A/N: I would like you to know that this is absolutely not the way I wanted this to happen. They kind of just started arguing. Oh well, I guess.

Disclaimer: Only Laura belongs to me, sadly. Oh well, I guess.

I was bored. I was bored, and we weren't on a case. I was bored, we weren't on a case, Sherlock was on the computer, and the wall was smiling at me like a pervert. Great

After having an intense staring contest with said wall (I lost, but only because John distracted me. Apparently, he's taking a pretty girl he met at the hospital to a nightclub. Won't last, she's a bit dim, cut her hand on a cheese grater for a dare), I sighed loudly from my upside-down position on the couch.

"Sherlock," I said, slightly pitifully.

"Hmm?" He didn't look up. I pouted.

"The wall is smiling at me."

"Yes," he mumbled, not even paying attention.

The blood was starting to rush to my head. Either I was going insane, or the smile just winked at me.

"Sherlock?" I asked, incredibly creeped out.

"Hmm?" He still didn't turn.

"It's still smiling at me. And I think it winked."

"Sit normally and it might stop." Really? HOW DOES HE KNOW I'M UPSIDE DOWN IF HE DIDN'T EVEN TURN AROUND?

I glared at the wall. It just grinned back.

"Sherlock."

"What, Laura?" I smirked, but quickly stopped when the wall kept leering at me.

"The wall is being a pervert. I think it wants to do the do."

He turned around in slight shock at what I'd just said. I smiled innocently back.

"JOHN! SHE'S ACTING SCARED OF THE WALL AGAIN!" Um, ow.

"John left, Sherlock. Half an hour ago," I told him, smirking. The smirk fell quickly though. "AND I'M NOT ACTING! THAT WALL IS A PEDOPHILE AND I AM IT'S PREY!"

"You are 25 years old-"

"TIMMY DOESN'T KNOW THAT!"

There was a rather awkward pause, while me, Timmy, and Sherlock stared at each other cautiously. Somehow, I ended up under the coffee table.

Sherlock decided to break the silence.

"...You named my wall 'Timmy'?" he asked, incredulously. I nodded.

Another pause.

He sighed. "You aren't dull, but you're slightly stupid."

I bristled. "Excuse me?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound threatening.

He quirked a brow. "Oh, don't say you are deaf as well." Oh, it's on.

"At least I know basic astronomy."

"Astronomy isn't important-"

"It's FIRST GRADE."

"You're first grade."

...Wait.

Does that...

Did he...

My eyes widened. "Are you saying I'm EASY?!"

Apparently, the man had some sense of what you are probably not supposed to say to a woman, because his eyes widened and he quickly tried to backtrack.

"No, that is absolutely not what I am saying. Though I could be perceived that way from an outside standpoint-"

"SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK I'M EASY!" This was kind of fun. Sherlock didn't really seem to think so. His eyes widened a bit more.

"No! That is not what I was saying either! I was merely insinuating your lack of intelligence-"

"Oh, because that's SO MUCH BETTER!"

"It IS!"

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"JOHN!"

"HE'S NOT BLOODY HERE, CURLY!"

"WELL, WHY NOT?"

"MAYBE BECAUSE, UNLIKE YOU, HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS SPENDING TIME WITH FEMALES!"

"WELL, MAYBE, THE ONLY FEMALE I DO NOT ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH IS YOU!" He glared at me. I glared back.

"You know what? FUCK YOU, HOLMES!"

I left the flat, all the while thinking that that was not the way that was supposed to go down.

Shit.