Hermione watched Harry from the window of the common room. She'd done that a lot since they'd gotten back from the Ministry of Magic. He was so changed, so distant and angry with everyone. It was just how he dealt with it.
She wished he wouldn't. She might not have lost anyone close to her, but she knew that people had to deal with grief by talking about it. She'd tried to get him to talk about it, but he kept shutting her out. He was shutting everyone out.
Hermione could have sat thinking for hours if her stomach's hunger pleas (which has been growing increasingly louder for the past hour) hadn't finally won out over the thoughts drifting aimlessly in her mind. She rose from the window and drifted from the common room.
It was a Hogsmeade weekend, and, in light of the grief, Hermione decided to join her classmates in the nearby village. She knew Harry wouldn't go, and that he wanted to be alone. She felt bad about leaving him alone at the castle, but she had to get out.
After all, he wasn't the only one dealing with Sirius' death.
She walked down the road alone, finally letting herself cry. She hadn't cried in front of Harry, she didn't expect that he'd understand, or something foolish like that. And, even though it was silly, she wouldn't let herself cry in front of Ron.
All alone though, she fell to pieces. She let herself cry all the tears that she'd held back since Sirius' death. Every tear she shed seemed to bring her to peace with a problem she had, had with Sirius. Every tear like a silent plea for Sirius to rest happily in peace.
She cried until her sobs broke the silent summer air, and the overflowing salty orbs of emotion blinded her eyes. She collapsed on a mat of moss and leaves to give herself a chance to clam down.
"Well, well, it seems that the mudblood can't survive without Potty and Weasel." Came a cruel, sniveling voice from behind her.
"Leave it, Malfoy." She snarled at the blonde haired teenager who had come up beside her.
"No need to get testy, Granger, I'm just here to talk."
"I don't want to talk, especially to you."
"Well, you're in no position to tell me otherwise. I doubt in your state, which, might I add, is pathetic, you'd be able to do my any real harm." Draco scoffed before he continued. "Where are Potter and Weasley, but the way?"
Hermione looked at Draco, her eyes full of tears, but he could tell that she was shooting invisible daggers at him with them. "Leave it, Malfoy," she repeated coldly.
"Oh, that's right, poor Potter lost that God-awful thin he called a God-Father, and all his golden, little friends are upset about it. Well, I wouldn't be worried about a criminal like him dying. I mean, I'd be more worried about what's going to happen to you three when Voldemort's through with you."
He laughed, causing Hermione to curl her lip in anger and rush at him with all the force that she could muster. Draco stepped out of the way and laughed as she found herself on the ground, driven by the force of her missed attack.
Seeing his chance, Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it straight at Hermione's heart. "You and your troublesome friends got my father thrown into Azkaban, and now you're going to pay for it," he stared with loathing into her eyes and curled his own lip in anger, as he began to utter the most unforgivable of all curses.
"Av…" He started out, enjoying the terror he was witnessing in her eyes… Eyes that are so beautiful.
He shook his head, chasing away the pesky thoughts of actually liking the smart assed girl, as he finished the rest of the incantation.
"I would think twice before I finished that sentence, if I were you, Mr. Malfoy." A gentle, serious voice uttered from behind Draco.
Draco spun around to find a wand in his face, held by the shaking hands of Remus Lupin.
Hands that were shaking in extreme anger.
Draco snarled as he stashed his wand in his robes and took off running towards the village.
Remus looked down and smiled at Hermione, who was still sobbing and shaking uncontrollably in a heap on the ground. He tucked his own wand into his robes and extended his arm to help her up.
She collapsed into his arms, still sobbing. He pulled her in close, rubbing her back, trying to get her to clam down. "Shhh, Hermione, he's gone, you're fine," he whispered, hugging her even tighter, truly wishing she'd calm down.
"I could have handled him, professor. I know I could have." She sobbed, trying to clam down, finding comfort in his arms.
"I know you could have, especially if you weren't crying."
"Oh, I'm just…" She trailed off as he released her from his arms.
"You were thinking about Sirius, I understand. There's so many tears I've shed myself for him, I know how you feel."
"I don't think you do, professor." Hermione started as she sat down on a rock and whipped her face with the back of her sleeve. "I mean, I don't know how to deal with this sort of thing. You can't learn to deal with people dying from a book, and that's how I learn. But that's not all, I feel guilty about it, I never gave Sirius the respect that he deserved. I never let him know that I did actually like him. He died, and he never knew how I felt!"
Remus sat down beside her and sighed, "He knew, Hermione, he knew. And, you're not the only one who felt that way. He might have been my best friend, but I still thought that he was immature. But, he still knew that I loved him like a brother, and that I would stop at nothing to see him happy." Remus looked into her eyes and smiled, "To Sirius, it didn't matter if you liked him, Hermione. You're Harry's friend, and all he cared about was Harry's happiness. You could have hated Sirius and he would have still liked you because of how you were with Harry. But don't worry, Sirius knew that you liked him. Now, what do you say that we go back to the castle, and you can show Harry that friendship that Sirius admired so much?"
Hermione smiled as her and Remus headed towards the castle. However, when they reached the front doors of the castle, Remus smiled and began to walk away.
"Wait!" Cried Hermione, "Aren't you staying?"
"No, Hermione." Was all that the werewolf answered.
"But you have to, professor! He needs to talk to someone! Someone who he knows understands how he feels, and that's you! He won't listen to us, especially not to me, since he thinks I didn't like Sirius!"
Remus shook his head and sighed, "And that's why you need to talk to him. Convince him that you did, convince him that you care that he's gone. You have the heart to do it, and heart is all that anyone needs when it comes to friends. Good-bye, Hermione." He finished and sauntered away.
Suddenly he turned around and walked swiftly back to her. "When I first met you, Miss Granger, you had the power too fix things so that they never happened."
"I don't understand, professor."
"The Time Turner, Hermione. You saved Sirius with that one simple device once." He looked around before he continued, "That's the power that Harry wishes he had. I'm going to give you something, what you choose to do with it is your own business. Just remember, sometimes being a friend means making the sort of decisions that don't make your friends happy because you know it's best for them…"
Hermione scrunched up her face, trying to figure out what the man in front of her had meant. She looked down and saw that his arm was stretched out and there was a slim, silver chain dangling between his fingers.
"Take it, Hermione, and when the time comes, make the right choice." He said quietly as he turned his hand over and opened his clasped fingers. She gasped as she saw the tiny hourglass glittering in his hand.
"Professor, where did you get that!"
"In the Department of Mysteries, after I saw him fall through the veil. I knew I couldn't live without him. There were so many of them, I took one, no one will ever notice it missing. I couldn't use it then, there were too many people around. Everyday the temptation grows for me. I know if I give it to you, I'll stop wanting to use it." He admitted, as he dropped the chain into her hands.
"Why me, though?" She asked innocently.
"You of all people know the risks, the dangers. You're smart enough to understand what could happen. Just remember, Hermione, the best decisions don't always please your friends, but they always seem to be the right ones anyway. You want Harry to be happy, and with this Time Turner you can do that. But, that would teach you all to run from your feelings, and you'll never grow strong that way."
"You'd leave the decision to change what happened up to me? Even if I never told Harry that I had it, and I never used it, you'd know that I hadn't. I don't think I could live with knowing that I could have stopped everyone's grief, especially yours and Harry's."
"Hermione, it's time you grow up and make decision. I lost Sirius once before, but at least now I don't have to worry about that anymore. Don't worry about what decision you make, because I know it will be the right one." Remus smiled, turned from Hermione and left the hall.
Hermione sat in the chair, staring blankly into the fireplace, thinking of the times she'd seen Sirius' head sitting in the flames, offering the three friends advice. Advice that Hermione had not always found appropriate, but she always knew that it was heartfelt.
Advice that she would have given anything to have right at that very moment. She had a feeling that if he were in the same position, Sirius would have known what to do.
Hermione had been sitting alone in the common room for house. Everyone else was still in Hogsmeade, and those who weren't were enjoying the castle grounds for a final time before they went home for the summer.
Every so often someone would come in, but would run out again when they saw the troubled look on her face. The sort of troubled look that they all knew meant she didn't want to be disturbed.
She sighed, her inner turmoil finally driving her to tears again. She just hated the whole thing. She hated Harry for having not listened in the first place, and hated Remus for ever taking the Time Turner. She especially hated how he'd given it to her, and left the decision that could save Sirius' life up to her. As she sat shaking in anger, tears streaming down her face, she realized that she hated the whole damn thing.
She was vaguely aware of the sounds of someone climbing through the portrait hole and into the common room, but she was fully aware of closing her eyes, pulling a pillow close to her chest and wishing whoever it was would just go away. With no such luck, she felt the coach sag as someone sat down beside her.
"Err, Hermione, are you alright?" A voice full of sympathy asked from beside her.
She opened her eyes and found herself staring into the eyes of Neville Longbottom. She shook her head, as she watched Neville looking at her in worry.
She knew she could trust Neville; he'd been there when Sirius fell, so she proceeded to tell him her story and feelings for the better part of an hour. By the time she was finished, she'd stopped crying, but Neville knew that in her heart, she was still shedding tears.
Neville had lived in the shadows of Harry, Hermione and Ron for five years, always wanting so badly to be included in anything they did, but never having the chance, until the recent night when they'd gone to the Ministry of Magic to fight the Death Eaters.
Yes, Neville had watched Sirius Black fall behind that veil, and he had seen how Harry had reacted, going after Bellatrix Lestrange like that. Now, Neville would have given anything to have never been there, to have never seen such grief on the faces of Harry and Professor Lupin.
The same grief he now saw reflected on the face of Hermione.
But now, Neville was the only one who could help, and he wasn't going to let her down. He smiled as he awkwardly extended his arms to offer her a hug. A hug that she returned, a huge that she needed so badly.
"I can't tell you what to do, Hermione, and I probably can't offer you the best advice, but I'll try my hardest.
"For years now I've seen the friendship between you and Harry, and I was especially fond of Professor Lupin. I saw the pain on their faces when that man, Sirius Black, fell across that veil. I saw their hearts break as they tried to cling to the fact that he was gone. You didn't see all that, but what you do see if the logical side of things. You see how bringing him back would make everyone so happy, especially Harry, who never had another father figure, and Professor Lupin who's lost all his best friends. You know that he, Sirius, had so much life in him, and had so much life to make up for because he was in Azkaban all those years. You understand all the benefits of going back and saving Sirius…" He trailed off, letting Hermione take it all in.
"But you also see the downfall to everything. You realize that if you go back in time, you'll be breaking hundreds of Ministry rules. You'll also be messing with something that shouldn't be changed. Time's a very serious thing, Hermione, and by going back you could mess up the furture. Maybe Sirius died for a reason, a reason we have yet to learn. If you use that Time Turner, you'll be the only one who'll remember what really happened, to know that you helped a man cheat death. I think that would be enough to stop me. I mean, knowing you saved someone but they could never thank you would be really hard.
"Death is a funny thing, Hermione, but it's not something that should be messed around with, and neither is time."
Neville stood up and sighed, "You might want to use it Hermione, but Professor Lupin will understand if you don't. And, personally, I'm not going to think any less of you if you don't use it. I'd actually respect you more if you didn't use it." He raised his eyebrows and headed for the dormitory.
Hermione shook her head and sighed. Sometimes, she thought, sometimes it takes the least obvious person to make the right choice obvious. She stood up and threw the Time Turner into the fire. Besides, Harry never has to know that I had it.
She smiled, as she realized that she'd made the right choice.