Suggested by BeecroftA. Proofreading by JrRangerScout. Merry Christmas, everyone!
Also, just a quick explanation for you new readers. This story, and its precedent, "Christmas in Bunnyburrow" are not part of the same storyline as "Something Stinks" and its sequels, though the characters and much about them are the same. However, these stories are some use as a testing ground for ideas which might come up in the main stories later on. In other words, anything can happen!
"'Tis the season to be silly..."
Garfield
"You ready?" asked Judy.
Taelia smiled ironically. "You know he's going to be all snarky about this, right?" she asked, adusting her headpiece with one paw and gesturing to herself with the other. The headpiece was made from parts of an artificial Christmas tree, and sported a battery-powered candle like the Ghost of Christmas Past (presently turned off). That assemblage topped a dress which, at a glance, made her look like a walking pine tree. Tinsel and branches printed on the fabric were emphasized with strategic ruffles and colored lace, and the flat areas of cloth displayed images of lightbulbs, tiny Santas, angels, and the like. Completing the look, she wore a pair of brown high heels, brass sleigh bell anklets, and a necklace and bracelets of battery-powered lights.
Judy snickered. She wore candy cane-striped yoga pants with cuffs ringed about in triangles of green felt, a green jacket with similar red cuffs, and a green hat with a black brass-buckled band. She looked much tamer than Taelia, but as Taelia was quick to observe, "The minute Nick sees your outfit he'll probaby ask, 'So are you headed for the toy shop with a box or without one?'"
The doe shrugged carelessly. "I know," she agreed. "I'll just step on his tail again."
"I happen to like his tail."
Judy shook her head. "Ah, the things I'll do for a roommate. Okay, I'll let it go if he makes that wisecrack. Now come on and knock."
Taelia stifled a laugh and rapped her knuckles sharply on the door.
"Coming!"
The moment the door opened, the two of them broke into song.
"Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree,
How can one hang a star on thee?
With stature more than four of me,
You're three foot more than twenty-three!
The star's so high it's hard to see.
Don't stand too close you'll get dizzy.
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas tree,
That was so strangely easy."
On the final line, Taelia reached up and flicked on the candle.
Nick stood, thoroughly impassive. "Sorry, Carrots," he said in a trance-like voice. "I had a root canal earlier today and couldn't smile if my life depended on it. You lose."
Judy stomped her foot in mock anger at Nick's poker face. When he told her out on patrol the other day that he really didn't like carolers much, she'd said she didn't buy it and told him he'd smile for sure the next time some came to his door.
Taelia played it a bit more calmly. "Can't smile, hm?" she asked, turning to Judy with a knowing look.
Nick backed up and started to close the door in self-defense as Judy answered Taelia's sneaky smile with a broad and somewhat sinister grin.
"GET HIM!"
"No. No! Ladies, sto-hahahaha! No, not the ri-hih-hih-hibs! Oh, ack, I give! I give!"
Neighbors stopped what they were doing as the two women mercilessly tickled Nick. At the surrender, however, they left off and let him get back up.
"That... was cheating," Nick objected, making little effort to hide his grin. "I call win by default."
"Worth it," Judy replied without hesitation.
Taelia gave a smile which, in her usual manner, was part sheepish and part sneaky. "Would something to snack on help make up for it?" she ventured.
Nick raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess. Figgy pudding?"
"Told you he'd guess that," Judy announced triumphantly.
Taelia just shrugged. "The store was out of figs," she admitted, reaching for a box where the doorway had hidden it from view, "but I do have plum pudding."
It hadn't taken many rounds of Taelia's cooking to convince Nick – or Judy for that matter – to give any edible at least a nibble. "Bring it on in," he invited, opening wide the door.
In short order the three were seated around Nick's coffee table, snacking on the dessert.
"So," asked Nick, "what do you want for Christmas?"
They looked at him in confusion. "Come again?" asked Taelia.
Nick raised an eyebrow. "I know you both too well," he pointed out calmly. "I can tell when someone's trying to butter me up. What's the favor?"
Taelia blushed. "Judy wants your help," she answered. "I'm just helping her out."
Nick turned his attention to his bunny partner, who smiled confidently. "Actually, it's a relay from a fan of yours – though I'm not sure where to begin..."
Something about the way she drew out the 'I'm not sure where to begin' cued him that this was going to be a bait and switch. "Come on, out with it," he pressed with a mix of charm and impatience.
Judy drew her lips inward until a light kick of Taelia's heel against her footpaw jarred her loose. "Okay," she relented. "You remember my brother Alex, right?"
Nick thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah," he recalled, his eyes widening with recognition and then quickly narrowing into a squint. "Your co-conspirator in wreaking havoc on my stomach. That Alex."
Judy winced. "I was kind of hoping you were over that."
He folded his arms. "Would you like to know how long it took my digestion to get over it?"
Taelia gave him the kind of look her mother used to give her and her brother when they argued. "Come on, Nick. This isn't a trick; I happen to know that."
In answer, Nick glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "Just whose side are you on?"
She answered with a matching brow. "What is this, multiple choice?"
Nick raised his paws, then let them fall in a show of resignation. Clearly, Judy had trained Taelia all too well. "Alright, what's he need?"
Judy held her paws facing one another and waved them in a kind of circular manner as she spoke. "Well, we got a phone call earlier, see, and...
Flashback
"Are you sure you don't want some help?" asked Taelia as Judy paced back and forth, examining her target with all the scrutiny of a general readying for battle. Her foe – a small Blue Spruce with roots bound up in earth and burlap – reached nearly to the ceiling, and was easily double her height.
Judy, star in paw, shook her head. "I'll get it up there if it kills me," she vowed with characteristic grit.
Taelia shook her head. Ever since she and Judy had decided to tag up as roommates – both being social creatures and penny savers by habit – their differing approaches to problems had been a source of amusement and, on occasion, consternation. The incident in question was a mix of the two. "You'll live though it," she countered. "It's the heirloom ornaments on that tree I'm worried about."
The bunny wasn't listening. With slitted eyes, she crouched, then raced past the tree, sprang into the air, and kicked off the top of the sofa. The article of furniture tilted back for an instant, then lent its catapult force to her own rebound.
"Aaaand boom! Dead-on!" she cried exuberantly as, hurtling over the tree with her back scraping the ceiling, she fitted the star smack over the top, then continued her flight into a roll on the other side.
Letting out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Taelia strode to the tree, stood on her tip-toes, and adjusted the star. She'd always considered herself free-spirited, but Judy's acrobatics made her feel like an old woman sometimes – or, at least, a mother hen. "You always have to do things the crazy way, don't you?" she asked in mock-weariness.
Judy shrugged. "Everyone needs a hobby."
Taelia sighed as she regarded the tree. All arrayed in tinsel, lights, and ornaments both new and old, it was a sight to see even before plugging in. For one thing, it was the largest Christmas tree she'd had since she had moved out of her parents' den. That part was, actually, a handy benefit of splitting costs with Judy, and with a family who were going to plant a tree as part of their own tradition sometime after Christmas. All that money saved on the tree itself had left it easier to buy more ornaments, which added nicely to the ones her parents had sent with her when she moved out. With that and several Judy had bought to add her own touch, it seemed no one could have asked for a nicer trimming.
"It's just too bad we won't be around for it," the vixen added thoughtfully. The tree was, in fact, a strategic piece to discourage anyone who might try to raid the apartment. Both women had plans with their respective families for Christmas Eve.
"Well, it's fun anyway," Judy replied, adjusting a string of tinsel.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh
"Oh, that's probably Nick calling," Judy remarked, fishing her phone out of her pocket.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-
Beep.
"Hello?"
"Hi Judy! It's Violet."
"Violet?" asked Judy in surprise. She hadn't heard from her little sister in a while. "What's happening?"
Violet's voice was downcast. "Bad news. You know the Christmas party the day after tomorrow?"
Judy grew worried. Bunnyburrow was hosting a party for their youngsters that year, and her brother Alex had promised to play Santa Claws (rumor had it he was using the excuse to fatten up on Christmas goodies), and since it was rare for any Hopps to do things alone, others had been brought in on the operation. Violet and Jordy, in the roles of elves, would be helping with the kids. Judy had even allowed herself to be roped into playing the role of Chief Elf and helping... well, mostly with Jordy.
"Don't tell me they canceled," she said in dismay.
"No, but Alex can't go. He got hit real bad with a bug and the doc says he's got to stay in bed all week."
Judy clapped a paw to her forehead. "Oh, no. Where are they going to find a Santa on such short notice?"
Violet seemed confused that Judy would ask that. "Well, that's why I called you. You remember 'Nick'?"
A quiet breath escaped Judy's mouth as she recalled that little detail. After an impromptu performance the previous year, Violet was convinced that Nick was really the real Santa Claws, and that Nick Wilde was just an alter-ego he used to see whether people were being good or bad. The idea of Santa posing as a cop had been so funny that, much as Judy knew she shouldn't, she had partly encouraged her young sister in believing it. Now, however, that was coming back to bite her... with pred teeth.
"Oh, right, Nick," she agreed. "Well, listen, he's busy this time of year, and..."
"Please?" begged Violet. "There's a lot of kids wanting to see him."
Present
Nick sighed and leaned back in his chair. "That's the trouble with having a talent," he said, waxing philosophical. "Once you let people see it, they want it on demand."
"It's just one party," Taelia pointed out.
The fox shook his head slowly. "Listen, Violet was one kit, and she was sick in bed. I haven't done well with large groups of kids since I was a kid."
Judy persisted. "Nick, they're not going to put a muzzle on Santa."
"I saw it happen at the mall once."
"Those were city kids," she argued.
"You mean like Jordy?"
Judy flung her paws down in despair. "Nick, he apologized for that – and he's on your side this time. He'll be watching your back, not jabbing it."
Despite personal experience with just how protective Jordy could be, Nick still looked resistant.
"There's a busload of kids coming from an orphanage," Judy pressed, throwing in just a touch of the classic Big Sad Eyes. "You wouldn't want to disappoint them, would you?"
Nick put a paw on his brow as if he had a headache. "Oh, come on now, Carrots. I used to play the orphan card all the time. I played it on you."
Taelia jerked in surprise. "You did what?"
"I'll explain... later," Judy promised. She was willing to twist an arm now and then for a good cause, but not to the extent of separating friends. Besides, letting loose an angry vixen was way outside her arsenal. She still needed a Santa, though, so she turned back to her partner. "Nick, I'd never lie about orphans. You know me. Taelia knows me." She turned to the vixen. "You know I'm serious about this, right?"
Nick sighed as the ladies both stared at him. "Welll..." he asked, making a show of weakening, "how long is the party?"
"Just a few hours," Judy promised. Glancing at Nick's nearly-finished dessert, she added coyly, "A few hours of all the Christmas cookies you can eat – and my mom's busting out all her secret recipes."
"Hmm." Nick remembered Mrs. Hopps' Christmas cookies well; gooey, moist chocolate chip, crunchy gingerbread, sweet, cinnamony snickerdoodles, and lava cookies that fairly oozed through one's teeth with every bite. Nobody could forget them. "Hmm, her cookies are good. The gingerbread ones are pretty dry, though. Is she bringing that apple cider?"
"Yes," Judy affirmed. "And I gave her your mom's recipe for pumpkin coffee, too."
Nick licked his lips with an expression of shaking resolution, but then his eyes drifted toward Taelia. "I'm sorry, Carrots. I promised to go with Taelia to see her folks in Pine Forest."
"I'm going to the party," Taelia answered readily. "We'll have enough time to do both, and I already told them about it. They love the idea of you helping with something like this – and so does Rose, for that matter."
The mention of Rose was a hefty card to play. Taelia's whole family loved Nick, but her niece had latched onto him like a second coat of fur from the first meeting... and Rose, if she had wanted to, could have charmed the horns off of Chief Bogo himself.
Under this barrage, Nick raised his paws. "Okay, okay, I'll do it."
"Oh, thank you!" Judy exclaimed, jumping over to give him a hug. "You're the best, Nick!"
Nick returned the hug. "Could you throw in a take-out jug of that cider and a box of the cookies?"
Judy's shoulders sagged. Nick was sweet, but he was living proof that the typical mammal's stomach was bigger than their heart. "Okay, fine. One jug of my mom's cider."
Taelia's brief glimmer of jealousy at watching Judy hug Nick vanished beneath a wave of suspicious annoyance when she spotted a cocky smirk on Nick's muzzle.
"Nick Wilde," she asked in her 'Getting Annoyed Really Really Fast' voice, "did you hold out on us just to bargain for party food?!"
Nick felt Judy's arms suddenly lock around his neck; not constricting, but definitely not about to come off either. His cocky smirk turned into a nervous grin. "It's called a hustle, sweetheart?" he asked uneasily.
Judy's arms constricted.
"Gaaaccchh!"
So, yep. Wasn't planning on another Christmas fic as such, but once I started on this I just couldn't stop. I've actually had to rule out one or two ideas I was going to use just to keep the story coherent. Anyway, Nick's back in the Santa Suit, and headed back to see Judy's family. What can go wrong this time? (Oh, what the heck. What can't go wrong?)
I decided to weave a few Christmas tradition ideas into this story, just for an extra touch. The part about Taeia's parents sending ornaments with her when she left home draws on a tradition which, I believe, a friend shared on Facebook. The family would have each of their kids choose an ornament (reasonably priced, of course) each year, marking the chooser's name and the year on each ornament. When each child grew up and moved out, their decorations would be boxed up and sent with them as a housewarming gift. These, and probably some ornaments Taelia would have made as a kit and managed to keep in good condition (clothes pin reindeer and the like) would be at the heart of her decorating.
I considered just having Judy and Taelia split the bill for the tree between themselves, but then I also recalled a case where a church partnered with a synagogue to buy X number of live pines. After the trees were used for Christmas by families in the church, they went to Jewish families who later used them for a spring festival which is celebrated by planting trees (and which, much as I make it a point to know about Jewish customs, I have no idea how to spell). Everyone wins. For those who are wondering (since this has come up), Taelia is on the conservative side when it comes to relationships and would not be comfortable sharing an apartment with a guy outside of marriage (kind of based on my mom there). With Judy, however, what would be an awkward arrangement with Nick becomes simply practical.
I had to get creative with Zootopia's Christmas lore in this story. As those of you who've read Christmas in Bunnyburrow know, I decided to have Santa be a shape-shifter in their legends. Since "Santa's helpers" didn't have the same ring to it as "elves," I went with the theory that "elf" in that world, at least as it concerned Santa's helpers, would refer to a unique and perhaps not entirely natural vriant of rabbits or hares. Their size and dexterity would allow them to manage minute work and details, but they would not be so small as to require mechanical aid for virtually every task in his shop. Additionally, their sheer numbers make them easy to envision running around in hoards most anywhere.
Last but not least, the recipe for the cider Nick mentioned is included with the original Christmas in Bunnyburrow. So is the idea for pumpkin coffee, for which I wish to make a little clarification. Having consulted with some professional chefs, I have been advised that the best way to make natural pumpkin-flavored coffee would be...
1. Steam the shells. This is done quickest by cutting them up into small squares and putting them into whatever kind of steamer you would use for other vegetables. It should take no more than five minutes once the process is underway.
2. Cut away the "meat" (the soft inner part of the shells, often used to make pumpkin pie filling and the like), cut into small cubes, and put it in a dehydrator (available at most kitchen appliance stores, and very handy to have in general). Be sure to have the catcher tray in place, as small or especially soft pieces may slip through the grates.
3. Run the dehydrator until the cubes are completely dry (of course).
4. Store until desired. When wanted, puree some of the cubes into a powder with a food processor or blender.
5. Put some of the powder in the coffee maker with your coffee grounds, add small portions of desired spices (I recommend cinnamon and nutmeg) and run the maker as usual. Everyone has their own taste buds, of course, so you may have to experiment to get a mix of coffee, pumpkin, and spices that suits you. Have fun!
And before anyone asks, I can't give you Mrs. Hopps' secret cookie recipes. She bought my silence with a batch of snickerdoodles... and she's standing behind me with a rolling pin.
In terms of Easter Eggs, whose clothes do you suppose might have inspired Taelia's dress?