The sudden descent of Scott Ellison from the Balcony shocked all.
None more so than Connie Beauchamp, who unfortunately found herself jumping into Sam Strachan's arms in fright – though she told herself it was just because he was 'there'. Dylan had been on the other side of her when it happened, but she obviously wasn't going to jump into his arms – he'd probably drop her in surprise!
It had to be Sam Strachan that was standing there, though, didn't it! He would never let her hear the end of it now.
Truth be told, Sam had found himself 'automatically' jumping at Connie as well – not that he was ever going to admit that. Far better to let Connie be embarrassed for 'proving' that she wanted him – something he knew she would deny until she was blue in the face, later on.
The 'shock' of Scott's fall was delayed for Connie. Having caught Sam's eye and glared at him as if their unexpected embrace was all his fault and receiving a satisfied smirk from him in response, she hastily untangled herself from him, at which point, the shock set in.
Despite Connie's continued determination to pretend that she didn't love Sam Strachan, his embrace was warm and comforting – safe. Once untangled from him, she was faced with cold, hard reality and a sudden affinity to the events of the previous summer. The memory hit her thick and fast – her mind spiralling out of her control.
"Mum!" Grace screamed as they left the top of the cliff. They were falling – falling into nothing. Falling and screaming. She grasped Grace's hand – the only comfort she could offer her daughter – and the only comfort Grace could offer her mum. Hitting the ground was inevitably going to hurt. It was unlikely they would survive this – one or both of them could die. Grace could die.
"Grace...Grace...Grace..."
There was nothing she could do to stop her daughter from getting hurt – nothing she could do to protect her. The terror on Grace's face killed Connie over and over again. Grace would never see her father again and he would never see her grow up.
"Sam...Sam...Sam..."
Connie was never going to see him again either – and worse, she was taking his daughter away from him – for good. They were falling and she couldn't stop it. She couldn't do anything to save Grace. They were falling and screaming. Falling, falling, falling...
"No...no...no...no..."
As everyone else ran to the fallen man's aid, Connie remained frozen, where she was. Her back had slumped against the wall, when she let go of Sam and she stared vacantly in front of her, her chest heaving as it struggled for air, while the terrifying memories took over her mind. While everyone else was frantically attending to Scott Ellison, Connie remained there, unable to move or register what was going on in the present.
"Sam!" Charlie exclaimed, suddenly noticing her.
"What?"
"Look after Connie." The older man gestured towards the frozen doctor. Sam scrambled to his feet and rushed over.
"Grace...Grace...Grace...Falling...falling..."
"Connie?" Sam was looking straight at her – but she didn't appear to know he was there. There was a vacant, frozen expression on her face. Her hands felt cold and clammy to touch. Her breathing was uneven, her eyes seemed empty and at times her voice came out like a broken record.
"Sam...Sam...Sam..."
"I'm here, Con...I'm here..." Sam whispered, trying to pull her out of the nightmare that seemed to have taken over her. But where ever Connie Beauchamp was – it wasn't in the present.
"...falling...no...no...no...no..."
"What's wrong with her?...I can't...I don't know what to do..." Sam stammered as Duffy appeared next to him. "She doesn't even know I'm here!"
"Panic attack." Duffy answered, matter of fact. "I'll go and swap with Charlie – he knows best what to do with her." She disappeared into resus.
"The crash!" Sam muttered to himself, suddenly realising where Connie was. "Con...Con...I understand now. It's ok. Grace is fine – and you're fine. The crash was months ago and you both survived. It's ok...you're scaring me...please come back...Con?"
Charlie appeared next to him. "That's it Sam. Talk to her gently – tell her it's ok."
"You're ok, Con. Come on, sweetheart, it's ok."
Connie's breathing eased slightly and her eyes gradually became more focused. She exhaled sharply, squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again a few times, before gingerly moving her hand up to her head. "Urgh...w-what?...Sam?"
"Hey! It's ok. You're ok now, Con."
"Ok, Sam. Let's take her outside for some air...ok...easy. You know the drill, Connie. Breathe." Charlie instructed, taking over.
Once outside, Connie sat on a bench, with Sam and Charlie either side of her, while she tried to get her breathing back under control. When she was breathing more easily, Charlie motioned to Sam to step away out of earshot.
"That was a panic attack?!" Sam exclaimed.
"Oh, come on Sam! You know what a panic attack looks like – you're a doctor for Pete's sake! And Grace has had them before anyway."
"Yeah I know Grace has had them!" Sam responded, "But this..." He gestured towards Connie,.and waved his hands around dramatically "...is the 'mighty Connie Beauchamp' we're talking about!"
Charlie shook his head, disgusted. "Don't be so bloody childish Sam! We need to keep an eye on her – that's the worst one she's had and they should be getting better – not worse!"
"You mean she's had them before?" Sam stammered, realising that Charlie was right to be concerned. How had he not noticed?
"She's had a few, Sam, but she usually runs out of the ED or shuts herself in her office "
"But...why..." Sam began.
"Connie was in the crash too, Sam, not just Grace." Charlie reminded him. "She thought she'd watched Grace die in front of her at the crash site – and then again when the helicopter crashed. If you've found it difficult watching Grace's recovery – how do you think you would have coped if you'd have been there when it happened?" Sam stared at his feet as Charlie continued. "Connie should have had conunselling for it – but she's so bloody stubborn! She refused to move from Grace's side for most of the time she was in the coma and then after, it was all about Grace's recovery. Nothing else mattered – you know the only reason she refused to take Grace home at first was because she thought it meant all the doctors were giving up on Grace."
"I know, I just..." Sam started, but Charlie interrupted.
"Do you, Sam? - I mean, really? You're always going on at her for being a 'bad mother'. Connie thinks she's a bad mother now as well – and Grace might think her mum doesn't care, but this has never been about Connie. Even when Grace told Connie it was all her fault and refused to speak to her, everything was still all about 'Grace's recovery' and 'what was best for Grace'. " Charlie paused briefly. "Connie has never spared a thought for her own recovery – and now it's taking it's toll on her, so you need to look after her – even if she doesn't want looking after."
"Me?!" Sam stuttered. Charlie's stern telling-off had taken him by surprise.
"Yes, you, Sam! So, when Connie pushes you away – and she will push you away, because you know what Connie's like." Charlie sighed. "Let her push you away – but make sure you keep coming back. Don't just walk away from her, like you normally do!" He walked off, leaving Sam stood there like a lemon, gobsmacked. Charlie checked Connie was ok now, before telling her he'd be inside if she needed him. Then he went back inside – without even glancing back at Sam.
Sam stood there for a minute, debating what he should do. Eventually, he bit the bullet and sat back down next to Connie. He hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. She had definitely wanted him there earlier – he could see that he'd made her feel safer during the panic attack – which was probably why she had jumped into his arms in the first place when Scott Ellison fell. But her panic attack was over now and he was certain that she wouldn't admit to wanting him there now – even if she did want him.
"Are you ok, now?" Sam eventually asked through the imaginary wall Connie had clearly put up between them. Connie was great at atmospheres – she could create them within seconds – without uttering a single word.
"Fine!" She snapped, reverting back to her usual cutting tone – the one she reserved solely for Sam Strachan. "Don't smother me, Sam. I'm not a child!"
He sighed. "Grace's physio..."
"No!" Connie interrupted him rudely. "I can manage perfectly well."
"Bloody hell, woman! Just shut up and let me speak!" Sam snapped back – rapidly losing patience with her, despite his resolution a mere two minutes earlier to be more tolerant of her stubborn nature. Surprisingly though, Connie obediently went quiet – perhaps taken aback by his sudden angry response – nevertheless she waited, so he continued. "You can argue with me about it as many times as you like, Con – but the result will be the same. I'm coming with you and Grace to physio."
"You think I can't cope." She retorted. "You think I'm going to freeze up again."
"No, Connie, that's not it..."
"You do!" She snapped.
He sighed irritably. "Connie, just stop, ok! Can you not just – for once, accept that I might actually care?"
Connie looked away from him, stonily. Sam Strachan 'caring' about her? As if! "Why? You don't normally!"
He sighed again. "Ok, ok. You're right, I'm sorry...but I do care and I am trying! I'm trying now. I'm trying to be a better..." She looked back at him as he tried to find the right word to describe their 'relationship'. What were they – other than colleagues and Grace's parents'? Friends? Enemies sounded harsh. Lovers? There was definitely something between them no matter how many times Connie tried to deny it. "Well...whatever we are!"
"Oh, great, Sam! - that makes me feel really special!" she retorted. Did she really want him to make her feel 'special' though? - the million dollar question!
"Well, what do you want me to say, Connie?! 'Ex' sounds a bit cold!" Sam exclaimed. "We're more than just 'colleagues', but you're not going to accept 'friends' are you? - and you won't even acknowledge that anything happened in the store room – despite the fact that you obviously enjoyed it at the time – so 'lovers' doesn't cover it either!"
"I don't know, Sam!" Connie muttered, aware that anyone could come out at any time and overhear their conversation. "Do we have to talk about this now?!" She didn't really want to talk about it at all.
"Oh, what? We're going to 'discuss it over coffee' later, are we?" Sam retorted sarcastically.
"Fine, Sam. But at this rate you're going to end up wearing the coffee!" Connie snapped at him, before strutting back into the ED – her confident, bossy persona reinstated.
Had Connie Beauchamp just agreed to have coffee with him? Sam smirked. He knew he'd get her in the end.