"I'm sorry Ted, it just sorta happened." Barney opens the door to Ted before he barges in.
"An accident? What about this bro code stuff you always talk about?"
"I…I just…"
"No! Stop it!"
"Please man… I'll do anything to help you forgive me."
"Well… you slept with her so… sleep with me."
"No! I'm not gay dude! And neither are you."
"No, but I haven't had sex in months and need a hole to shove my penis into."
"Well…"
"Well? You either do it or we are no longer friends."
"Fine! I'll do it!"
"Good. Pull your pants down." Ted and Barney both begin taking their pants off.
"But after this, we never speak of it again and you must forgive and forget about me and Robin."
Ted just nods as the two finish undressing. Ted turns around immediately to not see Ted's crotch area.
"Would you at least change into a nice suit if you're going to do this?" Barney asks, tightening his tie.
"Shut up and bend over." Barney bends over.
"Fine, but maybe fix your hair a little." Ted ignores Barney and shoves his penis directly into him.
"Why is this so easy? I thought you aren't gay." Ted comments on how easy his penis slides in and the little to no reaction Barney has.
"Well don't you put a dildo up there to loosen it up?"
"No!" Ted begins thrusting and Barney just stays there bent over thinking about himself.
Ted hasn't had sex in so long that he can feel himself pre-cum already. He leans forward and digs his hands into Barney's hair.
"Hey man! The hair!" Barney shouts as Ted begins to mangle his hair.
"Shut up!" Barney just looks at himself in the reflection of his table, winking and straightening his tie. "Oh god!" Ted shouts as he begins to cum.
Seconds later Ted takes his penis out of Barney and begins putting his pants back on.
"That it?" Barney turns around, his penis hard and pointing at Ted. "That's sex with Ted? That lasted a minute… and didn't have any kind of foreplay."
"Well…"
"Now I know why your relationships don't last forever." Ted tries to speak but Barney turns around and begins fixing his reflection. "Now I'm interested in how Marshall does it." Barney grabs his penis and begins yanking it as he looks at himself. "You can go now."