Old book loving demon permanently stuck possessing lesser bookworm: a scrawny human looking for a female companion for companionship, cooking, house cleaning, laundry, answering the door and to battle wits with.
If interested please fill in your application and send into 616 Street Street.
"Let's see. I got a notepad. Pencil. Table. The normal atmosphere of my domain, to show them what to expect should they fit my standards. And of course my former prison in a glass dome so my dear friend, Klug, can watch." Strange Klug chuckled at himself, seeing his former kinda-sorta-I'm-gonna-blame-you-anyway captor.
Klug tried escaping.
"Ahaha! I'm afraid this is your punishment for failing that spell." He wagged his finger. "Though, thinking about it more, you have had the worst of this predicament, haven't you?"
The purple spirit nodded, tearing up.
"Hm… Perhaps I'll give you a body someday, to show you how to it right." *Glass Knock* The demon picked out a book out of pity for Klug to read.
Here it comes. Strange Klug managed to get nine possible candidates. Surely they would find one that fit the bill.
He got himself ready for the first interview. "Will A. Nadja proceed! Doesn't matter which one." He called. The first on the list was one A. Nadja. That name sounded familiar… And for some confounded reason, there are two of them on the list. Sisters? "One at a time please."
Half a minute later a girl entered the room. It was Arle, a girl slightly older than Klug. Both Klug and Strange Klug barely knew her. She's supposedly from another world.
"Arle. You don't look happy to see me."
The girl groaned in response. Shrugging as well. "Ya got me. 'Cause I don't wanna be here. Amitie and Ringo thought it be funny to sign me up." She's muttering to herself. "Reunited with an enemy of mine in the waiting room too."
"Aha." Strange Klug pretended to listen. "Have a seat." He gestured.
And the girl listened. Waving to Normal Klug.
"So I get you're not here on your own will, but I'd prefer it if you you'd still go through it."
"Fiiiine." She sighed. Putting her elbow on the table and her cheek on her knuckles.
"Can you cook? Are you good at cleaning? How about laundry? Can you solve this puzzle on sight? How powerful is your magic? Is this scrawny body attractive to you? Can you answer the door in time?"
"Yes. No. Avoid it as much as possible. None, they both get nothing. Don't know, people are after my power despite that there are more powerful around. Hmmm, I don't hate it. Yes.
"Hmmm. I'm afraid you are not up to my standards. Good day."
"'Kay thanks." It wasn't sarcastic.
"Send in A. Nadja, the other one."
If Strange Klug didn't see both of them exchanging glares he wouldn't believe there were two of them. 'Must be twins.'
On closer inspection, adjusting his glasses he noticed clothing and color differences. He must get new glasses if he somehow missed that.
"Am I wrong to guess you don't get along with her sister?"
The girl in red glared at him, gritting her teeth.
"Did I offend?"
"Yeah, you did! She's my evil clone that took my life away!" She yelled.
"If you say so, Arle. Have a sea-"
"Say that again."
"Say what again, Arle?"
Doppelganger Arle basked in the moment.
'Quite the different tastes for a clone...' "You're more desirable than the other Arle. I'll give you that." He said very deadpan, writing down the positives and negatives.
"Yes!" Doppelganger Arle couldn't care less how apathetic he sounded. It's been a while she was this happy. "So do I get it?"
"I'll let you know. Please bring in Ms. Accord."
"Okay."
'You're just a bit too crazy. You'd make a passable candidate otherwise.' Next on was Klug's teacher… 'H. Accord. This should be interesting.' The demon smiled. 'Perfect in fact.'
There she was, and she looked immediately flushed to be here. "Oh my, Klug." "Salutations, Professor Accord have a seat." Strange Klug smiled.
"Uh… I really shouldn't be here. I was expecting someone of my age. Goodbye." She left. Not wanting a relationship with one of her students.
'So much for that… She reminds me so much of her.'
This next candidate… She would not sit down. Dusting everything off, sweeping, cleaning polishing even down to the graphite particles Strange Klug left behind writing down her quirks.
A few minutes later, Strange Klug tried interrupting the maid again. "So are you taking a seat yet, Miss Kikimora? Or should I wait 'till next summer?"
"I can talk and clean at the same time." Even without the talking this dame was checking a lot of boxes. But maybe a bit too obsessive… 'She's got talent polishing the fragile antiques Klug had collecting dust within mere seconds. It's perfection. She's a maybe.'
"Well… I think. Um… That I would like toooooo… I'm good at uuuh… Nevermind. I don't know much… I-I can sow… I can cool you down in the hot summer day. I always try to be tidy… I s-screw up sometimes. I-I like pretty flowers."
Strange Klug couldn't curb his impatience with the humanoid. He rubbed his fingertips against his forehead. "Lidelle…" He groaned trying to maintain his patience. Making the small girl clam up. "If this is too much for you, then just leave." He pointed at the door as calmly as he could.
"Oh but I really wanna… Eep!"
Strange Klug stared into her eyes making direct eye contact while crossing his arms was the moment Lidelle realized she had too much on her plate.
"I-I'm gone." She left hiding her head in her sleeves.
'Shame, I'd be perfectly content with if it wasn't for her crippling personality flaw.' Strange Klug knew her well enough to come to that conclusion.
Not even a second passes before Strange Klug had an objection. "I asked for a female."
"Yet you let me slip through the cracks. Hmhmm…" This flamboyant skeleton rubbed him the wrong way.
"How was I supposed to recognize you under a pseudonym? You're male, aren't you?"
"Tsk tsk. And here I thought you were the smarter one of the Klugs. How often have you read a book with skeletons in them and automatically assume its male." Seems like Oshare Bones was offended.
"So… You are female?"
"Formally male." He got back into a good mood.
'He's messing with me…' He was not amused.
"Gender only matters to a Skeleton if it's deeply attached to your identity."
"So unisex?"
"Bingo." The animated collection of bones winked.
"I never thought about it like this." 'Not that I ever had a reason to. Still, very interesting.'
"I'm afraid you're not the ideal choice I'm afraid."
"That's a crime… Was looking forward to dating such a handsome boy. You ab~so~luuuuuutlyyy rock that outfit." He blew a kiss.
"D-Dating?!"
"Yowch!"
The next girl plucked some hair off his head. "Thanks, I could make tons of potions so water can drown itself. Heheheheheeeee!" The long-haired blonde clad in purple-ish blue left just like that.
"Crazy witch."
"Hm… You're not a bad candidate, Miss Tamura. But I have but one question. Why are whispering? Lost your voice?"
"Oh thank goodness no." She spoke up to prove it. "It's just people don't like my singing. And I really want this job."
"Job?"
"Wanna hear me sing?" She begged.
Strange Klug complied. "I'm sure your voice is beautiful." He wasn't sure, but he loves going to an opera.
Miss Y. Tamura cleared her throat and hovered with her wings. "Ha-ra hiré ho-ré ha-reeeeeeeeeeé!~"
The whole of Primp Town suddenly felt miserable whether they knew it or not. Strange Klug was in agony. 'So tone deaf! And so loud!' Normal Klug's dome shattered, along with his ghost glasses. Strange Klug's glasses broke as well. Lucky no windows.
"STOOOOOOOOOP!" The red-clad demon slammed his fists onto the table to make a point. "I can see why everyone calls you Harpy! Out!"
"Everyone's a critic." Harpy pouted, flying off.
"You wicked banshee."
"Yu rang?!" A ghost jumped scared the demon due to flying through the table.
"Gyaaaaah!" *Catching breath* "How long have you been there?"
"Waiting for my queue!"
'This ghost is energetic, interesting. How does a ghost have the capacity to be energetic?'
"I'm here to house sit your house with my bro Rei like yu offered. Name's Yu, by the way."
"Hmm… Intriguing. Sit down please."
"You don't pass, I can tell you that much already."
"Aaaaaw. C'moooooooooon. This is a nice place, it's gonna haunt us if you won't let as haunt you."
"I'm sorry, thinking about it I don't want to come across as a phasmophile, geotophile, paegephile and a geliophile."
"Come on, wouldn't it be a thriller if you let me and my bro haunt your house? We'll take really good care of it! We'll scare everyone away you don't want near. If you lose anything we'll tail it in a jiffy. Just call us In-Spectre Yu and Dead-tective Rei. Yu know Yu want it.
"Out!"
"Aaaw."
Strange Klug was looking over the choices he had left. "Kikimora is the best option…" This did not sit well with him. He turned to his side. At the broken dome.
"Mind being my servant, Klug?"
Normal Klug raised an eyebrow.
"You'll get a body out of it."
Klug lit up like a flashbang, anything's better than this prison he nodded.
"Fufufufu~ Good, but no complaining or I'll clip the body of magic."
In the end, they hired Kikimora as the maid and Yu (Rei too) haunted the place anyway. So they're the winners by default.
But the real "winner" was Normal Klug. He became a good looking woman named Klug. She didn't like it, her brains were up there. Stayed with Strange Klug of her own free will which she retained, along with a lot of freedom.
And they were platonically, lovelessly, bickerly, awkwardly, but happily civilly unioned…
Happy eeeeeeeeeeeeend?…
Author's Notes:
This is kinda the filler chapter I had this idea of self contained (But universe sharing) anthologies featuring the final bosses (Minus Ex, 'cuz of Tee, who I ain't gonna do). Had this planned since '¿Ecolo Remembers?' I had a hard time with Strange Klug. Popoi's next up whenever I get to that.
Rafisol's gonna be a toughy. May need help with that one.
Please forgive Strange Klug, he's from a different time.
Scrapped:
Dark Arle
Rafiso/Ally
Ringo