He wasn't quite sure what started it, or when it started to be honest. It was usually a passing thought on a rare occasion, mostly on a bad day or so.

'It would be so funny if Eric fell down the stairs.'

The suddenness of the thought startled Butters hard enough that he broke the tip of his pencil as he took in a breath thinking about what he had just said to himself. He wasn't able to get it under wraps and asked to leave to use the restroom hurrying out as soon as he was able needing to run cold water on his face. He wasn't suppose to have thoughts like that, those kinds of thoughts were bad, very, very bad. But it didn't stop there either, Butters wasn't suppose to have these thoughts, people getting hurt, him hurting people. Accidents happening? No that wasn't meant for Butters, it went against his personality and what everyone saw him as. Maybe Professor Chaos but he didn't need him as much anymore... he missed those times though, he really did.

The thoughts kept coming though, and it scared him, but his father scared him much more to keep himself from speaking up about it. Find out what was wrong. The passing thoughts eventually turned into a small voice, whispering to him every week or so, the perfect moment to shove a person and humiliate them was the most common part of it. And it got louder, after every grounding, bulling session, every time he got blamed for one of Eric and co's stupid ideas.

But after time he didn't mind the voice as much, it didn't scare him like it had first when it appeared. He could almost say... the voice had a soft spot for him, comforting him when he was hurt or sad. Times when he needed it and no one else was around for him. Needless to say that happened a lot.

No one ever wanted to take the time to make sure he was okay, and he always thought it was because he was useless... he grew to hate himself and take comfort in that dark little voice in the back of his head. It was the one thing that seemed to care about him. It didn't matter if someone thought he was crazy, this was just fine.

Butters wasn't sure how much time passed after that, a year, maybe two he was in the 6th grade now with the others, he didn't care much though school was easy enough for him when he had time to do his work. That little voice he had wasn't so little anymore, though not exactly loud either. Like someone was talking a bit behind him, easy to understand but if you zoned out for a moment you'd miss everything they had said.

Also the voice was a boy as Butters discovered, maybe a bit deeper then his own voice it was kinda hard to tell. But defiantly deeper, more confidant, as if he could say anything and get away with it, and technically he could. No one else could hear him after all, the voice (Butters really needed to give him a name soon.) also was really attached to him, often saying things Butters found made him blush and agree with him forgetting what they had been talking about or saying really funny things that made him laugh.

Butters wasn't sure what changed between them but he liked it for the better.

Soon after getting halfway threw 6th grade Butters got dragged into another plan of Eric's, there was a party for the middle school and he wanted to break in with Butters help. His voice told him to say no but Butters got dragged into it anyways, and he was stuck playing a girl again.

Being stuck in a dress for a long period of time really sucked, but... you could say he grew to like it. Wearing makeup, not getting made fun of for his soft spoken voice. Just... feeling pretty was a change for Butters, no one even knew who he was cause of how well he learned to put on make up. it was like the perfect cover up to escape his life.

Things changed after he got to go back to being a boy again... it was weird but he almost missed the feeling and wanted to have it again. That's when she showed up.

Another voice, and just like him, she started out small, not very noticeable, but Butters wasn't scared of it this time and he wanted to hear her fast. She came out in just a few months and Butters was really happy, she was soft spoken but much better at making Butters laugh. She just like him got upset if Butters was sad or angry. The two actually fought every now and then about how to help Butters, it made him feel more special then anyone else had ever been able to. Though he often tried to get them to stop fighting whenever they started cause it usually ended up giving him a headache.

When he hit middle school things got better and worse depending on how someone looked at it.

She was a lot louder and often said things to cheer butters up and didn't give off dark comments about a persons demise but making fun of them at their outfit or such, she was kinda a girly girl in Butters opinion but he would never say it out loud. She had a temper that could scare Butters and even him sometimes. They found out after Butters had been hit by a baseball and gotten a black eye, the things she had said and threatened wasn't like anything he had ever heard before.

Then there was his home life, Butters dad had gotten worse not afraid to hit him since he wasn't a child anymore. But she helped with the make up so people never knew, so everything could still be fine.

On the other hand his school life was much different. Butters still had bullies but not as many, sometimes he took over his mouth and said things that made some of the bullies back down. Or she did and said things that made them pause and watch Butters in shock before quickly leaving.

His life had changed, and Butters was honestly really happy with that, sure his dad was worse but school had improved. In the end he saw it as a win. He had even finally gotten names for the two voices that stayed with him all the time now. After some talking they all agreed on two names for them.

Chaos and Marjorine.

And that's the first chapter up, I might be able to do once a day on weekends and maybe two during the week? I'll have to see but that's my plan for now, so one today and then one Sunday. And see if it's something worth the read and work on it from there.

Hope you all enjoyed the beginning of the story.

Lyn out~