! I w-was merely planning my s-strategy for the game!"
"That's what a villain would say!" Vivian said with the most fakest evil smile you would ever see.
"You're j-just a fake villain!" Azure retorted.
Vivian gapes at Azure's words. She shakes her head. "Lies. Whatever. Chaos will keep her eyes on you." She makes a 'Wathing you' hand gesture as she moonwalks back to Izaya.
"W-what?" Azure croaks out shakily.
Moments later, a limo arrives, dropping off a Sylveon. The Sylveon smiles at everyone as he carries his luggage with his ribbons.
"Hello everyone! I'm Quentin! I hope that we can work together well!" The Sylveon introduced himself, walking to the contestants.
Nihilego blinks, startled. "Woah… you just did my job for me."
"Well of course! I'm a host just like you!" mused Quentin, settling his luggage down. He chuckles… however, it sounded quite… eery. "Well… used to be. I quit! So it's nice competing in a show like what K used to host."
"Hmmm… I can't put my tentacle on it but… you look familiar," admitted Nihilego, tapping her chin in suspicion.
Quentin's cheery and naive demeanor slightly cracks as he narrows his eyes. "What ever could you mean by that, Tenta- I mean, Nihilego."
"Nothing…" Nihilego lied, sweating a bit nervously.
"He looks like the type of guy who'll nickname a Skuntank, Smelly," shivered Poipole, frightened of the Sylveon for some reason.
Quentin chuckled. "Hahaha. You guys are hilarious. I'll go stand with the others now!"
The Sylveon then carries his luggage to where Izaya was standing.
He waves at the Crobat. "Hey there. I hope that we can get along!"
Crobat frowns. "Sure…"
Azure watches from the sidelines, jotting down notes.
"Quentin. Sylveon. Seems to be former host. Can tend to be really creepy. Has a fakeass smile," Azure mumbles to herself. As she looks up from her notebool, she yelps upon seeig Quentin standing so close to her. "H-huh?"
"Azure, was it? I think we'll have great time together," said Quentin in a malicious tone quietly so no one can eavesdrop.
"Are y-you Quentin Joyner? The h-"
Quentin quickly covers the Marill's mouth, shaking his head. "No. I'm just a nice guy."
"Your smile is so obviously fake!" Azure scoffs, slapping Quentin's paw off of her face.
"I see…" Quentin mumbles, walking away.
Azure furrows a brow as she chews on her pencil in confusion. "What's up with him? I can't even read his face..?"
Meanwhile, Sophia is now struggling to escape for Sora andAshley's tight grip.
"You two are females, right? Then why are you stopping me?!" Sophia asked the two girls, restrainjng her.
"Because, you're delusional," Ashley explained. "And… you're too violent."
"Serall deserves my violence for being a fucker!" screeched Sophia, appaled by Ashley's words.
"Well fuck you!" Serall shouted at the Bastiodon, rubbing his bruised cheeks. "And… those slaps were painful! But this win't tarnish my reputation as a professional athlete!
"You're fucking crazy!" Sora shouts at the Kommo-o.
Breon deadpans as he spectates next to Luther. "Wow."
"I kn- know right!" Luther agreed, eyes still covered.
Breon turns away, turning to the Trubbish. "Let's uhhh… forget about that and actually talk. A nice conversation between the two of us."
"Sure," answered Luther, removing his hands from his eyes as he turns to the Vikavolt.
"How's Icy?" Breon queried.
Luther smiles weakly. "She's fine. She's also gonna compete here."
"Oh?" Breon remarked, furrowing a brow. *Do tell."
"Well… I tried talking her out of joining but she tolda me that she can handle it… thankfully, I also recieved an email so I can help her," recounted Luther, twiddling his fingers. "Hehehe. So I just told her about it today and… she was suprised."
"Wow Luther. You made a bold move. Watch your step," warned Breon. The Vikavolt then furrows a brow. "And… judging from your story, you live together now, I presume?"
Luther nodded with a wide grin. "Yep. It's a simple and happy life." His smile slightly cracks as he shuddered. "But… we're facing problems…"
"Relationship problems?" Breon queried.
Luther leans closer to Breon's ear, whispering, "Financial problems."
"Oh!" exclaimed Breon with a concerned expression. "Why don't you sell your inventions?"
"Uhh… well… materials are limited," mumbled Luther. "Icy is quite a neat freak." Luther sighed. "I guess… that's why Icy accepted…"
"I feel bad for you… I hope that you and Icy can get back on your feet after the show," expressed Breon. "I wish I can help but… I'm also in a bad spot."
"I know. I heard it while you were talking with Ashley," answered Luther guiltily. He sighs, shaking his head. "I guess… I'll have to play dirty!" He shudders. "I hope that it- it doesn't come to that. I just need enough money…"
The Trubbish then perks up. "There's still another way! I can get some trash from a nearby junkyard and use that for my inventions!"
"Good idea, dude," agreed Breon. The Vikavolt cracks a small smile. "I also want to make origami with you."
"Sure Breon!"
Seconds later, another car arrives. It drops off a Froslass before driving away.
"Icy. One of our shortspoken contestants from last season is back!" Nihilego stated, waving her tentacles.
"Hi." Icy greeted shyly. "Uhhh… I should go stand with the others, right?"
"Yep," answered Nihilego with a nod.
The Froslass then floats to Breon and Luther. Icy waves at them.
"Breon, nice to see you again. And… hi Luther. I thought that y-you were lying about returning," whispered Icy, crossing her appendages. She shakes her head, frowning. "I was really worried."
"Worry no more! I have a way to earn us some money! There might be a nearby junkyard!" Luther suggested to the Froslass.
Icy smiles weakly. "G-great. That sounds good, Luther. But despite t-that, I would like to do my best on this show."
"I understand," remarked Luther with an understanding nod.
Meanwhile, Ashley and Sora continued to restrain Sophia.
"Ugh Sophia! Why did you have to be so big?!" groaned Ashley, sweating profusely.
"I'm a Bastiodon! Bastiodon are naturally huge!" hissed Sophia. "And also, release me! I want my freedom!"
"Hahahaha! This is still funny even though it's been almost two hours. Hahahaha!" Serall mocked the Bastiodon. "That's what happens if you mess with a professional athlete!"
Ashley's left eye twitches. "Ugh! I'm almost tempted to release Sophia."
"Please don't." Sora warned. "We don't want a rampaging Bastiodon, running amok."
"I agree!" agreed Nihilego, suddenly appearin next to the group.
"What the fuck?! Where did you come from?!" Serall questioned, currently mindfucked.
Nihilego deadpanned. "Wow. You scream like a girl."
Serall blushes in embarrassment as he silently growls. "No, I don't. Professional athletes are fearless!"
Nihilego says nothing as she floats away, annoyed.
"Arceus. Even the hosts hate you," Ashley huffed at the armored dragon.
"It's called tough love," Serall scoffed in a gruff tone. "The host probably loves me and is currently worshipping a shrine for me."
"AUGHH! THIS ASSHOLE IS DISPLAYING EVERY MALE ATTRIBUTES I CAN THINK OF AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD!" Sophia growls, stopping her hind legs.
"Yeah," admitted Sora. "But, that doesn't mean we'll release Sophia though."
Meanwhile, Quentin is tapping his paws in on the pavement with a bored expression. "This is soooo boring. Azure is too boring to mess with. Izaya is too dangerous. Ashley and Sora are with Sophia, who's sounds annoying as fuck! Hmm… Serall, I guess."
The Sylveon's internal monologue is interrupted by Serall trudging towards him with a cocky expression.
"Hey Quentin, was it? Want my autograph?! I'm a professional athlete!" boasted Serall, pointing to himself.
Unbeknownst to the sellf-proclaimed athlete, a wide grin has formed on the Eeveelution's face. "We'll have a great time together."
On another hand, Napstaton decided to mingle with Azure while waiting for everyone to arrive.
"Hey, Darling~. Have you heard of me?" Napstaton cockily asks the Marill.
Azure narrowed her eyes with a frown. "Who?"
Napstaton scoffs, "~Napstaton, at you service, Darling~"
"Oh. I saw you once in a news broadcast once," murmured Azure, jotting down notes.
"You see, I'm a news reporter, cooking show expert and a musical extraordinaire~" boasted Napstaton, giggling between words. "I have a million more skills! Too many to count."
"I see," said Azure. She then mumbles to herself quietly. "Reminder, please eliminate Napstaton at early as possible. According to her, she's skillful in a million and plus skills."
Napstaton deadpans, crossing his arms. "You do know I can hear you, right?"
"Eeeep!" Azure yelped, covering her mouth, startled. "S-sorry."
At that moment, Nihilego and Poipole are talking to each other about the upcoming competition.
"Any bets on who you think will win?" Nihilego asked the smaller Ultra Beast.
Poipole shrugged. "Everyone has equal chance at winning." He then sneers. "Well… except Sophia, Serall, Quentin, Comf and that Vivian girl. They're all so mean!"
Nihilego shakes her head. "It's just the first episode. They might display some-" Nihilego then makes a rainbow above her. "- hidden depths"
"Maybe… but if they continue to be mean, I don't think they deserve to win," stated Poipole, crossing his arms. He shuddered. "If they do win, I will lose hope in monkind."
"I don't get your prejudice…" remarked Nihilego. "You have some messed up black and white mentality."
"Sorry." mumbled Poipole with a blank expression. He then grins. "But I do want Luther to win! He seems nice."
Nihilego shrugged. "He made it to the finale already. He's lucky if he makes it past five eliminations."
"Have hope!" pouted Poipole, crossing his arms. "Luther has skills, friends and is really nice. No one would eliminate him!"
Nihilego sighs. "Ugh. You don't know much, do you?"
Seconds later, another luxurious car arrives, dropping off a Timburr before driving away.
Nihilego turns to the Timburr, ending her conversation with Poipole. "Clay! Welcome back! You're our final returning male contestant."
"Hi there, jellyfish," Clay greeted, gripping on a necklace with an Everstone attached. He looks around with a weak smile. "Oh! Lots of people here. Relieved that I wasn't late."
Nihilego shakes her head. "Nah. You're here on time. You didn't miss anything important."
"Good," Clay sighed in relief as he hubbled to Breon, Luther and Icy.
He smiles weakly as he waves at the group. "Hi everyone."
"Hey Clay." Breon is the first one to greet the fighting type. The Vikavolt looks uneasy as he stares at the Timburr, eyes shifting shadily.
"Hello Clay," Luther and Icy said afterwards in unison. The Froslass seems to be reading a book while Luther is tinkering with lint that he was storing in his trash bag.
Clay crouches next to Luther, furrowing a brow. "What are you building, Luther?"
"Hmmm? Oh. I actually don't know at the moment," answered Luther, shrugging. His eyes shift back to the string of lint. "Lint isn't exactly useful."
"I know you'll think of something. You're an inventor," assured Clay, clasping his hands. "I told my master about you and they give compliments." He then turns to Breon. "Even you, Breon."
"Yeah…" mumbled Breon, hiding a flush in his expression. He sighed. "Uhh… change of topic but uhhh… how's life?"
"Life's going fine!" mused Clay with a chipper smile. He then points to his necklace. "I even have a new necklace."
"Uh… what's the rock? I'm curious about that," pointed out Icy, still busy reading.
"Oh! It's an Everstone! My master told me that it prevents evolution!" explained Clay with a wide grin.
"Hmmm? Why though?" questioned Breon, narrowing his eyes.
"Uh… I dunno," shrugged Clay with a clueless expression.
Breon just sighs as he looks away. "..."
Meanwhile in the feminazi restraining squad, Sora and Ashley are starting to turn blue from fatigue.
"Sophia, stop struggling!" groaned Sora with an irritated expression. "I might get a heart attack!"
"NEVER! LONG LIVE FEMALES!" Sophia yelled with a scowl.
"But we're females, Sophia," groaned Ashley.
"YOU BETRAYED ME BY DOING THIS!" growled Sophia, sneering at the two girls. "YOU SAVED THAT FUCKING MALE FROM MY DIVINE JUDGEMENT!"
Sora groaned, "Auuuuugh!"
At the sane time, Izaya sports a nonchalant expressionn as he and Vivian approach the two hosts.
"When is this going to start?" Izaya asked nonchalantly. He frowns in tranquil fury. "Sophia, Serall and Quentin are getting on nerves."
Vivian cackles in agreement. "The bat is right! Chaos can't be a villain with those annoyances! Izaya is my sidekick, hahahaha!"
"No," stated Izaya, deadpanning.
Nihilego rubs the back of her head sheepishly before answering, "Only four contestants left. Be patient."
"I see,' nodded Izaya, flying away.
Vivian smiles weakly at the hosts. "My sidekick . Byyyyyeee!?" The Roserade then trudges after Izaya.
Nihilego face-palms. "Curse you poor willpower."
Poipole sheepishly nudges the jellyfish. "Uh… who's cooking for the contestants?"
"You." Nihilego answered flatly.
"Me?! But all I can cook is waffles or salad!" protested Poipole.
Nihilego just shrugs in response.
Moments later, another car arrives. It drops off an Alolan Vulpix before driving away.
The Ice type Vulpix approached the hosts with a face devoid of emotion.
"Atticus. Welcome to the show!" Nihilego boredly greeted the Ice type.
The Vulpix takes out a notepad then began to messily scribble on it.
He flips it over, revealing a trollface. "This is how I feel aout your half-assed greeting."
"I'm really offended!" huffed Nihilego, tentacles on her hips.
Atticus yawned, shaking his head. "Oh sorry, forgot you had feelings," He drawls sarcastically.
"Ack! Just go to the others!" Nihilego huffs.
Atticus rolls his eyes, jotting down notes in his notepad with a nonchalant expression. "Note to self. Nihilego is bipolar as fuck and is a sore loser."
"I'm not! Stop lying!" Nihilego growls, twitching furiously at the emotionless detective.
Atticus suddenly starts to laugh awkwardly, startling the hosts. "Hahahahahaha."
"That's the most saddest laugh I've ever heard," commented Poipole, twiddling his fingers.
"Whatever," drawled Atticus, walking Serall, who's now separated from Quentin.
He stands next to the Kommo-o. He then yawns loudly.
Serall twitches as he turns to Atticus. "Ugh! Your yawns sound annoying and hurt my ears so please… stop!"
"You can't stop bodily functions," chided Atticus nonchalantly.
Serall growls as he picks Atticus off the ground, strangling him. "Are you insulting my intelligence?"
Atticus just yawns in reply with a bored expression. "I'm a pacifist."
"Whatever." Serall grumbles, dropping Atticus. He walks away, not even bothering to give him another glance.
Atticus just rolls his eyes as he starts to take notes.
Second boring seconds later.
"Ugh! When is the next contestant gonna arrive?" Sora groans, struggling to restrain Sophia. "Sophia's gonna escape at this rate."
"SAND IS OMNIPOTENT. SAND IS ETHEREAL!" A boisterious voice then chimes in.
Icy closes her book, eyes narrowing. "Hu-"
A cloud of sand suddenly appears… and within it… emerged a Stoutland.
"Woah. Otis, our final male contestant is here," announced Nihilego, slightly startled. "That was a-" She coughs from the sand before continuing. "Sandy entrance, Otis."
Otis chuckles. "Well of course. Sand is what governs this world. As you can see, after we all die… we all turn back to sand."
"I thought that the dead go to heaven…" Clay queries, rubbing his head in confusion.
"Lies! Sand is the blood of life after all! We are just meat puppets… and what gives us life is sand itself!" Otis preaches with a solemn expression. He takes out a pouch, pouring some sand onto his paw.
"You must all learn the wonders of sand!" Otis hen blows the sand off his paw to the other contestants, who cough in retaliation.
"Ack! My asthma!" Comf groaned, holding her neck with an irritated expression.
Atticus flips his notepad to show a sad face.
Ashley and Sora's eyes began to water.
Strangely enough, Sophia was unaffected.
"Ha! Your sand can't stop me!" scoffed Sophia, close to escaping.
Ashley gags. "My eyes hurt."
Otis chuckles. "Isn't sand wonderful?"
Silence.
"Cough cough," Nihilego then interrupts the awkward silence.
"Ahahaha! Soon, you'll all learn!" Otis said, disappearing once again in a cloud of sand, appearing next to Azure, who yelps in fear.
"H-how did you that?! That was p-physically impossible for Stoutland! Y-you can't even learn Teleport!" cried Azure, shuddering.
Otis just deadpans. "With sand… you can do anything."
Meanwhile, a certain contestant is currently trapped in a panicly state. Napstaton is curled up into a ball. He's being carried by Breon who just shrugs.
"Whatever. He just jumped onto my open arms."
"No s-sand. N-no more sand! I can't breathe," whimpered Napstaton, sniffling on Breon, who rolls his eyes.
Icy furrows a brow. "Hmmm? You're a robot. They don't exactly breathe."
"Nonononononono." Despite Icy's facts, Napstaton still didn't calm down. He's now violently gripping on Breon.
"Ow. That actually hurts," expressed Breon with a small frown. Seconds later, Breon is now screaming. "AAAAAH! Napstaton! Stop this! You're going to kill me!"
"No sand, no sand, no sand." Napstaton continued to chant.
It's quite strange to see a usually composed tv star… reduced to a snivelling mess.
Luther and Clay both approach the Mawile to pull him off Breon.
"Napstaton, let go of Breon," huffed Clay, smiling weakly. "It hurts him more that it hurts you."
On the other side of the contestants, Azure blinks, slightly frightened as she turns to Otis.
"W-what did you do to him? He acted so calm and composed… until you arrived." Azure told the dog.
The Otis frowns at her. "I didn't do anything. Usually, my sand heals cancer not cause petty problems."
"Wut? Your sand can cure cancer?!" questioned Azure, befuddled by Otis's words. "That sounds impressive!"
Ois shrugged. "It's not that impressive. After all, sand is omnipotent. Sand is ethereal."
"Ookay," sputtered Azure, awkwardly turning away from the Stoutland.
On the other hand, Quentin decided to strike up a conversation with Atticus, who seems to be immerse in his notes.
"Yo," greeted Quentin with a wide grin. He peered over the Vulpix's shoulder to try seeing what the latter was writing down. "What'cha doing?"
Atticus frowns, as he writes down, "Leave, Quentin."
Quentin pouts. "Awww Atticus. I just wanna get close with you."
Atticus continues to write, "Leave… please. I need privacy."
"But Atticus! I thought that we had something!" Quentin said, fake crying.
Atticus rolls his eyes, writing, "Whatever. Here's my first impression of you:" Right next to the words, Atticus scribbles a trollface.
Quentin's left eye twitched as he gave up and walked away from the Vulpix.
Atticus then yawns, closing his notepad. "..."
Back to the hosts! Nihilego sighs in relief, seeing that most of the contestants have arrived.
"Two left… and they're both returning females." Poipole cheerily said to the jellyfish. "After that, we begin! Aren't you excited?!"
Nihilego shrugs. "A little. I just want to get this over with."
Just as Nihilego said that, another car arrives, dropping off someone no one wants to see again… a familiar homicidal Meowstic. The car quickly drives off as the psychic feline groggily walks over to the hosts.
"Heey Meowzer! Wel-" Nihilego pauses, narrowing her eyes. "Are you stoned again?"
The Meowstic takes out a joint, lighting it up then happily inhales the smoke. "I don't know what'cha talkin' about."
A few contestants sneered at the Meowstic, still feeling hostile after what she's done last season.
"Why is a psycho going to compete?" Ashley asked the hosts with a frown. "She pushed Ace off that building… so why is she back?"
"Blame Arceus! Geez, she's the one who randomly chose the returning cast," explained Nihilego, crossing her arms.
"I don't see what's wrong with her. She seems chill," shrugged Sora, still trying to restrain Sophia.
"Have you ever seen last season?!" Luther explained to the Staraptor, eyes bulging in fear. "She's suppressing homicidal thoughts! She should leave this show ASAP!"
"No! She's just an innocent female!" Sophia growls.
"I agree with Luther and Ashley. Meowzer's nuts," muttered Izaya, slightly worried but mostly unfazed.
The stoner rubs the back of her head in confusion. "Huh? What did I do wrong? I'm just grooooovy."
"Are you denying your actions last season?!" Ashley asked, appalled by Meowzer's behavior.
"What actions?" Meowzer queried, genuinely confused."
Ashley growls back, "Why you-"
"I think getting stoned again gave her amnesia," deduced Icy with a weak smile. "So we don't have to worry… but only if she's stoned."
Luther gulps guiltily.
Meowzer smiles. "Thanks, duuude. That was grooo-" Meowzer then trips, landing face flat on the floor. "Ow."
Nihilego winces at Neowzer tripped. "Oof. Someone, please help her up."
Clay sighs as no one wanted to help out the stoner so he decided to be the one to help. He walks over to the Meowstic, carrying her on his back as he walked back to the others.
Clay frowns at Icy's group. "I'm disappointed. Even if someone does something, we should still help them to show that we're better… or at least that's what my master told me."
"I would've helped but Napstaton is still on me," drawled Breon, wincing in pain.
Clay then sighs as he drops Meowzer on the floor.
Seconds later… it then happened. The final car arrives. It drops off a chipper Shuppet before driving away.
"Finally! Our final contestant is last season's winner..
Juvia Nanami!" announced Nihilego as the Shuppet floats to her with a smile.
"Hi! It's nice to see my friends again," said Juvia with a wide grin.
Izaya has a… strangely wide grin as he flew to the Shuppet. "Hello Juvia. How was your ride?"
Juvia smiles. "It was fantastic. There was free air freshener!" A pine tree air freshener can now be seen floating above the Shuppet.
"Uh… I don't think that's free," pointed out Icy, hugging her book.
"Really?" Juvia asked, cutely tilting her head in confusion.
"So you must be the famous Juvia!" Vivian chuckles as she walks to the Shuppet. "My sidekick, Izaya, told me about you during one of our adventures!"
"Oooh! So you must be Vivian then!" responded Juvia, smiling warmly at he Roserade. She giggled. "I'm glad that you and Izzy bonded."
Viviann blushes a bit, rubbing the back of her head. "Y-yeah."
Before Juvia could reply, Nihilego rudely blows a whistle that suddenly appeared around her neck.
Atticus groans with a deadpan expression. "Stop ruining our hearing for your sick games."
Nihilego ignores Atticus' words as she talks. "Okay. Now that everyone's here. I can now explain the concept for the season. As you can obviously see, the setting for this season is a school."
"An abandoned school," added Azure with a frown. She furrows a brow as everyone gave her a weird look. "What? I just want to be specific."
"Ahem. Stop interrupting me so we could officially start. There's some twists I would like to share about this season."
"D-do tell," Napstaton urged, still wincing from Otis' sand.
"Not yet. I'll tell after the first challenge," added Nihilego, clasping her tentacles.
"Oh goodie! Let's get started then!" Quentin enthuses.
Poipole nodded. "Okie dokie. Follow me inside the school! Total Pokemon Ultra University has officially begun!"
The gate to the school then suddenly opens, startling a few of the cast.
Nihilego and Poipole walks through the gate. one ny one, the contestants all walk through the gate… until it finally closes with everyone inside the school.
-000-
Nihilego waves at the camera as she sits on a rickety stool. She seems to be inside a janitor's closet judging from the brooms, mops and dustpans stuffed inside. "Hello. This will be the confessional for this season where the contestants can share strategies, secrets, jokes and whatnot!"
The jellyfish then winced. "That's all for the explanation. I think I'm starting to get claustrophonic.
000
.
Comf scoffs as she faces the camera. "Hello viewers. You're all looking at the future winner of this show. Last time, I play goody goody but this time-" Comf snickers as she clenches her fists. "- I'm playing my way!"
000
Meowzer groans as she holds her head. "Aughhh! My head hurts sooo bad. It's totally not groooovy. It's weird, y'know? I woke up in this weird white room with an uncomfortable white jacket… totally not groovy"
000
Izaya smiles at the camera. "Hehe. I'm glad that Juvia and Vivian meshes well." His frown quickly disappears. "But if anyone tries to do something funny, I will…"
Izaya groans. "Ugh! It's hard, knowing that I might be the sanest one here."
000
"Uhh… I was eliminated fourth last time… which is really disappointing, to be honest," admitted Icy with a frown. "But this time… I'm making my way to the top."
000
Sophia growls at the camera. "Sora and Ashley are going to pay for betraying me! THE FEMALE RACE WOULD DANCE ON THEIR GRAVES!
000
Napstaton shuddered before smiling weakly. "I'm sorry for my outburst, darlings~. I just have personal problems."
He then shakily poses. "But w-worry not! Napstaton is still here to make this show fabulous!"
000
Serall cracks his knuckles as he menacingly faces the camera. "Everyone's going to regret crossing this professional athlete!"
000
"Uhh, my master told me to play fair," said Clay. "Sooo… uhhh… may the best Pokemon win this whatever… " He pauses before smiling weakly. "But it would be best if i won."
-000-
And we're done. I worked hard to finish this but it was fun writing it. I hope that you enjoyed it.
If you have problems with character portrayal, PM me about it
These characters make me smile… so stay tuned for Episode 2!
Competing:
Comf - The Jerk with a Heart of Jerk
Meowzer - The Suppressed Stoner
Izaya - The Shady Challenge Seeker
Otis - The Supreme Overlord of Sand
Breon - The Brooding Choleric
Icy - The Mumbling Strategist
Luther - The Helpful Inventor
Juvia - The Ditzy Cloth
Azure - The Teacher's Pet
Sophia - The Feminazi
Atticus - The Sleepless Sleuth
Quentin - The Rejected Host
Vivian - The 'Bringer of Chaos'
Napstaton - The Fabulous TV Personality
Clay - The Clueless Doormat
Ashley - The Short-Tempered Sister
Serall - The Pro Athlete
Sora - The Competitive Battle Girl