Never. He had promised himself this would never happen. But, he knew deep down, this was the only way to save her. To protect her. It angered him that this had to happen, but if it didn't, he risked losing her forever. At least, he had a chance to get her back, and or just see her. If he survived. That was the main problem in his plan. If he didn't survive he would never see her again anyway, and while he didn't want to hurt her like that, at least she would still be alive.

However, the chance of him surviving was low. He also knew that if he died, she might decide to end her own life. And thus the plan. To prevent her from doing so. And, just in case that wasn't enough he would leave her a single letter explaining everything; his motives, and his reasoning's. And to make sure that in the end, should things not work out in his favor, she knew just how much he truly loved her. He wasn't one for heartfelt gestures, or revealing his deeply guarded emotions, but it would be a tell all to assure her that he would never stop loving her.

The rain outside only increased the heavy feeling in his chest. A lump had built in his throat as he had written the letter hours earlier, and had not left since. He never cried, and yet now, he felt like he might break at any second.

'No. You have to stay strong. She can't doubt you. It's to save her. You have to be spot on,' he reminded himself for what seemed like the hundredth time. Ever since the other two had come to him for help on this job, he'd been trying to find a way for her to let him go, for she had made it very clear that she didn't want him to go and risk his own life.

However, the demon they were supposed to vanquish was getting closer to their town every day, and he wouldn't let it happen. He wouldn't watch her die. No, he would have to help slay it. And unfortunately it would require him to hurt her. A year they had been hearing about the demon. And now, time was against them. It was now or never.

He had promised he wouldn't go after it. That he would stay by her side. He knew this wasn't possible. Her life was in too much danger.

Even through the heavy onset of his thoughts he could hear her enter the room and though he looked towards the floor, he could see her in his mind. Her cheerful smile, and her bright eyes. The image caused pain to flare in his chest and he took a deep and painful breath.

"I'm home!" she called sweetly, and he looked up, placing a small, gentle smile on his lips. She gave him a bright smile as she came over and sat down next to him on the couch. Taking on of his large hands in her own, small hand, she leaned towards him and they shared a sweet but brief kiss.

"How'd it go?" he asked softly, in case his voice might betray his emotions. She grinned.

"It was great! I've never seen anything like it," she said clasping her hands together as the delightful memory was brought back to the surface. He smiled a little.

"Good," he said, letting his eyes close briefly. His thoughts from earlier fell away and the pain faded a bit, though it still reminded him of what he needed to do.

'In the morning.' He thought. 'I can't ruin her happiness right now.' Her smiling face had always been his one weakness aside from her tears.

The rest of the night seemed to pass him by in a blur and before he knew it, the sun was rising. He hadn't slept, and had lain awake all night, the thoughts of what he would be forced to do plaguing his mind. She was so innocent, and pure, and he knew breaking his promise to her would destroy that.

Never had he broken a promise to her. He couldn't. It went against every fiber of his being, and yet this is what he had to do. She would die if he didn't and hate him if he did. However, he could put up with hate. He could live with himself for it if it meant protecting her.

Slowly as the sun streamed through the window, he rose, and slowly headed out to the kitchen. It was small and very plain, but he wasn't one for frivolities. He dropped into a kitchen chair, relishing in the warmth it provided from sitting in the sun. He felt cold, knowing what he would have to say when she woke. It killed him inside, but he could live with the guilt. He had too.

As these thoughts assaulted him, he heard her walk slowly into the kitchen, and he could see from her messy, un-brushed hair that she was still only waking up. They sat quietly, allowing him to think for a while longer.

"Do you want to go to the park later?" she finally asked, after a yawn had escaped her. She looked at him with those beautiful eyes of hers as she waited for him to respond.

"S-"He started to speak and stopped himself. If he said yes, then he would never be able to do what he needed to do. He knew this, and it made his chest hurt.

"No," he finally said after a long painful silence. She looked surprised.

"W-Why?" she asked, trying and failing to hide the hurt in her voice.

He was quiet for a few minutes, trying to find the words he needed.

"Because I…" He paused. He had no idea how to say it. He could feel his small window of opportunity fading fast and he knew if he didn't say it quickly, he would give into her request.

"Because?" she questioned, a small frown adorning his face.

"Because… We're done Levy," he finally forced out, looking up and into her eyes. She paled as her eyes widened. He felt his heart pounding, and he felt dizzy. However, his expression didn't falter.

"W-What? N-No… G-Gajeel, no," she pleaded. "W-Why?"

He sighed and looked down briefly, before looking back up, his eyes locking with hers.

"I'm going with Gray and Salamander to take down that demon, and I don't wanna listen to you cry about it," he said, hating the words and the damage they were doing. He could see tears well up in her eyes, and he wanted to take it all back and tell her it was a joke, but he knew it was impossible. He had crossed a line of no return,

"G-Gajeel… No, you promised you wouldn't go! Please, don't… don't do this… I'll do anything you want, just please, don't do this," she whispered, as a few tears spilled.

"Forget it. I've already made up my mind, and you're not going to change it," he snapped, trying to keep his voice from cracking. His inner emotions were threatening to betray him, and his throat was so tight it was hard for him to speak.

For a moment Levy sat there, dumbfounded, before she swallowed hard and glared at him. "Fine then. Go on your stupid job. I don't care." She stood, and clenched her fists at her sides. "Because you know what?" Gajeel could feel his heart break as she screamed her next words at him. "I hate you!" As she ran from the room with a sob he let his head fall and he fought to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. He could hear the bedroom door slam shut and her sobs even through the wall, were loud and clear. He hated himself. He felt sick to his stomach for what he had done, and he knew he could never take it back. Now he highly doubted she would take him back if he survived this job, but she would be alive and healthy. That's all he needed.

After about fifteen minutes he heard the bedroom door open again and not even a minute later he heard the front door slam shut, and he knew she was gone.

XxX

The next few days at the guild were a bit awkward. Everyone could tell something was up between Levy and Gajeel, and a few people knew what had happened. And only two knew the true meaning and motivation behind it.

"Do you think we should have never asked him Gray?" Natsu's eyes were locked on Levy, who was sitting next to Lucy, and she looked downright miserable. Across the guild hall Gajeel didn't look much better.

"This was his choice Natsu. He felt this was the only way. I don't agree with it, but there's nothing we can do. We need his help, and I won't let Erza come, I don't care if she is S-Class. I mean, you aren't letting Lucy come." Gray slowly stirred the ice in his glass. "You can't control what other people do." Natsu nodded.

"Yeah, I guess," He murmured, casting his eyes to the floor. He felt his blue exceed partner land on his shoulder and he looked up, giving him a sad smile. "Hey Happy. Is Lily coming with us?" he asked, still feeling the tense atmosphere around them.

"Aye. He says that Gajeel can't stop him," the furry creature replied. "It's sad to see Levy so upset," he said sadly.

Natsu sighed and looked away, knowing Happy didn't know the whole story. "Yeah… It is…"

XxX

Weeks passed. The boys left to vanquish their demon, and Levy was left to drown in her sadness. She felt betrayed, and alone. Despite her anger towards Gajeel, she wanted nothing more than for him to take her back. She didn't understand why he had done this, and said what he had, but she almost didn't care.

Never had she felt so alone. She felt distant and isolated, even from Lucy. What she needed, and what she longed for was to feel Gajeel's arms around her again, and to hold onto him and never let go again.

However, she could feel this would never happen again and so she was forced to try and move on. Try to forget.

She sat alone and looked around the guild, and Lucy was nowhere to be found. Erza was absent as well. As far as she knew the guys weren't back yet, but they could have returned without her knowledge.

"Hey Mira," she called. The white haired woman made her way down the bar to where Levy sat and gave her a smile.

"What's up?" she asked. Levy looked around again.

"Where's Lucy and Erza?" she asked, focusing her gaze back on Mira. Mira smiled.

"The boys got back last night, so I imagine they're with them," she said. Levy nodded and looked away. The guild didn't seem to notice their absence, and Levy figured there was no point in thinking about it. It brought up memories she wanted to keep buried.

Suddenly the guild doors opened, and it wasn't the action that caught her attention, it was who walked in. Dark eyes scanned the guild and then the owner of the eyes made their way over to her.

"Natsu, what's up? How'd it go?" Mira asked. The rosette dragon slayer ignored her and look right at Levy.

"You need to come to the hospital," he said, his expression solemn and sober. It was a rare expression for him, and one that meant that Natsu was completely serious. Not like when he was angry, because yes, he was serious then, but when he was composed like this, it was a scary kind of serious.

"W-Why?" Levy asked, her voice starting to tremble slightly, a feeling of dread welling up inside of her.

"It's Gajeel," Natsu said, letting his eyes close briefly. Levy looked away, as pain flared in her chest.

"Why should I care?" she forced out. Yes, she wanted to go see him, but at the same time, she didn't think she should after what he had said.

"Levy, he asked me to get you. He's… He's dying," Natsu said as if he didn't want to admit it. Levy felt her heart stop and break once again. She wanted to throw up at those words. She started to tremble as she looked back to Natsu.

"W-What?" she was ghost pale and you could see the heart break and horror in her eyes.

"Please, he doesn't have much time," Natsu pleaded. "He wants to see you." Levy couldn't think. Her mind was at its breaking point. Slowly and numbly she slipped off the bar stool and followed Natsu out, and towards the hospital. Lucy stood outside a room when they arrived and she looked like she had been crying. Gray and Erza were nowhere to be seen.

"He's barely awake," she whispered, as Levy and Natsu approached. Natsu nodded and pulled Levy into the hospital room, Lucy following close behind. Levy gasped and felt sick again when she saw Gajeel.

His eyes were closed, and he was bandaged nearly head to toe. He looked fragile, something no one ever expected him look like. Tears immediately started to fall from Levy's eyes, a soft sob escaping her. Gajeel's eyes slowly opened, and though they were dull and nearly lifeless, they locked on Levy's shaking form. A tiny smile appeared on his face but it quickly faded, as she stumbled over to the bed and she tried to hold in the sobs.

"Gajeel, I… I'm so sorry," she whimpered. "I'm so sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about," his voice was barely above a whisper, and his hand weakly moved to take hers. His grip wasn't firm like she remembered and it made her want to cry harder.

"No, I'm sorry! I… I don't hate you, I promise," she cried. "I love you, and I'm sorry. Oh god, I love you so much, please, don't go!" she sobbed, hugging him awkwardly. Gajeel chuckled once softly, his eyes closing.

"I love you too Levy…" She let out a broken sob as his last breath left his body.

"NO!" she shrieked, sobbing so hard she couldn't stand. Lucy caught her before she fell and helped her into a chair, hugging her tightly as she sobbed. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

In the door way Natsu felt a tightness in his chest that made it hard to breathe. Gajeel was gone… And Gray? He didn't want to think about that.

"Levy." The broken hearted girl looked up as Pantherlily's deep voice penetrated her ears. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He flew over and landed in her lap. She hugged him to herself tightly and sobbed into his fur. Lucy's heart broke watching her best friend in this much pain.

"Natsu, I'm going to walk her home," the blonde celestial wizard said, helping Levy stand. Natsu nodded and let them pass from the room. "You should go sit with Erza. She needs you." Natsu sighed, guilt welling up in the pit of his stomach. He watched until the two girls disappeared around a corner before heading down the hall as a doctor entered Gajeel's room. He knocked softly on the wooden slab before opening the door and slipping in the second hospital room.

Gray lay comatose on his bed, his skin pale. His heart beat was slow, and Erza sat next to his bed crying. He pulled a second chair up to the bed and sat next to the red headed woman and put a hand on her back. She leaned into him, crying into his shoulder.

'How could I let this happen? Gajeel's dead, and Gray's on the edge…' His guilty thoughts plagued him. 'If only I had backed them up better…'

XxX

Hours passed before Erza had calmed down. She asked to be alone and Natsu was eager to get out of the room. Every second he spent in that room watching Gray's comatose form made the guilt hard to stomach. He felt nauseous, and he felt like his head was spinning. He knew if Gray died not only would he feel guiltier, but he would have to face Erza's wrath.

"Natsu…" he looked up from his seat there in the lobby to see Lucy standing there. She sat down next to him, and took his hand. "What happened out there?" she asked. Natsu swallowed hard.

"When we got there, the demon had already destroyed half the town. Before we could stop him Gajeel charged him and he took a blast of magic at point blank. We thought he was dead then, but he was just barely alive. That was when Gray and I started to attack the demon, but it ended up getting Gray when I wasn't paying attention. As soon as we took out the demon Gray dropped. Me, Lily, and Happy had to carry both of them back," Natsu said looking down. "I feel like this is my fault. I could have backed them up better… And maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"Or all three of you could have died out there. Natsu, please, you can't blame yourself for this. God knows Erza and Levy don't, and I don't either," Lucy said, putting her hand on Natsu's cheek and making him look at her. "Besides, Gray's strong. He'll make it." Natsu looked down. She made him look at her again. "I mean it Natsu. Do not blame yourself for this." She gently touched the bandage around his head. "Besides, from what you told me earlier, you passed out on the way back, and nearly didn't make it. So you have nothing to be guilty about." He sighed at her, and leaned his head against her shoulder.

"I just hope he's alright. I don't think I could handle losing both of them… Actually, I don't think any of us could handle it," he said. Lucy nodded and ran her hand through his hair.

"I know how you feel Natsu… I know…"

XxX

"Here." Levy looked up from her lap to where Lily hovered in the air in front of her. Her depression was wrapped around and she almost couldn't comprehend the paper Lily held in his paw. Slowly she reached out and took it and felt tears spill. Across the folded paper, her name was written in a messy scrawl.

Carefully she unfolded it, and felt like she could die as she read the short letter:

Levy,

You probably hate me after what I said the other day, and you need to know, I didn't mean a single word of it. I needed to go on that job to protect you. I would die if you had gotten hurt by that demon. You mean the world to me, and I swear I will always love you, even if you hate me. I need you to know that. I also knew you would never let me go on the job, and I hated to break my promise to you, especially since before that I'd never broken a single promise to you. I don't care if you ever forgive me, as long as you're safe. I love you, from now until forever.

Gajeel

She almost couldn't believe he'd written that, despite the fact that it was definitely his handwriting. But she understood now, and it made her feel terrible. She clutched the paper to her chest, and tried to hold back the tears once again.

"When we got back to the hospital last night, he asked me to give that to you if he didn't make it. He really did love you Levy. He just wanted to make sure you were safe." Lily said landing on her lap. With that she broke down again.

This was all too much for her, and she just wanted it to go away, even though the reality of the situation was pressing in on her and making it hard to breathe.

"Levy?" she turned and saw Lucy standing in the door way. She set the letter down on the table in front of the couch as Lucy came over and sat next to her.

"Hey Lu," she said, her voice cracking a bit. Lucy hugged her and she leaned into the embrace.

"How you doing, Hun?" Lucy asked, petting her friend's hair.

She shrugged. "Not that great… I don't even want to be alive right now," she whimpered. Lucy hugged her tighter, and frowned.

"Oh Levy," Lucy said. "You know we're here for you," she said. "And you don't have to go through this alone."

Levy was quiet for a moment. "I can't die anyway," she mumbled. "I promised Gajeel a while ago I would never try to kill myself… and… that's not the only reason I can't let myself die…" Lucy cast a confused glance at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked, pulling away a bit to look at Levy's face.

"I…" she looked up at Lucy. "I'm pregnant…" she said quietly. Lucy's face became sympathetic as Levy looked away. "We found out about month ago… He was so happy… And then with what he said the other day… I couldn't believe it… But… I think I understand now…" she said looking at the letter on the table. Lucy followed her gaze and then nodded.

"I'm sorry Levy," Lucy said, as Levy's head fell to her shoulder again. She started petting her head again. If she could have she would have kept crying, but she was out of tears and her eyes burned from all the tears.

"How's Gray?" she finally asked after a while, sitting up and wiping her eyes. Lucy looked down.

"He's in a coma," Lucy said. "They aren't sure if he'll make it. Erza isn't taking it well, and Natsu is… He feels like this is his fault. Gajeel dying, and Gray so hurt…" Lucy's sentence trailed off as she looked out the window.

"Gray's strong… I'm sure he'll be fine, given time," Levy said, an empty feeling settling in her chest. Lucy gave her a sad look.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

XxX

Two months passed. Levy was slowly recovering from the shock of losing Gajeel, and she and Lucy were trying to keep Natsu and Erza positive. The doctors said that Gray's chances were good because his brain functions were still high, and his injuries were almost completely healed.

Lucy found it ironic that Erza was more composed and positive about it than Natsu who was still trying to blame himself. They kept telling him it wasn't his fault, but they knew that until Gray woke Natsu wasn't going to let it go.

"How is he?" Lucy asked as she entered the hospital room on a sunny summer day. Erza looked up from Gray's motionless form over to the blonde who was sitting next to her now.

"Same as yesterday," Erza said. "How's Levy?" she asked.

"Better every day," she said. "She was finally able to go to Gajeel's grave yesterday." Erza smiled softly.

"I'm glad she's moving on. It would be a shame to lose someone else." Erza said. She looked at the clock and saw that it was going on noon. "Would you like to go get lunch in the cafeteria?" she asked. Lucy smiled a little and nodded.

"Sure!" The two girls stood and headed out. Erza stopped briefly in the doorway and cast one last glance at Gray before following Lucy to the hospital cafeteria.

XxX

Blackness. He'd been floating in it for so long, and listening to the world live around him. He wondered if it would be possible for him to leave the blackness again, but he'd noticed that lately the blackness was starting to fade. He had no concept of time, but it had only been happening lately.

At first the voices were just noise. As time passed he noticed that the voices got clearer and he was able to distinguish who was speaking, and eventually what they were saying. As the blackness faded more he was able to dream again, like he was just sleeping, though when the dreams ended he still couldn't wake up.

However, now he was puzzled by the silence around him. He hadn't been paying attention to what they were saying but had been aware of Lucy and Erza talking and then nothing. It bothered him. There had never been complete silence and it unnerved him. Something in his mind started willing him to wake up, and though he didn't know if it was working he willed his body to move, his eyes to open. He could hear a door open, and he struggled to move and wake up more. For as long as he'd been in the blackness, never had he had such a desperate will to escape it.

"Gray?" he felt a hand grip his own, which he had felt twitch and he felt a bit fulfilled by this accomplishment, but it wasn't enough. He could feel the darkness try to suck him back in and he fought, until he felt his eye lids twitch.

"Gray, you can do it," he could hear Erza's voice softly cheering him on, giving him more motivation until finally, bright light assaulted his vision and the blackness fell away.

He blinked against the light and groaned a little, until Erza's face appeared in his line of sight.

"You're awake," she said, tears welling up in her eyes and her voice cracking. He blinked a few more times, before he tried to speak.

"Er…za…" he whispered. She smiled as her tears spilled. He slowly tried to sit up, and managed to succeed with Erza's help. As soon as he was up she hugged him tightly. He was comforted by the familiar embrace and his arms came up around her.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Erza said as she pulled away. He smiled a little.

"Yeah, I am too. That sucked," he said slowly. She chuckled a little, and then her smile fell. "What?" he asked.

"I thought you should know," Erza said looking down. "Gajeel didn't make it."

Gray had heard them talk about it and just nodded. "I know… He was a good guy… It's a shame," he said quietly. Erza nodded. Then before Gray had a chance to realize what she was doing Erza pressed her lips to his. As soon as his mind caught up with her, he kissed her back and his eyes slipped closed.

When they broke to breathe Erza smiled a little. "I love you Gray…"

"I love you too Erza," he said kissing her forehead. She smiled.

"Promise me something," she said.

"Anything," he said.

"Never scare me like that again." By the tone of her voice, he knew she was dead serious. However, he still had to laugh.

"Promise…"