Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own.
I remember when they told me. When they told me that that little demon would come and ruin everything.
I was just about to turn sixteen when Jenna called me into the kitchen. She and Chuck were sitting at the table, eyes as excited as though she was on drugs. Which, you know, could've been why they called me in anyway.
"Yo." I remember I sat down across from them, drumming my fingers to an imaginary beat. Jenna stopped me.
She glanced at Chuck and then blurted, "We're pregnant!"
Chuck frowned. "Jenna, we were supposed to bring it up slowly, like it says in those parenting books." Chuck thinks that books and the internet and all that jazz explains everything. Unfortunetly, the books he buys are extremely cheap.
Sadly, Jenna and Chuck Puckett are my parents.
I looked at them awkwardly. "Er…is that it? 'Cause I was kind of in the middle of doing whatever it was I was doing."
"'Is that it?' Sam, this is excellent news! In fact, we're going out to dinner to celebrate!" Jenna clapped her hands.
"Oh shit," I muttered. "Where are we going?"
"Samantha, don't use bad language. It's a sign of bad parenting. It says so in Parents Verses Peers," Chuck said.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I waved it away like it was nothing.
Now, a year later, the three-month-old demon-bitch-baby is all they care about. Yes, Chuck, I am using bad language. Screw Peers Verses Parents or whatever it was.
It was Camielle (my new sister)'s third baby shower. Yes. Her THIRD. I, like most children, had only gotten one and it was before I was born. Supposedly Chuck and Jenna "haven't had a baby for soooo long that they wanted to relive the experience to its fullest." Oh, please. And what was with the name? Camielle. They're so old-fashioned! First Samantha, now Camielle. I'd feel sorry for her if my name wasn't so sucky.
Finally, the last straw hit. Aunt Ophielia, my bizarre aunt who had a crow named Berkley for a pet and styled her hair in dreadlocks, came up to me and pinched my cheeks. I hate when she does that.
"Are you happy that you finally have a little sister? She's such a doll," asked Aunt Ophielia. Okay, my cheek was reeeeally hurting now.
I put on a fake smile and said, "Yeah, yeah I am." I had to escape. I unlocked the door and bolted outside. I took my emergency car keys out of my pocket and fired up Chuck's minivan and drove all the way to Carly's parking lot. After banging on her door for about ten minutes I picked the lock to Freddie's house and snuck in. His mom wasn't home.
I'm not quite sure what was going through my head at this moment. I found Freddie in his room, sitting at his desk doing homework. I pushed him onto his bed and tore off his shirt. Shockingly, he didn't protest. I ripped off my shirt and jeans, and broke his belt buckle with my bear hands. As my lips brushed his, a single wave of doubt flew into my mind….