I do not own Gundam Seed.

People proceed at your own risk. You are warned that

1. This contains material that is not appropriate for the straight laced.Kira and Athrun pairing.

2. It has an ending that I myself do not encourage anyone to go through just that I thought that it would be perfect for this fanfiction of mine.

3. (...in italics) are either Kira talking or past memories.

All in all please enjoy this little ficcie of mine. Do please comment on anything at all. Thanks.

Returning Home

by : frost2light

" It's time to wake up Athrun. You can't hide in here forever you know. Don't worry about the consequences, I promise it won't be too hard to bear. Wake up for me okay? " The voice in my head sounded so much like Kira. Kira! My eyes snapped open and I blinked at the harsh light that pierced through the darkness. I looked around me and found myself in a room with a girl with golden amber eyes pointing a gun at me.

" Why are you still alive? How could you have escaped with merely a broken arm? How could you?" She spoke, her voice was filled with bitterness and her eyes glimmered with unshed tears.

" What are you talking about? Why am I here? Where is this place?" I stared warily at the girl, ignoring the growing pain in my head, my eyes flickering about to find an escape route.

" You don't remember? You were fighting with Kira and you initiated the self destruct mechanism of your mobile suit. How could you forget killing your best friend!" Her eyes were fierce and disbelief was evident on her face. There was no doubt at all that Kira was dear to her.

" I killed Kira….?" My voice trailed off. The headache becoming harder and harder to bear. I winced. My hand trying to massage the pain out. Hazy memories flashed involuntarily in my mind.

( " Nicol!" I shouted as I watched Nicol's mobile suit blow up in front of my eyes. He had sacrificed himself in order for me to survive. Anger cursed through my veins. I did not care who my opponent was now. I had to avenge my comrade. The thought kept circling in my head shutting out all sanity. I pressed a button and a keypad popped out. I typed in the few numbers that would activate the countdown before escaping. I could picture the horror of the other pilot when I ejected out of the cockpit. I wondered at that instant who I was about to blow up and Kira's image popped into my mind. I gasped but it was too late. I twisted my body just in time to see Aegis blow up taking Strike with it before blessed nothingness.)

I could feel the tears that had formed trickling down my face, creating rivers of sorrow. The conversation with Cagalli had triggered all the memories that I had wanted so badly to bury deep inside me. I did not want to remember that fiery blast that had taken me down a road I never could turn back. I had killed my best friend with my own two hands. We were two of the same kind. I was his twin and he was my shadow. We had believed that we were inseparable but it was clear that we were not invulnerable. War had torn both of us apart and made us unwilling enemies. Our precious friendship put on hold the day I had risked my life to steal the mobile suits in Heliopolis.

" I should kill you. I should pull the trigger and end this once and for all. But I can't. I can't because the person that you were so willing to kill so easily made me promise that I would not harm you. Instead, he forced me to agree to his wishes." Cagalli looked out the window and into the blue sky. She imagined that Kira was now looking down on them, willing her to say what he had made her promise she'll tell Athrun, but now was not the time. She was still hurting too much to say what Kira had specifically wanted her to say to Athrun. Misery likes company as the old saying goes. " Rest. I'll see you tomorrow." I looked up to protest but the door slammed before I could say anything. I was left alone once again.

Three days later,

I walked down the worn pathway that would lead me to your final resting place. Cagalli had told me where they had buried you and I was not the least surprised when they told me where it would be. Her words before she let me go was still ringing in my head. The walk was not a long one and your final resting place came too soon. Your tombstone lay under the sakura trees right beside the pathway. It was where we had parted and I had given you Torii. You had wanted to come back to the place where our memories of each other were pure and simple, filled with happiness and joy instead of the ugliness of the war. You had chosen the perfect place to sleep forever. I looked at your picture on the pure white tombstone, the place that you finally would be able to rest in peace. The picture they had put on the tombstone captured nothing of you. You looked just like another teenager who was unfortunate enough to be part of this war. Memories of the past flashed by involuntarily with you in every of them. I wanted to tell you I still care, that I still am your friend but I could not get the words out. So much to say, so much to do yet I could only stare at you with the ghost of tears in my eyes. We both were unwilling victims of this senseless war. Two friends who met and parted and were destined to meet again but as enemies, our priceless friendship worth nothing in this terrible tragedy. During past battles, the hunter has become the hunted and you Kira was the hunted. I, the hunter was forced to fight you, yet deep down inside I was proud. I was proud that you, the perfect specimen was my prey. You will not become just another statistic of the war, you were my prize. A prize that I had given my sanity to save from this horrors of the war. You have always been so fragile like an angel thrown down from heaven into the pits of hell. But instead of shriveling up inside, you rose up to the challenge and tried to protect the ones whom you love, your pure white wings shimmering in the sun. However, Kira, I understand you all too well, you are dying inside. Your heart breaking into millions of pieces with every shot you had to shoot in order to protect. The pieces falling off into the deep abyss with no return. The people you had killed and the innocents you could not save comes back to haunt you, creating nightmares that makes you break out in cold sweat late at night. The last words that you made Cagalli promise to tell me was short and simple but it had erased all the pain and guilt that I felt. Likewise, you understood me too well too. " Thank you." You had said " I love you." You told her to tell me. I knew then what I had to do. I took out the knife that I had brought with me and knelt down in front of the photograph of you.

" I love you too." I said and slashed my wrists. The blood, warm and red spurted out and I could feel my senses blurring with every drop that escapes my veins. I laid down beside you and looked up the clear blue sky. I am finally going home.