Disclaimer: I do not own the Cobra Starship song, or the passages from Stephenie's book. I just mixed them.

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"You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away"

I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface.

I was buried alive
I came back to hunt you.
Are you dying to believe
I can't go on without you?
All we are is too fast for love.

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

We're too young
I hate to love you.
The night sky
hangs above you.
But you can't be missed
if you never go away.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

It's the end of a broken heart.
I went on without you.
I was lost from the start.
I did what I had to.
All we are is too fast for love.

"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.
I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed.
"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.
There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.
He was gone.

We're to young.
I hate to love you.
The night sky
hangs above you.
But you can't be missed
if you never go away.

As if he'd never existed? That was insanity. It was a promise that he could never keep, a promise that was broken as soon as he'd made it.

You don't know what I've seen
You can see that I've been damaged
without you.
And I don't know where you've been.
I can wash your sins away.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.

We're too young.
I hate to love you.
The night sky
hangs above you.
But you can't be missed
if you never go away.

...my mind was like a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them.

It's the end of a broken heart.

I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for the numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.

It's the end of a broken heart.

And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain - the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head - but it was manageable.

It's the end of a broken heart.

I could live though it.

It's the end of a broken heart.

It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.