What if Roy Mustang would have never seen the truth?
What if the promised day wasn´t a big deal after she shot Braley down and he couldn´t take Roy as a sacrifice?
What if it was her that stopped Bradley and saved the Colonel - in return to her eyesight...?
It was dark. Everything was dark and quiet. She, ever known as First Lieutenant Hakweye, was now alone in the infirmary and blind as well.
While in the middle of the day the walls were white they now were dyed in the deepest color of night and blazoned with shadows. She couldn´t knew that it was after nine, but she could feel the cold air that came trough the window next to her, because of the chills it sent down her spine. After everything what happened she was more than tired but could not get to sleep. While the rest of the day had been a blurr of sounds and smells, everything was just quiet now.
And she hated it.
It was just ironic. The best sharpshooter of the military was blind and couldn´t see a thing. She probably would have laughed if it wasn´t that serious. But there was no escaping from the truth. She would be never able to see again, but the darkness in front of her. And while she knew the Colonel felt more than quilty for that, she was relieved.
Because he was okay and could fulfill his dream. They saved the whole country and ended the era of the homunculi, for chrissake...! Yet, she did not smile, but she was well. After a life full of fighting she had to learn about the world in another perspective - and she would learn. She knew that she would need help at first, help to dress or to shower, but she had Rebecca and she wouldn´t refuse helping her.
Yes, she couldn´t smile, but she was content. Content of beginning a new life. A life without the military.
And so, automatically, without him.
She startled when she heard a knock at the door. Riza wondered who that could be, but while she was in a hospital she could not believe that it could be somebody that shouldn´t be here. She sat up and turned her head to the door. "In", she said loudly, while her neck ached slightly.
The gold-toothed doctor´s sidekick did a good job in cutting her neck. The wound will never re-open, after the xingese princess healed her, but a scar will survive. Yes, the body of a soldier does not have to be pretty – never that she thought of this of herself. And now that she wouldn´t see it again she did not have to worry about that.
Immediatly she regretted her thoughts and shook them off.
"Lieutenant?", asked a deep voice at the other side of the room and Riza recognized the voice of her superior officer. Well, former superior – She wasn´t in the military anymore after everything that happened. Soonly she will be discarged formally.
"Sir – I am no longer First Lieutenant, so there is no need to call me that", she answered colly, before she heard how the door was closed. Footsteps made it over the floor and stopped next to her bed and her.
"Well, then you could stop as well", he said softly, yet serious. smugly and she could hear a smile. And still she couldn´t know what time it was or what day. After passing out from time to time this was impossible. And she wasn´t about to ask him. Riza heard a scratching of a stool, that soonly stopped next to her bed and she wondered whether he sat down or not. When he did then she would wonder what he wanted from her in the first place. While he got hurt in the final fight as well he didn´t need to stay in the hospital and came possibly from his apartement. Then again, what did he want?
There was a long pause between them and she didn´t know where to look. If she was honest this whole situation of beeing blind was more difficult than she would have thought. As a sharpshooter she always had to keep an eye at the envirement and the people – but now this task was gone. Moreover, she couldn´t focus on anything, because anything was black. And even when it was just her first day it just unnerved her to eternity. She wished he would speak, so she would knew where to look.
He seemed to hear her wish.
"I´m not going to thank you", he said, more determined as ever before. She could just remember the silence between them after the Promised day. He was gone so suddenly that she thought she did something wrong. But she didn´t, they both knew that. She knew that it is her job as his bodyquard to keep any harm away from him, what shouldn´t mean that it makes so much easier to stay now in complete darkness. But he shouldn´t feel like this, he shouldn´t even speak like this when it was her decision to make in the first place.
It is her duty after all.
She frowned.
"You never thanked me, so I would only wonder if you do that now." Her eyes were closed, while this cold words left her mouth. She does not know from where this anger came, but maybe it was because of him and his quilt. He will always blame himself for what happened.
Even when it was her fault.
"If you just came to tell me that what I did was wrong then I will have to tell you otherwise. It was my decision to make and your life was in danger." She opened her eyes, even when she didn´t see a thing. She would never see how her auburn eyes are not auburn anymore. They are brighter, but they seemed to be trapped in mist. She could not see that he turned his head away from her. Her neck ached continually and with every word. "If you keep blaming yourself for what I did, then it is better that I stay away from you. I don´t want to be with somebody who blames himself for my decicions, whether they are right or wrong. You should know that I see no difference as long as you are safe, Sir."
She took a long breath, while he turned his head back to her. Startled. He was more than startled. Until the promised day they never had spoken about that kind of topic openly. Everything have been in glances or short words. Nevertheless, she never talked that openly to him. And he didn´t felt quilty anymore.
He was was sad that he just recognized what she would do for him; what she did for him, nonless. Because she would do anything, and while it didn´t take her life it was damn close to that.
"You are no longer my Lieutenant. You no longer have to watch my back, Hawkeye", he said faintly and looked to his hands. This was why he came to her room in the first place. The military would have no use of her, she will be gone.
He looked up. There was something else, she felt it. Her eyes burned, an unfamiliar feeling, but she recognized it right away. She was about to cry, but wouldn´t.
Not because of him, again.
"Sir, I-"
"You don´t have to follow me anymore. You are free to do anything you want", he interrupted her, while his voice was not more than a whisper. He stood up and she thought that was all -that he would leave her, because she was no use for him any longer, because she couldn´t see and he would not need a woman like her- when she suddenly felt something warm against her hand.
It was another hand -his hand, she soonly realized- that hold hers, while his thump began to stroke her palm. She looked up and wished -oh, how she wished- to see his face now, when his eyes were staring at her.
"You don´t need to follow me anymore, because I want you right beside me." There was a pause and she feared he could hear her heart that beated uncontrollable in her chest. She was speechless. He wouldn´t... -Would he?
There was a faint noise of rustling clothes when he lay something into her palm. It was velvet and angular shaped.
She turned her head up with a questioning look in her eyes. When his voice started again she recognized that he did not stand on his feet anymore.
„Riza Hawkeye. Please. Would you be my wife?"
And still.
She was speechless and couldn´t say a word.