*Disclaimer*: I don't own not one bit o' POTC. I own my mind, though. And I own Captain Lee Caelum AND the rest of her crew AND anyone else mentioned in this fic not associated directly with POTC. I might not own the random crowd members. Dun care who they belong to. They ain't got names anyway. But don't you dare steal Lee or the others. I'll hafta slit your throat and fill it with lemons and throw your mangled corpse to the echidnas.

^Lil Note^: Be nice. This is my first fic at FF.N. I've only seen the movie once so if there is something in it related directly to the movie (such as a quote or whatever) and it's incorrect, please correct me if you know the right way it's supposed to be. In my mind Jack was WAY out of character and I /really/ tried to shove him back in his character but… well, you know Jack. Sometimes he's reluctant. So anyway, I appreciate your /constructive/ criticism, but not your flaming. And I really ask that you be nice in your constructive criticism. Please don't give me any "Oh, my goodness you did this and this and this and THIS wrong and, oh goodness. Goodness fix it. Fix it like so cause it's really bad. Ack, horrible. Goodness. Fix it like this cause your way is awful." Um, just be nice to me. Or else I might run screaming and crying to my pillow and an angry mob of people who actually /liked/ my fic will come and attack you (if I even have any fans 0.o and if they even care that I ran away screaming and crying in my pillow).

^Nuther Note^: Sorry for all this, but I got sumfin else to say. Although I am putting this on FF.N, it's not necessarily here to please you. If it seems Mary-Sueish, and you can't bare it, simply /don't/ read it. The idea just popped into my head a few weeks ago and I finally decided to put it up after much coaxing from my friends. I hope you like it and I won't despise suggestions, but if you think it's crap then don't read it. I don't want your flames. They burn. They burn right here -pats chest where her heart is, er…/supposed/ to be-

Okay, I know yer jus chompin' at the bit to go on and read my fic! (-sniggle- couldn't resist the horsie cliché -snuggles her horsie-). So anyway, here ya go! -throws fic at yer face-

Captain Lee Caelum. Interesting, that one. Captain of... Mare Orientale, I believe was the ship's name. Not for too long though. Switched ships at one point. But back to Captain Caelum. Not many knew the name, and those who did had little information to tell of it. That information was usually wrong.

Captain Lee?

A lass. Not a fine one, no. That woman was every bit of a pirate. Sneaky she was, oh yes. Very sneaky. She usually used a diversion to get out of tight situations. Always worked, too. She was famous for that.

It was funny how she tricked entire crowds of people. If you have a dark sense of humor, that is. I beg to differ if you say that not a one being gave a snicker the day she saved Captain Jack Sparrow.

----------

Jack stood with an almost carefree expression on his dirt-smudged face as his sentence was announced along with the reasoning behind such. He nodded as his crimes were called, remembering those moments with a slight grin.

Well, this was it. He was about to be hanged. Terrible way to go. Couldn't he just drink himself to death? That would be most enjoyable. He could just die beside his greatest love - rum. Wonderful, lovable, deliciously intoxicating rum. Jack laughed inwardly, but then seriousness washed over his face. They say that just before death, your life and all the memories come flooding back and flash before your eyes. Perhaps these memories would include loved ones, triumphs, or even childhood flashbacks of falling out of trees and such. What did Jack see? What was he going to miss?

Rum. Oh, and maybe the women. And the rum.

Was there rum in Hell? He hoped so. He really, /really/ hoped so.

And there it was, Captain Jack Sparrow's last thought as the once stable boards beneath him suddenly dropped, along with his stomach, as he plummeted the short distance to his strangling death. He even heard a booming noise as he fell, probably the Jack Sparrow version of the fabled 'comforting light'.

In a split second he came crashing down to something... hard? Well it wasn't Hell's fire. It was dusty. And hard. And gritty.

...and hard.

Huh? What? No, no this isn't right. This is very wrong.

Jack slowly lifted a single tightly shut eyelid and found himself crumpled in a heap on the ground just below the hanging platform.

/Damn it! Oh what, did they make the rope too long? Well this is lovely. Gotta go through it all over again./

He turned his head to the right, then the left, then right again, then the left again. Behind him lay a very short piece of rope, frayed at one end, and attached to a loop around his neck at the other. He looked up and saw another piece of rope hanging from a sturdy board, also frayed at the end.

/Oh… Hm, had no idea I weighed that much./

----------

The crowd squealed and made other various noises of surprise as they also heard the boom and witnessed the invisible slicing of the rope. Some ducked for cover(as obviously the noise had been a gunshot) as others jerked to attention and scanned for an explanation. A wiry young man leapt atop a barrel behind the crowd, a sly grin on his face and a pistol in his hand. He was immediately spied by the randomly stationed guards in the area, and they herded after him hastily. The crazed lad ran down the dock and, without hesitation, dove straight into the murky waters. Most of the guards hesitated to go after him, but a few had the boldness to continue their perusal. Their commitment to catching the criminal didn't do them any favors this time.

Must've been a damn good swimmer, that insane boy. Hardly needed a breath.

A cloaked figure, previously lurking in the concealing shadows just outside the crowd, lowered an arm(a curious looking arm if you caught a glimpse of it. Narrow and round, like a pipe. Though the cloak covered all but the silvery tip)rushed through the gawking mass of spectators. Surprisingly, the suspicious cloak went unnoticed as the entire crowd's attention was set on watching the guards scramble after the supposed shooter. You'd think everyone would have heard where the shot came from, but sound vibrations can be very tricky things, bouncing off walls and what not. The phantom of a being reached a hand out to a very confused Jack Sparrow and grabbed hold of his sleeve, tugged him to his feet and then rushed him down the empty cobblestone streets. The pair reached a small rowboat pulled onto the shore, completely secluded from the gathering at the main dock. Jack was shoved over the boat's edge and sent toppling into the center. The cloak gingerly hopped in as well after giving the tiny boat a shove off the sand. A snaggle toothed whiskery fellow manned the oars and began rowing them out to sea.

Jack finally managed to sit upright, across from the mysterious pistol-handed being. Just as he started to open his mouth to utter a quick "thanks, mate", the hood of the cloak fell back and revealed a surprisingly fine-featured face, a pair of deep hazel eyes, and a somewhat tangled mass of wavy auburn hair. Jack's mouth did indeed open, but no words came out.

/A woman. Bloody. Hell. A woman./

The woman lifted an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side slightly. "Good way to catch flies, that is. Are ya that hungry?" She jerked her chin up slightly to gesture to his mouth. He quickly shut it tight. His eyes stayed the same though, staring straight at the lass. Only for a few moments. Then he gazed at the slowly passing ocean as if he hadn't just been staring in disbelief.

The woman, however, continued to burn a hole in the side of his head. After a generous moment of silence, she gently put her pistol down beside her(it looked as if she was straining to set it down without making a sound) and spoke in a sarcastic tone as she conversed with an imaginary Captain Jack, tilting her head left and right at each sentence.

"Thanks for saving my life, luv. Oh you're welcome, anytime. Jolly good weather, isn't it? Why yes, perfectly wonderful"

Jack glanced at the apparently insane woman and squinted his eyes as if trying to see who she was talking to. She caught site of this and folded her arms loosely below her chest. Jack's eyes shifted.

/What's she waitin' for?/

He then looked back at her, frozen by utter confusion. To his surprise, she reached a hand out to him with a crooked little grin on her face.

"Captain Lee Caelum."

She waited patiently(with that same damned raised eyebrow) for his hand to meet hers. It did. Eventually.

"Cap--"

"Captain Jack Sparrow." She decided to finish his words for him. Jack seemed to sit up straighter with pride.

"You've heard of me." It was more a statement than a question. Lee nodded once. Jack snuck a glance at her wrist and looked back up quickly. Lee saw it.

The handshake was brief. Jack still felt awkward. He sighed, almost discontented. Lee made a noise of disgust from her throat and shook her head.

"I really don't understand you Mr.Sparrow"

"Captain. /Captain/ Sparrow."

Lee shut her eyes for a moment and raised both eyebrows this time. /Forgive me, I have sinned./ "Captain Sparrow" She mocked.

Jack nodded in satisfaction. "Not many do, love. Understand me, that is." He chuckled. "Sometimes I'm not sure /I/ understand me." Jack put his hands on his face and moaned as they slid slowly down his cheeks. "One thing I /do/ understand is that whatever dignity I had is surely gone now."

Lee's forehead wrinkled and her brow flattened. "Beg y' pardon?"

Jack shot her a quick glance and then continued staring in the distance as if it were interesting to watch the water. "The great Captain Jack Sparrow, saved by a woman. A bloody shame, it is."

The offense taken by Lee was obvious, but she kept her composure. There was a pause before Jack finally decided to ask the question that was dancing around in his mind.

"So are you afraid then?"

Lee's brow remained flat. "/What?/" She spit the word out.

"You don't have the mark, luv. Yer wrist is bare. You afraid of being caught? Don't want the mark of the pirates on ya should you be captured, eh?"

Lee leaned back in utter shock at his bluntness, her jaw dropped wide. Jack lowered his eyes and shrugged.

"Just an observation. No need for a pretty lass like yerself to hang your jaw in such a way. Tryin' to steal my flies, are ya? I'm not the only one that hungry I see."

A flat hand came flying into the side of Jack's face, and the place of impact stung and began to turn a crimson hue. Lee huffed and folded her arms back. As she wriggled them into place she looked like a bird just settling from ruffle of its feathers. Perhaps that's where the cliché came from.

Jack could just hear Will's voice asking him that /question/ again. "Now /that/ one, I didn't deserve." After the last word came out Jack realized that his thoughts had magically traveled out of his mouth and now sat and boiled in Lee's ears. Her eyes widened in anger and her right arm twitched, begging to slap him again. Jack slid back a bit on the narrow board he sat on, watching that arm carefully. He didn't regret what he said. Hell no! He didn't deserve that. But it still hurt nonetheless. Didn't want another one.

/Yer lettin' the lass get to ya, mate. Don't stand for it./

Jack brought his own hand gently to his burning cheek. "And jus' what right do ya have, slappin' a perfectly undeservin' man such as mehself like that?"

Lee didn't answer. It was her turn to stare out at the ocean as if it were interesting.