I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS.
I started this out as a cute, hardcore BroJohn fanfic, and then… apparently I got sad. I don't know. But yeah, I kinda cried once I realized what I did. D: But I do love writing in Dirk's voice, so there may be more of that to come.
You open the door, step into your room, but your hand hovers over the lightswitch. Something feels odd, a warm, anxious tingle in the bottom of your stomach that makes you want to both leap onto the bed and run like hell.
You just flip the switch. The dark lights come on first, and then a second later the room lights. And what you see perfectly explains the feeling in your gut.
Sprawled across the bed is 90% of the boy of your dreams, boner barely concealed by a damp towel. His raven black hair still drips, but his cute glasses are in perfect place over his sapphire blue eyes.
It's his birthday, you vaguely recall, and his glistening wet, freshly-turned-18 years old body is lying there, just waiting for you to take it. To take the intangible thing he promised you, if only you would wait for him.
And you did.
The moment he throws his head back, letting out a moaned "Oniichan~...", you take a step forward. That's when the whole scene dissipates.
You groan as you snap awake, eyes opening to your still-dark room. You remember every single detail. You also remember it's april. You've been having these dreams nonstop since the first, each a different yet still perfect rendition of his birthday.
"Damn it, John…"
You sigh as you sit up. You and he have been seeing each other behind Dave's back. You feel a little bad for stealing the lil man's boyfriend, but you love John. You don't know why, but something about him clicks with you. Just the sight of him makes you almost… nostalgic. For something you can't quite remember.
But you know you love him, even if you don't know why.
You pick up your phone, and already you've got a text from the problem child himself.
EB: so, how'd you sleep?
You smirk. He knows he woke you up.
TT: Soundly. Until now.
You can't imagine why he's up at this hour. School, maybe? No, it's… You look at the clock. 4:13. On a Saturday.
He replies almost immediately.
EB: any dreams of particular... interest?
You've been telling him about your fantasies, detail by detail. You groan a bit as you relive every second, describing it to him. It takes him a minute to answer.
EB: damn. sounds more like an anime than real life… be you wish i was there right now. ;)
TT: So much. Why are you up at this ungodly hour, anyways?
EB: hahaha! to talk to you, of course!
You can hear his adorable laugh, clear as a bell. It sets you off, starts your day, and fills you with energy.
TT: Of course. You're the only one who would wake me up at 4 in the morning so we can talk. I love you.
EB: love you too, dirk. :D can't wait for my birthdaaaaaaaay!
TT: Oh, my god. Are you going to have a party?
EB: no, parties usually entail cake.
EB: i was actually thinking of going somewhere with just the two of us.
You have not been happier at this time of morning. The two of you toss around ideas, and eventually you settle on going out to your cabin in the woods, a couple miles away. No doubt he'll bring movies, snacks, and his stuffed lizard, Casey. He's childish, and you're fine with that. It makes him more adorable.
EB: god, i can't wait to see you. can i come over?
TT: I so wish you could, but the lil man's here.
EB: it's 4 in the morning, he won't be up. besides, we'll be quiet.
TT: Tempting, but you know he's fragile. I don't want his heart broken by an angel with a shotgun.
EB: yeah, i don't like thinking about what it would do to him if he found out about us. i wonder if we should just tell him.
TT: I mean, we can, if you want. But I wouldn't advise it.
EB: maybe after my birthday.
TT: Oh, that's going to hurt.
TT: Speaking of which, this is going to be a long week.
EB: i bet. :/ i can't wait, either.
TT: You're nervous, aren't you?
He takes a minute.
EB: you're getting to know me well.
TT: I'd be a horrible secret boyfriend if I didn't. Plus, you've done the same. Even Dave doesn't call me by name.
EB: that's cause you've always been 'bro' to him, i guess. he doesn't have any reason to call you otherwise.
TT: Yeah, but I don't think he even remembers my name.
EB: don't worry, i'm sure he does. i'll talk to him about it today.
TT: You two going to have movie day again?
EB: no doubt. wanna join us?
TT: Of course I do, but I'm not sure Dave would appreciate it.
EB: it's fine. not like we'll be kissing in front of him or anything.
TT: Alright. I think Dave's getting up, you should busy yourself texting him. I've got to take a shower.
EB: mind sending me a before and after?
TT: Would you like a during, too?
You spend the next ten minutes in a selfie war, playing strip chicken and making sexy poses. You eventually concede to him when, after a pause of about five minutes, he sends you a selfie lying on his bed, cum fresh on his chest.
Several minutes later you finally make it into the goddamn shower, John busy chatting with Dave.
Respectable Strider hygiene aside, you really need this shower. They help you calm down when you can get a little… high-strung. Nervous.
After almost two hours you come to a calm peace with your existence, even if it was rushed and a little forced. But you get out nonetheless, and take care of your hair and teeth. The moment you slip your shades on, a pair you haven't worn in several years with red rims, something flashes through your mind. A brief memory of… red text? Something snarky yet friendly and much like yourself.
And then it's gone.
What the hell is going on here? You're left to wonder.
Your phone buzzes on the counter, and when you check the text even you're surprised at how far he's gone this time.
He's sitting up on his bed, wearing a rainbow dash headband and half-shirt, the skirt being just a bit too short to wear to school and letting his boner poke out from under the thin fabric of his blue panties. Looking further you notice cute, knee-high rainbow socks and a tail, as well. He stares right into the camera with this look, like too bad you're not here.
The accompanying text emphasizes that point.
EB: bet you wish you were there, huh? well, too bad. i'm already on my way over, but i want you uncomfortable this whole time.
EB: i still have the costume, though.
You set it as your wallpaper and slip your phone into your pocket. You walk downstairs in a slight daze, perfectly aware of only the tent in your pants.
You almost run into Dave, standing at the bottom of the stairs, but he doesn't comment as his own pants look tight. He wordlessly flips the screen of his phone to you, which features a cute-looking, shirtless John.
You raise an eyebrow with a smirk. As if he knows the epitome of an Egbert-induced boner. He'd probably jizz his fricking pants if he saw dashie John, regardless of the pony affiliation. "Hot."
"I know…"
"He's on his way right now."
"What?" He doesn't ask how you know, instead just looking very alarmed. "But I'm still - I haven't had time - I need to -"
He's your little bro, so naturally you help him out wherever you can. The two of you do this often, so he's not as alarmed/surprised as he theoretically should be when you pull him into a kiss. Almost on instinct, your hands are in each others' pants, and though he doesn't know it you're both fantasizing about the same guy touching you.
You're so close when you notice John standing in the doorway, filming it with his phone. He's got this look, like he knows exactly what you're thinking, and you don't have time to contemplate it before you moan, loudly, melting in Dave's hands. He follows shortly after, collapsing momentarily in your lap on the couch and still not noticing John.
"Hot." Interjects the problem child.
Dave yelps, jumping up, but John already has his phone in his pocket like a smart boy. He shuts the door, walking over to the two of you and pulling Dave into his lap while sitting in yours. "Maybe I should show up unannounced more often." He quips, smirking as Dave blushes.
He shifts a bit, and you're sure he can feel your boner popping up against his ass.
John kisses Dave and he blushes more, obviously thinking about all this happening in your lap. You just grab the remote control, putting on TNT right in the middle of a rerun of Teen Wolf.
The pair flirt in your lap and occasionally kiss, but every so often John reaches back to give you a squeeze, making you really uncomfortable and annoyed and pretty impatient even though you still have a week to go. At one point you grab his hand, holding it for a moment before he strokes you through your jeans and you have to hold back a moan instead.
Dave gives John a look, like what's going on, I'm not being filled in here, but he just runs his hand up Dave's leg and hovers dangerously close to his crotch. Dave returns to watching the screen, but his hand stays on John's the whole time.
After a while you know Dave must have fallen asleep, because John twists around to press his lips to yours. Dave shifts a little, probably because John's boner is growing more pronounced in his black jeans.
The both of you are trying to be quiet, but Dave's a light sleeper until he's really out. Which apparently he is not.
Approximately 0.3 seconds after he sits up, you can tell he knows what's going on. He suddenly gets up, shoves John off you, and smacks you hard across the face. He grabs your collar and draws his arm back, looking pretty much furious. He and you both know he can't actually hurt you, but it's not that hard to tell he doesn't care.
John, however, doesn't know this, and suddenly becomes protective of the both of you. He grabs Dave's arm, using the other to bar his chest and keep him in place. Dave doesn't skip a beat, abandoning his physical approach and instead hurling curses and insults in your general direction. "Get your own fucking boyfriend to mack on, you whore!" He concludes, finally running out of breath.
"Dave, can we just calm down about this?" John pleads, throwing you a look. Should we tell him?
You shrug. Might as well.
He sighs. This is not going to be fun. "Dave, don't be mad at your brother. I'm the one who's been a dick to you. I know this is wrong, but… Well, he and I have been seeing each other behind your back. He's the one I'm spending Friday with."
Dave's eyes widen behind his shades. His arms relax, kind of flopping to his sides. "N-No… No, you can't do that to me… John, I-" His voice cracks, and he tries to fix it, unsuccessfully. "I love you…"
"I know, and I'm sorry. I just- I want us to stay friends. Best friends. And I didn't want to tell you, because… well, it's kind of a despicable thing to do. I figured you'd hate me." He finishes quietly, looking off to the side. "The truth is, I love Dirk. He needs someone good for him, needs me more than you do.
Dave suddenly looks puzzled. "Dirk…?"
Yeah, that hurt.
You must look it, because John runs his hand down your face comfortingly.
It clicks, and Dave realizes his mistake. Despite your boyfriend-stealing, he still looks horrified at your pained expression. "No, wait, Bro, I - fuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't… God, you really don't deserve a shitty little brother like me. How the hell do you put up with me - I'm a fucking asshat. I couldn't possibly deserve John if I don't remember your name."
You sigh but grab him, pulling him into a hug. "I put up with you because you're my lil bro, and I love you. And you do deserve John - he's perfect and adorable and your best friend. It's just - well, from my perspective, if John wants to be with you, he can. I don't care, I'll still love him. That's why I'm even bothering to wait for him." You explain, not understanding the odd feeling in the back of your mind.
He hugs you back, and it's at least 4.5 seconds until he freezes, the words obviously registering. His voice is ice cold. "Waiting? For him to… what?"
John cuts in. "To turn 18."
"Wait, so you're gonna fuck my brother?! You're gonna fuck my best friend?!" He looks as if he's convinced you're ganging up on him, starting to fill with some of that rage again. "WHAT?!"
John starts to get annoyed. "You know what, Dave? Yeah. I'm gonna fuck your brother. Deal with it. It's my life, my choice, and my body. I want us to stay best friends, but if you can't deal with that then I guess you can just stay mad at me. Harbor a grudge. Be a dick in general. But you can't tell me what to do, and right now, this doesn't concern you. I know that we've been going out, and I still love you - but in a familial way. You're like a brother to me. I don't want to see you hurt like this.
A fierce light shines in John's eyes, and something sparks in your mind. It reminds you of something, a word, just the ghostly echo of the edge of a memory.
Jake.
For a second you don't understand, but memories… memories that conflict with your current ones, wash in like the tide. You suddenly place a face, a personality, a laugh.
You realize that you thought you loved John. Your really did - but only because he harbors so much resemblance to Jake.
You don't remember Jake before this moment. You somehow remember when you first started talking to him, but that can't be right - you broke your leg and were in the hospital for over a week. Right around there. Who is Jake? No idea. Yet you know so much. But one thing is perfectly certain - he's not John.
John and Dave are still arguing, and you realize what trouble you've caused in the flow of things. You clap your hands over each of their mouths. "I've got the solution." You look over at John, and you don't want to do this. But you have to. "I- I never really loved you. I thought I did, but I misplaced my affections and caused trouble. John, you're funny, smart, and adorable, but you're not Jake." John looks confused, scared, and heartbroken. Tears fill his eyes. You look over at Dave, who glares at you with such fierce protectiveness of John that you know you couldn't have made a mistake. "Dave. John belongs with you. He's going to need a lot of help and comfort after this, and I want you to keep him safe and healthy. Love him. Cherish him. He'll get over me - he didn't know what he was thinking. Play the best friend role for now."
You take your hands away, and instantly Dave starts giving you shit. But John lets out a sob and he shuts up, instead holding him comfortingly, petting his hair.
You sigh. You've sacrificed for the better good, and isn't that what you're supposed to do? You stand up, but all of a sudden Dave leaps up and grabs you, hugging you tight as if he's the one who needs comfort. "I'm sorry. Please don't get all sad and shit." He says quietly, before letting you go and returning to John.
You give the two a once-over, and you realize that they really do belong together. For the fifth time. You leave. You have to. You grab your coat and walk out into the dark. You leave because it breaks your heart.
It breaks your heart to see John cry.
It breaks your heart to make him cry.
It breaks your heart to have let him think he was the one for you.
It breaks your heart to realize that he wasn't.
It breaks your heart to leave him, like this, not a week from his birthday.
Most of all, it breaks your heart to hurt him like this and then just leave.
But it would hurt you both more if your stayed.
It starts to rain. You just now realize you gave up the boy you've loved for months because of someone who may or may not have even been in your past.
It's stupid, but it feels wrong to love anyone else after Jake.
And you know John and Dave are meant for each other.
You vaguely remember Jake saying something to you. You like his voice, his accent.
"You've always walked alone, haven't you? Taken the road less traveled. You're more of a lone wolf, aren't you?"
You feel a warm tear trail down your cheek.
"Maybe that's just how it was meant to be, Jake."