Sordidity
I'm dying to catch my breath Can you still see the heart of me? Don't tear me down for all I need I'm here on the edge again Can you still see the heart of me? Don't tear me down for all I need Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Oh why don't I ever learn?
I've lost all my trust,
though I've surely tried to turn it around
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now, don't let it close
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
from turning it around
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Make my heart a better place
"Harry?"
"Mmm?"
"Why aren't you ready? I thought we were going out tonight. You promised we would."
"I'm not n the mood. I just want to stay in, okay?"
"Oh…well, do you want to rent a movie or something then? Remember that one you said you wanted to see when it came out?"
"No. You go."
"It's okay; I really don't mind staying-"
"Draco! Just go out, okay? I want to be on my own for a while! We don't have to spend every waking moment of every single bloody day together, for Christ's sake!"
"N-no. Of course not. Sorry Harry."
"Just…just be careful, all right?"
"I will. See you in a bit."
"Yeah…"
Harry Potter sighed deeply and slouched back on the settee, downing the last of his green wine in one. He felt kind of bad for letting Draco down, especially considering that they hadn't been out for at least a week.
But Draco was so clingy! Harry knew that he was insecure, but sometimes it got to the point where Harry just wanted to slap him and tell him to stop being such a paranoid idiot.
Not that Harry didn't feel guilty for yelling at Draco. He did. And the way those big grey eyes would stare at him, all hurt and sorry…it made the famous Potter's heart melt and his knees go weak just thinking about it.
Harry shook his bespectacled head in an attempt to dislodge the guilt and reached for the TV remote. Adverts flashed onto the screen, accompanied by a cheery jingle which told him, rather forcefully, to smile.
Harry tried to smile. He hoped that Draco wouldn't be gone too long. He hoped that Draco wouldn't go far. He hoped that Draco had sense enough not to talk to anyone…
Unconsciously, Harry's hands curled into fists.
Harry knew that he was possessive, but he couldn't help it; that was why he disliked going into bars with Draco so much as the beautiful blonde would undoubtedly attract far too much attention from both silly girls and ugly men. Not that Harry Potter was jealous, of course. It was just that he could see how much all this unwanted attention scared Draco. The gorgeous, flirtatious angel who Harry loved so much would be transformed into a timid, frightened little boy with downcast eyes, who would cling onto Harry's arm as they steered through the oppressive crowds.
No, Harry James Potter- Boy Who Lived was not the jealous type. He just wanted to look after his pretty boy-friend and keep him away from ugly people with their ugly ideas.
As the main feature (Emmerdale, to which Harry was rather partial) danced onto the set, Harry pondered on ways to make it up to the young Malfoy. Maybe they would just sit here and cuddle, maybe watch a movie, and fall asleep in each other's arm. Or, alternatively, Harry would get Draco completely wasted, then shag his brains out and fall asleep in each other's arms.
The outcome, ultimately, would be the same and Harry knew which would be his first choice.
Draco Malfoy trudged along by the canal- shoulders hunched, hands thrust deep into his pockets as protection against the cold. He wished he hadn't made an effort with his appearance tonight. Draco could feel the small groups of people eyeing him appraisingly from the tables outside the various bars and clubs.
Draco hated attention, especially when he was alone.
Doing his very best to ignore the eyes fixed upon him, Draco traipsed on. He wanted to turn around and run back to the flat, back to Harry. But, more than that, he didn't want Harry to be angry at him anymore. And so, if Harry wanted to be left alone, then Draco would leave him alone.
"Oi! Blondie!"
Draco instantly tensed and quickened his all ready rapid pace. But the man's voice- harsh and sneering- followed him.
"Hey! I'm talkin' to you!"
Slowly, tremulously, Draco turned to face the man, head bowed, eyes averted.
"Well, aren't you a pretty thing?" the man grinned as his small eyes swept over the young man's lean body. "Off to meet somebody, are you? Or maybe you're on your own?" The last part of that sentence was barely more than a drunken, lust-filled rasp.
Draco flushed. His mouth had suddenly gone as dry as parchment and he wanted Harry. Oh, how he wanted his Harry!
"Why don't you 'nd me go down that little alley just there, eh?" the ghastly apparition slurred. "I'll keep you company…" He made a lunge for Draco's wrist. "Come on, Blondie."
It took less than half a second for Draco's mind to go into automatic; the only thing that the young Malfoy could understand was that he was scared and in danger and there was no way he could physically overpower this guy…
He screamed, "Get off me!"
There was a bang and, before any of the onlookers could comprehend what was happening, Draco had run off, leaving his attacker on the ground.
If there had been a wizard present, they would have recognised the distinct smell of childish, uncontrollable magic.
Harry jerked awak as the front door slammed and the sound of hurried footsteps sounded in the hall.
"Draco?" he called, sitting groggily up. "Is that you?"
No answer.
Frowning, Harry pushed himself up from the sofa and followed his ears into the bedroom where Draco was lying on their bed with his back to Harry. He was curled up on his side, knees tucked up under his chin.
Harry bit his lip worriedly and sat down beside him. "Drake?" he whispered. "You okay?"
Sniffling, Draco sat up, eyeing Harry with a faint trepidation. "I didn't mean for you to notice me," he said. ""I know you want to be left alone. I-I was going to stay out longer but…" Draco gave a little shudder and turned away.
Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Look, I'm sorry for getting mad at you. I know you wanted to go out, but I just really didn't feel like it tonight."
"I wouldn't have gotten in your way. If you had let me stay home, I mean." Then, guiltily, "I did a bad thing, Harry."
"What? What did you do?"
"I erm…I did magic. But I didn't mean to Harry! I swear I didn't! There was a- a man who started to talk to me…" The young blonde wrung his hands anxiously as he continued his story," "I tried to walk away, Harry, but he wouldn't let me. Then he tried to touch, he tried to take me somewhere…I-I didn't like it. It scared me Harry, I wanted you there. And then...and then I did magic."
Harry didn't say anything. He just sat in the bed and contemplated his duvet, a look of utter disappointment written across his face..
Draco shuffled a little closer, head cocked anxiously to one side. "Harry? Harry, are you mad?" he asked timidly. "I couldn't help it, really I couldn't! It just sort of…happened…"
"What are you?" Harry suddenly burst out angrily, making Draco jump. "A fucking child? Only little kids can't control their magic, Draco! Do you realise how much danger you could have put yourself in?"
"He was going to rape me, Harry," Draco whispered. "I didn't know what to do. If you'd been there-"
"So it's my fault now? I'm to blame for your stupidity am I?"
"No! I wasn't blaming you but-"
Why did you talk to him?" Harry continued, his voice rising at an alarming rate. "Why did he even come near to you?"
"I-I-I don't know! Please, Harry-"
Did you come onto him?" Potter's hands were balled into fists now. "Were you planning to screw him all along?"
Draco blanched. "Why're you being like this?" he asked, voice quavering. "You know I don't want anybody except you!"
Harry's piercing eyes narrowed. "And how the hell should I know that?" he demanded cruelly. "Going out on our own, all dressed up, looking like a fucking hooker!"
"Stop it Harry!" cried Draco, clutching at Harry's arm. "Stop talking like that! I know you don't mean-"
Jerking his arm away, Harry snarled, "You don't know shit, Draco! You are just a stupid little boy who can't fucking control himself! Grow up!"
And with that, The Boy Who Lived stormed away, leaving Draco staring after him, devastated and confused.
Running distracted hand through his hair, Harry paced the length of their tiny kitchen, feeling exceptionally wound up and not just with Draco. The worst thing was, Harry knew that he was being an unreasonable bastard and, if he was going to be totally honest with himself, it didn't actually have much to do with Draco possibly getting them both into quite serious trouble.
Harry absolutely detested the notion that Draco was being touched by anybody other than himself. It drove him to distraction. Further, actually, if he really put his mind to it…
'Damn that boy!' Harry thought viciously, slamming a fist down upon the counter top. 'Damn him and his bloody eyes!'
It was at least three hours later before Draco summoned up enough courage to go and talk to Harry.
Sliding off the bed, the young Malfoy crept from their room and picked his was carefully down the hall- half wanting to turn back.
Harry was lying on the sofa, facing away from the door, his chest rising and falling in a way that you only did when you were sleeping.
"Harry?" Draco murmured, hovering by the settee.
A slight frown graced Harry's features and a slight sound rose up from his throat. "Mmm…"
Draco knelt by Harry's side, hands just an inch away from his face. "I didn't really want to go out tonight. I would've stayed in, if you had let me. I wouldn't have gotten in your way."
The raven haired boy's lips parted slightly, "So?"
"So, I didn't go looking for trouble. I would never cheat on you, Harry. Never in a million years."
The sincerity in the blonde's voice made Harry's eyes open a little and he pushed himself up onto his side, so that he could face Draco properly.
"I know," he said, brushing a hand across Draco's cheek, who smiled with relief. "I'm sorry for yelling," Harry continued. "I just want to keep you all for myself. I want to keep you untainted."
At this, Draco's smile became even more brilliant. Without a moment's hesitation, he leaned up and gave Harry a peck on the cheek. "Thank you Harry."
"So you should be," came the gruff response, although the delight in his emerald eyes gave him away.
Harry sat up and swung his legs around, making room on the sofa so that there was enough room for Draco to sit. Not that he needed to, as it turned out that Draco's preferred seat was Harry' s lap.
The blonde sighed contentedly as he nuzzled the hollow of Harry's neck with his nose. Harry scowled ahead of him, but made no attempt at moving the odious Draco. He had learnt quickly that compromise meant everything to Draco which, in turn, meant that if Harry let him have his way now, then Draco couldn't protest later when Harry would, undoubtedly through him across the bed and have his wicked way with him.
Harry smirked and petted his boy's fine hair, lightly kissing the crown of Draco's head.
A/N: first off, this my first attempt at anything slightly resembling romance, so please forgive me. Second, the title 'Sorditity' is copy writed to holly lizzy and isn't a real word. She said it in french and I wrote it down in my notbook and fell in love with it. It doesn't acutally mean anything. and thirdly, this is an experiment, if people like it, i shall continue it maybe not on this account, if they don't...well, then i won't :-)
Lily xxx