Keller woke up out of a blissful dream he had. It was the same dream that he had been having for the past five days. It had been five days since Keller had moved out of his old pod. It had been five days since he had spoken to Tobias. Keller was still deeply hurt by Beecher accusation. How could he think that he would order a hit on the child of the only person, beside himself, that he ever cared about? Keller was hurt but he refused to let Toby see it. Keller missed the joy of waking up with the one he loved everyday, but that was gone forever. Forever, yeah right. Keller wanted to forgive Beecher but he was unable to for two main reasons. The first reason, he would be breaking the "rules of prison". Beecher tried to kill him; you cannot just forgive someone for that in this Emerald City. The second reason being that Beecher had truly hurt him. Keller had been hurt numerous times in his life, but none of them had ever been this bad. The fact that Keller never let anyone get close to him made it easy for him to brush off the spiteful remarks of others. Keller had worked so hard to regain the trust of Beecher after breaking his arms three years ago. He actually believed that he had regained his love and trust. But that was all shattered the moment Beecher came after him with a knife.

Everyday had been a struggle to keep Tobias out of his life. He had not felt this bad about ignoring him since the couple of days before he broke his arms. Beecher had perfected this sad, almost soulless, stare that cut Keller to the bone. But Keller was determined to not let Beecher make him fell guilty. It was not Keller who came after Beecher with a shank. For some reason today was worse than others. He had awoken from his dream wanting to go and hug Beecher, to forgive him, and return every thing to normal. Like anything in OZ is ever normal. Keller quickly pushed those thoughts aside as he went to get breakfast. He didn't even look to see if Beecher had woken up let. Keller was a little worried that Toby might be drinking again. He remembers the stories that Ryan O'Reily told him while Beecher was in the hospital, about Beecher's month long bender, the threat of the hole the passing out in EM City. No matter now much he tired to hide it and ignore it, Keller cold never completely get ride of the concern he had for Beecher.

Breakfast passed with little incident. They served the regular cold waffles and there was almost a fight between a Homeboy and an Aryan. When Keller returned to EM City he was surprised to see that Beecher's pod had been cleaned out. So he couldn't take it, Keller thought to himself. I guess the self-loathing and guilt finally gotten to the point where Beech couldn't see me any more. As the thought of him winning crossed his mind Keller let one of his trademark grins spread across his face, something he hadn't done since being shot earlier that year. Keller's victory party was cut short by the voice of Sean Murphy bringing him back to reality.

"Keller, Sister Pete wants to see you."

This came as a shock to Keller. Sister Pete had not spoken a word to Keller ever since she realized that Keller was using her to try and win Beecher back. "What for?"

"You'll find out when you get there."

Normally Keller would give the hacks a tough time for the hell of it but with the tone that Murphy used and the fact that it was Sister Pete, Keller knew it had to be important. "All Right."

The short trip to Sister Pete's office was dull and uneventful. He walked the entire way there in silence. Which was odd for Murphy, because he was a C.O. that tried to be your friend. Murphy reminded Keller of McManus in a way. Just not as weak. Murphy opened the door for Keller when they reached Sisters Pete's office. "Keller sit down," Sister Pete said with out looking at Keller. "Thank you Sean, you can go now. Read this." Sister Pete gave Keller a note that was folded up. Looking at the note he noticed what was written on it.

"McManus please give this to Sisters Pete to give to Keller"

Keller knew right away that it was from Beecher. "Look Sister. I don't need to read one of Beecher's sob stories telling me that he is 'So sorry' and that 'would I please forgive him.' He is out of EM city and I couldn't be happier.

Sister Pete was noticeably irritated by Keller's arrogance "Keller just read the note."

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not going to read one of…"

Sister Pete, furious, cut Keller off. " Keller, shut the hell up! This is not one of Beecher's so called sob stories. I do not know if you noticed, probably not because all you think about is yourself, that Beecher is no longer in Emerald City."

Keller was slightly disturbed by the rage that was building inside of Sisters Pete. She never swore even when Keller had pissed her off when he tried to use her to get Beecher back. "Yeah I noticed. I figured he couldn't take seeing me everyday. Being that he tried to kill me less than a week ago."

"As usual Keller, you are wrong. Beecher isn't in Emerald City any more because he is dead."

There was an awkward silence that fell over the room. Keller was in shock and Sisters Pete was trying to hold back tears. Keller broke the silence but all he could manage was a barely audible "What?"

"He did it sometime last night. He snuck a shank in to his pod and he slit both of his wrists. Before he did that he wrote this note. So will you stop being a self centered jack ass and read the damn not!"

Once again the profanity coming from Sister Pete shocked Keller. Chris opened the note and read it.

"Chris,

Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up, and, barely conscious, you'll say to no one: "Isn't something missing?" You won't cry for my absence, I know you forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me? Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me? Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again. I know what you do to yourself, I breathe deep and cry out, "Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?" And if I bleed, I'll bleed, knowing you don't care. And if I sleep just to dream of you I'll wake without you there, isn't something missing? Isn't something…

Toby"

Keller just stared at the note when he had finished reading it. He heard Sister Pete softly crying. For the first time in his life Keller was at a loss of words. Except for the sobs of Sister Pete, they both set in complete silence for what seemed like an eternity. "Before you leave, I have one more thing to say. I am not very found of you, but because of my respect and love of Toby I want to continue regular sessions. You can leave now."

Keller sat there for a second then slowly rose to his feet. He was taken back to EM city were he spent the rest of the day as if nothing had happened. Just before lights out he read over the note again. Chris just set there staring at the note. The lights went out and Keller began to cry. In the darkness Keller let his tough guy façade fade away, and the sad and lonely man that he was inside with out Toby.