Blindfolded Obsession
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of the characters. So what? It's not like I cry myself to sleep at night over that… damn it, where are these tears coming from!
Author's Note: Hello good people I certainly hope that this finds you in good spirits. So, if you're wondering about why I chose to do this, here's why: lately, I've been unable to concentrate on anything, and I often find myself staring at the ceiling as the hours go by (not studying – I'm so bad!) and having one idea after another ram through myself (minds out of the gutter). So after a consultation with the man who looks at me in my bathroom mirror, I decided to come up with this collection of oneshots to give these ideas life. I hope you like them, I look forward to hearing what you think when you review – also if there's a particular idea you have and want me to write about, please inbox me and let me know
"What the fuck!" There's this icy anger pulsing through his low growl, but I can't seem to stop a shiver from travelling up my spine. Just being this close to him is enough to drive me wild with crazed anticipation of what he's going to do. My hands made quick of the cloth I blinded him with, accidentally brushing against the nape of neck. He hasn't even made intentional contact yet, but already my skin set itself ablaze with passion. I've often wondered whether my feelings about him go beyond the physical; but every time he looks at me with those woundingly forceful green eyes, I can't help but drown in whatever emotion he chooses to bless me with. Every time he smiles at me, my breath instantly disappears and my world starts to spin on its axis. Every word he says to me is a dagger that scars my soul, an injury that never heals. I've lost count over the number of times I slip myself into a pretend world where he sees only me – not as a friend or a lover, but as something even more than that. He just induces this powerful helplessness whenever he's near, and like the idiot I am, I relish every moment of it. How I wish that he'd save me from myself, but I fear that I'll lose my what's left of my sanity if he ever gets too close. This isn't love. Love is nothing more than an airy bubble waiting to collapse under the weight of the world. What I feel is obsession, and it's taken over my heart and soul. I can only pray that some part of him feels the same, just enough to sate my twisted hunger. Without him, I am nothing; and he doesn't even know it.
"Relax" I whispered softly, traversing over the bright orange couch to straddle his hips. I can't believe that it's my voice coming out of my throat. It sounds so calm, yet my heart belied that with its frantic squeezes. His hands automatically lifted themselves to undo the blindfold, but mine were quicker in pinning them down. "Logan, this isn't funny" he muttered angrily, swinging his head around to loosen the knot. Even in the semi-darkness within apartment 2J, his sunshine locks still glimmer brightly, entrancing my eyes away from his face. I tore my eyes away, only to possessively rove them down to his parted lips, satin petals just waiting to be claimed. His breath came in jagged shards, angrily diffusing through the air. He must really hate this – usually he's the one that's so in control of everything… and that's what makes me weak against him. Luckily, I didn't have to worry about that. From nowhere, some alien bolt of courage possessed my body, causing me to lean forward and capture his mouth with my own. I moaned wistfully as I ran my tongue against the soft warmth of his cavern, entangling my fingers against his own. He tastes like heaven, or maybe it's my imagination running wild. Either way, I don't care. I'm a slave to this moment, and I never want it to end. His hands whimpered against my own, but I've waited too long for this. I can't let him go now.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he snarled as I pulled my head back. It's a good thing those eyes aren't piercing me now or else my resolution would desert me like it had so many times before. "Isn't it obvious Kendall?" I asked quietly. His chest heaved up and down in deep gasps. "If this is your idea of a sick joke Logan, I swear to God I will fucking murder you!"
"I wish I was I joking. Maybe it would hurt less if all this was some prank to fool you."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I smiled sadly to myself, craning my head forward to place it against his shoulder. My body had already started to betray me, but I have to stay strong. "I love you" I murmured, feeling the words travel up to his head. "I always have."
"Logan, let me go."
"Every time I see you with someone else, I die a little more on the inside. Did you know that?" His wrists twisted themselves furiously under my grasp. "Get the fuck off of me" he hissed, poison now dripping in his voice. "No" I said, feeling my voice start to firm up. "Not until you can feel what I feel."
"Fuck you!" he roared, finally freeing himself from my affectionate hold. I stared in surprise as his fingers nimbly traversed the cloth and pulled it off, unsheathing his heated gaze towards me. The sheer wrath in his eyes melted me away, draining my body to a limp puppet. With almost no effort, he flipped my body against the couch and blanketed himself on top of me. "What you feel isn't love" he whispered dangerously. "You think I haven't noticed? All the stares that linger just a little longer than normal, all the weird excuses you make just to be close to me. That isn't love Logan, its sick!"
"Love me Kendall, please" I implored, my eyes stinging against the tears. I bit my lip anxiously. "Save me."
"Save yourself." With a final shove of my body into the couch, he peeled himself off from me. His eyes swept across me contemptuously one last time before he turned around and stormed out of the apartment. Not a single decibel sung itself forward from my throat, but the tears burnt themselves freely down my cheeks. He's right – I am sick. I'm twisted fool who risked everything for something that could never be; but I'll still live in the sanctuary of my head. I'll fall deeper into the madness, but this is not the time to be brave… this is not the time for pain. In the end, I guess I'm the one who's blindfolded.
Hey guys, hope you liked that I promise though, not all of them will be as dark as this one. Please let me know what you thought, I would love to hear from you. Till next time!