Title: Have You Seen My...?
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters.
Everyone was busy adding ingredients to their Alertness Serum when Draco raised his hand.
"What is it, Malfoy," inquired Snape, only half paying attention.
"Sir, my penis is missing," announced Draco in a loud, clear voice.
"How unfortunate. Continue with your serum, Mr. Malfoy."
"Sir, I need to find it. It's terribly important."
"How the hell did you lose your penis," demanded Harry.
"Yeah," said Ron, "How do you lose your own penis?"
"As opposed to someone else's penis, Ron," said Hermione sarcastically.
"Oh yeah...".
"Maybe it fell in the toilet and he flushed it," proposed Neville.
"Nah," said Draco. "I still had it after I used the bathroom this morning."
Snape heaved a gusty sigh and let his book fall shut.
"Everyone look for Malfoy's penis," he snapped. "Now!"
"But sir-."
"Miss Granger, do as I say."
"Will this be on our test?"
"Goyle...go look in the sink."
Snape towered above his class, surveying their work as they searched everywhere for Draco's missing penis. The student's searched, and searched some more. The searched under tables, inside vials, between the pages of their textbooks. Still no sign of the penis. Dean Thomas upended the wastepaper basket and rummaged through wads of crumpled parchment. Neville checked Trevor's mouth.
"How in hell do you misplace an entire penis?"
"Remember the time you lost your left testicle for an entire week?"
Harry was so involved in looking for Draco's penis he was scared out of his wits when everything suddenly went dark.
"Get the hell out from under there," snarled Snape, reaching beneath his robes and pulling out a very shocked Harry Potter.
"Sorry, sir".
"Twenty points from Gryffindor, you pervert!" Snape bent down so that his hot breath caressed Harry's ear. "Meet me in my chamber tonight. The password is 'international fuckwit'".
Harry grinned.
"Found it!" A triumphant Hermione raised her hand so all could see Draco's penis in her firm grip.
"Where'd you find it?"
"I just remembered I used it to-".
"Nevermind, Granger. Give it here. If you want a reward, I can try it out on you to make sure it's working alright."
Hermione grinned. Then, the door flung open and in walked Lupin wearing a loincloth, and holding a piece of bread.
"Has anyone seen the hotdog Hermione lent me?"
~FIN~
A/N: Silly, yes, but it was fun to write! Tell me what ya think!
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters.
Everyone was busy adding ingredients to their Alertness Serum when Draco raised his hand.
"What is it, Malfoy," inquired Snape, only half paying attention.
"Sir, my penis is missing," announced Draco in a loud, clear voice.
"How unfortunate. Continue with your serum, Mr. Malfoy."
"Sir, I need to find it. It's terribly important."
"How the hell did you lose your penis," demanded Harry.
"Yeah," said Ron, "How do you lose your own penis?"
"As opposed to someone else's penis, Ron," said Hermione sarcastically.
"Oh yeah...".
"Maybe it fell in the toilet and he flushed it," proposed Neville.
"Nah," said Draco. "I still had it after I used the bathroom this morning."
Snape heaved a gusty sigh and let his book fall shut.
"Everyone look for Malfoy's penis," he snapped. "Now!"
"But sir-."
"Miss Granger, do as I say."
"Will this be on our test?"
"Goyle...go look in the sink."
Snape towered above his class, surveying their work as they searched everywhere for Draco's missing penis. The student's searched, and searched some more. The searched under tables, inside vials, between the pages of their textbooks. Still no sign of the penis. Dean Thomas upended the wastepaper basket and rummaged through wads of crumpled parchment. Neville checked Trevor's mouth.
"How in hell do you misplace an entire penis?"
"Remember the time you lost your left testicle for an entire week?"
Harry was so involved in looking for Draco's penis he was scared out of his wits when everything suddenly went dark.
"Get the hell out from under there," snarled Snape, reaching beneath his robes and pulling out a very shocked Harry Potter.
"Sorry, sir".
"Twenty points from Gryffindor, you pervert!" Snape bent down so that his hot breath caressed Harry's ear. "Meet me in my chamber tonight. The password is 'international fuckwit'".
Harry grinned.
"Found it!" A triumphant Hermione raised her hand so all could see Draco's penis in her firm grip.
"Where'd you find it?"
"I just remembered I used it to-".
"Nevermind, Granger. Give it here. If you want a reward, I can try it out on you to make sure it's working alright."
Hermione grinned. Then, the door flung open and in walked Lupin wearing a loincloth, and holding a piece of bread.
"Has anyone seen the hotdog Hermione lent me?"
~FIN~
A/N: Silly, yes, but it was fun to write! Tell me what ya think!