I wrote this as Ash's answer to Kimblee Whitehead's Please Ash. You need to read that one first in order to understand this one. Thank you for reading.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon
I don't know what to say, Anabel. I really don't.
Well, I do know one thing. If I ever meet the thing that did this to you, I will be the last thing it ever sees. Do not call what that thing that hurt you a man, because no man would do that. Only a thing, an evil thing could ever hurt you.
I also know this. That I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you. To stop it from hurting you. To save you from the hell it put you through. Hell, I'm sorry that I haven't been here by your side for the last six months, trying to comfort you, trying to convince you that you are still Anabel. And knowing this does not put my mind at ease. It only makes me hurt more.
You were right. I only came here to find out what was wrong, not caring about the why, the why you were wrong. And you are right, I was selfish. But the key word is was. Now, I'm just mad at myself. Mad at myself for forcing you to admit that, forcing you to relive that memory, as if you don't relive it enough. I thought I was going to help you, but I did the opposite, and it sickens me.
You said I don't know evil, but I do. I felt the essence of evil try to take away my soul, my body away from me. I have had to face men and women with no hearts, that are abysses of evil. Even my father is evil, because this man has been torturing me for years, through his goons that are clueless to the fact that they are chasing their bosses son. Though I pray I never have to go through anything like the evil you faced, don't lie to me and tell me that I'm naïve. I'm an optimist, yes, but do not confuse that for naivety.
I wish I could have been your knight. And I will wish for that every night before I go to sleep for the rest of my life. But the truth is. I can't. I couldn't be. We will both have to accept that.
What hurts me the most about what you said, somehow even more then the face that you were raped, is that you no longer dream of me. I don't know how you didn't see it the second I walked into the room, but I dream of you too. The only reason Scott trusted me enough to talk to you is because he forced me to admit the now obvious. That I love you Anabel, more than anything else in the word, but you can no longer feel that.
You can call it the middle finger, but I call it much worse. As horrible as it makes me feel, I know it hurts you twice as much me telling you this. But I need to tell you this. I have to tell you this. That for now on, I will be your knight.
I will be your protector. I will be your hero. I will be whatever you need me to be. And that I will always be there for you.
If you want a punching bag, don't hold back.
If you need a shoulder to cry on, let them fall.
If you need a cushion to fall back on, fall away.
But I know I can't give you want you really want. But I hope I can give you enough.
I will give you my dignity, my courage, anything you want, it is yours. This makes me sound like I am being a servant, a slave to you, then so be it, but know I will be a good one.
But in order to buy this servant, in order to get this slave, you need to do one thing.
Stand up. Get off your butt. Brush off the dust. And walk away.
I'm not telling you to forget, I'm not telling you to ignore it, to bury it. Just to walk away. Do not let it be your future, and keep it in the past. Do not make the fact that you were raped your entire life. You might not like what I am saying, but you know it is true. It isn't healthy for you to linger on this, no matter how traumatizing it may be. So now is the time to act. It is time for you to conquer this, to beat this down. This thing already took the last six months of your life and your dignity. Don't let him get anymore of it.
You want me to save you, and I will. I will go back to Lucien, and tell him that you have just been going through something, and in time it will be better, but it will only get better if you let it be. That will save you from them. But that isn't enough. You have to do what I said, so that you can save yourself. And remember, if you fall, your falling on me.
Remember, you don't need to look over your shoulder, because all you will find is me. Whenever you look around the corner, you will find me fending off the bad. You don't have to worry about it, since now, it has to worry about me. So Anabel, I have begun my side of the bargain. Now it is time to live up to your end.
So please, do it for me. Please, do it for yourself. Please, do it so you can dream again. Please, do it so you can live again.
Please, Anabel.
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