How The Socially Awkward Date
I'm back, people! Miss me already? I bet you did. Anyway, as part of another fan art/fan fic exchange thread, I was asked to make a Jaune X Ruby story, preferably as awkward as possible. Well, that should be easy. So, shout out to /u/GrimmLocke420 on Reddit for making this deal! Oh, and before we start, there's a few things I need to cover. First, this story isn't canon with the rest of my Draiggverse stories, it's a "What if?" story. Secondly, I don't own RWBY, Monty Oum does. In fact, I don't own anything I put in here. But, enough stalling, let's observe how the socially awkward date!
xxx
In hindsight to nearly everyone who heard the news, it was surprising that Jaune actually had the balls to ask out a girl on a date. Yet again, it was with the only girl with equally poor social skills to match, Ruby Rose. So, if anything, at least it kind of made sense.
So, now that the day had arrived that the date was going to take place, Ruby was sitting around like a limp fish, watching some of her teammates as they rushed around the dorm room. They were taking all of this date prep time WAY more seriously than she did.
"Just where in HELL is the clothing starch?!" Weiss angrily snarled to the room.
She paced around the room, clutching one of Ruby's finer dresses in her cold grip. Yet again, maybe "paced" isn't the most descriptive way to describe how the heiress looked. It was more akin to a cornered animal, ready to strike out at something it hated. Yes, that's more accurate.
"I don't see why it matters. He sure as heck won't be looking at the fabric," Yang chimed in. Right then, she was busying herself by fluffing up Ruby's hair to be more presentable.
Stopping in place, Weiss huffed, "And what do you mean by that?"
Yang shrugged. "Just sayin', he's gonna be looking more at the assets than the dress,". She then stopped working on Ruby's hair to squeeze her chest. If Weiss didn't get the message, then she was more of a lost cause than Jaune.
Fortunately for her, Weiss wasn't as dense as a dwarf star. As a small blush crossed her nose at the thought, she replied, "Don't make this about sex, Yang! Dates don't always end up with time in the bedroom!"
"I dunno, that happened to me. Right, Blake?" Yang asked to the cat Faunus sitting in the corner.
Barely glancing up from her book, Blake flatly said, "Don't bring me into this."
"Hey, it's the truth," Yang muttered, before going back to fluffing up Ruby's hair.
The room then grew as quiet as it could possibly get. But, between the rustling of turning pages, pained groans from Ruby when Yang pulled at her hair, and Weiss completely turning over the room for a can of starch, it wasn't all that peaceful. It was close enough, at least.
Five minutes after the (noisy) quiet fell over the room, a bunch of muffled noises began to be heard from behind the dorm room door. Confused, Team RWBY stopped whatever they were doing to see what the commotion just outside was.
Walking over to the door, Yang was able to tell the noises on the other end were actually the lyrics to a song. Now she had a good idea of who was on the other side. Her hunch was immediately proven correct as she opened the door to reveal Jaune, kneeling in front of the dorm room entrance, holding up a boom box for everyone to hear.
"Hey now, Hey now/
Don't dream it's ove—"
The song was cut off by Yang pressing the stop button on the boom box. Jaune gave Yang an awkward look, before putting down the music player and stiffly standing up in the doorway.
"Is, uh, Ruby there? It's time for us to go," Jaune asked as he tried to look into the room behind Yang's head.
"You were supposed to show up at six o'clock!" Weiss complained from inside.
"What're you talking about? It's that—" Jaune said as he pulled out his scroll to check the time. Then, he realized his mistake. He was about forty-five minutes early. "Oh. Never mind…" he muttered in apology. He really needed to set the right time on the digital clock in Team JNPR's dorm room.
"Jaune? You're ready to go already?" the yellow swordsman heard Ruby ask.
"Well, y-yeah, but if you're not r-ready…" Jaune stammered as he rubbed the back of his neck. He had cocked up the date, and it hadn't even started yet! Man, so much for all the confidence he built up before coming here.
But then, to Jaune's relief, Ruby walked past Yang and joined him in the hallway. "I'm, ah, ready too," she said as she used her hands to put her hair back to the way normally was. Behind her, Yang silently threw her hands up in frustration and retreated deeper into the dorm room. Great, her work amounted to jack shit.
"Wait! Your dress!" Weiss pointed out at her partner, shaking the clothing at Ruby.
Nonplussed, Ruby straightened out her combat skirt and lightly brushed off her top. "I think I'm good in this," she shrugged.
Frustrated, Weiss tossed the dress on her bunk and glowered at Ruby. "Fine! Whatever! Just don't come back looking like even worse than you do now!" she growled. She then sat on her bunk, humphed, and crossed her arms. This was Weiss' shorthand for "I'm SO fucking done with you for now.". It's truly amazing how much body language can convey in so few motions.
Regardless of her teammates' annoyance, Ruby turned to Jaune and asked, "Are you ready?"
Jaune decided this was the best opportunity to try and regain some of his swagger. "Pfft, yeah! Totally! Let's go to the snack bar!"
Nodding at his suggestion, Ruby began to walk down the hallway. Jaune, however, realized that it would be annoying as all hell to lug around a boom box with his pop mixtape in it on this date. So, doing the most rational choice, he edged the stereo into Team RWBY's dorm room with his foot.
That, of course, got him a few stares from the members of Team RWBY that were paying attention. He tried to smooth over his gaffe with a smile and a thumbs up, but Yang and Weiss kept on staring.
"Yeah…" Jaune awkwardly muttered under his breath before quickly shutting the door.
So far, this date was on a rollicking good start.
xxx
The Beacon Academy Snack Bar wasn't exactly the most romantic of places to take someone out on a date. Sure, it was next to the rather nice botanical gardens. But, the fact remained that it was still on school grounds, and it was about as sophisticated as a brown plastic cup. And, the stuff they served there was about as nutritious as one as well, but that was neither here nor there.
But, unlike that awkwardly worded metaphor, Jaune and Ruby were actually there, just as the sun was ready to begin its daily descent beyond the horizon.
Cedric the cashier drummed his fingers on the counter as he saw his two customers staring at the menu. There had been looking at it for, oh, about five minutes or so. Were they going to get around to ordering something, or what?
Hoping to move them along, Cedric suggested, "I can just get you hot dogs or someth—" before being shushed by Jaune.
"Please, don't rush the lady!" Jaune said in Ruby's (unneeded) defense.
Sighing, Cedric went back to tapping his fingertips on the wood of the snack bar counter. It was at times like this that he really wondered if the small paycheck he earned here was really worth it.
Eventually, salvation came with Ruby saying, "Can I, uh, get two burgers with no onions?"
Nodding, Cedric punched in the price for two burgers. The register readout said it would cost ten lien. Then, shifting his gaze at Jaune, he asked, "And for you?"
Jaune pulled out his wallet and looked at the lien stashed inside. He briefly paused at the sight and gulped. Then, pulling out all the money he brought with him, he awkwardly replied, "I'm good, thank you,". Of course, that wasn't true at all. He was pretty hungry, and he didn't have enough cash to pay for him and Ruby. But, he had to sacrifice his meal! His honor and the date depended on his selflessness! He was truly being a chivalrous knight (in his mind)!
Taking the lien, Cedric put it in the register and got to work on the burgers. Fortunately for everyone there, most of the time the snack bar used pre-frozen burgers to serve. So, Cedric just had to pick out the onions and nuke them in the microwave for a few minutes.
Three grueling, awkward minutes passed. Ruby tried to hum an uplifting song, but her vocals were overpowered by the noises the decades-old microwave was making. It sounded like a vibrator specifically made for hippos or elephants. Or, barring that, a speedboat in desperate need of repair.
"Ding!" went the microwave. Finally, Ruby's meal was done. Cedric slapped the burgers onto a paper plate and slid them over to Ruby.
"Enjoy," the cashier tiredly said, before deciding that cleaning his nails was way more interesting than his job.
Taking her meal, Ruby walked over to the nearby iron-wrought tables, with Jaune shuffling after her.
As Jaune sat down, be briefly pondered on how to work out this date.
"Mom always said that I'm a good talker. And a good listener. Talking is what people do the most on dates, right? I can totally do that. Don't mention how hungry you are. Don't talk about how you have the urge to take a bite out of one of her burgers. Think of cold showers, baseball, stuff like that. Not food. Most certainly not delicious food."
"So, uh, what are you watching? Like, TV shows, I mean," Jaune said as he watched Ruby take a large bite out of her food. Damn, those burgers looked really good right now.
Ruby looked thoughtful as she chewed. Swallowing, she answered, "I watched a few episodes of Poppy Plaza yesterday. Does that count?"
"Yeah, it IS on TV. How was it?" pressed Jaune further.
"I love those puppets!" Ruby enthusiastically exclaimed, dumping her burger on her plate. Then, looking around shiftily, she added, "I may or may not have the DVDs at home."
Jaune was politely nodding at what Ruby had to say. It was nice to hear her be enthusiastic about something other than weapons, dreams of being a huntress, or everything in between.
"I used to watch it all the time. Sleuthy Fox was always my favorite," the swordsman reminisced. He personally found it cool how the inquisitive fox could always find cool books about knights and adventures to leap into. Heck, he still had his old Sleuthy Fox slippers in his closet back at home. He just couldn't bear to get rid of them. They were just so soft!
"Aww, he's so cool! And I love the jokes between him and Ella Kazaam!" Ruby said, now getting really engaged in this train of thought.
"Wow, aren't you a clever fox!" paraphrased Jaune. It was the usual catchphrase that Sleuthy Foxes' partner, Ella Kazaam, always said after the fox detective managed to help out the storybook characters he met.
Ruby had to admit, Jaune could do a really good impression of Ella Kazaam. She couldn't help but chuckle a little not only at how good it was, but also at hearing Jaune's voice get high-pitched and kind of girly.
Jaune smiled. He was glad that he was able to make Ruby laugh. It was pretty cute, how she giggled at things. At least he thought so. He would give a lot just to hear it again. He was that glad at having caused and heard it. Soon enough, he joined Ruby in laughing along at his impression. Her laughter was just too contagious.
"Ah ha! Hahahahahahahahaha *cough* ahahahaha *wheeze*" went Jaune. His throat was too dry to keep on laughing.
The laugher soon died down with Jaune's coughing fit. Both Ruby and Jaune sighed with content. That bit of laughter sure did make them feel better than before.
"So, heh, what about you? Watch anything good?" Ruby asked back at Jaune.
"Lock and Rinde. Ever see their clips on DustTube?" Jaune offered.
"Meh. Not really," said the cloaked girl.
"What? Oh man, you're missing out! I need to show you some right now!" Jaune said in surprise, before dragging his chair right next to where Ruby sat.
As Ruby wolfed down more of her meal of burgers, Jaune pulled out his scroll to look up some Lock and Rinde clips. Just as Ruby shoved the last of her food down her throat, Jaune turned to her and said, "Trust me, you're gonna love it."
Curious, Ruby looked at the screen of Jaune's scroll. On it, apparently some guy was trying to speak to high-school students on life choices and consequences. But then he kept on adding in weird stuff, like being sucked into a wormhole back in time, or being launched out of a catapult into the mouth of a dragon. She couldn't help but laugh at the weird stuff this guy was coming up with. Jaune was right, this was pretty funny!
After that, Jaune showed Ruby more and more clips, and Ruby kept on laughing at every one. The ones about a creepy dying child, a bunch of zombies racist against Faunus, weird professional sports names, and a fat nerd trying to sound cooler than he was, more specifically. Or, as Jaune would have put them, "the classics".
xxx
The pair of them lost track of time, the both absorbed in the comedy on Jaune's scroll. Skit after skit, time was ignored until the last possible moment. By the time Jaune noticed how late it was getting, the light from his scroll was illuminating the silver in Ruby's eyes.
"Wow… I never noticed them before…" was his distant thought. They light up nicely with the mirthful sparks she was feeling, not just from the artificial light. Ruby really did look cute when she laughed. Jaune felt that he could get more than used to that look, that glow.
Then, his attention was pulled by the approaching darkness of the night. "Man, it's late already?" Jaune questioned towards the deepening dusk.
That got Ruby's attention as well. "Wow, no kidding," she observed.
"I guess I should take you back, eh?" suggested Jaune as he slipped his scroll back into his jeans pocket. Even if it wasn't explicitly said, he had the feeling that Yang would turn his tongue into a fine necktie if he brought her sister back late at night.
"I guess," conceded Ruby.
Both Jaune and Ruby stood up from their chairs. After making sure to push them back in (they weren't raised as barbarians, after all), the socially awkward pair made their way towards the dormitory building.
As Jaune was walking next to Ruby, he could feel a small hand slip into his grip. Now that was a shock. He looked at Ruby out of the corner of his eye, wanting to see just what she was doing. What he saw was a decent sized blush on her face, and her head slightly lowered. By the way she was acting, this might have been the first time she held hands romantically with someone.
Jaune liked that idea. Returning the favor, he firmed his grip around Ruby's hand. If he had to guess, Ruby probably blushed even deeper. He wouldn't know, as she ducked her head a little lower at the increased contact.
Neither gave up their grip, at least until they were facing their dorm room doors directly in the face.
Letting go, Jaune turned to face Ruby. "I think this is where we say good night to each other, Ruby."
But then, instead of the expected "see ya", Jaune was pulled into a hug by the surprisingly strong girl.
"I… had a really good time tonight. Th-thanks…" Ruby whispered to the lanky blonde.
Jaune returned the hug. It was nice, soft, and warm. Just like the way Ruby laughed, or the spark of life in her eyes. It was nice. Pretty damn nice, indeed.
"R-right. Any t-time," Jaune stuttered back.
Then, the both of them broke off the hug. They stood there stiffly, unsure how to act after that expression of each other's affection.
Ruby was first to act by edging towards her room door. "See ya, then" she said in a low voice.
"Yeah. S-see you later," Jaune said as he stiffly spun around and opened the door to his dorm room.
Without a second look, Ruby and Jaune both retreated back into their rooms, back to their homes away from home.
But, the one thing that the both had to admit was that it certainly felt much more like home tonight.
xxx
See? I can write stuff other than White Rose and Bumblebee too! Admittedly, I don't really know how I did writing this pairing, so please leave me some feedback on how it was pulled off. Oh, and credit to Crowded House for "Don't Dream It's Over". Gotta appreciate the classics, right? Because 80's stuff is the shit. Except for leg warmers. What a tacky bunch of crap. Like a lot of the 80's actually now that I think about it. But let's ignore that. Instead, I want to give another shout out to /u/GrimmLocke420 for getting me to write this thing. I hope that he likes it! And I hope all of you like it!
This has been The Draigg, and I'm signing off for now!