I DO NOT OWE REGULAR SHOW!
CREDIT: radredknuxfan proofread this chapter.
Things you should know:
*Daniel (Mordecai's father) Wears sunglasses,is a bit taller than Mordecai.
*Lesley (Rigby's father) - Wears a tartan skirt(kilt),is Scottish,about as tall and buffed as Don and has bad grammar.
R&R!
The 80's Rock!
While he and Rigby were driving in the cart, Mordecai turned on We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister. It was the best way to keep the raccoon from being annoying and complaining about when they would arrive.
The blue jay tapped on the cart with his free hand, concentrating on the music.
It was Father's Day and Benson agreed to let Mordecai and Rigby have the day off. How were they going to spend it? With their fathers of course! ...Well, at first they were going to use it to go the arcade and play till their fingers would bleed and their eyes would shut but Rigby's father surprised them by calling them over. Of course his best friend Daniel (also known as Mordecai's father) would be there too.
So since they failed to find any real excuse on why they couldn't come they ended up driving off to Lesley's place. The ride would take 2 hours and even with the music on, Rigby was getting impatient. "Ugh…how much longer?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't make us arrive any sooner."
Rigby sighed and placed his hands under his head and closed his eyes, "Wake me up when we get there."
Mordecai lowered the sound and kept driving. It was still a long road ahead of them.
He already imagined what the disaster that awaits. His father would probably be spending the whole week planning on how he would embarrass or prank Mordecai or both. And Rigby's father will most likely just sit there and every time he would open his mouth a burp would come out or something incredibly stupid. Yes, both of their fathers were pretty immature and had a pickle for a brain.
The bird turned to the left. They were getting closer.
There was nothing more Mordecai would want to do then to turn around and go to the coffee shop. But Margaret was also spending the day with her dad, which wasn't that much of a surprise. They seemed to be pretty tight.
Mordecai saw the sign of the village Lesley lived in. He was getting more and more anxious with every turn, as he really didn't want to deal with his father. He loved him of course, but he thought he was being a real jerk.
Rigby slowly opened his eyes as he felt his friend's hand shaking him, "Wake up dude, we're here." The raccoon fully opened his eyes and sat up. "This is gonna be terrible." he grunted.
Mordecai couldn't agree more. But he got out of the cart and Rigby did the same. They looked before them. There stood a small white house that was starting to turn yellow. Apparently someone must have been too lazy to fix it.
Daniel appeared on the opened window, "Well, look what we have here."
"Hey dad." greeted Mordecai with not much excitement in his voice.
Soon Lesley joined his friend. "Ay! Riglad!" In one of his hands was a bottle of whiskey. How ironic.
Rigby turned to the blue one. "Let's just get this over with."
"Agreed." said Mordecai and they walked inside.
As soon as they got in, they gagged at the sight. There was an old, spoiled pizza on the floor and many other meals that also had flies dancing on top of them.
They were even more grossed out when their fathers picked up a piece of that pizza, toasted with it and then started eating it. It's true that Mordecai and Rigby were lazy slackers but they weren't THAT nasty.
"Uhh...can we go to another room?" asked Mordecai.
Daniel looked at his best friend, smirking, "What do you say? Will we let Mordepeepants enjoy his stay in another room?"
Lesley let out a loud burp then wiped his mouth, "I think that would be ..." he raised his finger, thinking of his next words for a few seconds, "A very good idea."
Mordecai directed a frown at his dad, "I told you not to call me that."
Daniel chuckled as they started walking to the bedroom, "Are you saying you didn't pee your pants?"
"I was 7! Get over it!"
They all walked in the room and Rigby closed the door.
There was clothing all over the floor, but the room was more decent than the living room. After they pushed the junk off the bed they sat on it.
"So..." Daniel rubbed his palms against one another, "What do we do… what do we do."
"You're not gonna prank me are you?" questioned Mordecai, irritated.
"No! Of course not sport! Why would I want to do that?"
"Um, because you do it every Father's Day?"
"This time is not the time before!" stated Rigby's father," What we gonna do is... we gonna tell stories."
"Awesome, I have a really good one about Mordepeepants!"
"No." protested Mordecai.
Rigby smiled, "I know!" he looked at his father, "Why don't you tell us a story when you were young like us?"
Daniel crossed his arms,"Hm. You calling us old?"
"No no...I'm just calling you..." Rigby tried to find the right word, "...not that young."
"Yeah. Face it dad, you're not in your 20's anymore." pointed out the smaller blue jay, "Even though your brain stayed the same as it was way back then."
"Way back, ay?" Lesley chuckled, "It doesn't see that far away to me!" he poked Daniel, "Remember all the crazy shit we got into?"
Daniel smiled, "How could I forget?"
"Remember when you met...Gaia?" he poked him with his shoulder.
Daniel let out a small awkward laugh, "Oh yeah."
Mordecai and Rigby eyed each other. They were now interested in hearing more.
Mordecai looked at his father, "How did you meet mom?"
Daniel dropped his arms; a smile was still seen on his face. "Well..." he took off his shades, "It all happened one summer day..."
Story 1: Star-Crossed Lover.
Daniel and Lesley were just two 23 year olds, with a lousy job and an immature attitude.
Since they were in the 80's, Daniel had his hair slicked back, and he wore red big round sunglasses and a blue shirt with shoulder pads. Lesley's hair fell to his shoulders but as for his clothing even back then he only wore his Irish skirt.
"You two slackers better be working in there!"
"Oh crap, it's Johnson!" Daniel said and gulped down his soda, the raccoon doing the same. They then threw it on the other site of the factory.
Just in time too, because their boss soon opened the door, who happened to be a fairly big toilet. "What are you doing?!"
"Um." started Daniel, "We're just looking at the toilet paper watching out for any mistakes."
"Good, continue what you were doing then!" their boss slammed the door. The word assholes was heard from outside.
"Heh, if we're assholes does that mean we get to take a dump in him?"
Daniel made a disgusted expression, and so did Lesley once he thought over what he's just said. "Well, that came out a tad bit wrong."
"Let's just keep looking at these stupid rolls." suggested Daniel and turned his attention to the toilet paper on the conveyor belt, "We seriously have the crappiest job ever."
"Ay, look on the bright side!"
"There is no bright side. We work in the toilet paper factory for a walking toilet who talks shit. I won't even start on the payment."
CRASH!
The two friends turned their heads and saw a huge rock on the floor next to a broken window. They stood up and walked to the window, getting a good view of the protesters.
"Oh great. Hippies again." glared Daniel.
"Save the trees!" they heard some woman yell.
"They just some lazy lads who get in a protest to get outta work."
Daniel turned to his best friend with a surprised look on his face, "What did you just say?"
"Lazy lads."
"After that."
"Who."
"Who get in a protest to... get out of work." Daniel rubbed his chin, thinking it out. He then pointed a finger at Lesley, grinning. "Dude..you're a genius! All we need to do is tell Johnson we're joining the protest. He can't say 'no', it's against the law!"
Lesley grinned, "And then we won't have to work!"
"Exactly." confirmed Daniel and after that they raised their arms,"Oooooohhhh!"
The door opened again, "Shut up and get back to work!"
Daniel crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall,"Hm. No way shiteater."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"We gonna go to the protest!" explained Lesley.
"And you have to let us or else we'll sue you." added Daniel and low fived the raccoon.
"AND THAT KEEPS ME FROM FIRING YOU FOR CALLING ME SHITEATER HOW?!"
Daniel and Lesley looked at each other than Daniel let his arms fall and looked back at their boss, "Well...the judge won't know that now will he?"
After saying that, he low fived the raccoon again and then ran to the door.
"GET BACK HERE!"
Ignoring their boss, they got outside and mixed themselves with the hippies who were shouting 'save the trees!' repeatedly.
Daniel chuckled, "Dude, they are so lame."
"I agree with ya. They think smoking weed will bring world peace!"
"Yeah..."
"And hugging trees! What's the deal with that?!"
"Yeah..."
Lesley raised his eyebrow and waved a hand by his friends eyes which seemed to be stuck on something...or someone, "Earth to Daniel!"
Since the bird didn't reply, Lesley turned to see what he was looking at. There was another blue jay not so far away, and it was a she. And she really did stand out. With her perfect feathers and long blue hair, "Save the trees!" she was shouting with the crowd.
"Oh ho ho..." Leslie teased, "Looks like you got a case of 'love at first sight', bud."
Daniel was so glued to the female he didn't even notice when she started looking back at him. He snapped out of it in a few seconds, shaking his head.
The woman smiled sweetly and started walking towards them.
The raccoon hit Daniel with his shoulder, "Bud, look! She's coming this way!"
Daniel thought quickly then did what he thought would be a cool pose, putting his hands on his hips. The woman giggled, "Hey."
"Hey...you."
"Can you please take your glasses off for a sec?"
"Umm...sure."
He took them off as she requested.
"You have beautiful eyes." she stated then offered him her hand, "I'm Gaia."
Daniel smiled and took her hand, "Nice to meet you..." he couldn't get his eyes off her, "Gaia."
There was a silence as she waited for him to introduce himself.
Lesley hit him again. "OH UM, I'M DAN. Daniel. But you can call me Dan. But if you don't want to that's cool."
"Nice to meet you Dan." she shook his hand.
"Gaia!"
She turned her head as she heard her friend calling her, "I'll be right there!" she looked back at Daniel with a smile on her face, "I'll see you around." With a wink intended to him, she left.
When was gone, Daniel's smile faded.
Lesley danced around him, raising his kilt and singing, "Daniel is in love, Daniel is in love..."
"This is bad."
Lesley stopped and looked at the blue jay. "What?"
"She's one of the protesters who are against the toilet paper factory, and I work there."
"So?"
"So, she'll hate me when she finds out!"
Lesley raised his finger. "IF she finds out. As far as she and everyone else here knows, we be one of them."
"Hm...so what you're saying is, I should try to be someone I'm not so the girl I like will like me back?"
"Ay."
"That's. The..." he grinned, "Best idea ever! Dude, how did you ever come up with this?!"
"You know me. I'm just that smartest." boosted Lesley.
"Come on." said Daniel, "Let's find her again. I want to spend time with her." he started walking through the crowd, looking for the girl he likes. He didn't turn around to check if his friend was following him or not, as his mind was completely zeroed in on the other blue jay. Soon he found her smoking pot by some building,"Heeey."
She looked up at him with red eyes, "Hey." she coughed.
"So... how are you doing?"
"Good...very...good." she laughed as she took a smoke and held it in.
"Can I get some?"
She offered him a joint but then he pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers. They both closed their eyes, and Gaia let go of the smoke which went into Daniels mouth as he inhaled. Once they parted, they were both smiling.
"Awww." let out Lesley, who was not too far away.
"Wanna go to my tent?" Gaia asked Daniel, ignoring the raccoon.
"Y-yeah." replied the male blue jay and they walked away.
"Have fun..." said Lesley. Feeling neglected, he hung his head sadly, "I'll just a...stay here and...be forever alone."
Back at the tent, Daniel and Gaia were making love. It was not sex, it really was making love. They may had just met, and knew very little about one another. But they were love-struck.
Daniel forgot about his best friend and slept over, his arms around Gaia's neck. Her head was lying on his chest as he woke up in the morning. He smiled and got up stretching when he remembered about Leslie, "Oh crap!" he put his shirt back on.
"Where are you going?" asked Gaia.
"I have to go find my friend."
"Oh, I get it..." started Gaia on the verge of tears, "You got what you want and now you're leaving."
He turned to her, "No, it's not like that!"
"No...It's cool." she started getting dressed.
He sighed and decided he'll talk to her later; right now he had to find Lesley.
As soon as he opened the tent, his jaw dropped. All the protesters were there, glaring at him. He saw his best friend, by their side, also glaring at him.
"What the H dude?!"
"I told them about your little secret."
"What secret?!"
"Oh you know..." said Lesley rubbing his head, "I told them you work at the toilet paper factory."
"What?! Why? And you work there too, asshole!"
The protesters all glanced at Lesley, who gulped.
Gaia came out, fully clothed. "What's going on?"
Daniel turned to her, "I..Gaia, I.."
"You..?"
He sighed, "I work at the toilet paper factory. Me and my..." he glanced at Lesley ,"...best friend..." he looked back at her, "just joined the protest so we would get out of work."
Gaia thought for a bit then smiled at him, "That's okay. "
"Really?"
She held his hands, "Yeah. I like you a lot, and nothing can change that."
He smiled back.
"How touching." said the old man who was one of the hippies, "But do you really think you're any better?" he asked Gaia.
"Hm?"
"You smoke weed. What do you think the blunt is made of?"
"Umm..."
"It's made out of paper!" he explained, "And i bet you already know where paper comes from."
Gaia placed her hand on her forehead, "Oh God." She really had no idea.
"What are you gonna do with us?" asked Daniel.
One of the women smiled "We're gonna cut you and make fur paper out of you."
Daniel, Lesley and Gaia cried, "WHAT?!"
"But you'll all go to jail for that!" added Daniel.
"No we won't." claimed the man from before, "Because we are just..."
They all unzipped their face and bodies and came out in their true form. They were all...,"Trees."
Daniel raised his eyebrows, "The fuck?"
"We lost many friends and relatives because of you." told the old tree, "Just so you can wipe your dirty butts and smoke."
"It's time you have a little taste of your own medicine." sneered one of them and showed them the saw.
Daniel, Leslie and Gaia were really scared now. They clung to one another.
The male bird thought it was the best time to apologize. "Dude, I'm really sorry I blew you off."
"It's alright bud." assured the raccoon. "I'm sorry I told the trees you work at the toilet paper factory."
"That's fine. You didn't know they were trees..."
Lesley looked up at him, "Best friends till the end, ay?"
Daniel smiled, "Till the end."
They all closed their eyes, expecting to get slaughtered but then they heard a voice say, "I'll take that." and then they heard that the saw got turned on.
They opened their eyes and saw Johnson.
Lesley gasped, "Boss?!"
"You came for us!" said Daniel, grinning.
"I fucking..." spoke the toilet while waving the saw around and cutting the trees in half, "hate trees."
They just started coming at him.
"Are you gonna help or not?!" yelled Johnson.
Just as he said that, Lesley came back with two more saws and gave one to Daniel.
Daniel took a hold of it, narrowing his eyes. "Let's do this." He and his best friend then charged at the trees and started cutting at the middle of every single one of them. Expect for one. The elder tree ran out of sight.
"Is that all of them?" asked Daniel, breathing heavily once they were done.
"Yes. NOW GET BACK TO WORK!" demanded Johnson and got back in his factory.
Daniel and Lesley watched him leave then Daniel looked at his best friend,"Wanna go play some video games?"
Lesley smiled. "Of course, bud."
As they started walking away, Daniel side-glanced at Gaia, "I'll call you!"
Gaia smiled back, "You better." after that been said, She went on her way.
When they were all out of view, the old tree came back to the site and saw his friends all dead and cut in half. He kneeled down on his wooden legs, "No...NOOOO!" he screamed, raising his arms, "You will pay!"
End of Story 1.
To be continued...