It had been two months since InuYasha Takahashi had come home from war, and he still had trouble sleeping in his own bed. Tonight was no different. Something brought him wide awake in an instant, his heart racing and his ears straining, listening closely for the slightest sound. He knew he was home and safe, but his instincts were still on the battlefield. Explosions had filled his dreams and he could still feel their lingering vibrations trembling through his body.

He sat up and reached for his boots. They weren't by the bed. He turned on the lamp and surveyed the room. It looked the same as it had when he lived at home as a teenager. Outdated band posters still lined the walls and his wrestling trophies filled his bookshelves. He tried to recall the memory of those trophies, the happiness and excitement behind the wins. He tried to remember what that life had been like in that other, almost surreal world. Memories came back in flashes, but slipped through his fingers before they could settle. Battle sounds still lingered in his mind.

Shuddering, he considered taking another shower, his second of the night. The hot water beating against his body had often been the only thing able to calm his nerves. Even after scrubbing he still felt phantom grit, dirt, and sand on his skin. Every so often he'd catch himself brushing it off. The habit had not gone unnoticed by his family.

Sighing, he scrubbed a hand down his face. He didn't want another shower. He wanted…what did he want? There had been a time, both before and during his tour, that he'd dreamed of coming home and settling down with a good woman, maybe having a bunch of kids. But now? Who would marry him in the shape he was in? Waking up nightly at the slightest sound, nightmares that had him thrashing and waking in a snarling panic. Hell, he wasn't even normal during the daytime. He zoned out easily, lost in memories of this campaign or that siege. If he were startled out of these dazes, he often lashed out first, defending against the perceived threat. He'd nearly sent his mother over the coffee table once. After that, she'd learned to keep her distance when summoning him, and never touched him when he was in such a trance again.

Thinking of marriage made him think of sex. He looked down at his flaccid member and tried to remember the last time it had been something more than an object to tuck away into his underwear before heading out into enemy territory. There had been prostitutes of course; they liked to gather and tempt and tease the soldiers outside of the base. Some of the guys, even the married ones, gave into the desperation war was known to breed, but InuYasha had stayed well away.

He didn't want the distraction they would bring to his missions, or the diseases they were sure to send him home with. Being hanyou, he was hardly pick of the litter with women, but he wasn't that desperate. Eventually, he'd simply lost the urge for sex or even masturbation. It had yet to return, and he wondered if he'd ever be normal.

Sick of his melancholy thoughts, InuYasha rose and dressed quickly. "You're a civilian now," he said addressing his reflection in the mirror. "This is your life. Civilian clothes, civilian hours, but the good news is you also get civilian food." He tiptoed downstairs and walked to the front door, grabbing his boots with one hand. He put his hand on the knob, but hesitated a second listening to the faint sounds of his home. His mother shifted in bed, no doubt getting closer to his father, who gave a short snore in response. Petey and Sam, the lovebirds his mother adored, shifted in their cage in the living room. The refrigerator cycled on and off. It was all so very ordinary, but sometimes it felt suffocating. He turned the knob and went eagerly into the world beyond the door.

SSSSSSSSSSS

InuYasha opened the front door to the smell of eggs and bacon. It was a welcome smell and his stomach rumbled in anticipation. He had run for three hours, stopping only to scent the wind and catch his breath. Once, he'd gotten too close to a yard, and the resulting bedlam of barking from the family's dog had him spinning in mid-leap, fangs bared and claws extended. He'd run further afield then, taking to the forests surrounding his hometown.

He could hear his mother puttering around in the kitchen and his father turning the pages of the newspaper. He knew he needed a shower, but InuYasha hoped his parents would overlook his dishevelment. He did step into the powder room off the foyer and rinsed his face and hands, using them to slick his hair back into a semblance of neatness. Figuring he was as good as he would get, he headed into the kitchen.

"Good morning, sweetheart," his mom said turning to smile at him.

He studied his parent's carefree movements. His dad, reclined slightly in his chair at the round breakfast table, one ankle propped on the opposite knee. His mom, puttering from the stove to the sink and back, then to the refrigerator for butter or milk. He found himself taking note of the window, with its cheery red and yellow curtains thrown wide, to the back door with its nine panes of glass practically begging to be broken into.

"Son?" his dad asked, eyeing him over the paper.

InuYasha realized he'd been standing there for some moments, silent and tense. He forced himself to calm, taking a seat at the table and trying to act normal. He tried to remember when he last walked into a room without checking for unseen threats. Too long was the only answer he could come up with.

"Sorry, guess I zoned out," he mumbled.

His mother put a pitcher of juice on the table, and gently laid her hand on his shoulder, making sure he was aware of her movements beforehand.

"Would you like waffles with your eggs and bacon, dear?" she asked.

Unable to argue with his now growling stomach, he nodded his agreement and tried to smile.

Once breakfast was on the table, things were quiet for a time, as they dug into the delicious meal. Eventually, his dad got up and left for his job as an investment banker in the next town over, and he and his mom were alone.

She sipped her tea quietly, never having liked the taste of coffee that her husband and stepson loved. She appeared deep in thought, but was clearly gearing up for something. InuYasha saw this and waited patiently. After a time, she spoke.

"I know you haven't been home long, but our neighbor is a real estate agent and I asked her to take you around and show you some houses today."

InuYasha started. Did she want him to leave? Was he no longer welcome here? His reaction must have shown on his face because she hastened to add, "You're welcome here as long as you like, InuYasha. You know that. This is your home, after all. But I know you must be tired of living under your dad and me."

He started to protest, but she continued. "And I figured it would be nice for you to get out of the house a while, see how the town has grown and changed."

Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. He was more than happy to hole up in his room or the basement lounge area, working out on the equipment there or just sitting in the silent darkness. He really only left the house to go to his counselling sessions once a week, and of course on his nearly nightly runs. His parents were patient and understanding, but perhaps even they were ready for him to leave behind his self- imposed exile.

PTSD was a bitch, not only to the ones who suffered from it, but to the ones who had to live with and interact with the patient. Knowing this, and seeing the concern and fear in his mother's loving eyes, he agreed to meet the real estate agent.

So it was that an hour later, InuYasha had taken another shower and was waiting on the mystery woman. He hadn't planned on moving and was confused by his parents' sudden need to get him out of the house, but it was easier to go than to argue. His mother's smile was all the reward he needed.

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Please review, and if you haven't read my MirSan fic, Fighting the Attraction, get to it! It's complete.