Disclaimer: This is the 14th story in The Songs of EO. It's set when Livvy comes back to SVU. It features the song Used To, by Daughtry. I LOVE that song. But anything that is known to be someone else's isn't mine. Just R&R, ya'll.
Used To
By Julia
You used to talk to me
like I was the only one around
You used to lean on me
the only other choice was fallin' down
You used to walk with me like we had
nowhere we needed to go
Nice and slow, to no place in particular
We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear, you were the
first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought, we
USED TO KNOW
At least there's you
And at least there's me
can we get this back, can we get this back
to how it used to be
Olivia Benson walked into the SVU precinct. She had been back for a couple of weeks. Things with her partner, Elliot Stabler, had been a little off since she'd come back. They were getting along fine, but something was off. They used to be able to read each other like a book, and now, they had trouble doing that. She really wasn't liking it, but since they didn't always talk about the stuff that scared them until they had to, she wasn't sure what to do about it. So for the moment, she was ignoring it, just like he was seeming to be doing.
Elliot was sitting on his desk, having a discussion with Fin Tutuola, one of the other detectives. He looked up at Liv and gave her a smile. Then he went back to talking to Fin.
She sat down at her desk, wishing that she felt connected to him like she used to. She watched as he talked to Fin. His eyes were lighting up like they hadn't with her in a long time. She wondered briefly if he was pulling away from her on purpose. It was all out in the open, the love they felt for each other. Maybe he was saving himself from getting hurt. She didn't blame him there. She'd been hurt, too.
Elliot glanced at her again, taken away by how beautiful she looked. He missed how close they'd been. Since she'd been back, they'd been off. Out of sync. They used to be able to have an entire conversation without actually saying anything. When he spoke to her, it was like no one else was in the room. He wanted that back, and he didn't know how to get it back. He missed being so close, so connected. He missed feeling like she was the one who knew him best in the world. He just wanted it to be the way it used to be.
I USED TO reach for you
when I got lost along the way
I USED TO listen you always
had just the right thing to say
I USED TO follow you, never really cared
where we would go
Fast or slow or anywhere at all
We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear, you were the
first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought, we
USED TO KNOW
At least there's you
And at least there's me
can we get this back, can we get this back
to how it used to be
Elliot got up to get coffee, and had to ask Liv if she needed more. Usually, he would have just known, they were that in tune with each other. She told him that she didn't need any. He ached to have it like it was before. Actually, he wanted it better than it was before. He wanted Liv to be his officially. He already knew she was unofficially.
Olivia hated that he had had to ask. He used to just know. She hated this weird energy between them. It just didn't feel right. It was like they had forgotten how to act around each other. She acted like a silly schoolgirl whenever he looked at her. It was worse when he smiled. Her stomach turned to butterflies. It was worse than it had been before she left, because now he knew how she felt about him, and she knew that he felt the same.
Fin watched them. They were so adorable and so stupid at the same time. He could tell that something was off with them. They'd been nervous around each other for weeks. Since Liv had been back. He knew they loved each other. He hoped they knew it, too, 'cause otherwise, they'd have to be stupid. It was so obvious, he wouldn't be surprised if the entire unit could tell.
He went to Liv. ''Liv, babe, can I talk to you for a minute? Let's go to the crib. It needs to be private.'' He could feel Elliot's gaze on him. He could tell that El didn't like the use of the word babe coming from him. Fin had always used it with Liv, but now that there was the weirdness, and Elliot didn't have what he had used to have with her, it was probably pissing him off.
Olivia agreed, and followed her friend to the crib. She wondered what this was about. Usually, when he had to talk to her, he just did it in front of Elliot. They usually didn't talk about anything that he wasn't allowed to know, too. ''What's up, Fin?'' She asked.
Fin leaned against the wall and closed the door. ''Look, I know why you and El are a bit out of sync. Somethin' happened before you left. Just talk to him, Liv. I know you're in love with him and he's in love with you. It's been very obvious for a long time, especially once Elliot and Kathy split up. Plus, he was really acting like a jackass while you were gone.''
Olivia turned beet red. ''Yeah, things have been a little weird. I love him, Fin. It's killing me that we aren't like we used to be. I just want to feel close to him.'' She stopped as tears filled her eyes. ''I used to.''
Fin touched her arm. ''Go and talk to him, Liv. If you want things to be like they used to be, then you've got to talk about it with him. They'll only get worse if you keep ignoring the elephant in the room.''
Olivia nodded, and left the crib, wiping tears off her face. Elliot was still sitting at his desk. To her surprise, his own eyes were a little wet. She had to work to keep the fresh tears back when she realized that she felt a little closer to him.
I look around me
And I want you there 'cause I miss
the things that we shared
Look around you...it's empty and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we shared
You used to talk to me like I was
the only one around, the only one around
Olivia took a deep breath and pushed back a lock of her long hair. She was nervous. ''Can I talk to you for a minute?'' She asked, her heart pounding so hard she thought it was going to burst out of her chest.
Elliot looked up at her. ''I guess so. Is this going to be a private conversation?'' He hoped she wanted to talk about the weird energy between them.
Olivia said, ''Yeah, let's go get a drink. I really need to talk to you.'' They had just finished a big case, and alcohol would definitely help give her courage.
He agreed, so they headed off to her favorite bar. She ordered a shot of Jack Daniels, and downed it. ''Um, El, you know that we've been off with us lately. I think we need to discuss why we think that is.'' She started, trying not to lose herself in his baby blues.
Elliot's face turned pink. ''Um, yeah. I have noticed. I think it's because we both know that there's something between us. It's been scaring us. What do you think we should do about it?''
Olivia's face took its own turn turning pink. ''I don't know.'' She wasn't sure what she should say to that. She knew what she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure that she should.
Elliot nervously took one of her hands in his own. ''I say we stop fighting what we've known all along is there and just be together. You know that's what we both want and have wanted for years now.''
Olivia's eyes filled with tears again. ''You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that.'' Their mouths met in a salty kiss, and she knew that things were going to be better than they used to be.
We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear, you were the
first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought, we
USED TO KNOW
At least there's you
And at least there's me
can we get this back, can we get this back
to how it used to be
How it used to be
A.N.: Tell me you liked it! Hope so! I'm taking a cue from Nettie C and asking if not, why'd you read this far? You know how I feel about non-reviewers.