Long time no upload!!
Well, my very first Naruto fanfic!! So be easy, neh? From a story my friend told me the other day, and I cracked up.
Enjoy!
Times sure had changed since he had gone to Konoha's Ninja Academy
Times sure had changed since he had gone to Konoha's Ninja Academy. It seemed as though these kids had just learned their hand seals, and yet, here they were sitting expectantly before him, awaiting the mystical, wondrous world of "Life Sciences" to be unfurled before them. He hadn't figure out what it was until much, much later.
With the client demand for difficult missions escalating drastically in the past few months, the village had exhausted nearly all the jounin of their ranks, and had to turn to chunins and genins. Of course, to keep up with the wild demand, the kids had inevitably ended up neglecting their schoolwork.
"Well now," Tsunade had answered him, when he struggled to get out of the "request"," the village can't possibly be expected flourish by nurturing an flock of witless idiots, now can it Ibiki?"
"With all due respect, Tsunade-sama, I'm sure their parents would have objec--"
"IBIKI!!" Tsunade roared. "You are a ninja. Ninjas serve the village. Ninjas listen to their Kage. And.."
A smirk of pure evil crept across her lips; she was clearly delighted with herself.
Ibiki nearly died.
"What better way to help these kids than to teach them how to make another batch of ninjas?"
War veteran Ibiki, with all his look-at-my-gold-medals-and-kiss-my-scarred-ass glory, had promptly fainted.
Groaning, he massaged his temples. He had to slip it in very, very slowly, so that--
"Outta my way, old timer!!"
Oh God. Please, Bhudda, Jesus, Amaterasu, Chuck Norris, and any other deity he had forgotten--
"All right kiddies, listen up!!"
--don't let it be her.
Ibiki opened his eyes.
"I'll be your Sex Ed teacher!!"
A chorus of gasps and giggles erupted among the students.
Leaning back in a chair with her feet propped up on the desk,
Was Anko.
...One birthing movie later….
Anko faced twelve aghast faces, smiling brightly."So that about wraps it up!! Now, who wants to label a penis?!" she exclaimed.
Ibiki coughed loudly behind her, passing out the packets.
"What, it's scientific!!"
A small, mousy girl, one of the quietest of the bunch, Anko knew, shyly raised her hand.
Eh, how ironic…. Anko mused.
She nodded expectantly. "Um, t-teacher, can my mommy get pregnant?" she asked.
"Well, that depends. How old is she?"
"Thirty six," Hinata answered.
"Then yes, your mother can get pregnant."
A few minutes later, while the class was trying to make sense of their diagrams, Hinata's hand rose again. "Teacher, can my friend's sister get pregnant?"
"How old is she?"
"Seventeen," Hinata told her.
"Yes, she can get pregnant," Anko replied.
Hinata ducked her head down, ears blazing. She was positively sure now that her face was a rose mask!!
"Erm… A-Anko-sensei? One m-more question p-please…."
Anko nodded.
"C-can I get p-pregnant?"
Anko burst out laughing. "Nope, sweetie you're only ten. Nice try, though."
A raven haired boy tapped her on the shoulder, his dark eyes twinkling.
"See, I told you there was nothing to worry about."