Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine...but Kagome is^^...and Kouga...
Will of Love
Oh how she loves his bright silver hair that looked like treasures of strands that glisten in the sun…how she felt happy whenever he'd looked at her with those golden eyes of his that felt like melting her body…how she always wished to hear his voice that for her sounded a melody whenever he's angry, sad or even in despair. How she loves everything about him- that there have been many times she crossed the boundaries of limitations just to reach him…the well, her past self, and many more.
Oh she really loves him…she really does. However, it seems that even her love for him has its own limit.
The sun was setting low but the hotness of the sun still remained on the crowded room. Each one grouped themselves to talk about different ideas- she was with her friends…and was forced to talk about her own love life.
"You know Kagome…I think that grizzly boyfriend of yours doesn't deserve you" Eri commented without any guilt.
Kagome was about to reply or more likely spout some nonsense when her friend continued, successfully blocking her.
"I mean…I heard this saying...-"
Everybody looked at her…even Kagome was curious…what did a saying have to do with her love life?
"Well, it is about three persons talking about love…um...compared to an elevator"
Her eyebrow rose…but didn't say anything.
"First person said: Why do you have to ride the elevator when there's a stair just beside…you simply need to look for it"
Kouga? Hojo? Anyone else? They have always been there for her…but why can't just her heart take yes for them…why can't she just say "I can move on…and be with one of them". But that one thought could give her immense pain that she has to clutch her chest and sooth it with soft whispers of begging.
They were handsome…and they lo-lov—like her. And people always tell that you could also learn to love…just like a lesson that you take in schools.
Then why is it painful to think of that? Why is moving seemed so difficult for her. Why did she have to fall in love?
"Second person: Why do you have to take the stairs when the elevator will go back to you again…you just need to wait for it"
Wait? Wait for what? Her death?
No way…she's not like that. She promised to stay by his side and that's all. She never forced him to choose. She never wanted him to choose…because, even right now…she knows who will it be in the end.
"Third person said: Why would I want to ride on the elevator when I'm not the only one it wants to take?"
Kikyou, her past self…more beautiful, more graceful, more talented and more in everything else. She was just like clone…a reincarnation that only serves its purpose in being compared to a beautiful mistress. She was nothing- just a fake.
Kikyou was everything she was not. Kikyou was everything Inuyasha has ever wanted all his life. Kikyou was the one that Inuyasha pledged his life to…and she…she was just in the middle, a blockage of the two hearts that are supposed to connect.
"Kagome? A—are you all right?"
"Kagome?"
She stands up, but it felt like a thousand tons of brick were gathered on her feet…but she needed to leave…needed to find peace where she can bowls her eye out.
"Kagome, hey?"
"Yeah, I'm good…" an answer that never reached her fake smile.
"Where are you going?"
"Home…I'm feeling sick" Sick of everything….tired…pained…wounded….and confused.
"Ah-ok, do you need help?"
"No, I'm all right" That felt bitter on her tongue….
On that night…she stayed on her room, clutching her pillow on her face…with dried tears lying on it and on her cheeks…
"Oi, wench, are you all right ?"
She immediately woke up from her reverie seeing the worried looks of her friends. With haste, she closed her eyes and closed the remorse that seemed to be gobbling her inside out. Opening them again, she answered with a smile…"Yeah, sorry 'bout that… I was a little bit tired."
She prolonged her smile, trying to ease the unbelieving looks of her friends. Fortunately, they believed her but with Sango giving her a meaningful look that says "later" and with him a longer stare that made her heart ache in more confusion.
She loves him…but he doesn't….
She glances at him and suddenly catches his eyes doing the same. Wanting not to be embarrassed, she gave him a smile which he returned with a serious frown then a turn of his head.
On those moments, where she knows he's watching her…every bit of pain left inside her seemingly vanishes into thin air- that she would with no fear face the next day even with the awareness of what the reality speaks.
She loves him….and that's what matters….she'll live for him….she'll do everything for him…unless he doesn't want to anymore….she's always be there for him.
So focused on her thought, she didn't notice the stone that was lying silently on the ground until she felt herself falling with a large scream….she waited for the impact, waited for the hard pain to come…but it didn't, instead she felt herself being lifted up into a broad and strong back.
Her eyes widening as she realized what was happening. "If you're really that tired…just say so…wench"
That soared her heart into the sky….a feeling she rarely felt.
When the time comes, she wouldn't force herself on him…she'll watch by his side and support him...them…Because for now, he is with her…and that's enough.
"Thank you, Inuyasha" and she closes her eyes falling into the vast happiness that she created…
Fast asleep, she never saw the tranquil smile of her hanyou friend…whom seemed like he was the happiest person on the world.
A/N: I hope you do understand what I mean in the very end...^^...review pls..