Danganronpa: The Memelord of Hope's Peak High (Oneshot)
Author's Note: This is most likely going to be a one-shot, really depends if people like it. Just wanted to write something else rather than JJBA for the time being. (Non-Despair AU)
Speaking in Japanese: -Speaking in Japanese-
Thoughts: 'thoughts'
I looked at the clean white envelope on my desk. I felt this sort of irritation in my gut. Two times I've told them I didn't want to attend their school, even if it was literally the most prestigious academy in the whole world or so they called themselves. I've got nothing to prove to anyone, not the students there, not the teachers, and especially not my parents. Plus what did they want with me? I'm not a prodigy.
I just wanted to make memes. Well that's one of the things I do as a 'Memelord' as people and followers alike online keep referring me to.
I hated the fanbase that worshipped me.
The mindless normies flocked to my online persona like a barnacle on a ship and the 'dank memers' have made it a maxim to shape their way of life after my image. I hated both of them with the latter even more so, ironically.
It all started off fairly simple. After being kicked out and disowned by my parents for soiling the family name I've decided to do whatever the fuck I want. Those stuff including: messing with the public, making a cake out of rat babies, attempting to eat my whole pants and much more weird shit I can think of all the while I get it on film and then uploading it on 'UTube.'
People actually liked what I did and they were willing to pay me to continue 'my work.' So I decided to postpone me killing myself and just see how much farther I can go.
Snapping out of my thoughts I resolved to open the 3rd letter in a row that they sent me and just get it over with. The first envelope was an invitation, saying that I won a lottery and how I was the "Ultimate Lucky Student." I didn't read much nor did I care to. The school, from the quick research I did on Wikipedia, was in the 'Land of the Weebs': Japan. How was I a male citizen of the USA, chosen by a different country full of degenerates?
It all sounded retarded. Me? Go back to school? And fuck up my sleeping schedule? I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. In a fit of annoyance and a memeing mood, I had written: "FUCK OFF NIGGER" with a marker on the letter. I knew it was edgy and needlessly racist but I had to make myself look unappealing and hopefully make them pick another candidate. And just as an added bonus, I had laced the inside of the envelope with coyote urine put the letter in and sent it back.
But just a few days after that, the damn school had sent their 2nd letter. That time for some reason I decided to read the whole thing. In a nutshell they explained how I was never supposed to be in the lottery due to a mix up, which was very confusing since I don't go to school anymore for 3 whole years and to which the said lottery was exclusive to Japanese students, but due to the 'crude' message I sent back to them they did a background check on me and found out of what I've been doing on the internet.
They still wanted me to be in Hope's Peak. Not only have they dubbed me as the "Ultimate Lucky Student" but also as the "Ultimate Memelord" and would still like to invite me to their school despite my offenses of perfuming their office with the coyote piss. Turns out, this school enrolls students based on their talents and how they are good with it. And by good I mean they have to be REALLY fucking good in what they do.
I rejected their offer again, and sent my own handwritten letter to them. To say the least, I said some even more nasty stuff and since the school was Japanese, I wrote my message in Japanese and I'm quite fluent. You'd be surprised how good you can speak Japanese after watching anime all your life. My letter was two pages worth of all the insults I knew. No coyote urine this time because I knew they were going to anticipate it.
Those 2 letters from Hope's Peak was a week ago. I thought I had successfully made them choose another dude, who wouldn't at this point? But that same problem was now glaring at me in the face. The third and final letter, I assume, from Hope's Peak.
Either it was a lawsuit from them or just another silly attempt of persuading me.
What will they say this time?
A Few Days Later…
They made a good deal.
In the end I accepted their invitation.
An all expense paid stay in Japan will do that to ya, especially to a weeaboo like me.
And I guess I'll admit it'd to satiate my curiosity of seeing other ultimates. It'll be like visiting a zoo. But the zoo being quieter and having those sexy ass alligators. I have a reptile fetish, sue me.
I had just woken up in the apartment that the school has rented out for me. The building was a few blocks from the academy so it was pretty convenient, only problem is that I'm not the only ultimate in the complex. You see, the headmaster thought that it would be good idea or me to get to know my future classmates better by bundling all of us up in one building.
We're all neighbors.
Luckily by the time I arrived to the flat it was at night and everybody was asleep. I didn't like dealing with new people.
Today was the start of class, I didn't have time to sightsee because of me stalling for a whole week. I suppose it was my fault on that.
Whenever someone hears 'Memelord' they usually think of an obese individual that's most likely living in they're mom's basement. You know, the stereotype. Now I don't mean to act all high and mighty but I like to believe that I have a good personal hygiene. Looking at myself in the mirror I'd rate myself a solid 7.5/10.
I never really cared about fixing my hair too much so it was always in a black mess. Sleep was a factor I never take into consideration for the past 3 years of me living alone, which of course lead to these black circles under my eyes. Pimples weren't exactly a problem for me as I just kept on washing my face the moment they started appearing.
"Hrngggh." I groaned as I stepped out of the shower.
Bad idea to spend my whole night announcing to my 'fans' that I'm not going to making consistent videos for my whole school year due to 'personal reason'. I purposely didn't tell that I'm attending Hope's Peak, the less information the better. Skits aren't the only things that I make as a 'Memelord,' whenever inspiration hits I make 'quality maymays' and people would 100% praise it as if it's the second coming of Christ.
I don't think being a memelord is a talent it's more often a curse than a blessing, as I can't stand acting like a decent human being for 5 minutes. I always find myself in a puddle of my own degenerating moral compass.
But hey, Hope's Peak is Hope's Peak.
Not really thinking at the moment, I grabbed whatever clothes I had in my luggage, which I hadn't bothered unpacking last night.
And of course: my trusty crocs.
I don't care what people say. "Oh, crocs are gay!" "LOL what are you, a virgin?" "Kindly remove yourself from the gene pool."
Fuck off. Comfort is better than Design. Period.
The room of my apartment was fairly luxurious compared to the old buildings I used to sleep in. A flat inch TV, a mini fridge, a comfy one-person bed, and a balcony overlooking the whole place did wonders to me. Over by the corner was my pc setup, I never could live without it.
And like all good things it must come to an end. Or leave it for a few hours or so. With me done putting on my clothes, albeit carelessly, I felt a warm feeling of genuine happiness. Sure I've had my fun being the almighty meme master of the internet but in the end, it isn't something I'm proud of.
Maybe attending this school will help me in the long run. A chance to start over and make friends with these people, and lord knows I need face-to-face human interaction.
Mentally readying my Japanese vocabulary, I opened my door as I grabbed my school bag filled with books that the academy has graciously provided to me in my room, feeling excited and anxious of the type of people I get to meet. Very out of character I know but that feeling in my gut just won't go away, it's basically infecting me at this point.
"-WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU MYSOGINISTIC WHITE MALE!?-" a loud obnoxious voice rang through the hallways.
Annddddd that destroyed my vibe. The pleasant feeling I had had plummeted out of my butthole. Should've gone through the window.
"-Well it's my opinion don't get your panties in a twist.-" Another equally obnoxious voice said but in a condescending tone.
"-Who do you think you are, saying those offensive stuff to her!?-" The girl who was yelling gestured to another female who was timidly sobbing on her shoulder.
Out in the middle of the corridor, right in front of my room, were three individuals. One boy and two girls. How I didn't hear them yelling in the first place from my room was beyond me. The three noticed my presence fairly quickly and turned their attention towards me.
The boy, for whatever reason, wore a pure black suit that was sharp enough to cut my wrists with. His black hair slicked back with gel and he wore sunglasses. A crooked smile seemed to be eternally plastered on his face and a lone red tie juxtaposed with his dark attire.
"-Ah, sorry to bother a fellow male and ultimate with my bickering here.-" The boy politely said to me.
He held out his hand for me to shake, to which I hesitantly shook "-The name's Tamai Kiemon, Ultimate Business Man at your service.-"
"-What seems to be the problem here?-" I asked slowly despite the growing feeling of annoyance. I haven't warmed up on my Japanese so it was a little sloppy.
"-This prick,-" The loud girl interrupted "-Was verbally assaulting poor Takagi-san here-"
The girl in question only hid behind her 'protector' clearly embarrassed.
"-Please, Miyamoto-san. You don't have to go this far…-" The shy girl whispered.
I mentally whistled 'Oof. First day of school and this shit happens.'
Just by being around these people I can already feel my ears and mind ringing.
"-O-Okay, just…-" I feebly croaked out. Concentrating was hard when you're dealing with mongoloids like these without coffee.
Then they had the balls to continue with their arguing. Completely forgetting me as if I was a used condom, I was used to being ignored sure but now they were practically yelling at my face. The only quiet one was Takagi now clinging on Miyamoto's, their name I presumed, arm.
But throughout the two's squabble, I noticed Takagi eyeing me the moment I left my room. The timid girl, along with her friend, wore a brown blazer with a white shirt underneath, a red tie tied under the shirt's color and a brown skirt.
Takagi had orange hair curled up to her shoulders and Miyamoto's hair was styled into a blonde dyed bob cut.
I had enough of their noise so I just left the building.
I never really got out much. Even if I did it was mostly if I was filming for a skit and I didn't bother much with the scenery of the outdoors.
Now that I've taken a break from my meme duties, I've finally noticed the beauty that is Japan. The cherry blossoms have begun to bloom and various other of nature's gift proliferated the sidewalk I was casually making my way through.
On the other side of the road I saw a group of students wearing the same uniforms as the two girls back in the apartment were wearing. I assume they were my…senpais.
God, I feel disgusting for saying that.
Speaking of which, what was I wearing? The Hope's Peak's staff told me that they don't have my uniform ready yet so I could wear anything I want.
I looked down to inspect my clothing.
A 9/11 t-shirt featuring the twin towers smoking from the airplane impact.
Great, super edgy. I first brought this shirt when I had the humor of an emo with down-syndrome. My pants were fine, and my crocs are still fine as shit.
Nearing the school I took out my envelope of admission and the I.D. provided to me. More and more students prowled the area. That means more people that I didn't want to deal with. Lo and behold as I walked towards the gates the students started noticing me, mostly from the 9/11 t-shirt I think but also as my status as a foreigner.
If there's anything I hate more than vegans, it's attention in public. I manage to make my skits because of the various masks I wore. No one knew who I was and that gave me the courage to do whatever idiotic shit my brain came up with.
But now I felt so vulnerable and open, all these squinty Asian eyes staring and silently judging me. I decided to just power walk my way to the gate. Normally I would've bellowed at them for ogling at me but I've thought against it, it's the first day of class so I'll go easy on them.
Hope's Peak Academy was huge I'll say that much and so unusually luxurious that I just feel bad for managing to be enrolled here. From the entrance I saw another male student.
No homo but if I were a girl I'd rate that guy 9.5/10 easily. Upon closer inspection I found out he was a whopping 6''5. I don't know how he made his uniform look good but he just did. The male uniform for Hope's Peak Students were just like the female's, only without skirts obviously.
The student's defining features were his sharp jawline, cleft chin, and beautiful blue eyes. His short wavy hair stuck out from different directions and he was pretty ripped. He was the very definition of a girl's wet dream.
But I'm not gay neither am I sociable. So I just walked past him, that guy's got looks though I'll give him that.
"-H-Hey!-" A deep and smooth voice called out to me.
I turned around, it was the student I was checking out a second ago. What did he want?
"-Umm… Sorry bother you but,-" He spoke in broken Japanese "-I lost and new, do you know way?-"
Well he was polite about it, and it was obvious he was a foreigner like me. "-Sorry, I'm new here too.-"
He nodded in understanding "-Is good. Not fault. Sorry waste time.-"
"Hey…can you speak English?" I asked.
The students perked up. "Can you?" he whispered.
"Yes I can."
"Oh thank the lord. That saves me a lot of effort."
He held out his hand for me to shake.
"I am King Arthur LXIX from the Kingdom of Nozozar," He proclaimed "I am the Ultimate King and its a pleasure to meet you. "
Holy shit, Royalty. Hope's Peak was no joke and no wonder he looks so fucking handsome. But I've heard that Kings and Queens resorted to incest to preserve the 'pure blood,' I'll ask him about that later.
"I'm guessing you're from the US right?"
I nodded "Yep."
He took out an envelope from the bag he was carrying and read from it.
"Says here that I'm in Class 79-A. What about you?"
I took out my own envelope "Woah, I'm in 79-A too."
To be honest I wouldn't mind being classmates with Arthur. He seems like a cool dude I can hang with and he certainly breaks my view of royalty having sticks far up their asses.
"That's great! We can look for our classroom together!"
"Sounds like a plan." I smiled.
Minutes later…
We were late as shit and still lost. The whole goddamn building was like a fucking labyrinth, we've asked multiple students for directions but that only made us get even more lost.
I was getting very desperate. Walking these corridors really hurt my flimsy pairs of legs and the growing irritation was beginning to show on my face. Good ol Arthur was still as patient as ever, which made me more irritated because it felt like I was letting him down. Fuck him and his great personality and looks.
I spotted another student and decided to ask one final time:
"-Excuse me,-" I tried my best to ask with my calmest tone "-Do you know where's Classroom 79-A?-"
Arthur kept silent as I asked questions from students. He told me he'd rather have me talk what with him still not being fluent in Japanese.
She let out a tiny shriek.
I flinched. What was her problem?
"-O-oh, I'm so s-s-sorry. I'm n-not used to t-talking with other students…-"
"-That's alright,-" I felt a migraine coming. "-J-Just… Class 79-A?-"
"-Oh…umm.-" She pointed behind me "-There?-"
I turned around. The door and the label '79-A' next to it sat there, as if they were mocking me for my ignorance and stupidity.
I let a long tired sigh escape from my lips. Me and Arthur had passed through this corridor so many times, and neither both of us noticed this?
The student then started to cry "-U-Um, I'm s-sorry… Did I g-get it wrong?-"
"-N-no it's just…-"
I balled up my fists, angry with myself. The girl seeing the gesture noticeably flinched, clearly frightened.
"-I'm sorry!-" she put up her hands as if to defend herself.
"-W-Wait! I wasn't going to hit you!-"
The student peeked from her defensive position, long streams of tears already running down her cheeks "-Y-you weren't?-"
Oh boy. This girl was a product of years of bullying and abuse.
"-I'm just…preparing myself for meeting my classmates. That's all. You know how nervous new students are,-" I soothingly told her, careful not to scare her further "-Also thank you very much for helping us.-"
A small smile appeared on her pale face. "-N-new students? W-w-welcome to Hope's Peak Academy. Hope we can be good friends…-"
"-Same to you.-" I smiled to her. I feel very out of character now, spreading positive vibes to people was not my thing.
Arthur subtley nudged me from behind. I looked at him and he flashed a smile at me.
"She likes you." He whispered so softly that only I could hear.
"Fuck off." I whispered back to him.
Before me and Arthur could go to our classroom, the student let out another squeak.
"-It's Mikan!-" she frantically called out to me.
"-Huh?-"
"-My n-name is T-Tsumiki Mikan. Ultimate N-Nurse.-"
"Oh shit!" Arthur cursed "I haven't asked for you name yet! I'm so sorry!"
Mikan flinched again by Arthur's outburst.
"It's alright." I assured him "I can tell it to both of you now.
"-My name is—-"
"-What are you two still doing outside!?-" a strict voice interrupted me.
Two hands roughly grabbed me and Arthur by the scruffs of our clothes and pulled us in the room. Leaving poor Mikan outside to her lonesome.
"-You're very late!-"
Gaining my bearings I saw that it was the homeroom teacher who dragged us inside.
"-It's your first day of school so I'm not going to punish you.-" He lectured me and Arthur in front of the whole class.
"-But you missed your classmates introducing themselves so now you two do the same!-"
I scanned the whole room, there were about 16 students, me and the 'Ultimate King' included. 8 boys and 8 girls. I recognized three people, them being: Tamai Kiemon, Takagi and Miyamoto. Of which all three of them waved at me. I lightly waved back.
The Teacher gently pushed Arthur forward, signaling that he was the first of the two of us to introduce themselves.
Most of the girls in the class erupted in a chorus of giggles and shouting, some blew kisses, winked, you name it. Everything about this guy was pussy magnet.
"-Hallo,-" Arthur stumbled on his Japanese "-I King Arthur of Nozozar. Sorry if I no good in Japanese, but promise to learn better soon. Ultimate King is my title.-"
That only made the girls swoon. Being adorable and royalty provided a waterfall of wetness from the female population from the class.
The homeroom teacher nodded. "-That'll do Arthur. You can sit on that vacant chair by the window.-"
Arthur reassuringly patted my shoulders before making his way towards his chair. At which point as soon as he sat down the girl next to the king started flirting with him.
I gulped down my anxiety. 'Shit' I thought as I felt everyone's gazes towards me. It was also the time that they noticed my offensive shirt. Most of them held back their laughter under a solemn façade while others openly guffawed. Miyamoto, the girl from the apartment, had the look of outmost disgust. The teacher raised his eyebrows but did not comment.
"-Uhh… Hi-"
I internally punched myself in the face. Now's not the time to be a pussy.
"-My name's Nathan Chapman and I'm the Ultimate—-"
"-Chapman? THE Chapman?-"
'Oh boy.'
The person who interrupted me was a girl. She had flaming red hair, freckles on her face, white skin, and green eyes and like her classmates she wore the same matching brown blazer.
"-Are you related to the great ROBERT Chapman?-"
I pursed my lips "-Y-Yes. He's my dad-"
The word 'Chapman' spread around my classmates like wildfire. My father was a world famous scientist, being credited for creating countless inventions that has revolutionized technology. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps, you can tell how that went through. From time to time however I always messed with his company by pulling pranks on them, just seeing him get mad always got me. It wasn't for revenge though, I just really wanted to bug him.
"-You don't have to tell us your talent.-" The redhead continued, who did she think she was? "-Ultimate Scientist right? It's obvious at this point.-"
"-And I assume your Talent is Ultimate Bitch?-" The students went wide eyed at my bold statement "-You seem to know a lot about my life. Why don't you come forward and be the one to introduce me?-"
The ginger grew red and silent in embarrassment.
I rolled my eyes. Some people.
"That's what I thought." I bitterly whispered.
Clearing my throat I continued my introduction. "-Yes I am the son of Robert Chapman, Nathan Chapman. And I'm the Ultimate Memelord-"
An awkward silence fell on the whole room. The only one who seemed to not give a shit was the homeroom teacher, which I'm guessing he was already informed of my title and behavior.
"-Me and my father are not in good terms for the past few years. He wanted me to be like him, while I just didn't want to. Hope we can be good friends.-" I murmured out the last part. I didn't want to be friends with these people. Only exception was Arthur.
"-Wait sooo,-" The ginger started talking again "-You wasted an opportunity to develop a prestigious talent from your father who was willing to help you—-"
"-What's your name?-" I calmly asked. The pressure in the room grew heavier. My mom used to say I had that effect on people, like a boss coming to check up on his employees. Maybe that's what helped me influence my viewer base.
The red haired girl looked visibly shaken, she knew she fucked up. "-S-Sandra Ivanov.-"
"-Ohhh.-" I nodded mockingly "-Foreigner too huh? You speak English too?-"
Silence.
"I'm asking a question." I said in perfect English with a menacing tone to top it all of "Do you speak English."
The whole class went rigid.
"Yes." She frantically said. Not wanting to anger me more than she has now.
"What's your talent Ms. Ivanov?" I curiously asked.
"….Ultimate Directress."
Oh, hey. I remember her now. She's the one who directed 'Fast Pace' one my favorite action movies, I'm always a sucker for fighting scenes. My anger for her softened, but only for a small margin.
"Okay, Ms. Ivanov. It's literally the first day of school and I don't want to deal with this kind of shit. Now as a fellow classmate I'm going to ask nicely, don't be a bitch."
She nodded swiftly.
"-Just as a warning to you all. Do you know of: 'Papa NC'?-"
The whole class stared at me with wide eyes and jaws dropping to their desk. They knew what was up.
'Papa NC' was my persona. The name itself held a lot of power in the web and with good reason, I've been the reason for the downfall of companies, careers and reputations of well-know families. All with the power of memes. Memes and shitposts.
"-That's right. I'm the Papa NC.-"
I can already see Sandra turning pale. She was already forgiven of course, she didn't know who the fuck she was messing with. Some boys in the class started fanboying with each other for having their 'idol' as the same class as them.
"-That'll do for your introduction Nathan. You can take the seat in the middle and then we can start the debriefing on your schedules.-"
As I walked towards my seat, I felt every gaze turn towards me. They all had looks of awe, fear, and respect.
It was gonna be a long year at Hope's Peak.
END
Students of Class 79-A
Males:
1. Nathan Chapman- Ultimate Memelord
2. King Arthur LXIX- Ultimate King
3. Okamoto Seitaro- Ultimate Otaku
4. Bando Tango- Ultimate Conspiracist
5. Shinsato Seiichi- Ultimate Hacker
6. Fujimura Kimi- Ultimate Engineer
7. Tamai Kiemon- Ultimate Businessman
8. Inai Tokugawa- Ultimate Tourist Guide
Females:
1. Miyamoto Fusae- Ultimate SJW
2. Haruyama Kumi- Ultimate Vet
3. Yasuda Homi- Ultimate Bodyguard
4. Takagi Raira- Ultimate Gardener
5. Tamura Enko- Ultimate Warden
6. Sandra Ivanov- Ultimate Directress
7. Moto Fuyu- Ultimate Bodybuilder
8. Tanji Chiharu- Ultimate Occultist