An all-dialouge fic! I do NOT support DeiTobi or vice versa in any way. I love DeiSaku, and Deidara being gay is such a waste of his hotness for the girls. However...my Council...they are annoyingly possessive and pushy when I think of something funny... I don't know. I just know that I saw this awesome tiny comic about Tobi stealing Deidara's pants on deviantart (not mine obviously). I'll try and find the link for all of you.
Disclaimer: Again, Jade owns nothing. She never does. Why can't you people get that through your skulls already!?!? Me: I'm sorry. Tempers are a little strained right now. Especially with me because of my apparent (Deidara: Apparent, un?!?!?)...yes apparent...inability to finish anything or stick to a pairing.
"Get out, Tobi."
"Why?"
"Because you're annoying, un."
"But...Tobi is a good boy."
"No, Tobi is a bad boy, who needs to leave before his sempai decides to blow him up, un!"
"..Tobi is a good boy."
"...."
"Sempai, why are you staring at Tobi?"
"You need to learn how to control that voice of yours, Tobi."
"Sorry, Deidara-sempai." Clunk.
"..."
"Deidara-sempai...?"
"Tobi.. just get out, un."
"No. Tobi will not get out because this is Tobi's bed."
"And this is my desk!"
"What is your point?"
"My point is that I'm not getting out, and you're bothering me, un. So get out."
"No."
"Mmpph, un.."
"Sempai, it's very hard to hear you like that. Why is your face squished on your desk?"
"Because I'm annoyed, un."
"Why?"
"Will you stop asking why and just get out?"
"Tobi shall not leave, Sempai. Tobi is tired."
"...."
"Sempai will you stop sighing? Tobi is attempting to sleep."
"..."
"Sempai, you're doing it again."
"Tobi, get out before I murder you, un."
"Tobi WILL NOT LEAVE!!"
"You're being a very bad boy, un."
"Tobi is not a bad boy!"
"Well he's acting like a very bad one!"
"...."
"Aw hell, now you have me doing it, un."
"...."
"Tobi...? "
"No!"
"Tobi..."
"NO!"
Tobi...!"
"Tobi said NO!!"
"TOBI!!"
"For the last time, Tobi said no, Sempai."
"Tobi, come on. I didn't mean it like that, un..."
"....."
"But Tobi, I didn't mean it, un!"
"....."
"Tobi is a good boy, un."
"Now, Deidara-sempai, flattery will get you nowhere with Tobi."
"Tobi is a very good boy, un?"
"Tobi doesn't believe you."
"Would you believe me if we went undercover and got some strawberry ice cream after my shower, un?"
"Yes, then Tobi would believe Deidara-sempai is truly sorry."
"Okay then. I'll go take my shower. Don't touch my clay or it'll explode all over you, un."
"Y-yes Deidara-sempai. Tobi will not blow up clay today."
"Today, un?"
"Uhhh... Tobi didn't mean that, Tobi just had a slip of the tongue! Tobi just means he wishes he could learn!"
"......" Tobi audibly sweatdrops.
"I don't believe you, but okay, un."
"...."
"......"
"....."
"Tobi stop humming out there! I can hear you, un!"
"Well, Tobi has nothing else to do while he waits."
"Then go occupy yourself, un."
"Why is this taking so long?"
"I got clay in my hair, un. It's hard to get out."
"Why?"
"Because I have long hair!"
"Oh, Tobi understands. It's like pretty girls with gum in their hair."
"...There's an insult in there somewhere. I just can't find it right now. Too busy, un."
"...Oh hey, Tobi found Deidara-sempai's clothes..."
"What was that you said, un?"
"Nothing Sempai....hmm....Sempai's pants...they're so soft... I wonder if Tobi can..."
"Tobi, you're worrying me. What are you doing out there, un!?"
"T-Tobi is occupying himself by reorganizing books, Sempai."
"Okkayyyy, un..."
"Mmm...these pants are really nice...maybe Tobi should just keep them...Deidara-sempai wouldn't notice anyway..."
"I'm coming out, un. Are you ready yet?"
"Y-yes Sempai."
"Tobi, are you okay, un?"
"Y-yes Sempai. Tobi only saw Leader and Konan-chan in the next room." He lies so easily. It's creepy.
"Did you take a picture, un? That would have been great blackmail.."
"Did Deidara-sempai forget?"
"Forget what, un?"
"Deidara-sempai doesn't let Tobi near cameras anymore. You said Tobi was too good at getting blackmail to be allowed a camera."
"Oh yeah. I did forget, un."
"....."
"Sempai, stop grinning. They've left already, Tobi made sure of it."
"Awww. Well, let's go, un."
"Tobi...doesn't believe you, still."
"I know, un."
"Tobi knows what will help though!"
"I'm dying on the spot to hear it, un."
"Sempai can get Tobi a large instead of a small."
"....."
"......."
"...Fine. But only because you cheated. Stupid mask, un..."
"Tobi does not cheat."
"Okay, okay, geez, un..."
"Tobi does not cheat!"
"I get the picture, un!"
"Tobi is a good boy!"
"...Sasori, you bastard...I just know that you're laughing down there, un..."
-drools from mental image where Deidara steps out of the shower-
Not that I'm bragging, but....Well, that was the easiest thing I've ever written. Never have I wrote so fast and with so few mistakes or changes when I reread it. I'm gladly proud of myself. I've found what my Council truly wants!
Too bad for them it isn't a super sappy romantic pairing like they want it to be.
Sux 2 B my Council,
Jade