The gravestone is simple, cold, hard much like him. Standing there my mind drifts back to our last conversation…
Loud music pumps through speakers above my head, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and sweat is intoxicating. I push my way through the mass of bodies gyrating together on a makeshift dance floor. Heat courses through my veins and my head spins overwhelmed by the smell and taste of the abandoned warehouse. I wonder how many people on the floor are criminals, most, is my guess.
Hands slide over me as I pass but I don't stop I'm looking for someone. Cameron.
I see him sitting in a corner a girl on his lap; I try to ignore the stab of pain at seeing him with someone else. I dumped him; he's allowed to move on.
"Cameron! A word?" I yell my tone icy.
If he's surprised to see me here he doesn't let on.
"Sure Babe, anything for you." My lips twitch at the irony of that statement. He'd never done anything for me. But I turn and walk towards one of the exits, knowing he'll follow.
A rush of cool air greats me as I step outside. The air here is crisp and feels cool against my skin. It tastes of metal and salt.
Cameron pauses behind me and waits for me to speak.
"So they finally let you out?" My voice is soft. I can drop the act now we're alone.
"Yeh, but you knew that." He speaks cautiously; he's not sure where I'm going with this. He's angry as well I can hear it in his voice. I'm not sure why.
I look up at the sky; the factories in this area make it impossible to see the stars, something to do with the light and the smoke.
"You must be glad." It's not a question and I still don't turn to face him. It's awkward talking to him now, we're different people, we no longer fit together.
"Somehow I don't think your here for small talk." Perhaps he knows me better than I give him credit for.
I miss that not having to talk to be understood. I want him back, because he gets me and no one else does. I turn to him and touch my hand to his arm. "Come with me, join us." Because deep in his heart I know he's a good person.
"What? Your new team, isn't satisfying you?" He sounds bitter, jealous almost and he jerks his arm away from me.
"It's not too late Cam. Please." I let a bit of my desperation show through in my voice. I've always found it hard to be tough around him. Whatever he's done I know he can change.
"Why do you care so much?" His tone is cold, years of pent up anger seeping through. He doesn't forgive me for leaving him that much is now clear.
"Cameron." I say reaching out to him again "You're my best friend; you're the only person that knows me for who I am and still cares about me." It's not enough I can tell, so for the first time in years I let myself be vulnerable.
"I need you." His eyes are locked on mine and for a moment I'm lost in ice blue. "Without you I'm so alone. I always have to be tough, unfeeling, I'm not allowed to get emotional or make mistakes."
I'm rambling now but I don't stop Maybe if I convince him I need him, he'll come back.. "I could really use someone to talk to." I can feel the burn of tears in the back of my eyes; I refuse to break down, not even for him. I look away scared he'll reject me, now I remember why I don't do this.
His hand comes up to cup my cheek. "I'm always here for you, Babe, no matter what side you're on." Maybe he does forgive me.
"Couldn't you be on myside for once?" He looks at me, sadness written all over his face, he's never had a problem showing how he felt. "If I can change so can you." I try to sound determined. My voice wavers slightly.
"Maybe, but we both know I'd never stick to it, I guess I'm just not as strong as you."
"Then be strong." The wind whips his hair and the moon shines in his eyes. "Don't just wimp out without trying."
"Babe, I think it's time we both let go." His voice is calm.
"What if I can't?" I whisper. His arms wrap around me and pull me close. "Please just do one good thing."
"Fine." He says and I smile blindingly. "God girl, you're going to be the death of me."…
My Lips twitch at the irony of that statement, a sad smile, but I won't cry, not even for him.
A/N: I'm not entirely satisfied with this, It's not my best but I thought it was about time I posted it.