Disclaimer: I do not own the show or any of the characters. Don't sue.
Driving me wild
A/N: It's a one shot. For the first time I'll be using a first person narrative. Hope you will like it. It's just a way to take my mind of my drama.
"She's driving me wild" I thought as I looked at those feminine curves under the bed sheet. Her red hair were threwn across the pillow and half of my face, bringing delicate coconut scent to my nostrils. She turned around. I felt her rear cuddling onto my loins. A chill thrill crossed my spine. It was almost painful. I used all my self control not to grab her. It was all so complicated, painful and now... unbearable.
I met Kim a couple of years back. When I first saw her she was surrounded by flames. It seemed as if a Demon ascended from Hell to take my soul. Her bright eyes were looking at me, piercing my dark soul. But back then we had other relations and I was in a relationship. I went away for couple of months, showing myself only for job. And every time I have been seeing her something moved inside me. Almost as if my heart begun to pound again.
I have returned after ten months just to pick up my partner and to move away from this nightmarish place. Even my aweful boss could not stop me. I wanted to start my life over. Some friends organized a farewell party. Well, my partner's friends as I did not have any of my own. In the middle of nowhere, somewhere between the fireplace and ruins of old buildings people were having fun. Suprisingly there she was. Looking at me mysteriously. She asked me to come with her. I was worried she want to fight me out of this place, but no. She took me to the side of ruined building and looked at me with watering eyes. She told me she will miss me. "You are one of three most important women in my life" she said and hugged me. I was completely confused. She wipped on my shoulder, so I hugged her and cherished that simple moment. I knew I was already promised to someone else, but my heart could not accept it. I silenced it and my disgraceful feelings. We went away.
Even though every day seemed to be lived in happiness and joy, without Drakken and GJ threatening my life, something was missing. Every night when I was falling asleep, listening to my partner's light breathing, I thought of her vibrant eyes; her delicate, yet evillish smile; graceful and feminine movements. My mind was in chaos and heart was confused. But I lived my life on. I understood that I am in love with her and I chased away my feelings to the deepest corner of my soul.
Due to some mishaps my partner and I have returned. I was back on track with my job. Being the most powerful woman on the globe, that was it. But being Shego is not everythng. I had my private life no one cared about. Again there was a party. A welcome kind of one. There she was... the host. My heart almost exploded as I did not know how to behave. The party went on. I drank a bit and just as a form of a joke touched her tigh.
"Don't touch me, Shego!" She said angrilly. I did not understand what have I done but respected her will. Other girls did the same. So I asked her for the purpose of her disapproval. "You're a lesbo, Shego" She pointed out and I felt like a leper. I moved away. I moved back into the darkness where I belonged. Yet when she was hurt or feeling unwell she came asking me for help. Not anyone else. It caused only more confusion in my heart.
Soon my relationship has begun to get messy and connection with my partner has begun to shred. So all of a sudden my partner broke up with me. As a kind of separation. I was coming back from a mission... stealing something from radio engineers. All messy, burned and... just looking like shit. I walked into K's apartment hoping... no! Wishing for a confession. We had a talk. And all I can remember was: "I won't sleep with you Shego!" How, on Earth, could she take me for such shallow person? I wanted to scream: I don't wanna just sleep with you! I love you with all my heart, you blind, bi-bitch! But I did not say a word. Just changed a topic and forced her to believe she misunderstood me. Although after a short while something extraordinary has happened. She gave me her friendship. Something I have never had. And I cherished it with all I had. But it did not stop my feelings... unfortunately.
I have been in another two separations with my partner until we have finally broke up for good. My friendship with K grew in strength and so did my love for her. My partner became my friend and life turned out almost fine. Almost... I am Shego. I can burn with my plasma cities, hurt people, do horrible things and live with that. But I cannot find enough courage to tell about my feeling to a girl I love with most honest love. Maybe I am too scared to lose my only friend or maybe I am just a coward. None the less I honestly try to be happy of those tiny gestures she offers me: a hug, a smile, a gentle touch on my head. She knows me from my darkest side, so she had to be crazy to even give me a chance. Though it never stopped me from dreaming about it every single moment of my life.
So I got stuck under covers with her. Thinking of the longest hug she has ever offerd me as she misundestood my feelings toward her with sadness after breakup; enjoying the fact she allowed me to hug her underneath the covers. Thinking of everytime she sang, danced and... well, she was just being Kim. She is sleeping soundly while I have these thoughts. Even while she sleeps I am too scared to caress her cheek or touch her hand as I recpect her in every possible way. I want and always will protect her, help her in any way she pleases to. I am for her and always will. No matter how the future will turn up for us. So I just lay on her chest as she allowed me to and listen to her heart hoping, wishing and praying that one day it will beat for me.
A/N: Don't ask... just enjoy ;)
Sova