1000… 993… 986… 979…
Funny things happens over time… especially when you grasp onto the last hope of sanity, watching it slip through your fingers.
972… 965…
It did not matter anymore what they did… it all hurt regardless. Every pinch only soaring through the body, radiating that pain outwards… away.
958… 951…
Digits gone, digits growing back.
944…
It is like when you have a cold and eat something super crunchy. There were many times he remembers being a kid, catching a cold, his ears would clog up—always the TV volume too loud—crunching in the ear. Never ending crunchy. So loud it almost drowned the numbers.
937… 930… 923… 916… 909…
Another digit gone. Another tear shed. Another piece of humanity gone.
"Keep counting!"
"902!"
"You are weak!"
"895!"
Another digit slowly clipped off. It became routine now.
888…
*clip snip snap* "AH!" *snip clip* Digit grows back. *clip clip* Digit sealing up. *clip crunch snap*
The crunching never went away. What was it crunching?
"You are not yelling loud enough!"
Lower on the knuckle, the clip comes, this one is fresh, this one stings like a bitch.
881… 874… 867… 860!
A person slowly walks in, he can't make out who it is, his eyes blurry from pain. "Weakling," the person mutters as he reaches over where the sick fuck is. The way he laughs, the way Kaneki cried out, it is all sick.
"Leave him," the person says.
"I am not done!" * clip snap *
853…
"I said leave him!" the voice yells out, "You can play more tomorrow."
The crunching and numbing sound echoing in his ears, Kaneki couldn't continue like this. Taking a deep breath, he let his mind wander… back to the spider lilies.
"You stopped counting," Rize sang out, running a finger down his face.
846… 839… 832…
"Good boy," she said, leaning in, brushing her nose against his. A brief moment he thought of smiling, but decided to open his eyes.
"Touka?" Kaneki whispered, blinking his eyes.
"No," the not Touka said.
Tilting his head, Kaneki smiled. He always like Touka. She was pretty and she never put up with bullshit. She wouldn't deal with this thing * crunch crunch * this madness in his head.
825… 818… 811… 804… 797… 790…
Trying harder to adjust his eyes, yes, it was Touka. She would probably tell him he was being ridiculous again, tell him to snap out of it.
"Touka," he whispered.
"You think that worthless bitch would have the stones to come here ?"
A slap to his face and Kaneki just let his head roll to the side. It was all a game- cat and mouse. Unfortunately, he was the mouse. He knew Touka would never truly never hurt him, especially if he had no way of fighting back… no, she never would.
783… 776… 769…
* punch stab punch * When was it all too much? When would it all stop? His head being knocked back and forth, his body slowly growing digits again. Kaneki wish the numbness would cover his body, but more fist slammed into him more and more.
"Maybe you only like it when you are being cut into," the voice said again.
Wait… whose voice?
"You stopped counting again," Rize laughed out, grabbing his hair, jerking his head back. "And stop thinking of that bitch Touka!"
"But she… she…" *slap*
762… 755…
"No she didn't!" this time it was the voice, and not Rize.
Was he losing it? Had it finally happened? He did as he was told, he counted, even when he thought his brain was done, those numbers still somehow came to him.
Touka would never be like this to him. Touka would ridicule him, she would push him around, she would not-
"AH!" his voice finding him again as a newly barely grown finger was bent and twisted off.
748… 741… 734… 727… 720… 713… 706… 699… 692… 685… 678… 671… 664… 657… 650… 643… 636… 629… 622… 615…
It would have been better if it had been cut off like before- no, this was worse. It was twisted, and twisted, and twisted, and twisted, and twisted, and twisted, and twisted- till it finally snapped free.
"Maybe Touka isn't who you think she is," Rize whispered in his ear.
"No!"
"Yes," that voice in the room, the voice of not his, not Rize's- not Touka's.
Opening his eyes, his vision swam. It looked so much like Touka- but the eyes, they were the same, but not the same. The smile was different. Touka had a sad smile- this… this fake Touka had a twisted sinister smile.
This was not Touka.
But it looked very much like Touka.
608… 601…
Rize came behind him, running her nails down his chest. "You are still thinking of her aren't you?" Her hands moving lower and lower.
"No!"
Hands travel further down, his clothes caked with dirt and blood, she did not seem to mind. Kaneki worried her nails would get dirty. That made him laugh. Why did he care about a dead girl's nails?
No, he cared about Touka, hoping she was ok. She had to be ok- she was here, with him.
"Touka…"
"I am not Touka! I would never be her! She is weak! Like our father."
* punch slap *
It was not stopping.
594… 587… 580… 573…
The more he was being brutally beaten, the more Rize's hands continued to move, scraping over where the fist did not land.
There was no way she could…
She did.
"AH!" Kaneki screamed out, eyes wide open, staring at the not Touka.
It looked like Touka.
But it was Rize. Her hands over the crotch of his pants, rubbing him.
"Who am I?" the voice asked.
"Not Touka."
566… 559… 552…
"You disgust me. Human sympathy… and now this!" the voice screamed, gesturing where Rize was palming him, over and over on his pants.
There was no way! No way! Kaneki closed his eyes, willing his body to stop , internally begging Rize to stop.
545… 538… 531…
"I fucking hope you are not thinking about her right now," the voice said.
Who was he thinking about? His mind was blank, only the pain soaring through his body while a hand ground down hard on his crotch.
* slap punch * It was never ending, never stopping. But at least the hand stopped moving on him.
Boots, heavy boots. Touka didn't wear boots like that.
The boot came down, pressing on his groin area. Bright lights shone behind his eyelids as he screamed out.
524… 517… 510… 503… 496… 489…
It pressed harder, deeper- it fucking hurt. A tear ran down Kaneki's cheek. He was sure it mixed with the blood and dirt that had built up on him.
* press *
482…
"It is almost as if you like this," the voice said.
A deep breath, this had to end soon, he had to eventually pass out and just never wake again. How could they put someone… anyone through this?
Release of pressure from his groin and he could open his eyes. Stars erupted around the room.
475… 468…
"Oh you did like that," Rize purred in his ear, her hands running back down his body, under the elastic band of his pants.
"Please, Rize…"
"Rize?" the voice asked.
The not Touka approached him again, looking down where his foot once was. A knife appeared in his vision and then fabric was being torn.
"I heard a tale once…" the voice said, "People who get off on pain. Maybe you are one of those lucky ones."
No, he definitely did not find any of this luck.
461… 454…
Not Touka reached out, grabbing where the foot was, stroking him with one hand, grinding the knife into his thigh with the other.
447… 440… 433…
Pain and pleasure- two things Kaneki never wanted to mix.
* stroke press stroke * "AH!" * release *
"Damn… didn't take you to be a quick shooter," the voice said, the hand never stopping, a new pain exploding in his body.
"No more!" Kaneki begged. It hurt so bad, on a different level. So sensitive, so raw.
426… 419… 412… 405…
"How fast can you go again?" the voice asked.
"Yes, how fast?" Rize asked, draping herself over his shoulder, watching the hand work his dick up and down.
398… 391…
There was no stopping it, there was no stopping it.
Not Touka never gave up. A clash to the ground, the knife falling as his thigh was spilling blood, the hand moving up and down, up and down.
Kaneki sobbed.
384… 377… 370… 363… 356…
He was close again. This was sick, this was beyond torture.
"Give me another!" the voice demanded, using a bloody hand to slap him.
349… 342… 335…
A thumb moving over where his first release was, smearing what oozed, spreading it down his shaft.
Throwing his head back, Kaneki gasped. It was too much. It wasn't stopping. The hand moved faster and gripped tighter.
It hurt so bad. A different pain, one he was not use too, one that was hard to count through.
329…
"Again!" the voice demanded.
If anything, Kaneki was reliable.
Screaming out, he felt his lower body shake, his dick pulsing- the hand never leaving.
"There we go," the voice said.
"Think you can do it again?" Rize asked.
"No!"
"Yes," both voices said.
"Ah!"
321… 314… 307… 300… 293… 286…
Rize with her nails, Not Touka with their hand. He knew he had to black out soon. He did not care anymore what happen to him. Let them use him, let them beat him.
There was nothing left.
"Ah!" he cried out, his dick too sore and more than spent.
"More!" the voice demanded.
279… 272…
"There is no more!" he screamed.
265…
"There is always more!"
Up and down, up and down. Without stopping, without caring. Wet skin slapping, the foreskin to his dick red and raw.
It felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper on his cock then lit it on fire.
Looking down, he saw how red his dick was, how purple the tip was. How much a mess his legs where.
258… 251…
"Give me another…"
He didn't even know who asked him this. Blinking his eyes, he looked back up. No, that wasn't Touka.
244… 237… 230… 223…
"Kill me," he begged.
* crunch crunch *
Not now! Screaming out, there was a pain in his head, and noise that never went away. It hurt, everything hurt.
* crunch scramble *
Maybe this was all just madness, maybe the counting never worked. Maybe he was losing it.
No, he was at the coffee house, sitting with everyone, laughing.
Yes, that is what he was doing.
* crunch stroke crunch *
244… 237…
He wanted death, he pleaded for death. But death only came to him in the form of Rize. Her laughter, her condescending pep talks.
* crunch stroke *
230… 223… 216…
Maybe he would see his mother again, once this was all said and done. Probably not the best time to think of one's mother as Not Touka still stroked his overly sore and spent cock.
He had nothing left in him.
* stroke stroke *
There was nothing more he could give. Blood dripped on the floor, though his dick got hard again.
It would hurt if he released.
Everything hurt.
209… 202… 195… 188…
"Give me another!" the voice said, the grip tightening.
Breathing heavy, there was no way to block this out. There was no will left in his body. Slumping in the chair, he felt the edges of his vision going black.
* slap *
"Oh no you don't!" the voice yelled, stroking him harder. "One more!"
"There is nothing left!"
181… 174… 167… 160…
He meant it. There was nothing left. No will, no cum. Everything was gone. His body was finally relaxing, his mind quieting down.
Not Touka .
* stroke crunch stroke *
The noise in his head wasn't even a bother.
153… 146… 139…
* stroke *
132… 125…
"I said one more," the voice whispered, close to the sound in his head.
Mumbling, words did not form properly.
There was nothing left.
118… 111…
He was nothing anymore.
* stroke stroke stroke stroke stroke stroke *
104…
It still hurt.
97…
Another tear ran down his cheek.
90…
That was all he had left.
* stroke *
83… 76…
"Open your eyes," the voice said. "Who am I?"
69…
* stroke *
62… 55…
"Ah!" Kaneki's voice was broken. He couldn't say it.
48…
It was all clear. Everything around him had come to light.
41…
* stroke rub stroke *
34… 27…
"Say it!"
* stroke *
20… 13…
"Ayato!"
6…
His body released one last time, and there must be a God, because his vision went black.
-1.