song- Numb by Linkin Park
Tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
Don't know what your expecting of me
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes
Tony looked up and saw his father. He had made it very clear that Tony was never smart enough, fast enough, or good enough in anything. His father could not choose the path of his life; that was for him to discover and he did not want to be like his father.
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow just caught in the under tow
His father refused to pay for his schooling to become a police officer. Drowning in bills and homework he didn't know how much more he could take. However, he felt that he had made the right choice in breaking away from his father.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
His rough childhood had basically left him numb to the affection of others. It took him awhile to discover what it meant to feel cared for. Tony could now care for himself and be self-sufficient, he'd been like that most of his life anyway, but he needed someone to love him or even just care.
Can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
Tony's father had been enraged the last night. Finally realizing that he wasn't coming crawling back to daddy ready to run the business, his father lost it he said he counted on him to do this and it was his duty as a son. Tony stared at him and told him that this was his father's problem, not his and that he was not his son, he was his offspring.
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
And every second I waste is more than I can take
Tony was drowning under his fathers expectations. He had not expected him to go to his graduation, but it was even worse when he showed up drunk and told all of his classmates everything stupid he had ever done, sparing no detail. He understood that his life was not excepted by his father, but 'daddy' didn't have to make it worse.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
is be more like me
And be less like you
He couldn't take this anymore. Being rich and famous does not give you the right to humiliate others. He now knew what he had to do, he had to move away, get a new job, and have nothing to do with the family business.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
He knew this might not work, but it was his only chance. Going away was going to be a big, but necessary step. He could now be free.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
is be more like me
And be less like you
He was not his father and he knew that. He was Tony, Anthony DiNozzo. A name was nothing; He and his father would never be associated again.