Bella

"No! No way mom! You can't do this to me, mom please!"

"I'm sorry Bella, but this has to be done."

"But mom, just listen to what I have to say!"

"No."

That's it. My life was done. Renée was rarely this serious about anything, but when she made up her mind, there was no budging her. She had let me off the hook heaps of times before, but now I was royally screwed. It was all my fault really, it always is. Yeah, I get grounded a lot. But this time she's mad. Like really mad.

"Mom, Please, I can't go to Forks, you can't send me there."

She didn't reply. Shaking my head I left my room, tears running down my face. How could she do this to me? She knew how much I hated Forks. She herself hated Forks. Then why this? I ran down the steps and stepped inside the kitchen, my kitchen. A sob building up in my chest knowing that this would be the last time I'd be cooking in here. I walked over to the window and stared out, into the warm sunshine. I loved sunshine and I loved Phoenix. And now I had to go. Had to leave it all behind. And the worst part was knowing that I had brought this all on me. I couldn't blame Renée one bit. She was doing the right thing. But even then I couldn't bring myself to accept it.

"Bella?" A deep voice broke through interrupting my train of thought. I turned around to face Phil. Renée's husband. "I'm sorry Bella, but this time I can't argue with her. She's right. You need to go and live with your father, you need the change." I didn't reply, knowing that it'd be useless anyway. They were right and I was wrong. And I hated myself for being wrong. I wiped away the residual tears from my face, walked past Phil and ran back to my room again. I found Renée there, hunched over, her face in her hands. Sobbing. And I hated myself even more for hurting her. For hurting everyone I loved. And I made up my mind.

I was going to Forks without one more complaint.

"I love you honey, please don't hate me for doing this, I'm doing this for your own good, you'll realize that later, just take care and always call me, okay? And say hi to Charlie for me, take care of him too, and-"

Renée was stopped by Phil pulling at her arm. I was in the airport, all set to leave. Hadn't cried once since last night. But I knew it was all building up somewhere inside me, and I was working too hard to keep it in check. But I had to do this. For the sake of everyone I loved. I hugged Renée for a few seconds and let go of her, internally screaming at myself to not let go. She kissed my forehead and cheeks and tried to smile at me with puffy red eyes. Her expression was rather comical and I had to smile back at her.

"Alright now, time to go. Look after yourself Bella." Phil said with a small smile. I nodded at him, kissed Renée one last time and walked away from them, swallowing the sobs that were threatening to break through with every step I took.

I was on air, headphones plugged to my ears. Chewing bubble gum, my eyes staring out of the tiny window. I tried to remember what Port Angeles looked like but couldn't. I wondered about Charlie instead. My dad. Renée and Charlie split up when I was about two. She settled in Phoenix with me. Two years back, she met Phil and they got married. Everyone was happy. I was glad that she finally met someone. It had never occurred to me that Charlie never found anyone. And it was disturbing to think of it now. I felt guilty somehow, even if clearly, this was not my fault. I wanted to make it up for Charlie. I wanted to be the daughter he's never had. I didn't want to disappoint him. I wanted to start all over. Away from alcohol and drugs and fatal accidents and ending up in hospitals or police stations.

I was Isabella swan, daughter of chief swan, seventeen years old and I wanted to be good.

The plane had landed at half past six…maybe half past six. I was confused. Charlie had arrived thirty minutes earlier to greet me. And I felt guilty for keeping him waiting, even if it wasn't my fault that he had been stupid to come so early.

Man, I feel way too guilty for everything.

I couldn't decipher the emotion that passed through me when I met Charlie. I could see that he was supremely happy for having me and also anxious about me. And I also knew that somewhere inside his head he was disappointed at me. We hugged rather awkwardly. We were too much like each other. We couldn't open up to people and we rarely said our exact thoughts out loud. He led me to his cruiser and I suppressed a groan. I had always hated riding in that. We were quiet through out the journey only occasionally trying to make small talk. Well, it was usually me who started it….and ended it.

Finally we crossed the boundaries of Forks. A small, dreary town in the Olympic peninsula, that was constantly under the clouds. I didn't want to think about it. I wouldn't think about it.

Charlie's house was still the same. The same gray-blue paint covered the wood, completely withered by rain and wind. Inside, it was warm. It was the only bit of warmth I received after arriving here. Charlie took me to my room. And I wanted to wail and run back to Phoenix when I caught sight of it. The walls were oak brown and just plain boring. There was a little dressing table with no mirror and a little study table. The bed was small, the sheets were white and looked extremely rough. The deep blue quilt seemed to be the only thing that was nice. I kind of liked it. I took a deep breath and turned around to face Charlie.

"The room looks good dad. Thanks."

"Who are you kidding Bells? This place looks like somebody died in here. You're goin' shopping tomorrow to get some new stuff for your room. I'd have done it myself but I don't know what you prefer so…" It was the longest speech Charlie had made since I got here and even if it was about my room, I couldn't help but smile at him. Charlie blushed and I smiled wider. "Its alright dad. I'll do it myself. Don't worry." Charlie nodded. "Okay then. I'll leave you to get fresh and you must be hungry…." He frowned at his feet. I knew he hadn't thought of that before. Charlie was simple and he usually ate stuff like pizza or stake over at some local restaurant or something. Charlie had suffered enough for one night and I didn't have the heart to bother him anymore.

"It's fine. I'm not really hungry, I'm just tired. I want to get some sleep that's all." He nodded, eyes still glued to his feet. He walked over to the door, turned the knob and stepped out, then turned around again like he'd forgotten something.

"Bells?"

"yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're here" I nodded with a small smile.

"Night dad."

"Night Bells." Saying this he closed the door and I heard his heavy footsteps descend down the old staircase.

That night, as I lay on the rough sheets, covered in the soft, comfortable quilt, I didn't cry. Not even once.