We Are Family
Disclaimer: New tricks belongs to the BBC, Not any of us.
Rating: K
This Fanfic has been written while I have my 'Mother' head on, consider it a telling off to all those out there who have been naughty, you know who you are!
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Jack - So what are we doing in this one?
Brian – No idea, not really got started yet, at the moment we're all sitting around drinking coffee.
Dan – What all of us?
Gerry – Well, I'm here.
Steve – And me.
Sasha – I'm here, even though nobody seems to like me.
Sandra – Don't worry, you've only just appeared, they'll get to like you.
Robert – So long as the fiction survives.
Gerry – What do you mean?
Robert – Well, evidently there has been a lot of nastiness on the social media sites.
Sandra – What kind of nastiness?
Robert – Well it's basically about who you prefer to sleep with, me or Gerry. Or even Dan.
Steve – Hey, what about me!
Robert – That's not been done so far.
Sasha – Don't be upset Steve, I haven't had a ship yet either.
Robert – Don't speak too soon.
Sasha – What! Who?
Robert – Don't know that yet.
Brian – Well, me and Jack never get a look in.
Gerry – You're both married, well Jack sort of.
Jack – I've had a fling with Grace a few times.
Sandra – Yeah! Dad.
Jack – Sod off.
Steve – Seriously though, people are getting nasty about who Sandra's shagging?
Sandra – You make me sound like some kind of tart.
Gerry – Yeah well, you do seem to have your legs open more times than a church gazebo. (Slap!) Ow! I'm not the one writing!
Robert – Count yourself lucky, I don't know who I am half the time.
Dan – What do you mean?
Robert – Well, sometimes I'm a white knight, handsome, brave, great at sex. I like those ones. Other times I'm a complete prick. I've even been evil once, I was in league with Ricky Hanson to take down UCOS!
Sasha – Really!
Robert – Yes. And even the writer that says I'm her favourite has had me stabbed, frozen, almost killed in a traffic accident, sacked, abused and abandoned.
Sandra – Sacked!
Robert – Oh, she hasn't posted that one yet! Sorry. But my point is that when I'm not the hero, I'm the bad guy.
Gerry – You should try appearing in an episode in your boxers. Seems to win people over.
Robert – I'd be happy to make it to the main credits!
Sandra – But why are people arguing? Surly It doesn't matter who I sleep with, what's important is that those people who write are giving us new life, new adventures. We can do things in here that we can't do on the box. Out there we only have ten hours a year to do our thing, in here, the possibilities are endless. We have no budget, we have no time constraints. In here it doesn't matter if our actors have moved on, we can still be together. All of us. There are no boundries. If they stop writing, we'll stop living.
Jack – Well said. But let's put this argument to bed, who do you prefer to sleep with?
Sandra – Do you know what, I like being with both of them, they are both great guys, you all are, and Sasha, your time will come, I don't mind sharing. I just want this to continue to be one of the best fandoms out there, I don't want writers to feel like they have to abandon us because of the arguing. Please.
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Author's note: Writing is a gift, and the stories we write are gifts to others. If we receive a gift we don't like, we don't yell rude and mean things and throw that gift back at the person who gave it, we say a quiet 'thank you' and put it in the back of the cupboard. Fanfic is the same, if the story you are reading isn't your thing, go back to the main menu and try another one. Rant over...