THE KING OF THE CATACOMBS
by
Darth Gilthoron

Book One: The Hope of the Lost Ones
Book Two: The Veil of Concealment
Book Three: The Ashes of Glory
Book Four: The Threads of Darkness
Book Five: The Mists of Time
Book Six: The Touch of Light
Book Seven: The Toll of Death
Book Eight: The Banner of Vengeance
Book Nine: The Breath of Evil
Book Ten: The Fate of the Fateless

Author's Note: I'll admit it quite openly, though some of you might call for my head on a spike once word spreads around: I haven't read the book. I haven't even seen the musical on stage. This is solely based upon the 2004 movie. I know, this is practically anathema, and I myself strongly dislike those who claim to be fans of J.R.R. Tolkien's works and have only seen the movies. But I never claimed to be a fan (phan?), right? I'm just another boy.

Why I am writing this? Well, the reason is that I made a rather foolhardy promise to my younger sister. It all began in December, when I first saw the movie poster in the underground station one morning. Now you mustn't think that I had no idea that something of that sort existed; in fact, I knew the musical more or less, because my sister had had the German version on cassette for a few years. Look here, lad, I told myself, there's something your sister might enjoy, and she's been complaining about you not inviting her to the cinema for some time, so why not give her another little Christmas present? Loving brother that I am, I did just that. I even agreed to go only with her and without the (normally necessary) company of my best friend and faithful brother-in-mischief. At first I was rather sceptical, because I'm not much of a musical freak, and because I feared that it might be too romantic for my taste. However, I must say that I found it was a good movie; my expectations were topped greatly. On our way home, I was even reckless enough to promise my sister to buy her the DVD for her birthday. And this was a grave mistake, because her birthday is in March, and the DVD won't be out until then. So I needed something else to give to her. Which is how I came up with this story.

I'm afraid I must discourage those who poked their noses in here in hope of a romantic love story. First, my being of the male persuasion might appear suspicious to some girls (and I do feel a little awkward when handling female characters sometimes, but it works out well enough for my taste). Second, when I say this is more of a fantasy adventure with bits of dark passion in it instead of loads of romantic love, some of you might go running. Third, I'm not really part of the fandom (phandom?).

While I'm quite unwilling to do anything about the first two points, I might work on the last. I'm planning to read the book, for example. And my best friend and I have already founded the League of Raoul-Haters (we can't help it, he's just so annoying), which can definitely be counted as a movie-associated club. You see, I can adapt if the occasion calls for it.

And to prove that I made some progress on knowing the musical, I'll be only using quotes from the songs for chapter titles (my sister owns the soundtrack, you see, and I'm a quick learner). Have fun recognizing them.

And have fun reading my story… if you dare…

Full Cast (and how you'll have to imagine them):

The Phantom……Gerard Butler

Christine……Emmy Rossum

Raoul……Patrick Wilson

Meg……Jennifer Ellison

Créon……Hugo Weaving

Niobe……Patricia Velazquez

Mme Giry……Miranda Richardson

Gaston……Christian Bale

Serge……Rufus Sewell

Hulot……Keanu Reeves

Adhemar……Sean Bean

Aeternus……Gary Oldman

Leclair……Jason Flemyng

Xavier……Orlando Bloom

Marie……Winona Ryder

Lászlo……Richard Roxburgh

Sándor……Hayden Christensen

Lionel……Jürgen Prochnow

Kalo……Timothy Spall

Fifi……Sadie Frost

Bertrand……Michael Gambon

André……Simon Callow

Firmin……Ciarán Hinds

Claude……Russell Crowe

Carlotta……Minnie Driver

Ferox……Tyler Mane

Atrox……Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Febis……Christopher Lee

Jacques……Paul Bettany

Censor: PG-13. Parents are strongly cautioned: This story contains violence (real violence, not only brief moments like in the movie) as well as some sexual content.