Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit, just for fun. Includes course language and mature situations. Applies to all chapters.
I'm not sure what keyed me into Gil and Sara. There wasn't anything obvious; no touching, no slip about their familiarity with each other's homes. It was just one too many long looks. Or the convenience of picking up lunch for the other when I know it was not requested. Since when did Gil cue in to another person so completely that he knew her preferred lunch order? God, the man could never remember whether I liked red or white wine with dinner. But he would smile when he handed her a sandwich, and watch her through the glass when she worked in the lab across from his office. He never seemed to get that he could be seen through the same glass.
I would walk into his line of sight deliberately, reporting on some trivial detail from a case, or to question him when I knew the answer. Just to see that look I knew wasn't meant for me anymore. It was never meant for me, if I'm honest. Gil played with me because he knew my value to the lab, and he knew he could keep me here when every instinct told me to flee Las Vegas. Twice. And so now I try to catch that affection in his eye for a moment before he comes back to the task at hand. Fortunately, Gil is not known for being a little absent minded without reason, and for now, it is enough. Just to see that warms me. But I know it won't be enough for long.
I keep thinking I should let someone know. Let it slip in the break room. Hell, tell Ecklie. Let him sort it out. I suspect, no, I know there are regulations prohibiting just such behavior. But telling Ecklie, or anyone, would bring it back around on Gil as much as it would on her. I'm not ready to do that to him. I am mad as hell at him, but I still hope maybe, maybe someday he'll see me again.
It is pathetic, I know. More so because after watching him watch her for a few weeks, I started to doubt myself. Maybe what I thought I saw was not real, maybe the looks were just Gil being Grissom. So I did something extraordinarily stupid. I followed him home one night. I just wanted to wait and see her arrive at his place after shift. I thought I would leave then, just so I knew for sure. But as I sat there in front of his apartment building I knew it was not going to be enough for me to just know. As I sat there watching the lights go off in his living room and come on in his bedroom, I knew exactly what he was doing to her. The way his introspective gaze would turn on her as she stripped. The way his hands traced details on her skin that no one had taken the time to notice before. And that beard; the fat lady by the pool was right; Gil certainly had everything he needed to please a woman. I knew I needed to try to get him back. I needed him.