A/N: Let it be herewith understood that I do not own any Batman/DC Comics characters, concepts or other intellectual property. Just having a bit of fun here.
This one begins like a typical adventure, but suddenly shifts into a psychological thriller in Chapter 2. (Nothing too warped, though; the M rating is mainly to be safe.) Hope you like!
The Bat on the Bedroom Wall
Chapter 1: Street Fights
A small, slender figure in black and yellow swung out of the night on a thin but sturdy cord; her name was Barbara Gordon, but she currently wore the colors of Batgirl. Come on, Babs, move your ass! she told herself, landing gracefully on a warehouse rooftop. Without breaking stride, she raced across it toward the two dark-costumed men standing at the edge, her red hair streaming behind her.
"You're a minute-five late," said the Batman, in that particularly curt tone Barbara never liked hearing.
"I know," she admitted, sheepishly. "Sorry... Dad dropped by for coffee, and I had a hard time getting him to go home." One drawback of leading a double life when you were the police commissioner's daughter was that Jim Gordon was far too sharp to fall for just any flimsy excuse.
"Hey, we've all been there," grinned Nightwing as he kept an eye on the alley two stories below. "Way back when my Aunt Harriet used to come visit, it really played hell with our crimefighting schedule." He cast a sidelong glance at Batman. "You remember."
The faintest ghost of a smile flickered across the dark knight's face, and Barbara knew she was off the hook. Thanks, Dick... she thought, giving him a fond wink. But Nightwing had spotted their quarry: "Okay, our intel was right; there they are," he announced. "And they don't look happy." The heroes listened as two raised voices drifted up, one deep and sultry, the other comically high-pitched.
"This is the limit!" spat Poison Ivy, her coldly beautiful face flushed a more vivid green than usual. "After all I've tried to teach you about self-respect, how can you still involve yourself with that creature?"
"Ah, come on, Red," whined Harley Quinn, in her broad Brooklyn accent. "I was just tweetin' Mistah J. so he wouldn't get all lonesome at Arkham. Everybody else out there is scared of him."
Ivy ground her teeth in weary exasperation. "Harley, he put you in the hospital! Are you going to wait until he kills you?" For a moment, pain cracked her icy demeanor. "Do you care about me, about us, at all?" she asked. "Please, Harl. Joker's a maniac; stay the hell away from him!"
But Harley only stared at the ground and whispered, "He's just misunderstood..."
Ivy's emerald eyes flared: "You little idiot!" she exploded. "I'm done with you! We are absolutely over this time, do you hear me?"
"Aww, Red; y'don't mean that..." simpered Harley, biting her lip. Didn't Ivy know by now there was no point expecting anything like sensible behavior from her?
Up above, the masked manhunters followed the drama with a curious (and slightly uncomfortable) fascination. "Can you believe this?" muttered Batgirl. "It's like 'Real Housewives of Gotham'."
"I know. Who do you like for the movie version?" added Dick, with typical dry irreverence. "I'm thinking Madonna and Britney."
"We'll make use of their quarrel," cut in Batman, crisply. "Nightwing and I will take down Ivy," he directed. "Batgirl, you handle Quinn."
"No sweat, bossman!" chirped Barbara, her blue eyes sparkling. Since first becoming Batgirl to help her father out of a jam, she had quickly grown to love the adventure and excitement it brought.
Batman shot her a narrow look. "Don't get cocky," he admonished. "She's more dangerous than you think." Batgirl nodded respectfully, but thought her mentor was micro-managing again; she'd gone up against the zany crook before and easily held her own.
"Let's wrap this up," prompted Nightwing. "I'm getting hungry. Babs, you want to go grab a bite after?"
"You're on, birdboy," Barbara agreed. One day, she knew, they would figure out exactly what sort of relationship they wanted; but for now it was enough to just enjoy each other's company. With an eager smile, she followed Batman over the roof's edge. Down they went, capes billowing out above them, with Dick descending on his glider-wings.
"Yoink! Incoming, Red!" squeaked Harley, as the dynamic trio dropped into their midst. Batgirl did a somersault and pounced on her, and they rolled back down the alleyway.
"Damn it, can this night get any worse?" Poison Ivy snarled, as Batman and Nightwing closed in. Drawing a capsule out of her leaf-patterned glove, she dashed it to the pavement and a glob of vegetable matter burst forth, growing at a fantastic rate. Before the heroes could react, they were caught in a cluster of massive, serpentine vines doing their level best to squeeze the life out of them.
Meanwhile, Batgirl and Harley engaged in a fierce acrobatic duel, their lithe bodies a colorful, balletic blur as they traded kicks and jabs. The two were well matched in agility, but Batgirl's sheer enthusiasm gave her an edge, and Harley felt herself tiring. "Red, gimmie a hand!" she shouted.
"Sorry, Harl," answered Ivy in a flat, dismissive tone, her attention centered on the death struggles of Batman and Nightwing. "I'm through bailing you out. You're on your own."
Harley's face twisted with hurt and anger: "Oh, so it's like that, izzit?" With a sudden fury, she lashed out, high-kicking Batgirl backward into a stack of crates. Before Barbara could regain her footing, Harley whipped out a huge mallet and struck her viciously over the head.
As Batgirl collapsed, Harley's abrupt rage subsided, and she looked the young crimefighter up and down in a strange, appraising manner. Then, with a sly grin, she dragged her still form into the shadows.
In the clutches of the constrictor vines, Batman focused all his considerable willpower on reaching his utility belt before he and Nightwing were crushed. Straining against the tightening tendrils, he pulled out a tiny injector and jammed its needle into the thick, green coil around his waist. A powerful defoliant swiftly coursed through the entire plant, shriveling it in seconds as the crusaders tore themselves free.
Before the startled Ivy could escape, Batman was upon her, stunning the villainess with a brisk nerve blow. Nightwing had immediately dashed down the alley instead of assisting, which caused the dark knight to raise an eyebrow; then he realized that neither Barbara or Quinn was in sight. Frowning, he cuffed Ivy's hands behind her.
Nightwing returned in a minute, looking worried enough to deepen Batman's scowl. "Where's Batgirl?" he asked the former boy wonder.
"In trouble!" said Dick. "I saw Harley drag her away while we were tangling with those vines." He shook his head, grimly. "No sign of them back there; she must've had a car handy."
Batman turned on the reviving Poison Ivy and fixed her with his sternest glare. "Where did Quinn take her?" he growled. The sinister botanist stuck out her chin haughtily and said nothing, a chill whisper of a smile on her lips...