Finding The Right Words to Say I'm Sorry
It'd been nearly five years since she wrote that letter. She'd hated it the second she finished putting pen to paper, even more when she mailed it out. As much as it pained her, Kimberly had to send it. It was full of anything she could think of to keep Tommy away. She loved him too much to make him say in Angel Grove un-happy and waiting for her while she was out here in Florida living the dreams. It killed them both, there was no doubt but it was done. So long ago in fact, she figured he just didn't care anymore, five years had passed and not one word from him. Kim knew she broke his heart and deep down saw no reason why she deserved his forgiveness. In all honesty, how could she expect him to forgive what she did and said when she never forgave herself? He deserved a girl who knew what she had and wouldn't screw it up the way she did.
Kim was ripped away from her thoughts when a little boy popped up behind her, nearly scaring the life out of her. "Owen Thomas! What are you doing up? It's almost 3:30 AM?" "Mommy, I couldn't sleep… the rain. I'm scared." said the little boy. Kim felt terrible; she had been so lost she hadn't even noticed the hurricane like storm that clearly frightened her four year old son. "C'mon sweetie, we'll get you some milk and back to bed you go mister!" "Okay," he mumbled as he was following his mother into the kitchen, still groggy. As promised after he got his drink he went right back up to bed, though he did manage to sucker one last bedtime story out of his mother. Midway through he was out cold. Kim tucked him in and quietly tip-toed out of his room, being sure to turn on his dragon nightlight before closing the door. After that, she just sat there for a minute; her mind took barely any time before shifting back to her earlier thoughts. Tommy was running through her mind and she couldn't get him out! This happened from time to time and each time Kimberly nearly lost her mind. It was a safe bet she'd be in tears when ever Tommy popped into her head. Luckily, she had one person she knew would be a sounding board and be strong enough to keep their lips sealed. When these break downs happened, it usually took no more than twenty minutes of non-stop tears before she reached for her phone and scrambled to dial Trini's number.
The phone rang for about two minutes and just when Kim was ready to hang up she heard an all too familiar voice say hello:
Hello?
Hey Kim said trying to hide her tears, which never worked anyway, her best friend knew her too well
Kim is it happening again? Trini asked worried, she didn't see how Kim went on like this, or how much longer she could for that matter.
What do you mean? Kim played dumb.
You're thinking of, or should I say consumed with Tommy again, I know you. Trini shot back before Kim could try and play her some more.
How am I not supposed to? Kim snapped before trailing off. Owen laughs I hear his father, he smiles and I see a smile I fell in love with, he dives into the deep end of the pool and I know where the reckless abandon comes from.
You have that quality too you know, last time I checked you can't be a chicken shit and be a Pan Globe level gymnast! Her friend interrupted her rant.
Not like this, it's different, it's Tommy. HE'S TOMMY! You wouldn't believe it Tri, he looks and acts just like Tommy in every way .It's like the world's cruel way of reminding of what a bitch I am for sending that letter! Kim sighed frustrated with her mistake.
Maybe it's time for you to face him. Trini stated blankly.
FACE HIM! Kim's volume grew as she began to lose composer. ARE YOU SERISOUS? She questioned sharply, then lowering her voice before heading back down stairs so she didn't wake her sleeping son. He was having a rough enough time sleeping as it were. I cannot face him. Do you want to know what made me call? Turning on Owen's little dragon nightlight.
A dragon Kim? Really? 'Cause that's not going to upset you or anything. She mocked in only a way a best friend could get away with.
I guess I wanted him to have a part of his daddy with him. Supplied Kim hoping it was enough, if not it was the best she could come up with.
If you two were back here he would have him ALL THE TIME. Trini was quick to counter.
Her best friend knew she was right and HATED IT. So what am I supposed to do? Show up at Tommy's door Owen in toe and say HEY! I broke up with you in the most in the coldest way possible Oh and by the way here's the son I never bothered to let you know you had and expect him to move us in with open arms? Kim proposed, clearly disgusted with her actions in regards both her brake up and keeping her little boy hidden.
No, you could come stay with me, I have to meet my nephew someday anyway and when you decide you're ready to let them meet you can. Besides I don't think you can take much more of being alone while you try and sort this all out. Offered Trini.
Uh, I'm not so sure I'm ready for all that.
Fine, why don't you sleep on it and call me tomorrow, or in a couple of days if you need.
Kim couldn't shoot down such a kind offer, so she agreed to at least consider coming back.
I guess I'm gonna try and get some rest now. He'll be up soon for the day anyway, 7 AM like clockwork, it never fails.
Then you better get to bed and fast, it's past five already. Her friend informed her.
Alright Tri, love you! And thanks again, I don't know what I would've done all these years without you. She said with a heavy sigh.
Check into a permanent residence at the nearest mental hospital? Again a comment only the best friend could get away with.
The stressed young mother let out a laugh for the first time, Probably very true, good night.
Got you to laugh, mission accomplished, well part of it, love you good night.
The girls hung up and Kim didn't even bother to move, she just laid back on the sofa and eventually passed out for the night.