Hehe~ Another manual fic~
But i'm draging my twin cousin into this also!
Apparently i have apsolutely no choice in the matter...
Oh, build a bridge and get over it! We should explain the 'twin' part...
We are exactly one week apart from eachother, and were raised together
Cuz our family used to live in the same area when we were little
But i moved to the beach and she stuck it out in the mountains
Bastard ditched me..
Anyways! On we go!
We own nothing...except maybe the computer..
"This is your fault.." a black haired girl growled, glaring at her self proclaimed twin.
"Eheheh~ Sorry, Rena~" the brown haired girl laughed nervously, scratching her head.
The two were staring at a large box that had showed up on their doorstep. "Gramps would be rolling in his grave..Riley, why must you check out every pop-up? Wasn't the 'snuggie' add enough?" Rena asked, crossing her arms slightly.
"B-but it was fun! We used them as jedi robes and cut pool noodles into light sabers and had an epic battle!" Riley protested.
Rena rolled her eyes, "I don't get the appeal of such boring shos as Star wars or Star Trek for that mater."
Riley gasped, "You haven't even watched it! Don't dis what you don't know!"
"Like you have?" Rena retorted, causing the other to smile sheepishly. She sighed, "Right. Well, we can't send it back, but we don't know what's in it and it might not be safe to open.."
"Ooh! Lookie! A manual!" Riley exclaimed, finishing her circling of the box.
"ALFRED F. JONES: User Guide and Manual" Riley read as her twin got one of those wierd trolly-thingies to take the box inside.
"Does it say how to open it?" Rena grunted, glaring at the other. She could have helped!
"Yup!..here!
Your ALFRED F. JONES unit is a happy, energetic unit - for the most part - and there are rarely any problems with waking him up. It is impossible to accidentally knock him into a dangerous mode when removing him from his package; the most you need to worry about is him being too happy and energetic. In order to avoid that, we have provided you with a few ways that you can wake him carefully and get right to work on any reprogramming you might want to do!
1. Play the American national anthem, or any patriotic American song. Loudly. Your unit will respond immediately, singing horribly out-of-tune until the song is over; you can reprogram him during this time, and the faster you do this the faster he'll stop singing.
2. Put on a kid's superhero show or movie (preferably Superman or Batman) loud enough to be heard down the street. Your unit will whine for you to let him out of the box, and will run to the television as soon as you do. While he watches, you can reprogram him; however, be warned that if your chosen superhero is prone to striking heroic poses, your unit might jump up and do them as well.
3. Speak with a British accent or in Russian. ALFRED F. JONES will reply positively to the first one, and a little coldly to the second, but he will get up anyway.
4. Turn on his Tony unit. He'll insult you, ALFRED F. JONES will wake up shaking with laughter, and you'll be able to reprogram him then." Riley read aloud.
"We can do the anthem one.." Rena mumbled, disapearing upstairs to grab her laptop. Personally, Rena loved the national anthem, it sent shivers down her spine every time she heard it, but she wasn't looking forward to hearing it sang off-key. She dutifully played the song though.
"Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's lasted gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O 'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming."
Halfway through, another voice broke in and started singing along.
"And the rockets` red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.!"
"I think he's awake." Riley stated, and her twin huffed her irritation. Still peeved about the song being decimated.
"Let's just open the box so he'll stop making my ears bleed." She stated, and Riley nodded enthusiastically. Together they opened the box, causing the thing inside to fall out.
"Hiya, i'm Riley and this is my twin Rena. Don't mind her attitude, she's not awake yet! She'll be less pissy when she's had her pepsi~" Riley greeted, grinning at the person now rubbing his head, completely ignoring the other girl's grumbling.
"I am Alfred F. Jones! I am the United States of America! And I'm the Hero!"He cried, jumping up to strike a pose with his thumb jabbing his chest.
"No way! You're our country! That is epic!" Riley cheered, hugging the unit. Rena looked at the two as she bent over to pick up the forgotten manual, flipping through it as the two started a debate on whether Batman could beat Spiderman. "Hey! Rena, who'd win Batman or Spiderman?"
"Neither, Flash could beat both of them." She retorted.
"But that wasn't a choice!" America whined, Riley nodding her agreement.
"We're gonna make use of your card, Micky Dees is for breakfast. Remember, breakfast, so there's no burgers yet." Rena said grabbing the keys then turning to America, "You're driving. Kill us and i'll haunt you for the rest of your natural and unnatural life."
"Lets go! I want pancakes! And orange juice!" Riley cried, tugging the two, over looking the man's suddenly pale face. When they were all seated, buckled and driving toward McDonalds, America reached for the radio.
"No!" Rena cried, blushing furiously.
"'Cuz the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that awaaaay!
and i'm proud to be an american
where at least i know i'm free!"
America turned to grin at the girl, "So you're patiotic then?"
"EYES ON THE ROAD!" Rena shrieked, completely mortified. It was one thing when your bestfriend/twin knew you were patriotic, another thing entirely when it was you actual country.
"Wow, i didn't know you could yell that high!" Riley said, clapping from the back seat. "Lookie, the home of the only okay clown in the world!" She cheered, pointing out McDonalds even as the car was going into the drive-thru.
"I want a mcgridle, and pepsi, coke if they don't have pepsi." Rena said, cutting off Riley's rambling of breakfast choices.
"Okay! Three Mcgridles! One with bacon the other with sasuage! And a pancake and bacon combo! Orange juice, two apple juices and a pepsi!" America, basically, shouted at the poor guy.
"Alright! Let's go home~ We need to find you a room!" Rena cheered, alternating between eating her breakfast and drinking her soda.
America stared at her for a moment.
"EYES ON THE ROAD!" Rena shouted again.
"I never taken her in, but i think she's bipolar." Riley said, patting the guys shoulder. "Welcome to the family!"
"Thank you." America said, though it sounded a bit like a question.
"But then again, it might just be the car, she get motion sickness from time to time. She refuses to drive unless absolutely nessacery.." Riley continued.
"Home." The other girl groaned, having finished her food and drink already to no longer be distracted from the face she was in a car and there was no air. "Never again.." she moaned, sliding out of the car to curl up on the ground.
"Get up! You promised we'd watch T.V. together!" Riley yelled, dragging the now flailing teen, a laughing America following with the trash, as everyone inhailed their food on the way.
"Nooooo! Lies all lies! I'm been cheated! Conned! Defiled!" Rena cried, struggling to get out of the other's grip as the door was unlocked. "Fine!BUt we're not watching the Dark Knight again! We're gonna watch Pirates of the Caribean: At World's End." she huffed, sitting on their couch, trying to ignore the whining from the other two. "You can watch what ever after, but i'm only watching the one."
Hours later and Rena decided that she was to soft, they had watched all the Pirates of the Caribean movies, then the Spiderman movies, then Harry Potter, and then the Dark Knight anyways. "That's it, we just wasted the day on movies and junk food, i'm going to sleep!" She cried heading upstairs to bed.
Leaving the two who had decided to move onto scary movies.
Rena twitched as her bedroom door creaked open. Glancing at the clock she mentally growled, it was past midnight. "Yes?" She asked rolling over to stare at the shaking nation before her, a pillow and teddy bear in hand.
"I-i...c-can i-i s-s-sleep w-with you? T-to p-p-prot-tect y-you! I-i'm the H-h-hero after all." America asked, seeming ready to burst into tears as he clug to the stuffed animal.
Rena considered saying no, after all it was his fault for watching something he couldn't handle, but she disregarded that thought. It would be like throwing a sick puppy out into a blizzard, just not right. "Drool on me and i'll hurt you.." she grumbled, rolling back over to snuggle into her stuffed dog.
With a sigh she fell asleep, barely registuring the bed shifting weight.
Mom, i know you said not to let a guy, expesially older then me, sleep in bed with me, but i couldn't say no. Forgive me?
Ahah~ She's a softie~
Shut up.
Nya! Maybe you are bipolar.
This was based off LolliDictator 's Manuals.
Check it out, be amazed and awed!