THE POLITICS OF KISSING
Disclaimer: The characters in CSI: New York do not belong to me. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Summary: As Danny and Lindsay negotiate the first few months of their personal relationship, they have to figure out the politics of kissing in the workplace. Set early Season 4.
Notes: Hi! A D/L one shot for you. I wrote this ages ago, but then 'Right Next Door' happened and it didn't seem the right time to post it. Things have calmed down since then (I hope!) so here it is. It's set very early on in Season 4 so you'll need to rewind the clock back to when D & L were just starting out and forget about everything that has happened since.
Anyway, enough of my waffle, on with the story…
OOOOOO
New York Crime Lab…
"Just ten more," she encouraged him brightly.
"You're a slave-driver, you know that?" he complained in a sulky little boy's tone.
"And you're just lazy," she retorted without even a hint of sympathy.
Reluctantly accepting defeat, Danny Messer grimaced rather theatrically and then obediently closed his aching fingers around the squidgy stress-ball in his palm the required number of times. He and Lindsay were sitting facing each other on the sofa in the break-room while they waited for the results of various Lab tests to come through.
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" she said when he finally lowered his arm.
"Easy for you to say - you didn't get a couple of fingers broken two months back."
Lindsay's face immediately clouded over with guilt and Danny berated himself for opening his big mouth. She hadn't completely forgiven herself for not being the one on duty that day, and he knew her almost Hitler-like approach to his physiotherapy was her way of compensating for the injury that she felt was her fault.
It was crazy. For one, it had been his idea to let her sleep in after their night of pool-table passion, and, more to the point; she hadn't been the psycho who'd rammed the butt of a rifle into the back of his hand. The thought of how easily it could have been her in that warehouse instead of him still made his blood run cold. He wasn't a masochist by any stretch of the imagination, but he was grateful that he'd taken her shift that day even so.
Lindsay was a strong, capable woman – she wouldn't have qualified as a full CSI if not - but in the face of men waving shotguns around, he knew her confidence would have suffered a major blow. The situation would have been way too close for comfort, and he'd held her after enough nightmares these past couple of months to know that her past wasn't something that she'd managed to put aside completely. It may not affect her as it once had done, but it was still there inside and it would never completely go away. An experience like that never could.
He leaned forward and kissed the worry off her pretty face, distracting her into reminding him of another of her growing list of relationship rules. "Danny," she admonished. "We're at work."
"So - there's nobody else here," he responded irritably.
Although their colleagues were now aware of their relationship, they'd agreed to keep things strictly professional when they were on the clock. While Danny concurred with this strategy in principle, he did think Lindsay took it to the extreme sometimes. She was more hands off with him now than she ever had been before they got together and it was really starting to grate on his nerves. Okay so he agreed that they shouldn't be getting down and dirty in the Trace Lab or some such like, but he didn't think that the odd kiss or indulging in their previous inclination for flirtatious banter would do any harm. Nowadays, he couldn't even make an off-colour joke without her frowning at him in censure. It was slowly driving him insane.
What with the long hours and their sometimes out-of-step shift patterns, their time together was limited as it was. The strict hands-off policy was just too much in the face of all of that. Take last Friday for instance - being on directly opposing twelve hour shifts for the previous two weeks, they'd not seen each other for days and their encounter in the locker-room had been fraught with more than a little sexual tension as a result.
He'd been standing in front of his locker changing his shirt after clumsily spilling blue dye all down the front of it. It had seeped through his lab coat to the pristinely white garment underneath and he was bare-chested when Lindsay sauntered into the room. She'd momentarily placed the palm of her hand against the exposed skin of his back as she passed him by, and the warmth of her touch had sent shivers down his spine. He'd had her pinned against his locker and his mouth on hers before she had the time to protest his actions.
Her initial resistance had crumbled under the strong insistence of his kiss, and her hands had risen to knead the muscles in his back as he'd devoured her mouth as if he were a starving man and she was his first proper meal in more than a month. Just as he was contemplating the ethics of adding a locker-room romp to their growing list of sexual encounters, the sound of approaching footsteps had broken through the haze of their mutual desire.
Lindsay had gasped and ripped herself away from him as if he'd assaulted her. He'd let her go because he hadn't wanted to cause a public scene, but his temper had flared at her over-the-top reaction. Mac and Stella had entered the room shortly afterwards, and, while he himself had managed to remain relatively nonchalant, Lindsay's face had been all aflame, leaving the two older detectives in no doubt as to what they'd almost walked in on.
Their bosses had exchanged an amused look, but didn't otherwise comment. It should have been funny, except that it had led to their first real argument later that night when Lindsay had berated him for his behaviour. He'd placated her the next day because he didn't want to rock the boat too much, but he realised that it was something that they would have to deal with sooner or later. He guessed now was a good a time as any.
"This has got to stop," he told her seriously.
"What?" she asked, confused by his statement.
"We're not going to get fired for touching each other, you know."
"Danny," she protested on automaton, "I think we should talk about this later, don't you?"
"No," he contradicted firmly. "I think we should talk about it now. People know that we're together. I don't think it's a problem for them to see it every now and then."
It would discourage the Lab horn-dogs who were a slave to her pretty smiles and country-girl charm at least. Danny didn't think she had any idea about the effect she had on them, but he'd seen the way their hungry eyes followed her every move. Resisting the urge to drive his fist into their eager faces was getting more and more difficult every day.
Flack had shot him an amused look when he'd mentioned this thorny issue to him a couple of weeks previously. "You do know you're one of them, don't you?" he said, pointing out the obvious contradiction in his friend's statement.
Danny took a swallow of his beer and watched as Flack lined up a particularly tricky pool shot. "That's different."
His friend had the audacity to laugh. "Why because you've already marked your territory?" he enquired, striking the cue ball with pinpoint accuracy.
Danny didn't reply to that and Flack grinned. "I'm sure Linds'll be flattered to know you've been peeing in a corner to defend her honour," he remarked as he straightened up and moved around the table to take his next shot.
"Ha-ha – you're funny," Danny retorted sarcastically and then had to endure his buddy's ribbing for the rest of the night. He had been glad when Lindsay had called and said she'd managed to finish her shift on time for once, giving him an excuse to leave and go join her.
"Man, you've got it bad," Don remarked as he'd tugged on his jacket and headed for the door.
"Just because you aren't getting any," Danny threw over his shoulder as a parting shot.
"That was low, Dan," his friend protested.
"Yeah," he agreed with a slight nod. His mouth curled up into a self-satisfied smirk. "True enough though."
"I'm working on it if you must know."
Danny raised his eyebrows speculatively. "Oh?"
"Don't you have some place to be?" was his friend's rather pointed response.
Danny did and he never had found out what – or rather whom - Flack was supposedly working on. That was a task for another day. Right now, he needed to get through to the stubborn woman in front of him.
"What are you so afraid of?" he asked her.
"I'm not afraid; I just don't think it's appropriate behaviour at work."
Danny sighed. "Look, I know Mac can be a little straight-laced at times, but he's not inhuman. This is a tough job. Long hours, stressful - not to mention a guided tour through the darker side of human nature. We take our support from the people around us because they're the only ones who truly understand those pressures. We're friends as well as colleagues, Lindsay."
"You and I are more than friends though."
"I know, but it's not as if that's a bad thing…"
"I know it isn't."
"So why act so guilty about it all the time then?"
Lindsay looked away and bit her bottom lip. "I didn't realise I was."
"It feels that way sometimes. All right so I agree making out in the AV Lab is a no-no…"
"But in the locker room is just fine?"
Danny smiled rather ruefully. "Okay so I stepped over the personal-professional line a little that day, but when you wrap yourself in an invisible straight-jacket whenever I'm near you at work, it gets kind of frustrating."
Lindsay studied him for a long moment and then sighed. "I have been doing that, haven't I?" she admitted.
He nodded. "You need to relax a little."
"I'm sorry. I guess I'm trying too hard. I don't want people to think that I…" she trailed off.
"What? Somehow slept your way to the top?" Danny suggested knowingly. "I hate to point this out, but if that was your intention, you picked the wrong guy to entice onto the casting couch."
Lindsay thought he was undervaluing himself but she got the point. "Damn, I knew I should have gone with Mac," she teased.
Danny groaned. "Don't start that, Montana. I'm having enough trouble with the geek-squad as it is."
"The what?"
"Your posse of Lab-tech admirers."
Lindsay giggled. "I don't have admirers," she protested, and then looked at him in incredulous delight. "Do I?"
"Believe me, you have admirers," Danny told her dolefully.
"Well, I guess that makes us even then."
"Huh?"
Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Now I know you know what I'm talking about."
Danny grinned in that inimitable way of his. "I can't help being irresistible, can I?"
"If only they knew the truth…"
Danny cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.
"What was that for?"
"My Montana's back and I missed her."
Lindsay finally understood what he was getting at. Because of their growing closeness outside of work, she'd been overcompensating by acting aloof within and it had put a strain on them.
She instinctively moved in closer to him. "I guess a little kiss every once in a while wouldn't hurt," she admitted coyly.
"Especially since this is our lunch-break," Danny pointed out.
"Which means we're technically off the clock," she finished for him.
Danny grinned. "I knew you'd catch on eventually," he declared as he palmed the side of her face in his hand and lowered his mouth to hers.
"Well, would you look at that?" Sheldon Hawkes said, coming to a halt in the corridor outside. He glanced over at Stella who couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I was beginning to think this relationship of theirs was a figment of their over-active imaginations."
"I guess they just needed to find the right work-life balance," Stella replied as Danny and Lindsay broke off their embrace after exchanging a series of sweet, gentle kisses.
She had the distinct impression that the scene she and Mac had nearly walked in on in the locker-room the previous week had been significantly more R-rated in nature. Lindsay had certainly been highly embarrassed and the tension between the couple had been palpable in the Lab all afternoon. She remembered the terse goodbye between them even now. They hadn't realised she'd been standing in the doorway and had overheard the rather fraught exchange.
"Will I see you tonight?" Danny had asked as he'd passed by Lindsay's desk at the end of his shift. His tone was clipped, defensive, as if he fully expected a rejection.
It hadn't exactly gone that far, but the look Lindsay had given him was markedly on the cool side. "I don't know," she retorted. "Will you accost me as soon as I walk through the door?"
"What would be the point? You'd probably have me arrested."
Lindsay's composure had faltered at that. "I didn't mean… Mac and Stella were about to walk in on us, Danny! We agreed – not at work!"
"I didn't think that meant that we had to act like we were nothing to each other. It was just a goddamn kiss. Lighten up!"
Lindsay's expression immediately became shuttered. "We shouldn't be discussing this here. Just go."
"Fine! Just don't expect me to be at home if you decide to come a-callin'"
And with that parting shot, Danny had stalked from the room. Lindsay had drawn in a shuddering breath and closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. Stella had been tempted to interfere but she'd held her tongue. They needed to sort this out for themselves.
The whole situation had obviously led to a row later on that night, but it became apparent the next day that they were both desperate to kiss and make up. They were working the same shift so she'd sent them out together to interview a suspect to give them a chance to do just that. They'd returned an hour later much happier, the tension between them gone.
That night there was no question of whether they would see each other or not. She remembered with amusement how they'd both immediately dashed for the door the moment she'd dismissed them from their duties. She'd never seen Danny quite so enamoured before – he was usually Mr Laidback and Cool around women. Lately though, he'd been acting like a pubescent teenager experiencing the wonders of the opposite sex for the first time.
She figured it was a good thing. He deserved a little happiness. They both did. On the surface, they may not have seemed the obvious match – a streetwise New York City boy and a relatively naïve Montana country girl – but somehow they fit together like two adjacent pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. They'd each had their own separate demons to face at various points in their lives, but they'd done it with the same sense of fortitude and strength of character. That, along with a shared sense of humour, was what drew them together – not to mention a healthy dose of sexual chemistry, of course.
The tinny sound of her beeper diverted Stella's attention from her musings. She unhooked it from her waistband and read the incoming message.
"Boom!" Danny announced as he exited the break-room and came towards her, his own beeper in hand.
She nodded in agreement. Their case had been a series of wrong-turns and blind alleys so far – a DNA match was finally a step in the right direction. "We should go find Adam," she said.
Danny inclined his head in agreement and then turned to Lindsay who had followed him out of the break-room. "I'll see you later, yeah?" he said, running a hand down her arm.
Lindsay nodded, her fingers briefly tangling with his before they broke contact. "I'll call you when I'm done," she promised.
He wanted to lean in and kiss her, but they were essentially back on the clock so he resisted the urge. Instead, he lightly touched his fingers to the side of her face in farewell before he moved off down the corridor with Stella.
He sensed the older woman's curiosity almost immediately. "What?" he demanded.
"I didn't say anything."
"You didn't have to."
Stella smiled. "I think it's sweet, that's all."
"Sweet?"
"You and Lindsay," she clarified, misinterpreting his comment.
"I know what you were talking about, Stella. I don't do sweet, 'kay? Hot, sizzling, and sexy maybe. But sweet?" He shuddered exaggeratedly. "No."
Stella laughed. "That's what you think, buddy." She bumped her shoulder companionably against his. "I'm willing to bet you cuddle too."
Danny's mind immediately flashed back to the previous evening. How Lindsay had snuggled sleepily up to him on the couch in her apartment, how they'd both kept dozing off during the movie that they were supposed to be watching. And finally, how they'd tumbled into bed some time later, curled up together and fallen asleep with nothing more than a drowsy kiss goodnight as a prelude.
It was a turning point somehow. It was the first night they'd spent together without sex being part of the equation. Previously, when either of them had been too exhausted from their working day to face nothing more than food and the warm comfort of a bed, they'd retreated to their separate apartments to chill out and catch some Zzs.
Last night though, despite their tiredness, they'd wanted to be together. Two weeks of opposing shifts and their first official fight had them craving each other's company so they'd chosen not to reschedule their intended date. 'Dinner and a Movie out' became 'Take-out and a Movie in' in deference to the long shift that they'd both worked, but Danny had still expected there to be a little physical loving on the agenda even so.
After the long, slow build-up to the pool table incident, they couldn't get enough of each other now that they had finally and irreparably crossed over that line. Unfortunately, while their minds may have been willing, their bodies had other ideas and sleep overtook making love in the physical needs race, crossing the finish line before either of them had had the time to think about objecting.
What was worse, Danny mused to himself, was that they hadn't even made up for the oversight this morning. They were both on an early shift so a quick shower and breakfast on the run was all they'd managed. Strangely, it didn't bother him. Just having her physically present near him was more than enough.
"Care to place that bet?" Stella teased, reading the gist of his thoughts from the expression on his face.
"No," he responded shortly.
"Lost your nerve?" she asked him archly.
"No, I just don't place bets with impossible stakes."
He shot her a sheepish, self-deprecating grin and she laughed. "We all have to grow up sometime, Danny," she said, hooking a friendly arm through his. "Better late than never, huh?"
"Hey! Watch it, lady!" he protested mildly.
"I'm just kidding," she assured him. "I'm happy for you - and Lindsay too for that matter. You two deserve it after what you've been through these last couple of years. It's been a tough time for both of you."
Danny nodded. What with Aiden's murder, Flack's near death experience and Louie… It had been difficult. Lindsay had been his light at the end of the tunnel, but that hadn't been all plain sailing either. She'd pushed him away when they were just getting close. It wasn't until he'd learned the truth behind her inexplicable withdrawal that the hurt had finally gone away.
Despite being what he wanted, being with Lindsay wasn't always the easiest. She was emotionally scarred, understandably so given her tumultuous adolescence, but it added an extra – sometimes unwelcome - dimension to their relationship nevertheless. He remembered how, after one particularly bad nightmare, she'd clung to him and sobbed until she was utterly exhausted from her overwrought emotions. He hadn't really known how to handle her distress so he'd just held her close, stroked her hair and murmured nonsensical words of comfort in her ear until she eventually calmed down.
The next day, she'd been embarrassed by her neediness and had surrounded herself with a thick impenetrable wall that had taken him a few days to break though. She'd let her guard down, allowed herself to lean on him for support and that had frightened her. He got the impression that she'd suffered through this alone for such a long time that she didn't know how to let anyone else be part of her pain.
Over the years, she'd learned to hide her turmoil from her family because it upset them too much to see her in distress. This had made things worse for her in some ways, but had helped her to cope in others. She possessed a deep inner strength that Danny couldn't help but admire. She hadn't let her teenage trauma define her. Instead, she'd used it as a springboard to motivate herself to be all that she wanted to be. If sometimes in the dark, it temporarily paralysed and claimed her, she would always wrest herself free before the first ray of morning sun announced the dawn of the day.
"She constantly amazes me," he said to Stella before he could stop himself. "I mean, I sat in that courtroom and listened to what she went through and…" he broke off, realising what he'd inadvertently revealed.
Stella wasn't slow on the uptake. "Courtroom?" she enquired with raised eyebrows.
"Erm, yeah… I…"
Stella suppressed a smile – she could have sworn that the unflappable Danny Messer had just blushed like a teenager.
"You said she didn't sound the same," he muttered defensively.
"And so you got on a plane and flew all the way to Bozeman just to see if she was all right?" Stella surmised.
"Well yeah, I guess…"
Stella was silent for a moment, contemplating his gesture. "You can be quite the romantic when you put your mind to it, can't you, Danny?" she said.
"What?"
Danny looked so confused that she almost laughed. Romantic or not, he still had a few things to learn about women, she decided. "If someone had flown halfway across the country like that for me, I'd be suitably blown away," she explained.
"It wasn't that calculated, Stell."
"I know, but that just makes the whole thing even more perfect, don't you see?"
"I suppose." He shifted uncomfortably. There was a beat of strained silence and then: "Can we talk about something else?" he asked plaintively.
Stella did laugh this time, but then took pity on him. "Okay, you can have a temporary reprieve," she said.
"If you want girl-talk then you're better off talking to Lindsay."
"Oh, I was intending to," Stella replied lightly. "That could turn out to be one very interesting conversation, don't you think?"
Danny grimaced. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
Stella smiled over her shoulder as she preceded him into the DNA Lab. "I would say so, yes," she agreed and then turned her attention back to their case.
"So, whatcha got, Adam?"
OOOOOO
Six hours later…
"Hey!"
Lindsay looked up from her locker to see Danny standing in the doorway. "Hey! You done for the day?" she asked.
He nodded as he came into the room and retrieved his jacket from his locker. "Tox' results on our second Vic are gonna take till morning so me an' Stell are just cooling our heels for now. We figured some R&R was in order."
Lindsay smiled at the deliberately suggestive look he threw her way. "I said I'd meet Hawkes and Adam for a drink at Sullivan's," she told him. "I think Flack and Mac are coming along too."
"Yeah, Mac said as much when he invited me and Stella to join you. Looks like tonight's a Lab night out, huh?"
"I guess," Lindsay replied a little uncertainly.
"Something wrong?"
"No, I…" She paused to collect her thoughts and then continued. "How do we act?"
"Act?" Danny looked at her with a blank expression on his face, although his blue eyes danced with amusement behind his glasses.
She resisted the urge to smack him upside the head. "You know what I mean!"
Danny chuckled. "We're off the clock, Lindsay," he reminded her.
"I know but…" She let out an exasperated sigh. "Don't you feel at all uncomfortable with this?"
"With you and me? No. With being with you around the others? Yeah a little. I don't wanna hide it though."
"No, me neither, but maybe we should establish some ground rules."
"Don't you think we have enough of those already? You can't fit everything into neat little boxes, Montana. We'll just take things as they come."
"But what if… Mmm!"
Snaking out an arm to draw her close, Danny silenced her neuroses with a well-placed kiss. Her arms went around his neck of their own accord as his lips moved confidently over hers and she leaned into his embrace in spite of herself.
"That was cheating," she murmured when they broke apart.
"You and your damn rules," he complained, kissing the tip of her nose.
Lindsay's answering smile blossomed until it lit up her entire face and Danny found himself smiling goofily back at her. "Come on," he said, releasing his grip around her waist and taking one of her hands in his. "Let's go."
They left the building, hand in hand, a few minutes later.
Sullivan's was heaving with the after-work crowd when they arrived. Allowing Danny to clear their path to the bar through the maze of bodies, Lindsay followed in his wake, clutching his fingers in a two-handed grip.
"The usual?" he asked of her when they reached their destination. He tugged her in front of him and stepped behind her to shield her from the crush of people clamouring to be served.
Her lips quirked up into a small smile before she nodded in reply to his question.
"What?" he enquired, shooting her a quizzical look.
She shook her head with a slight laugh. "Nothing."
His unconscious chivalry always warmed her. At work, she insisted on absolute equality. Away from it, she was a little more flexible. As long as he treated her with respect and didn't patronise her, she was more than willing to accept his gallantry. It had its compensations after all. It saved her from getting jostled and bruised in places like this for one.
"I'm never gonna understand you, Montana," he complained, sliding a possessive arm around her waist from behind.
"Probably not," she agreed, leaning back against him as he raised his other arm to attract the bartender's attention.
Once their drinks were ordered and paid for, they looked around for their colleagues. Not finding them, they settled themselves into an empty booth in a darkened corner of the bar.
"Look's like we're the first here," Lindsay remarked conversationally as she sipped at her drink. "Hawkes said he was going to swing by his apartment to change first, but I thought Flack was heading out straight from work. I guess he got held up."
Danny nodded absently, not really all that interested. He had other more pressing things on his mind. Setting his beer down on the table, he turned side-on to face her and slid his right arm along the back of the bench behind her head. Lightly teasing the nape of her neck with his fingertips, he took her drink from her with his free hand, set it aside and then curled his hand around her upper thigh just above the knee.
The heavy weight of his palm warmed Lindsay's skin through the material of her pants and set her heart to jumping and sensation sparking her nerve-endings. Coquettishly lowering her eyelashes, she leaned into him in silent invitation – an invitation that Danny wasted no time in accepting. As his mouth closed possessively over hers, a whisper of a moan escaped Lindsay's lips as she returned his kiss with an enthusiasm that equalled his own. They lost themselves in each other for a while before a loud 'Ahem!' cut through their reverie.
"I'd tell you to get a room if I thought you'd listen," Don Flack said as he slid into the booth opposite them.
Retrieving his drink from the table, Danny settled back against the battered leather seat, undeterred. "Been there, done that," he remarked casually as he took a sip.
"Danny!"
Flack laughed as Lindsay punched her boyfriend on the upper arm in protest. "Better get used to it, Linds. Messer here has no finesse when it comes to the ladies. You could do so much better, you know."
Lindsay was still frowning at Danny. "You're not going to talk like that in front of Mac, are you?"
He smiled and reached out to run a forefinger over the sexy pout of her lips. "No," he assured her, "I can show some respect, and, besides, I was only teasing. Flack here brings out the worst in me."
"So I've noticed," Lindsay observed dryly, suitably mollified by his response. "Of course, you bring out the worst in him so I guess that makes you even."
She smiled sweetly at the two of them before she turned her full attention on the New York police detective sitting across the table from her. "So Flack, when do we get to meet her?" she enquired with an ingenuousness that belied the wicked playfulness in her warm, brown eyes.
Flack shot Danny a murderous look, but his friend simply shrugged in response. Don sighed. "I take back what I told Dan a few weeks ago," he said to Lindsay with a heavy note of complaint in his voice. "This thing you two got going on is definitely not a good thing."
Lindsay laughed as she snuggled into Danny's side, her free hand resting lightly on his knee. He curled a strong, muscular arm around her body in return, his hand coming to rest possessively on the curve of her hip. "I was just asking," she said.
"An' I ain't tellin'" Flack returned.
"I think that means he's in lurve," Danny remarked with a grin.
"And look who's talking," Flack retorted instantly. "I'm not the one who played the monk for months whilst hankering after a certain someone sitting not too far from here, am I?"
"Flack…," his friend growled warningly.
Flack flickered a glance at Lindsay who was looking at Danny with a slightly incredulous look on her face. "She doesn't know does she?" he enquired with some level of surprise.
He might as well have not spoken. The couple's attention was solely focused on each other now. Neither of them had heard a word that he'd just said.
"But you… I…," Lindsay stuttered. "Why?"
"Because I didn't want anyone else."
Danny shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant manner even though nonchalant was the last thing he felt right now. He couldn't really say why he hadn't wanted her to know. He supposed it was because of what it said about him and his feelings for her. Especially as they were feelings that he wasn't ready to fully acknowledge to himself, let alone to Lindsay. Oh, he knew he was in love with her, but simply loving her? That was a different matter entirely. Neither of them had said the words yet, and he wasn't sure that this was the time or the place for them to do so.
Lindsay was apparently of the same mind, for she simply palmed the side of his face in her hand and lightly kissed his cheek before settling back into the curve of his arm. He turned his head and kissed her hair, then shot his friend another 'butt the hell out' look.
Flack took the hint. He'd deflected the conversation away from the subject he'd wanted to avoid so he saw no other reason to push his luck. He skilfully steered the topic onto safer ground - the latest Giants game.
Lindsay tuned out a little as the men spiritedly debated the merits of various players. Usually she joined in the discussion, but tonight her mind was occupied with what she'd just learned. She'd been quite categorical when she'd told Danny that she wasn't ready for a relationship with him, and hadn't thought much about the intervening months between then and when he'd flown to Montana to visit her during the trial.
That was mainly for her own self-preservation though. She hadn't expected him to remain celibate, but she didn't want to hear about his personal life either. She remembered how eaten up inside she'd felt when she'd seen various Suicide Girls eyeing him up during the case that they'd worked together shortly after she'd told him they should just do their jobs and forget about anything else. She was almost certain he'd gotten a few offers once the case was finished. Apparently though, he had turned them all down.
'Because I didn't want anyone else…'
Somehow, that spoke volumes. It also begged the question of 'why?' when he could probably have any woman that he wanted. Why her in particular? She knew they clicked. She felt the chemistry that sparked like fireflies between them, but she was still a little dumbfounded when he treated her like she was the most desirable woman alive. She didn't consider herself unattractive to men, but Danny sometimes looked at her like she was Aphrodite herself and she couldn't fathom that one out at all.
"Lindsay?"
"Hmm?" she said, rousing herself at the sound of her name. She blinked, realising that Mac, Hawkes and Stella had arrived whilst she'd been day-dreaming.
"Do you want another drink?" Mac asked her.
She shook her head. "No, I'm ok with this for now."
She indicated her glass that was still three-quarts full, then suddenly realised where she was - nestled comfortably in the crook of Danny's arm, her hand resting territorially on his thigh. She instinctively started to pull away, but Danny immediately increased the pressure of his fingers to keep her close.
She forced herself to relax. They weren't doing anything wrong and she hadn't been bothered when it was just the two of them and Flack. It was different with Mac somehow though. It was the difference between your best friend knowing you were sleeping with your boyfriend and your Dad knowing. That thought made her laugh.
"What's so funny?" Danny asked her.
She looked up into his face, a slight flush tingeing her cheeks. "Never mind," she told him quietly. "I'll tell you later."
"There's going to be a later?" he asked in a low murmur, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He leaned in closer to her, cocooning them from the others at the table and enveloping them in their own little world.
"You may just get lucky," she murmured back, her voice low and liquid.
He grinned juvenilely at her and she rolled her eyes. "Or maybe not," she added.
He laughed and planted a sound kiss on her lips, heedless of the other people around them. Lindsay blushed whilst Danny remained perfectly composed. She envied the way he didn't care what anybody thought of him. She knew she was over-analyzing things but he was so laid-back sometimes he was practically horizontal.
All the same though, no-one seemed to have batted an eyelid at their very public display of affection, the conversation carried on unabated around them. Stella was the only one who made any kind of comment – when her gaze met Lindsay's across the table, she winked conspiratorially. The flush on Lindsay's cheeks deepened but Stella just smiled and then apparently decided to meet the situation head on.
"Okay boys," she announced, rising to her feet as Mac returned with the round of drinks. "Us girls are going to powder our noses whilst you finish up with the sport's talk. Come on, Lindsay."
The peremptory tone made it more of a command than a request and Danny chuckled as he slid out of the booth to let Lindsay pass. "I think you've been summoned, Montana."
"Just don't give away any trade secrets, 'kay?" he called after her as she and Stella walked towards the bathroom.
Lindsay laughed in spite of herself, the awkward tension tightening her muscles dissipating a little. Neither she nor Stella spoke until they reached to bathroom, but once there, the older woman didn't pull any punches.
"You're not ashamed of being with him, are you?" she asked directly.
Lindsay flushed and shook her head vehemently. "No, no – of course not. It's just difficult to know how to act now that you all know."
Stella nodded. "I can see that."
Worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth, Lindsay ran her fingers agitatedly through her hair. "Danny doesn't seem to have any trouble with it," she said in frustration. "I don't understand how he can be so… so…"
"Typically Danny about the whole thing?" Stella finished for her calmly.
"Huh?" Lindsay looked at her colleague in confusion.
Stella smiled. "I don't think he's as comfortable with this as you think," she said.
Lindsay frowned. "I don't understand."
"Well, it's like he's daring us to object, isn't it? His body language is just screaming out with defiance. It's like he's saying 'this is what I've chosen to do. Either you like it or you go take a running jump off the nearest building.'" She smiled. "As I said - typically Danny. He cares about what people think but he's not going to let anybody know it."
Lindsay nodded, understanding now. "And what does everyone think?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes and no," Lindsay answered. "It wouldn't change anything between Danny and me, but I guess we'd like everyone's blessing all the same."
"I think you've got it, kiddo."
"Really? You don't think that… that…"
"That what?"
"Well, I'm not really his type, am I?" Lindsay said, turning to study her reflection in the mirror behind her.
Stella let out a soft laugh. "Honey, I think that's the point," she said. "You're bright, intelligent. You give as good as you get and don't let him get away with any crap. He respects that about you and is attracted to it if the way he continually goads you is anything to go by. Half his trouble is that he usually chooses women who don't have the capacity to hold his interest beyond the bedroom door."
She leaned forward and squeezed the younger woman's shoulders in friendly reassurance. "You're different in that respect though, Lindsay. Just because you haven't got legs up to your armpits doesn't mean you don't have anything to offer a man. Smart is sexy to someone like Danny. He gets bored way too easily. He needs someone who stimulates his brain as well as his body."
Lindsay had never really considered it in that way before. She had self-esteem issues that she tried hard to ignore, but sometimes Danny brought them out in spades. She supposed that's why she was so guarded in her approach towards him. The only time she'd ever thrown caution to the wind was when she'd challenged him to that hundred dollar bet and then cornered him into paying up with himself rather than his hard-earned cash.
That decision had been fuelled in part by the alcohol she'd drunk however, and also by the need to finally let go of her past and embrace the future and all it had to offer her. She'd not been disappointed so why was she hesitating now? Sometimes her convoluted thought processes didn't make the slightest bit of logical sense.
She fluffed the hair that she'd mussed. "I'm making this more complicated than it needs to be, aren't I?" she said to Stella.
"It's always wise to be cautious, but I do think you need to trust in yourself and Danny a bit more. Neither of you have entered into this lightly."
Lindsay nodded. "I guess I sometimes forget that. He draws me in, makes me laugh. We have so much fun together that occasionally it can all seem a little too casual, if you know what I mean."
"Lindsay – I've known Danny a long time, okay? He can be pretty taciturn about his feelings – that's just the way he is. Actions speak a lot louder than words with him. Why do you think he goes completely out of his way to make you laugh, huh? He has a joke with all of us, but with you… Well, let's just say he'll keep pushing and prodding until he wins a reaction from you regardless of how challenging you make it for him."
Lindsay laughed. "So - what? You're saying the way he teases me all the time is like some sort of extended foreplay?"
Stella folded her arms under her chest and leaned her hip against the counter. "You said it, girl, not me," she said with an amused glint in her eye. "But yes, I think that's exactly the way it is. Are you seriously going to tell me it's not?"
Lindsay flushed and looked away. "Stella!" she protested.
Stella laughed her rich warm laugh. "Look - Danny is like my little brother but that doesn't mean I'm not aware of his considerable appeal to the female variety of the species. I've seen him work that Staten Island charm of his a few times, believe me."
"And I like a sucker fell for it."
"Only because you wanted to, Lindsay. And not before you'd completely turned it around on him either."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm guessing it just a mild flirtation on his part to begin with, something to pass the time. He would have respected the boundaries if you'd asked him to."
Lindsay nodded. That she knew. Hadn't he already done so when she told him she couldn't be in a relationship with him? He hadn't let it affect their working relationship even though she knew she must have upset him on a personal level.
"But you engaged his interest, kept him coming back for more," Stella continued. "You reeled him in good and proper in the end, didn't you?"
Lindsay giggled. "You make me sound like some sort of femme fatale. It wasn't like that at all."
Stella smiled. "No, I think it was simply two people finding something in each other that they hadn't expected to."
Lindsay nodded in quiet agreement.
"They say that best friends make the best lovers," Stella added slyly.
"They'd be right," Lindsay said without thinking and then clapped her hand over her mouth. "And I did not just tell you that!"
Stella laughed. "I can do without the details, but maybe you should think about that. Somehow I think you wouldn't be satisfied if it were just sex."
"No," Lindsay said thoughtfully. "No, I wouldn't."
"So?"
Lindsay grinned rather wickedly. "I thought you didn't want the details, Stella…"
"…And I think this conversation is over."
Lindsay laughed and tucked her arm companionably through the older woman's as they headed for the door. "Thanks," she said in a more serious tone.
"No problem, kiddo. Don't worry, okay? Trust me, he's crazy about you."
Lindsay could see that more clearly now. Stella was right. Danny wasn't the best at communicating his feelings verbally but then neither was she if truth be told. If she wanted to know how he really felt about her though, then she need only look into his eyes when he made love to her. Whether it was fast and passionate or slow and languorous, he touched her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Actions spoke a thousand words sometimes.
"I finally figured it out," she said to Danny some time later as they moved in slow circles around the dance-floor, oblivious to those around them.
He pulled back slightly and looked down into her up-turned face. "Figured out what?"
"The Politics of Kissing," she informed him.
"Well, it's about time…"
"Shut up, Messer, or you gonna lose the election."
He grinned. "Ahh see - that's where you're wrong, Montana, hah? 'Cus baby, I'm going all the way to the White House with this one."
Lindsay laughed. "Now that I'd be a fool to bet against," she said and then stood on her tip-toes and kissed him in full view of everyone…
The End.
P.S. For anyone reading my other CSI:NY story - 'What Might Have Been', I am still working on it, I promise. It's just that real life issues have gotten in the way lately.
