Disclaimer: Bleach and all associated materials are property of Kubo Tite and all of them involved. The song Butterflies and Hurricanes is property of Muse.
Butterflies and Hurricanes
By: Nanaki BH
I shifted my weight a little closer to my taichou, wary of the wounds on my middle still. He wasn't resisting my presence; in fact, he was encouraging it, it seemed. It was odd, but certainly not unwelcome. I was so close I could hear him breathing and I thanked kami-sama that Ichigo's sudden intrusion hadn't dampened the mood. We'd been sitting there for quite some time; me across the room near the door and Byakuya in the small hospital-style bed near the open window.
Perhaps I was even thankful that Ichigo had come in like he had. I had been sitting there by the door, wringing my hands uncomfortably, so very tempted to just get up and leave to save myself from any more inner turmoil. For so many years I had myself convinced that I wanted to kill Byakuya… thing was, how could I even consider such a thing when he was sitting there so vulnerable and repentant? All I wanted to do was something I still wouldn't even consider; grab him, pull him close, and kiss that damn pouting mouth of his. So I sat there, palms sweating, mouth dry, feeling the urge to dash out the door.
Thanks to Ichigo, I found the sudden opportunity and confidence to sit down beside Byakuya. It was like he'd purposely inched more toward the window just so I could settle down next to him. He wasn't very talkative, nor was he the kind to express his emotions. All of our sudden apologizing though was making me regret ever having ill-intended thoughts toward him. When I sat down, I continued to apologize and yet he still said very little. I was beginning to find myself in the same position again; awkwardly clutching my hands and taking long, deep breaths.
"You don't have to be embarrassed around me now," he said quietly. His eyes still refused to meet mine though and I knew he was feeling just as awkward as I was. His gaze was perpetually trained on the horizon, staring at something no one else could see. I watched his lips quiver, unsure of whether they should smile or frown. He looked so pretty. I wasn't sure if it was the lighting or if it was because he'd finally let his hair down; he just seemed to emit some kind of unexplainable gorgeous aura.
I smiled and leaned back, linking my fingers behind my neck. "You're one to talk, Ice Prince," I joked.
He didn't seem to appreciate my humor. He pushed a bit of hair behind his ears and kept on staring out the window. They say that the window to one's heart is their eyes. So, to test that theory, I sat forward just a little and cautiously looked upon his face; something I never would have dreamed of doing out of reverence. Byakuya didn't flinch away, nor did he reprimand me. The first thing my eyes fell upon was the soft, pink blush spread across his cheeks. Was he sick? Embarrassed? …Was it because of me? My heart gave a particularly excited jump and I gasped involuntarily.
"What is it?" he asked. The bastard still didn't look at me.
"Nn… You're blushing, taichou," I said warily.
The cool wind from outside blew gently through his hair and he sighed, letting his head rest against the backboard. That was the problem with Kuchiki-taichou; he was forever the reserved captain, never letting me know what was wrong. He always looked like he was hiding something; something he was unwilling to share.
I finally broke and gave into the itch in my brain. I placed a tentative hand on his shoulder and drew him close. With my free hand, I tilted his chin toward myself. Damn, how lonely his eyes looked. I closed my eyes and gently, our lips met for the first time. There seemed to be very little opposition too. Byakuya wasn't exactly returning the kiss, but he definitely wasn't trying to escape it either. I cracked open an eye to find his closed.
He was the one who broke the kiss though, just so he could go back to looking out the damn window.
"What's so special out there anyway?"
He shook his head wordlessly.
I put a hand reassuringly on his back and kissed his cheek. "I get it," I said, smiling. Don't have to be embarrassed, huh? He was the one shrinking away from attention. "There's something bothering you still and you're too stubborn to admit it."
"I love you," he muttered quietly.
I was taken aback. "What!"
"That's what you wanted to hear, wasn't it?" He nervously shifted onto his side, hiding his face behind one shrugged shoulder. I wasn't sure what the hell had gotten into him. All I'd asked was…
I raked a hand through my hair and let out a shuddering breath to focus myself. "All I'd asked was what was wrong. You don't have to go saying things like that, you know."
"That is what's wrong though, Renji."
That stumped me. My heart kept beating crazily and I couldn't deny the feelings that I had for him, but it seemed absolutely absurd to think that he would reciprocate them; him of all people, even. Yet… Byakuya's never lied. There was really no room for doubt – neither on my part nor on his.
His shoulder, still pressed so closely together, began to shiver a little, I noticed. Being the gentleman I am, I wrapped my arms around him from behind and held him against me, pressing my chin to his shoulder. We shared a pretty comfortable silence then. He stopped shaking and his breathing became even again. Tenderly, I placed a kiss on his neck.
"I'm an idiot."
He shook his head and his delicate hair tickled my face. "Don't say things like that."
"No," I said, "it's all my fault. I'm so uncontrollably attractive…"
Byakuya turned around in my hold and punched my arm lightly. His scowl was so adorable but I wouldn't be as foolish as to tell him that. I'd already been goofy enough anyway. He had that same look on his face; the one he had when we'd fought before. There was a very distinct difference though. He didn't actually look angry. He looked like he was trying to be mad, which turned out looking utterly ridiculous. I took that scowling face in my hands again and kissed his lips softly, massaging the back of his neck.
He was still trying to be angry at me though, which was quite the losing fight. He grabbed onto my robes and pulled me against him, deepening the kiss. Although he appeared eager, I knew he must have been feeling ashamed. It was what people might call "reckless abandon" and he wasn't too bad at it. I lied back and let him climb on top of me. My wounds protested a little but not enough to make me break our contact. I kept petting his neck and massaging his tongue with my own and he made no complaints.
When we finally broke apart for air, he settled his head on my chest sleepily. I was feeling a little tired myself, actually.
"I love you too, stupid."
I could feel him smiling against my chest. "That line isn't that cool."
Author's Notes: Ho wow. You knew I would do that. I hope it wasn't cliché. I'm not sure if anybody else has used that scene in a fic before… probably, huh? Still, it was my first Bleach fic. I'm primarily a supporter of IchigoxIshida, so hopefully I'll write for them too some time. I hope you enjoyed this! Tell me what you think!