Jane stood in the small room, looking out across the harbor. As much as she wanted to do what she set out to, she couldn't. Not for her sake, but for Daria's. She eased the safety on and pulled the shotgun from under her face, then stubbed the cigarette out on her arm. Moments later, her skin was already clearing, the charred skin fading fast.
-Jane, please stop doing that. It disturbs me, and I'm undead-
"Shut up, Daria. Or I'll leave you when you sleep" Or whatever it is you do. Jane felt her best friend's thoughts in her mind as clear as vocal conversation. The last six months were beyond description. Jane looked at her arm, a familiar moment of insanity slipped in as she wondered if her body could heal everything all at once.
-It's not sleep. I never need it anymore. And I'd rather you not try that last theory. Immolation would seem unpleasant-
"Daria, not now. I know you like proving how good your mind is now that you don't have to touch me to communicate, but please... I need some peace."
-As you wish, Amiga-
Jane felt the caress of Daria's mind exit her own, and within seconds she felt the faint tickle of insanity reaching for her. Sometimes it seemed the only time Jane didn't feel it was when Daria was linked to her. Jane took a deep breath and looked back outside, entranced by the sunset's gorgeous colors; grey, bronze, yellow... And red. Blood red. Jane once loved the color; now it was too commonplace, even the thick, half congealed syrup that oozed from the re-animated things she killed. Not killed. You can't kill the dead.
Jane chuckled over her thoughts, then she turned around and leaned against the window, shutting the colors out.
Jane reached down and pulled up her shotgun, a heavily used Remington 870, and loaded two more shells. Each time she picked up a shell, she pondered whether it was destined to be the one she would use on herself.
Every couple minutes, she would turn and watch the sun drop lower; all she could think of how lonely she was, even considering Daria's presence. She could feel the love between them strongly, even considering her undead friend's appetite had brought them to a city teeming with zombies, many times more populated than Lawndale.
"I would never have thought I'd be living out the movies we once watched." Jane spoke softly, but she knew Daria would hear it, regardless of where she was. Maybe not hear- maybe just feel it.
-I miss Lawndale. Baltimore is good for eating, though. And there aren't as many packs of dogs running around. I didn't know you were afraid of dogs now-
"Heh, the dogs"' Jane slipped another cigarette out, lighting it with a Zippo and watching the tobacco take, grey smoke curling upward.
"The dogs mauled me good, but now look at me. I get cut, bit, scraped" Hell, lost half my hand to that Rottweiler. "And when I fell down the stairwell... You saw my leg and the angle it was bent. Now look."
Jane stuck her leg out, the muscles now more evident than they once were. Many fine scars crossed her limbs, but they were all faded as if a decade old, not less than a year.
Jane held up her right hand, looking at the scar crossing across the palm. Three fingers and half her palm slightly pinker than the rest, but fully usable. "I don't understand how it works. I guess in another time I'd try to be a super hero or something. Jane Lane, The Unbreakable Bimbo."
-Considering the destruction you leave, maybe Calamity Jane is more appropriate-
"Shut up, you undead bitch. Or I'll blow my head off."
Jane idly wondered if she'd even die then. Nothing else worked. Slashing her wrist both across and up her arm, cutting her own throat... Everything she tried failed. When Daria used her axe to cut the rope Jane hung herself from, Daria made it clear she did not want to lose her. Daria was in many ways becoming motherly, always trying to watch out for Jane's safety.
-You're such a brat. I can see your body heat through the wall, fondling that shotgun of yours-
"Daria, it's all I can fondle. No guys around, at least none I want to screw." Jane thought briefly of the various boys she'd dated, now all rotting corpses or roaming undead, attacking anything at first sight, leaving only the strongest and fastest to feast again.
-Only the fastest and strongest, eh? What does that make you, Jane? You've outlasted all of them-
"I'm lucky. Lucky I have you, the smartest and sanest person left." She tried not to think of all the people she'd seen dead or destroyed. Jane pulled an oilcloth out of her bag and set about cleaning the shotgun, trying to avoid all the souls staring back at her when she closed her eyes.
-I'm not a person, Jane. I'm roving undead, whether or not you want to believe it-
"Undead or not, you're still the smartest one that's left."" Jane had realized before they left Lawndale she was going insane. Why else would she share her sleeping quarters, wherever it was, with an undead flesh-eating zombie?
-Oh, so now I'm not worth sharing a room with? Just a zombie. If I had a beating heart and working tear ducts, I'd cry my heart out at you-
Jane flinched; Daria's words hurt her even though she knew they were meant to be construed as humor. She set her shotgun down finally after wiping it clean. More of the creepy feeling she was sinking further into an abyss crept across her mind.
"I'm sorry, Daria. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You can read my mind." You know I'm telling the truth. Jane reflected that the communication had actually increased her closeness to Daria. She might not have any more secrets; she also knew she didn't care.
-I know you are. I'm sorry for being sarcastic-
Jane felt Daria coming up the steps to her room. That was another thing that happened in Lawndale. They always knew where the other one was.
"Hey, sweetie-pie. You smell lovely. Death and lilacs." Jane giggled, then realized her shotgun was pointed at Daria's chest. She didn't even remember picking it back up from where it sat by the oilcloth. She lowered it quickly.
-Thanks, Amiga. And thanks for not blowing my breasts off-
The sun finally dropped below the horizon, and Jane felt Daria come close, close enough to smell the faint cloying smell of decay that pervaded Daria's hair. Jane was actually starting to like it.
-Sick, Lane. You really are insane. But I still love you-
"Daria, I know you have to feed, but before you go, can we please... Can you touch me? When we link our minds..." It keeps me from the edge. Jane reached out and touched Daria's hand, opening the floodgates of their minds.
-Thanks Daria. I still don't know how this link works, but it pulls me from the brink of true insanity. I almost emptied Bertha into my mouth. I don't know if my healing can handle growing me a head-
-I know Jane. That's why I'm here. I always be here for you-
-Even to eat my corpse when I die?-
-Let's not talk about that. I need to feed-
"How's the food going? Do I need to hunt tomorrow?" Jane sat on a stool near the bed she'd be sleeping on. The sheets were still fairly clean, and to be honest, Jane didn't care too much anymore about cleanliness.
-Enough to last a couple days, I'm sure-
Jane looked out the window and saw several lurkers already shambling about far down the ally. The doors downstairs were inches-thick steel, reinforced with rebar Jane welded in place. There were no windows on the first floor.
She picked up her shotgun and grabbed a razor-sharp hunting knife, thrusting the latter in her thigh-sheath, and walked after Daria.
"Amiga, we have company headed this way. I think we've overstayed our welcome, and I can't sleep when they beat on the doors."
-I can't let you out. I can't risk you falling to them-
Jane stood in the hallway, hating herself and hating the world for letting her exist this way.
-Don't hate yourself. There's a reason you lived-
Suddenly Jane felt her composure fail. In an instant rage was bubbling over, seeking a voice of its own through Jane. "Oh shut the hell up. What the hell is up with you? Ever since you died, you've become more philosophical! You and your god-damned 'Jane, there's a reason you lived' crap. Shut the HELL up!"
Jane threw the shotgun across the hall and onto the bed, then dropped her utility belt on the floor. She twisted in agony as the images of the last... However long it's been... Forced their way to her conscious. Within moments, she was on the bed in a fetal position, her body shaking as she sobbed.
-Poor Janey, your mind has warped- I can see it when we touch. You fall closer to the edge of the abyss every day-
Daria hefted her axe; Jane said it weighed almost nine pounds and was designed for a lumberjack contest, but to Daria it weighed nothing. She jumped down the stairwell and cracked the door open, seeing several lumbering versions of her dinner at the other end of the alley. They were still unaware she was there, but that would soon change.
A few minutes later, she stood over two corpses, axe in hand. She flicked it, shearing the first "snack' off and promptly devouring it. Then another, and finally she attacked in earnest, sating her desires for the flesh. The thought of eating people almost disturbed her, but her emotional state could best be described as realistic. She needed to eat, ergo, she did.
A movement caught her attention; it was a cat, tugging on the toes of the corpse she was dining on. When the cat sensed her, it didn't growl like most cats would; instead, it sniffed her once, then rubbed against her, purring. In fact it was the same cat Jane saved from the pack of dogs that mauled her when they attacked her in the stairwell. Jane had broken her back, one leg, and nearly bled to death as the dogs tried to make short work of her.
Daria took her time on the dogs, savoring the death of each one. Afterward, she carried Jane back up the steps and set her in the bath-tub. Jane was already healing, but she was covered in blood. Daria could still remember cleaning her the only way she could; Jane wasn't "moving" when the attack came.
Daria looked back at the cat, curious why it didn't run from her the way all other animals did.
-Interesting-
Another flick of the axe on the remaining pieces of the first corpse scared the cat. Daria watched the cat run away as she grabbed the fallen piece.
- I feel for Jane. She's so far gone I'm now the sane one, though eating a corpse can hardly be considered truly sane. But then, what am I? What explains my current condition? And why have I kept my sanity, not reverting to a shambling beast to be consumed by a solitary desire to feed? What makes me different?-
Daria moved to the next corpse, trimming as required with her axe.
-Delicious. Am I tasting this? It seems to actually have flavor, but I can't taste anything, all I do is crave this flesh-
When she finally finished, Daria unlocked the secured door and walked inside, re-latching and barring it when she closed it. The she walked up the stairs and went into the bathroom and showered, the cold water flushing the blood off her face and arms. Then, slowly, she went back upstairs and sat on the bed next to Jane. The body on the bed was on fire, glowing in the strange light it always did. Daria could feel the draw of her best friend's body, and she leaned in, basking in the furnace of Jane's figure.
Jane felt Daria leaning in on the bed and softly whispered, "Now?"
-Now what? I'm not going to eat you-
Jane lay there, terrified of what had become of her friend, yet she reached out and touched her anyway.
-Don't. Now is not a good time to link, Amiga-
Daria watched the bright figure on the bed convulse, then move away, as if offended. Daria had tried to block her thoughts of when she found Jane in the last building's stairwell, a twisted heap with several broken ribs, one even sticking out her back, a leg twisted completely around, and half her hand already chewed off by the pack of dogs. One of the dogs was already trying to take chunks out of Jane's torso when Daria jumped down three sets of stairs. Then the images of Daria killing the dogs, mutilating each one as she did so. Then carrying Jane up the stairs, setting her in the bathroom and cleaning her with..
"WHAT THE?" A pause, then Jane yelled, "You". GOD DAMMIT! You've tasted my blood! The dogs...
"You cleaned me up." Jane sat upright, looking into her friend's undead eyes while holding her arm. "You LICKED me clean? NOOOoooo!"
The link snapped as Daria stood up and jerked her arm from Jane's hands and ran out of the room.
Jane shrank back, terrified in the knowledge Daria's mouth had been all over her after the dogs mauled her.
-I told you I would never hurt you. I had no other way to clean you while your bones healed. Your clothes were shredded and I didn't have time to find something to stop the bleeding-
"Daria! Stay the hell away from me, you undead freak! Stay the hell out of my mind!" Jane fell back on the bed and curled into a fetal position, shaking uncontrollably.
There was no response.
When Jane woke up, she had a splitting headache. Some whiskey solved that, but per usual, it wore off too fast. It was like tobacco, a short-term fix. Even the heroin she found on a junkie had almost no affect.
"Damn body rejects the alcohol." She reflected on when she drank a slurry of rat poison and coffee to kill herself, and remembered how her urine was as black as the coffee she drank. She didn't even get sick from the poison.
When she went to the bathroom, Daria was sitting in the tub, naked, a towel wrapped around her hair and her hands. Jane stopped in her tracks and stared. Daria was moving slowly, trying to dry her hair.
The movement startled her; Jane ran back out to the hallway, but stopped at the stairwell. The front door was open, bars ripped part-way off, and the entire bottom of the stairwell was a scene of carnage. Limbs, torsos, and several other nondescript pieces were lying about, all cut clean. It appeared Daria went on rampage while Jane was catatonic.
A few minutes later, Jane opened a can of ravioli and dipped in with a spoon, not even warming it before she ate. By the time the can was empty, Jane was sated, so she got up and walked back to the bathroom. Daria was still in there, naked, but standing against the wall.
"Hey, freak. I'm taking a shower. Wanna watch?" She stripped down and turned the water on, jumping in and feeling the cold water steal her breath. She turned the water off to lather up, then turned it back on and rinsed off.
Daria wasn't 'talking' to her. When Jane reached out, Daria shifted sideways, avoiding her.
"Bitch. You want to play games, huh?" Jane tackled Daria, knocking her over. Their minds connecting instantly.
-I hate this existence. The only emotions I feel are yours. I know everything you know, and I can't do anything to satisfy your needs. All I can do is protect you while you sleep. What type of friend am I? One who can't even talk out loud -
-What type of friend? Undead, you bitch. I can't believe you freaking licked me clean-
Jane suddenly felt Daria's impossibly strong hands on her waist. Daria picked her up easily and gently set her down a few feet away.
-I could easily leave you. But I thrive in your presence, even as you lose your sanity and sense of self. Call it selfish, but I live vicariously through you-
Jane stood where Daria set her down, her naked body chilling as the water dried. Jane picked up the towel Daria had used to dry her hair, then used it on herself. When she stepped back into the hallway, she saw the mess down below again. Sunlight was pouring through, and the door didn't look like it could be repaired.
"We need to leave. I've seen the mess downstairs." She put on some cleaner clothes as Dari stood off a distance, barely moving as she herself dressed.
Jane took several trips to get her equipment back to the deuce-and-a-half truck. It was a lucky find, remnant from a National Guard unit, but by the time everything was loaded, Daria was sitting in the cab, clothed and waiting. She even had boots on, though the laces were untied.
Jane didn't stop driving until she reached Philadelphia. The tank had enough gas to go another six hundred miles, per Undead-Girl. Jane laughed, then looked at Daria next to her.
-I'm so happy to be a source of amusement for you, Miss Lane-
"Screw you. I outta masturbate while we're touching so you can get off. Then we'll see who has some amusement."
Silence.
Jane was pissed at Daria for giving her the silent treatment, but she was determined to not let it bother her. It didn't work.
Jane looked around for a place to stay. Off in the background she could see numerous bodies in various states of decay, but most were mere skeletons with bits of flesh. The sun was getting low when she eased up to what appeared to be a warehouse and garage. After she shot the lock off, Jane went inside. There were several bodies, and she put a slug in each one's head, pretty much vaporizing the skull. Daria was still in the truck or at least near it, but she felt the tingle of mind contact.
-You have less than thirty minutes to make it secure. I count over twelve bodies that look... Look like trouble. Please hurry. Three are close enough to cause concern-
"I'm hurrying, Undead-Bitch." Jane reloaded her shotgun and emptied the clip again, one shot in each corpse, then policed one last time to be sure. There was a back office with a bed and desk; perfect for a new base for a week or two.
By the time Jane had the last load of ammo and the camp-stove inside, Daria was up and moving, axe in hand.
-I'll watch the door while you weld it. You'll have to reinforce it, though the lock is strong enough-
"Gee, thanks, Daria. Maybe I'll let you come close enough to touch me. We can share feelings. I'll let you enjoy my life vicariously again." Jane felt her anger weakening even as she wanted it to build and consume her.
-I told you, I had no other way to clean you-
Jane had the torch out, lighting it as the first zombie came. Daria took the head off with a casual turn of the wrist. The second one took two blows- he was faster and tall enough to make Daria look like a midget. The third one dropped in two halves, then Jane felt the tingle again. She ignored it.
Jane kept busy welding the reinforcement to the door. Several pieces of angle iron and rebar formed a burly lattice, enough to stop almost anything. As quickly as her anger raged, it would disappear. Another sign of her fragile mental state.
-It's clear. And I don't have to worry about dinner-
"Well, I just got the last piece of rebar welded on. I'm gonna eat some beef stew. When you finish, you want to join me? I have something to say..." Though you know what it is. Jane turned the torch off and stowed it in the hallway, then she took one last look at Daria leaning over a corpse, axe in hand, then she walked to the office her gear was stowed in.
Jane sat on the bed and slipped her top off, then her bra. When Daria came inside the office, there were still some bits of blood on her face. Jane ignored them and looked closely at her best friend, then she touched her own breast. "Come here, Amiga. You feel what I feel. Enjoy."
Daria sat down on the bed next to Jane and touched the living woman's forehead gently, opening the link.
Sometime later, Jane was lying next to Dari in bed, their almost-naked bodies touching. Daria still felt the wash of emotion through the link. Jane was awake, amazed and frightened she had done what she did.
"Did you enjoy that, Daria?" Jane felt the paranoia close in, but she fought it off; she could feel a deeper ache inside her, but was too embarrassed to do anything about it.
-You masturbated for me. The ultimate act of voyeurism. I... I can say I felt your pleasure. Though it disturbs me you did this. I feel your embarrassment as well. Your sanity is failing fast, Jane-
"So what now? Am I not just the last woman on earth, insane and depraved, only to find out my lust has spilled into the realm of necrophilia?" Jane could still feel the waves of energy coursing through her body. It had been nearly a year since she last touched herself.
"I didn't even get down below my chest." It's been so long for that I... I don't... She closed her eyes and the tears poured down her cheeks.
-That long? It's been nearly eighteen months since the flu hit us, leaving only you, Jane. You should try to relieve your stress more often. Maybe it would help your psychosis-
"Next time I find a vibrator with working batteries, you'll know what pleasure is, you undead wench." Jane winced as she spoke. The dark abyss was reaching out to her again. Only Daria's hand on her arm was keeping it away, the cold touch somehow calming.
-It wouldn't be necrophilia unless I was an active participant. But that in itself begs the question. If I'm a participant, am I truly dead? -
Jane felt her anger build up, but she quelled it and sniffed deeply. There, the lilacs and the odor of sweet decay from Daria's last meal. Jane found it oddly calming, much as she felt Daria's cold body oddly comforting. Jane held onto Daria's arm, keeping their minds linked.
-I need to tell you something, Jane-
-Coming out of the closet, MorgenZombie dear? Or did you decide I'd make a nice after-dinner snack?-
-The cat in Baltimore you saved. It quit growling at me-
-That's because it recognized you-
-No Jane. It doesn't work that way. Animals are always scared of me. Whether it was the dogs or cats... even lizards. Birds. They're all scared of me. But the cat wasn't-
"What? What's that supposed to mean?" Jane sat up, not wanting to break contact but feeling the need to speak.
-I licked your blood. I think living blood is affecting me. I felt actual pleasure when you... The cat sensed the change. And Jane-
"What? This is really creeping me out, Daria." Jane tried to think of where the conversation was heading, but all she saw were dogs trying eat her, zombies trying to eat her... A moment later, she added, "But then my life this last eighteen months has really creeped me out. Go on." Jane lay there, unable to think straight.
-Jane, I saw a faint trace of light in my reflection. I see it now when I look at the one way glass. I feel heat inside me-
"So what now, I slash my wrist and bleed into your mouth and let you suck me dry? No thanks, I'll pass." Jane was intrigued, though.
-There's one way I could take your blood without hurting you for it-
Jane sat there for several minutes, stunned by Daria's words. Realizing what she meant, Jane leaned forward off the bed and almost vomited.
"No way. No freaking way. That's too much, Daria. That's... That's fucking gross!"" Jane pulled her hand away from Daria, severing their two-way link.
-I can sense your menstrual cycle. It's active right now-
After a short pause, Jane said, "Yes, it is. That's sick, Daria. Totally sick. That's worse than any horror book I've ever read. Worse than... Christ, that's disgusting!" A separate part of Jane was curious though, the insane part.
-I know. I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm being selfish again-
Jane reached out and held Daria's hand, linking their minds.
-Amiga, what if it worked? What if my blood can kill the virus, force the virus out?-
-I don't think it would work. I don't know-
Jane sat on the bed for a long time, the implications of Daria's words driving home. At the same time, she also felt the walls of the abyss reaching up to draw her in. Jane thought about fighting it, but for once she wanted to give in completely. Surrendering might end her frightful dichotomy of soul. One sane, the other beyond insane.
Jane stood up and dropped her pants, then she slipped a pair of fingers in the waistband of her underwear and looked at Daria.
"This is one hell of a way to come out of the closet." Jane felt her sanity slipping further away as she slid her panties down, exposing her nude figure to Daria.
-You're not gay. I can tell in your mind-
"Daria, quite frankly I don't give a damn if I am, because I'm willing to do anything so I won't be alone. Even letting my undead best friend... Christ. Even letting you eat me out."
Jane could feel her heart racing; she was fast losing the battle to her insipient insanity, and if she didn't commit soon, she might lose everything. Daria sat across from Jane as the panties slid further down till they dropped onto the floor. When Jane leaned back, Daria slowly leaned forward. Her eyes were dead, but there was a spark of something else; something that terrified Jane. Daria kept slowly leaning further over her, looking at her, when Jane screamed, passing into oblivion.
When Jane woke up, she was still naked on the bed with a large bloodstain around her thighs. The bedspread peeled back from her as she sat up, looking around, but Daria wasn't in the room.
Jane stood up and wrapped the bedspread around her, feeling nauseous at the night's events. Two steps later she vomited, almost falling on her shotgun. When she looked up, Daria was standing there.
"Not now, Amiga... I think I'm gonna be..." And Jane buckled over, vomiting more. She heard Daria's footsteps, then saw Daria's boots a foot from her face. "God, I wanna die. Did you really?"
Jane felt her stomach empty again, though barely anything came out. After dry heaving a couple times, she finally looked up and asked, "Did you really do it?"
-Yes, it was not what I expected. You enjoyed it, or at least your body responded as if you did. Your mind... You did when you went catatonic. I've read in the past that catatonia is a state where the mind turns in on itself to protect the psyche from unnatural events-
"That's beyond disgusting. I've gone off the deep end completely, haven't I?" Jane tried to push herself up, but the shock of what Daria had done and her own mental state were affecting her too strongly.
-Not true. I think your mind has healed a lot. You aren't as... cluttered as usual. Not cluttered like you have been this last year. This is the first time in over a year your thoughts have been totally lucid-
"Hmmmm." Jane tried to find the abyss she had fallen into the night before, but it was long gone. The stomach convulsions might also be affecting her, though.
-Jane, there's one more thing I must tell you about... About what we did last night-
"What? Oh God, I feel like shit." Jane closed her eyes as she almost dry heaved, barely catching herself. The room was spinning as if she was drunk. The thought of Daria drinking her blood was too much to comprehend, especially the manner in which she did so.
"Jaaaaa... Neeeyyyy"
Jane suddenly stopped cold, looking at Daria. She was shocked to hear a real voice- the first one other than hers since she watched everyone else die.
And then she saw the teardrop fall from Daria's face.
"Itttttsssss... Worrrrrkkkkk... Innnnnggggg."
Jane tried to stand up, but her previous heaving had left her stomach muscles too cramped to stand. Daria bent over slowly and reached out, picking her up easily. She felt the heat in Daria's arms as they held her, then Daria gently set her on the bed.